Jackie Collins, page 39
Help Unlimited was an instant hit. Word traveled fast, and before they
knew it Lauren and Pia were inundated with clients. In fact so many
that after the first three months they had to hire two helpers. It was
a hectic existence. One day Lauren found herself watering houseplants
in a Park Avenue duplex and the next organizing a fantastic midnight
dinner for thirty on top of the Empire State Building!
Pia had met a man she was crazy about. His name was Howard Liberty,
and he was an executive with Liberty and Charles-one of the most
prestigious advertising agencies in New York. Howard was short and
sandy-haired with a pleasing personality. Lauren liked him
immediately.
"Good, because we're talking marriage," Pia admitted excitedly.
Nature's affair with Emerson Burn continued on its erratic course.
Once in a while he would call on the services of Help Unlimited, but
Lauren always made sure Pia dealt with him. Somehow she never felt
comfortable in his presence.
Every so often someone tried to fix her up, even though they knew she
wasn't open to a new relationship. She'd erected a wall around her
emotional life and it was there to stay. All her energy was directed
toward creating a successful business.
"What are you gonna do-stay celibate?" Nature asked.
"I don't have to jump in and out of bed to be happy," she replied
calmly. "I'm building a business."
"You're really strange," Nature said, shaking her head. "No way I
could go without sex.
Big surprise!
ria and Howard fixed a wedding date. "I hope this doesn't mean you'll
be leaving the business," Lauren said.
"No way!" Pia replied adamantly. "I certainly don't plan on sitting
home having babies."
"Good!" Lauren said, relieved.
One Monday morning Nature called at six a.m. Lauren groped for the
phone in her sleep.
"It's me!" Nature screeched. "I'm in Vegas. I bleedin' got hitched,
didn't I?"
"Hitched?"
"Married, of course! Me an' Emerson finally did it."
"Oh, no," Lauren mumbled.
"What do you mean, Oh, no? Ang out the flags. I'm bleedin' Mrs.
Emerson Burn, ein't I!"
Lauren couldn't think of a worse combination. The two of them together
were much too volatile, they'd kill each other. She struggled to sit
up. "Why did you do it?"
"Oh, this is nice," Nature said. "You're the first person I call, an'
all I get is negative shit. We're in love, Lauren. In love!"
"Does the press know?"
"Not yet."
"When they find out you'll be inundated."
"Emerson's calling is manager. I expect they'll arrange a press
conference. Can you fly out here to be with me? I'll pay."
"You don't have to pay. If you want me, I'm there."
"We're flying back to L.A. this afternoon. Emerson's a bleedin' maniac
at the tables-there's no controlling im. Gotta get im outta ere
quick.
Tell you what, why don't you meet us at is L.A. house tomorrow? Oh,
an' do me a big favor."
"Name it."
"Call Samm an' tell her. If I caller, she'll only scream at me.
Samm took the news stoically. It wasn't the first time one of her
girls had run off and married a rock star, and it wouldn't be the
last.
Pia wasn't thrilled when Lauren informed her she was flying to L.A.
"You know I'm getting married next week. I need you here," she said.
"I'll be back," Lauren assured her. "All the arrangements are in
lace-everything will go smoothly. And I promise you I'll be here."
"Why do you have to go?" Pia complained.
"Because Nature is my friend," Lauren said.
"Ha!" Pia exclaimed. "Nature likes you because you do things for
her.
Trust Pia to be cynical. "Thanks a lot."
Pia sighed. "What will you do? Sit by the pool watching them fight
while I run the business all by myself?"
"Come on, Pia," she said persuasively. "I've never been to L.A. I'll
only stay a few days."
By the time she'd organized her departure, Nature and Emerson's
marriage had hit the airwaves in a big way. Even though Nature had
said there were no press present, photographs of them began appearing
everywhere. Nature in a short white minidress lovingly feeding Emerson
wedding cake. Emerson in black leather, his mane of shaggy hair
falling way below his shoulders. Nature grinning. Emerson scowling.
They looked happy.
They looked stoned.
Lauren sat on the American Airlines flight studying the New York
Post.
A picture of Nature and Emerson dominated the front page.
"Rock stars," sniffed a blue-haired woman in the next seat.
"They're all degenerates, you know."
Lauren ignored the woman and closed her eyes. She was en route to L.A.
It was a long way from Bosewell.
