The Carter Legacy: 3 Book Box Set, page 39
It was Joanna, she was the key somehow. The killer had wanted Bryce to suffer there was no doubt about it but it was cold and calculated. But the way she’d gone after Joanna and smashed the back of her head in, with a hammer of all things, made him wonder if there was some sort of history between the two of them. Or was the killer just projecting her anger for someone else on to her victims.
He looked up as a shadow fell over his desk.
‘Mrs E?’ he frowned at the sudden appearance of Jackson’s mom.
‘You may as well get used to calling me Irina, Dex,’ she replied. ‘I won’t be Mrs Evans for much longer.’
He looked around at the darkened, quiet department, lit only by occasional desk lamps of those of his colleagues, who like, him were in the thick of a case.
‘Irina,’ he replied, ‘it’s late, what are you doing here?’
‘I…’
He noticed her hands folding and unfolding nervously in front of her and the way her eyes darted about uncomfortably.
‘What?’ he coaxed her, ‘what is it Irina?’
‘I heard about Joanna,’ she swallowed slowly.
‘Yes,’ he answered carefully, ‘it was terrible.’
‘Dex…I need your help,’ she whispered, ‘I think I’m in real trouble.’
24.
Jackson reached out and placed his hand on Cass’s knee to calm her. She glanced down at his hand, unaware she’d been jiggling her knee for the past twenty minutes.
‘It’s okay Cass,’ he told her in a low voice, ‘you don’t have to do this right now if you need more time.’
Cass glanced around the waiting room with its cheerful bouquet of daisies on the table in front of her surrounded by a fan of magazines, and the bright green colored couches.
‘No,’ she blew out her breath, ‘Dex went to a lot of trouble to get me in with this woman on such short notice. I’m just nervous I guess.’
‘I know,’ he replied soothingly.
‘Are you sure Saul didn’t mind you taking the day off?’ she asked worriedly.
‘He didn’t mind at all. In case it had escaped your notice he’s very fond of you,’ Jackson smiled. ‘Besides, he’s got a doctor’s appointment about his back; we probably wouldn’t have got much done today anyway.’
‘Well you’re lucky,’ she sighed, ‘I still need to go into work this afternoon.’
‘You can take the day off you know,’ he told her. ‘Iris said she’d cover for you.’
‘I know,’ she shook her head, ‘but this is the worst time for me to be off. There’s still so much to do, juggling all the meetings and groups while the works being done in the library, and we’re still trying to train new staff. Alice has been great but she’s still technically training and we also had Luke start just before we moved to the community center.’
‘I know,’ he replied, ‘but the world won’t grind to a halt just because you took the afternoon off. You need to think about this logically Cass. This is your first session with this therapist and you’re jumping right in the deep end. You just don’t know what stuff this is going to throw up from your subconscious, you may not be in any frame of mind to work later.’
‘We’ll see,’ she finally conceded.
‘Miss Grayson?’ a pleasant voice called out across the waiting room.
Cass stood and hiked her purse up on her shoulder, giving the woman a weak smile as she followed her into the room, with Jackson behind her. The closer she got to the door the more her palms started to sweat. Rubbing them dry on her skirt, she reached behind her and relaxed as she felt Jackson’s fingers tangle with hers.
‘Come in please,’ the woman turned and smiled to both of them. ‘I’m Gabriela Rosario,’ she reached out and shook each of their hands warmly.
‘Cassandra,’ Cass nodded, ‘and this is Jackson. Is it alright that he’s here?’
‘It’s whatever makes you most comfortable Cassandra,’ she smiled warmly, extending her hand and indicating the two plush chairs and couch in front of them. ‘Why don’t you take a seat.’
‘Thank you for seeing me on such short notice, Dr Rosario,’ Cass took a seat on the sofa with Jackson next to her.
‘Please, it’s Gabriela, I want you to feel completely comfortable with me,’ she replied, ‘and it’s no trouble. I believe Dex informed you that he had disclosed certain information about your situation and the ongoing case to me.’
