Best Served Cold, page 11
As talented as my brother was, he had an incredibly difficult time sharing his art with people. Everyone except Stone had seen his work, but that didn’t dull his anxiety.
My brother was a kind soul, but he’d been hurt a lot in his life. Most of his trauma stemmed from people taking advantage of his open and friendly nature. He was a master at pretending like nothing fazed him and everything just rolled right off his back, but that was the mask he’d learned to wear after years of being treated like he was stupid just because he wasn’t good at school.
No one ever encouraged his art, not even our parents, because they’d bought into the bullshit notion that grades were everything and your only worth was in your future career. Academics and sports, the things that could get us scholarships and looked good on college applications, were all anyone cared about.
He’d shown Noah his sketchbook, which was huge for River, especially because he’d done it so quickly.
River’s instincts about people were always spot-on. He was slower to trust people than even I was. He not only liked Noah, he trusted him. He couldn’t always explain how he had a sixth sense about people’s true intentions, but if his gut said Noah could be trusted, I wasn’t going to argue.
“Discreet?” Kai arched an eyebrow.
“Let’s just say it’s a bit spicy.” River pushed his hair back from where it had fallen over his forehead.
“Okay, now I have to see that one.” Nick jumped up from Gray’s lap and peered over the top of the paper.
“Can I show everyone?” Kai asked.
River nodded and bit the corner of his mouth nervously.
Kai flipped the page around. River had found a photo of Kai and Alex on Alex’s Instagram that had been taken at their graduation a few months ago. In the photo, they were standing side by side in their gowns with their arms around each other, but instead of smiling for the camera, they were gazing into each other’s eyes and looking so happy and in love it was both cute, and a bit nauseating.
“Jesus.” Stone leaned closer to the page. “That’s incredible.”
“Thanks.” River’s cheeks brightened with a blush.
“Now let’s see the other one.” Gray grinned mischievously.
Without hesitation, Kai flipped to the second sheet, his eyes immediately widening.
“Damn, my dude.” Nick gaped at the page. “That’s hotter than most of the porn I watch.”
River had drawn the couple so Kai was sitting on a bed, his legs extended, as Alex straddled his hips. Kai’s hands were under Alex’s ass, like he was helping to move him over his cock, as Alex clung to Kai’s shoulders. Their faces were twisted up with passion, and even though they looked like they were moments away from blowing their loads, the love they shared radiated off the page.
“Should I ask how you got the inspiration for this?” Kai asked River with a sly grin.
“You know exactly where it came from.” River grinned back at him.
“Wait, what?” Gray said.
“Story time,” Nick chimed.
“No story, really.” Kai carefully tucked the portraits back in the protective envelope. “I didn’t realize River had walked behind me while I was watching a video Alex and I made and he caught an eyeful.”
“You were watching homemade porn at work?” Jett asked, lining up another shot glass with the three already on the bar top.
“Best way to get a stiffy before going on stage.” Kai set the envelope down. “Thank you.” He stepped toward River and pulled him into a tight hug.
I tuned out the guys as they started talking about Kai’s move and his timeline for when school started and kept an eye on River.
He didn’t have abandonment issues like Gray, but saying goodbye to people was hard for him.
“I’m just going to go get something,” River said, his smile a bit wobbly. “BRB.”
“Is he okay?” Stone looked concerned.
“He will be,” I said. “He doesn’t handle change well. He just needs time to process everything.”
“So,” Jett spoke up hesitantly, “anyone want a drink?”
“Hell yeah.” Nick jumped onto Gray’s lap.
“Oof.” Gray grunted.
“Oops. Did I crush your dick?” Nick threw him an apologetic look over his shoulder.
“Little bit.” Gray shifted under him and wrapped one arm around Nick’s waist, sliding him over to one side of his lap.
“Good thing you’re a bottom.” Nick pinched Gray’s thigh and swerved his attention to Jett. “You were mentioning drinks.”
Jett motioned to the six shot glasses in front of him nervously. “I thought we’d stick with a theme tonight.” He pointed to each glass as he told us what was in it. “We’ve got a screaming orgasm, a pornstar, a blowjob, a slippery nipple, a cum shot, and a cowboy cocksucker.”
“A cowboy cocksucker?” River sidled up next to me. “That’s a real drink?”
“It is, and it tastes like butterscotch.”
“Butterscotch? Ooooh, I want that one.” Nick eagerly swiped the glass from the lineup.
“I think Stone needs the pornstar.” Kai winked at him.
He rolled one shoulder in a half shrug as Jett slid the shot to him.
“Zane?” Kai asked. “Riv? What do you guys want?”
“I don’t get a choice?” Gray teased.
“I’ll take whatever,” River said. “They all taste like fire and sugar water to me anyway.”
“Same,” I said.
Kai looked pointedly at Gray.
“I’ll take a screaming orgasm, please.”
Nick and River snickered as Jett slid the glass in front of Gray.
“I’ll grab ours.” River put the envelope he’d gotten from the back room down and went to the bar to grab the last shots.
My neck heated as he handed me the blowjob.