Embarking from the plane she felt like a movie star. A uniformed black
driver greeted her at the gate and accompanied her to the luggage
carousel, where she pointed out her one small suitcase.
He looked surprised. "That it?"
"That's it," she replied, sure it must be a disappointment for him
having to meet a nobody like her. But he seemed quite cheerful as she
followed him outside to the limo.
Everything in Los Angeles seemed bigger and better. The sky was bluer,
the trees greener, and the limousine she climbed into was longer and
more luxurious than any limo she'd ever seen. It was white with black
windows, and inside there were tiny lights dotted all around the sides
"Ever been to L.A. before?" the driver asked as they cruised along the
freeway.
"Never," she replied, settling back into the luxurious leather
upholstery.
"It's a trip," he said, peering at her through the rearview mirror.
"I've been out here ten years now. Came from Chicago. Name's
Tucker."
"And you like it better here?" she asked politely.
"L.A. life is easy."
"How long have you worked for Emerson Burn?"
"Six months. He's a good guy. Sometimes I get to travel with him."
"I guess his marriage surprised you."
Tucker laughed. "When it comes to rock n rollers, nothing surprises
me."
Emerson lived in a mansion high in the hills of Bel Air. A guard waved
Tucker through, and the huge gates closed behind them as the limo
snaked its way up a long winding driveway. At the top of the hill was
the largest house Lauren had ever seen.
As soon as the limousine drew up to the front door Nature came running
out, wearing a red polka-dot bikini. "You're here!" she screamed
happily. "About bleedin' time." They hugged warmly.
"Come on in," Nature said, pulling her through the massive front
door.
"Welcome to me ever so umble home."
The house was a palace. High vaulted ceilings, old masters on the wall
and heavy overstuffed furniture." Course, it's not exactly my taste,
but I'll soon get im to change everything," Nature said
matterof-factly, dragging Lauren through a domed-ceiling hallway toward
the pool in the back.
"It doesn't look like his taste either," Lauren remarked, taking in
everything.
"Some queen decorator did it," Nature said off handedly. "Probably
wanted to give im one." She laughed at the thought. "C'mon outside
an' congratulate the bridegroom."
Emerson Burn rested on a lounger beside an enormous blue pool wearing
nothing but a black Speedo bikini.
Lauren's eyes traveled to the bulge. Either he used padding or
everything you saw up on stage was the real thing.
His shaggy mane was bunched into a ponytail emerging from a black
baseball cap. Ominous black shades covered his eyes. On either side
of him was a small table. One held a phone, a tall jug of apple juice,
two bottles of Stolichnaya vodka and several glasses. The other table
was piled high with scripts.
Nature bounced over. "You remember Lauren, don't you, darling?"
Emerson removed his shades and stared at her with his dreamy gray
eyes.
Lauren stared back, wondering if he used mascara on his long curling
lashes. "Uh . . congratulations," she mumbled.
"Thanks," he said, putting his shades back on and lifting his chin to
catch more sun.
"Come back inside," Nature giggled. "I'll give you the grand tour."
By the time Nature had dragged her all around the huge mansion, Lauren
was exhausted. "Can I take a shower?" she asked hopefully.
"Yeah, ave a sleep, too, cause tonight we're gonna party!"
"I didn't come here to party," she objected. "I came to help you
out."
"Don't need any help, luv-Emerson's got sixty thousand people working
for im. I'm entitled to ave a friend visit, ein't I? I just got
married, for God's sake." She paused by a mirror in the hallway,
attracted by her own reflection. "Hmm . . I'm getting' fat," she
remarked, pinching her slim waistline.
"No, you're not," Lauren said firmly. "How can you say that?"
"It creeps up on you, luv," Nature replied, frowning as she turned this
way and that, inspecting her body. "Oh, by the way, what did Samm
say?"
"She wasn't exactly ecstatic."
"I bet the old bag wasn't. Did you teller to cancel all me bookings
for the next month?"
"No, I thought we'd discuss it first."
"There's nothing to discuss."
"Just because you're married doesn't mean you should give up your
career.
"Who's givin' it up? But I ein't workin' me bleedin' arse off when I
can stick with Em." She lowered her voice to a confidential whisper E
can't be trusted, y'know. Ave you any idea what happens on these
tours? Rock stars got dumb little groupies crawling' all over em like
bleedin' fungus. I'm gonna travel with im, protect me interests."