Cass nodded.
‘I want you to understand that although I am affiliated with the department I am not bound by them. Doctor patient confidentiality is still paramount. Nothing you say to me here will leave this room without your express permission, okay?’
Cass nodded again.
‘As I said earlier Dex has filled me in on your personal circumstances with your family, but I would like to hear it in your own words.’
‘I don’t even know where to begin,’ Cass shook her head.
‘That’s okay,’ Gabriela smiled softly, ‘that’s perfectly normal. I imagine you’ve got a lot going on in your head right now; it’s bound to be a bit confusing, but if it helps, don’t think of it as a river flowing in only one direction. You needn’t start at the beginning and see it through to the end. Start wherever you want, with the first thing that pops into your mind. You’ll find that’s usually the thing that is bothering you the most, the rest will flow from there at its own pace.’
‘I’ve been having these dreams,’ Cass began softly.
‘Tell me about them,’ Gabriela sat back more comfortably in her chair, crossing her legs.
‘I’m in my bedroom in our old house in Glen Cove, my music box is playing. I know it’s late and I’m supposed to be asleep but I’m playing with my doll Angelique. She was always my favorite; she had long blonde hair. I’m sitting there brushing her hair but when I look down the doll’s head is bleeding. The next thing I know the dream jumps and I’m locked in my mother’s room, crying and banging on the door. My nightgown is torn and covered in blood.’
‘I see,’ she mused, ‘how often do you have this dream?’
‘Lately, every time I go to sleep,’ Cass frowned, ‘but every time I do I remember more details.’
‘When did the dream start?’
‘After my mother’s death, I mean I’ve had the dream on and off over the years but it really started after mother died.’
‘Did you always refer to her as mother?’ Gabriela asked curiously, ‘never mom or mommy?’
‘She didn’t like it,’ Cass shook her head, ‘it was mother or she wouldn’t answer us.’
‘Okay then, let’s go back to the dream,’ she directed her back. ‘Was the blood yours?’
‘No,’ she frowned, ‘I don’t think it was. I think it might have been my father’s.’
‘What makes you say that?’
‘The dream,’ Cass murmured, ‘it’s of the night my father died.’
‘Are you sure?’ Gabriela asked. ‘It may just be a dream, a manifestation of your mind trying to give you a rational explanation for something that obviously traumatized you.’
‘No,’ she shook her head, ‘I remember fragments of that night. I remember sitting in my bed brushing Angelique’s hair. I was supposed to be asleep but I wasn’t tired. I know it was late because it was dark outside. I remember mother locking me in her room and me banging on the doors, screaming for Chloe.’
‘You were taken to a therapist after this happened, is that correct?’
‘It wasn’t until a few years after it happened. For a long time I couldn’t remember anything, it was just one big blank and then slowly I started having nightmares and panic attacks. It was after that they took me to a therapist, or what I thought was a therapist. Turns out she was a fake.’
‘Kayley Marsden,’ she nodded, ‘a.k.a Dr Marshall, I read the file on her. Dex seems to think they tampered with your memories.’
‘That’s what I was told,’ Cass replied. ‘Is it possible? Could she have done it?’
‘It is possible but there are so many variables to take into consideration. However, given that you were so young, clearly traumatized and also being medicated, I’d say yes. It probably wouldn’t have taken much. Your mind was already trying to repress the memories. All they would have had to do is give a little nudge, a little subconscious suggestion, but it’s not an exact science. I’d say, because of everything that has happened recently, your memories are trying to resurface on their own.’
‘I’ve heard that you’ve done hypnotic regression with patients before,’ Cass replied. ‘Is that true?’
‘Yes, it is,’ she nodded, ‘but it’s not right for everyone. I wouldn’t suggest it for you, not in a first session and as your memories are trying to break through on their own you might not even need it.’
‘But I want to know.’
‘I know you do Cassandra,’ she replied sympathetically, ‘but these things take time. You have to understand, taking you too deep too quickly could be just as damaging for you mentally. Your mind repressed those memories for a reason; you may not like what you see.’