River shot me a curious look but didn’t say anything.
“Toast time!” Nick held up his shot, pausing while everyone did the same. “To Kai. The big brother I never had and the friend I always wanted.”
“To Kai,” we all chorused.
I slammed back my drink, barely tasting it as I tried to keep my focus on my friends and not on the memories of what Noah and I had done earlier.
“To Kai,” Gray said, a hairline fracture in his voice. “My friend, my brother, and one of the best people I know. We’re gonna miss you, but we’re so proud of everything you’ve accomplished, and I can’t wait to see what you achieve.”
“Goddammit.” Kai swiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “Come here.”
Nick slipped off Gray’s lap. Gray stood and he and Kai embraced roughly, hugging each other tight as Kai whispered something to him.
I glanced at River to see how he was doing. Any sort of emotional situation always affected him. Seeing people sad made him sad.
He gave me a wobbly smile. He wasn’t okay, but he would be. I’d make sure of that.
Kai did a quick round of hugs, nearly crushing my ribs when he squeezed me like he was trying to get the last of the toothpaste out of a tube.
“Wow. Talk about mood killer.” Kai chuckled and raked his hand through his dark hair. “My bad.”
“Do we want to do shots, or switch to drinks?” Jett asked.
“Shots?” Kai asked the group.
“I’ll take a virgin of whatever,” Stone said. “Driving.”
“Same,” I said.
Jett glanced at Nick and Gray.
“Shots. I’m getting a drive and already told Evan to wait up because drunk Nick is a horny Nick.”
“Isn’t awake Nick a horny Nick?” River teased. “I’m good with whatever. This one is my DD.” He lightly cuffed my shoulder.
“Shots are good.” Gray braced as Nick jumped on his lap again.
“Did I hurt your dick?” he asked Gray.
“Not this time.”
“Oh good. Tell Caleb he’s welcome.” Nick patted Gray’s cheek.
“Are you going to give it to him now, or wait?” I asked River.
He bit his lip. “Maybe I shouldn’t. Is it weird?”
“It’s not weird.”
River had also drawn a portrait of Stone as a peace offering for the way we’d treated him. My brother wasn’t good with words, but he always found ways to show people he cared.
“Are you sure?”
The only time River wasn’t completely confident was when it came to his art. I hated that he doubted himself or his talent, but after years of being berated for being more artistic than academic, I doubted he’d ever get over it.
River picked up the envelope and scurried over to Stone. “I, um, made this for you. As a sorry. And a thanks. Like, sorry we were dicks and thanks for not holding it against us.”
Stone’s smile was bright and genuine and River instantly relaxed.
“I’d never say no to any of you holding your dick against me. Just saying,” Nick quipped.
“Do we need to tell Evan that you’re thirsting after your besties?” Gray teased.
“Forget Evan.” Kai laughed. “It’s his bodyguard I’d worry about.”
Nick smiled serenely. “They’re puppies. You just need to know how to handle them.”
“Holy shit.”
We all turned to Stone, who was staring in awe at the drawing River had given him.
“This is amazing. I’m…thank you. This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.” Stone swallowed hard, his throat working.
“Can we see?” Gray asked.
“Is it spicy?” Nick asked.
Stone glanced at River. He nodded.
“It’s a little spicy.” He flipped the page around, showing off the portrait of him in nothing but a pair of tiny briefs and a smile. In the drawing, he was in the midst of pushing down his briefs with his hard dick straining against the fabric.
River had found the photo on Stone’s OnlyFans, and he’d perfectly captured Stone’s playful grin and every dip and curve of his ridiculous body.
“Duuuude,” Nick said, shifting so he was perched on Gray’s knees and could see the page better. “The dick print is on point.”
River shrugged. “The man has a nice one.” He glanced around. “What? Is that weird to say?”
“Considering it’s you, nope. Not weird at all.” Gray yanked Nick back onto his lap. “Can you maybe stay still for five seconds and stop using my dick as a springboard?”
“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.” Nick chuckled.
“Soooo many jokes in there,” Kai said.
“Ready for the next round?” Jett asked when there was a break in the conversation.
I waited as Jett passed the drinks out and accepted the virgin sex on the beach he handed me.
“What’s your real name?” Kai asked Stone. “You don’t have to tell us, but you can trust us.”
Stone ran his finger over the rim of his glass. “It’s Quinn. Quinn Reynolds.”
“Quinn.” River tilted his head in thought. “You look like a Quinn.”
Kai raised his glass. “I’m glad you’re here, Quinn.”
Quinn lifted his own glass and discreetly cleared his throat. “Thanks. And congratulations on everything. You’re gonna rock this next chapter of your life.”
We toasted and sipped our drinks, but I tuned the guys out as they started chatting about random stuff. Everyone was used to my silence, so the only person who noticed this particular brand of my distraction was River.
Tonight had irrevocably changed things between Noah and me, and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, or the biggest mistake I’d ever made.
10
NOAH
Moving as slowly as possible, I pulled the door to Becca’s room closed, wincing at the audible click as it latched.
I froze and held my breath.