"You won't be very popular if you cancel your bookings."
"This ein't a popularity contest," Nature retorted, flinging open a
door and leading Lauren into a large sunny room overlooking the pool.
"Ere's your room.
"Oh, my God! It's bigger than my apartment!"
"Everything's bigger and better in California," Nature announced.
"You'll soon get used to it. How long can you stay?"
"Three days."
"You ave t'stay at least a week."
"I can't run out on Pia."
"Shel manage."
"Three days, Nature."
"Four days."
"Okay. Deal."
Nature smiled knowingly. "By that time you'll be beggin' to stay
longer. Ave a lie-down-someone will wake you at six."
Lauren took a shower in the marble bathroom and then lay in the middle
of the king-size bed. Within minutes she was asleep.
When she awoke it was late in the afternoon. She wandered over to the
window and observed Emerson Burn in the pool. He was swimming laps as
if his life depended on it. Anything to keep in shape.
Her first Hollywood party and everyone was dressed to over-kill. The
mansion, owned by a record tycoon, was bigger and better than Emerson
Burn's. Servants abounded.
Ave a gander over there," Nature said, nudging Lauren sharply in the
ribs. "It's Jack bleedin' Nicholson, ein't it? Wanna meet him?"
"No," Lauren said, horrified at the thought.
Nature giggled. "When you're out with me you can meet anyone you
want.
Who do you fancy?"
"I fancy sitting in a corner by myself."
"You're having fun, ain'tcha?"
"You know my idea of fun. I prefer to watch."
"Very kinky!"
"Do me a favor-go off with your husband and enjoy yourself. I'm
perfectly happy."
Nature didn't need much encouragement. "Okeydoke. I'll check you
later."
Looking around, Lauren couldn't get over the fact that there were more
waiters than guests. She requested a club soda from one with a blond
crew cut and found a corner for herself, trying to remember everything
she saw so she could tell Pia.
Not only was Jack Nicholson present, but she recognized a whole slew of
other famous faces. A smiling Burt Reynolds, a gorgeous Angie
Dickinson, a strutting Rod Stewart, a dignified-looking Gregory Peck.
The little girl in her said, Why didn't I bring my autograph book?
The big girl said, I don't want to be here. Let me out!
Everybody kissed each other, only their lips never touched.
Conversation seemed transient. The women wore jewels the like of which
she'd never seen.
Nature reveled in it. Lauren watched her as she fluttered from person
to person. Emerson didn't follow her around, he sat at the bar and
everybody came over to pay homage. He was a rock star. It was his
due.
Lauren found it easy to blend into the background. Although at one
time she'd been the prettiest girl in Bosewell, she certainly didn't
impress anybody in Hollywood. Not that she was trying. In fact, as
usual she'd played down her looks-her hair was neatly drawn back, she
wore no makeup and her simple outfit blended into the background.
Nature often screamed at her about the way she dressed, and Pia was
into giving lectures claiming she didn't make the most of herself "I'm
perfectly happy the way I am," she'd told them both.
By midnight she was ready to leave, but Nature was still going strong
and Emerson showed no signs of moving. The house had its own
discotheque-a mirrored room with flashing strobe lights, black granite
floors and a wasted-looking disc jockey.
Lauren managed to grab hold of Nature as she fluttered by on her way to
dance. "I'm falling asleep," she whispered. "Do you mind if I go?"
"Don't worry," Nature screeched. "We'll be out of ere soon."
"Maybe I can take the car and send it back for you?"
"Do what you want," Nature replied vaguely, continuing on her way.
Tucker was outside talking to a group of drivers. "They're not ready,"
Lauren said, "but I am."
Tucker nodded. "I'll bring the car around."
Sitting in the back of the luxurious limo she closed her eyes all the
way back to Emerson's mansion. When she arrived she couldn't wait to
fall into bed.
Sometime before dawn she was awakened by a screaming fight between
Nature and Emerson.
What else was new?
he next few months passed quickly. Nick had his apartment, a stash of
money from the Tijuana job and Joy Byron's class to keep him busy. Joy
Byron had turned out to be the teacher of his dreams. She didn't
criticize, she nurtured-carefully watching every move he made. The
other students in the class couldn't wait to pick everyone's
performance to pieces. Fuck em. As long as Joy thought he was good,