‘Time is something I don’t have,’ Cass murmured. ‘Gabriela I understand what you are saying and I’m not taking this lightly, but there is a murderer on the loose. One who has already broken into my apartment, my place of work and we think has killed at least four people. All of this has something to do with that night, I have to know what I saw and I have to know what happened.’
Gabriela studied her carefully.
‘As I said I wouldn’t normally take someone back for full on regression therapy on the first appointment, it takes time to build a rapport and trust between doctor and patient. However, I will admit your circumstances are somewhat unique. I will offer you a compromise, but there are conditions.’
‘Okay,’ Cass replied slowly, waiting for her to continue.
‘Firstly, if I agree to do this, I want to see you for weekly appointments for at least the first three months, after that we’ll review. I will take you back as an impartial observer only, but if at any point you become distressed, I will pull you out regardless of whether you have seen what you need to or not.’
‘Alright,’ Cass agreed.
‘Jackson, if you wouldn’t mind moving to the chair please.’
He moved as he was told; although he remained quiet his expression betrayed his concern.
‘She’ll be fine,’ Gabriela patted his arm reassuringly, ‘I will be in complete control. I won’t let her stray too deep. We’re just going to dip our toes in, so to speak, see how quickly and easily it comes to the surface.’
He nodded slowly, still not entirely convinced but knowing that no matter how hard it was for her to see, she needed, for her own peace of mind, to know the truth of what really happened that night.
‘Okay Cassandra,’ Gabriela smiled comfortingly, ‘lay back and make yourself comfortable. It’s important for you to relax as much as you can, you are perfectly safe. You also need to be prepared for the fact you might not see anything at all. Depending on how deeply repressed those memories are, we might not be able to access them until we’ve had a few more sessions okay?’
Cass nodded slowly as Gabriela closed the blinds to dim the early morning light in the room. Opening the door she moved the sliding sign on her door to the ‘hypnotherapy in session do not disturb’ plaque. Stepping back into the room and closing the door, she picked up a small a remote and suddenly the room was filled with relaxing music, something low and tinkling with the sound of soothing water.
‘Cassandra,’ Gabriela began her voice dropping lower, ‘we’ll begin in just a moment but it is important for you to know, contrary to popular belief, hypnosis is not a state in which you can control another person against their will. You will at no point lose consciousness, or be unable to recall anything we have discussed. Hypnosis is a deep, meditative state of relaxation which allows you to access your subconscious mind, the place where all our dreams and memories are stored, without your active mind getting in the way. But at any point you can open your eyes and be fully alert okay?’
She nodded again.
‘When you are ready I want you to close your eyes,’ she began in a low soothing voice, ‘and focus on your breathing…’
Jackson sat quietly, barely daring to breathe in case he disturbed them and endlessly fascinated with the process. He watched while Gabriela took Cass through focusing on her breathing, followed by relaxing all the muscles in her body. It was strange but he could visibly see her body relax into the couch, in a dreamy kind of lassitude.
‘You’re standing on the escalator Cassandra and you’re descending, lower and lower, deeper and deeper. The deeper you go the more your body will relax. Now, in a moment you are going to reach the bottom and as you step off and you will find yourself in front of a door. Can you see the door?’
‘Yes,’ Cass murmured, her voice slightly deeper and relaxed.
‘Good, now reach out and open the door Cassandra.’
She waited a few seconds.
‘Where are you?’ she asked softly.
‘I’m in my bedroom,’ she whispered, her voice high pitched and breathless like that of a child. ‘I’m supposed to be in bed, but I can’t sleep.’
So, she went straight to her recurring dream, Gabriela thought silently. Her memories were obviously very close to the surface. She had been right, her mind was trying to recover the memories of that night; she would have to be extremely careful.
‘Cassandra, remember you are there as an observer only, take a step back.’
She waited another couple of seconds watching as Cass’s expression relaxed.
‘Why can’t you sleep?’
‘Because they are arguing and it’s keeping me awake,’ her voice had deepened and returned to normal.