Please stay asleep. Please don’t wake up again.
When nothing happened, I let out a weary sigh and trudged into the living room.
The last twenty-four hours had been some of the longest and most confusing of my life.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around how I’d gone to the club to see Zane dance but had ended up getting a public lap dance and exchanging blowjobs behind the building.
The most confusing part was that while I didn’t regret it, the whole situation still filled me with a deep sense of shame. Zane didn’t even like me, and he wasn’t into guys. Nothing about this meant anything to him. It was just another facet of the bizarre energy that had always been between us. A way for him to get the upper hand and see me lose my shit.
That’s what it was supposed to be for me, too. Just two impulsive idiots being dumbasses and messing with each other’s heads.
So why the fuck couldn’t I let it go?
I’d come home from the club and gone right to bed, but my stupid brain hadn’t wanted to shut down, not even after downing a few of the sleeping pills I kept in reserve for when my insomnia got really bad. I’d lain awake, tossing and turning for hours as the events of the night, and the party, and the bar, played in my head in a constant loop.
Zane on his knees for me, his dark eyes blazing with that magnetic energy I couldn’t seem to get enough of. The intensity of it, the way it narrowed my focus and quieted the noise in my head. How he made me feel like the only person in the world. Like he wasn’t just looking at me but was seeing me.
I’d managed to fall asleep about an hour before my alarm went off and dragged my ass to work, dreading facing Zane again after what had gone down.
He’d been completely unaffected by it and treated me exactly the same as the day before.
That hurt, and I had no fucking clue why.
With a low groan, I lowered myself onto the couch and glanced at the time. Becca should be home within the hour. Hopefully I could actually fall asleep tonight so I could make it through tomorrow without killing myself, or someone else, because I couldn’t pay attention to the job.
Trrrr. Trrrr. Trrrr.
The number on my phone wasn’t in my contacts, but the area code from back home made my hackles rise.
I’d already blocked my family, their friends, and everyone from church. Who would be calling me, especially this late?
I should let it go to voicemail.
But what if it was important? What if something happened that we needed to know about?
Too tired to keep spinning about this, I snatched up my phone and answered the call.
“Hello?”
“Noah?”
“Mom?” I straightened up, my hackles rising.
“Of course it’s me. You don’t remember your own mother’s voice?” she said in that fake pout that drove me up the fucking wall.
“Sorry. Didn’t recognize the number.”
“You might have if you hadn’t blocked me,” she said icily. “That’s the thanks we get after raising you? Providing for you?”
“Why are you calling?” I cut her off before she could lean into her guilt trip.
I’d been hearing this song my entire life. Every time I stepped out of line or tried to take any sort of control over my life, she’d come at me with the ‘you owe us because we made you’ argument.
Of course the one time I’d pointed out how I hadn’t asked to be born, and that providing for your children is the bare minimum of being a parent, she’d taken the door off my bedroom and taped scriptures and quotes from her favorite pastors about sin and entitlement and not honoring your parents all over my walls as punishment.
“Excuse me?” she asked haughtily. “I’m your mother. I can call you whenever I want for whatever reason I want.”
“I just meant what’s going on now. It’s been a long week.”
“Your father is retiring.”
“Oh.” I paused, waiting for her to continue. “That’s…good.”
“You need to come home.”
I managed to stifle the laugh that tried bubbling out of my chest. “I’m sorry?”
“We’ve been praying and talking with Pastor Michael and we think it’s time you come home, settle into a proper Christian life, and take over the store like we always planned.”
I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood.
My dad ran a small Christian bookstore while our mother had been a stay-at-home wife. I couldn’t even call her a stay-at-home mom because Becca and I had spent our childhoods either at church, or working in the store for free.
I had no interest in running a business, especially not a Christian bookstore. And I had zero desire to ever step foot in my hometown again. I’d told them over and over that wasn’t my plan, but they just ignored my reasons and kept planning my future for me.
“I can’t just leave. I have a life here. A job, friends. Becca and the kids need me.”
“Your sister is living the consequences of her sins. Pastor Michael said God is testing her and trying to bring her back to her faith. But as long as you’re there to take the burdens off her, her heart and soul will never be cleansed.”
“Consequences of her sins?” I said incredulously. “How is it her fault that she never got any sort of sex education or had the opportunity to learn about her own body? Is it also her fault that she wasn’t taught about consent or bodily autonomy because a good Christian woman submits to her partner and he’s owed sex because he owns her?”
“That’s not—”
“Or how about how you kicked her out when you found out she was pregnant? How you not only let her date a man who was ten years older than her, who should never have even looked twice at a literal teenager, but also encouraged it?”
“Your sister made her choice,” she said heartlessly.
“You don’t even care that you have two grandchildren you don’t know and haven’t met. How can you just turn your back on them like that?”
“Children born out of sin—”
“Are children. They’re perfect and innocent and not responsible for the circumstances of their birth. Isn’t that your argument? That every child is a gift from God? That every life is sacred? Does that only apply to fetuses? Or is it only the children of single mothers who aren’t worthy of God’s love?”