‘Who’s arguing Cassandra?’
‘My parents,’ she replied.
‘Do you know what they were arguing about?’
‘Mother didn’t want to come back from the lake house early, but daddy had to meet someone.’
‘Who?’
‘I don’t know. When we got home he left us there with mother and he left again. He was gone for hours. Chloe and I had already been sent to bed before he came home. I couldn’t sleep because it was summer and it was so hot. My window is open but the air is so still and heavy. My nightgown keeps sticking to my body because I’m so sweaty. I wanted a drink of water,’ she unconsciously frowned. ‘I went to fetch a glass and that’s when I heard them shouting.’
‘What were they saying?’
‘Mother said we were all going to be ruined, we were going to lose everything.’
‘Did you hear anything else?’
Cass shook her head, ‘I didn’t want to hear anymore, so I went back to my room. I was sitting on my bed playing with Angelique; I guess I must’ve fallen asleep. When I wake up, hours have passed, my night light is on and I can see my Minnie Mouse clock. Chloe has been teaching me to tell the time.’
‘What time is it Cassandra?’
‘It’s two o’clock,’ she replied. ‘I woke up and daddy was sitting on my bed watching me. Stroking my back, he leans closer to me and I can smell his breath. It smells like the drink Mother likes, I don’t like it. His weight is pressing me into the bed. He’s too heavy, I can’t breathe. He’s crushing me. I don’t like it, I can’t move. He’s hurting me.’
‘Cassandra,’ Gabriela told her firmly as she started to become agitated, ‘you’re an observer only. Take a step back, he can’t hurt you.’
She watched as Cass’s breathing once again slowed and she relaxed into the couch.
‘I hear my nightdress tear and I know mother will be mad at me. I can hear his belt buckle and I think he’s going to whip me like mother does when he’s not home but he’s still pressing me down into the bed. I’m crying now because he’s pinching me. I can feel the skin on the inside of my thighs starting to bruise. I can’t move, he won’t let me move and all I can smell is the nasty drink on his hot breath blowing over my face.’
‘Cass, take a step back,’ Gabriela warned, as she heard Cass’s breathing speed up and her voice become slightly more panicked.
‘There’s someone behind him. I can’t see because he’s pinning me down, but I hear the sound of his head crack open. It sounds wet; I can feel the hot blood on my face and in my eyes. I blink but I can’t see; everything is blurry. He’s so heavy; his whole dead weight is crushing me. His blood is trickling down onto my skin, it’s so sticky. I can’t breathe, he’s too heavy but suddenly I feel someone pushing at him. I wriggle out from underneath him, leaving him lying across my bed, my white sheets now stained with his blood.’
‘Who is in the room with you Cassandra?’ she asked.
‘No,’ Cass shook her head, ‘I don’t want to see.’
‘Cassandra, look up and tell me who is in the room with you.’
Cass suddenly pulled in a massive gasp of air and sat bolt upright, her eyes wide open in shock.
‘Cass!’ Jackson jumped out of his chair and was instantly by her side, holding her trembling body.
‘I saw,’ she gasped against his shoulder.
He pulled back slowly, cupping her face as he stroked her skin comfortingly. ‘What did you see?’
‘Chloe,’ she whispered her tear-filled eyes wide with horror, ‘Chloe killed him…’ he could hear the utter devastation in her voice, ‘she did it to save me.’
‘He’s not going to want to see me,’ Irina replied miserably as she climbed out of the car and looked up at the apartment building. ‘Is this where he’s been staying?’ she asked with an unconvinced expression.
‘Yes, it is,’ Dex climbed out of the car and joined her on the sidewalk, ‘and yes he will want to see you.’
‘He’s going to hate me.’
‘No, he’s not,’ Dex took her arm and steered her toward the main door. ‘This is Jackson we’re talking about, you know what he’s like.’
‘I used to think I did,’ she sighed as they moved through the tiled entrance hall and started climbing the stairs, ‘but so much has changed recently.’
