The Carter Legacy: 3 Book Box Set, page 38
‘I really fucked up this time,’ he replied in resignation.
Dex stared down at the corpse of Joanna Williams, sprawled face down on a massage bed, her naked body covered by a fluffy white towel. Her hands were folded neatly by her head; her face nestled comfortably in the cut-out section of the padded table. Nothing would have seemed amiss if it hadn’t been for the back of her head being bashed in and her blonde hair saturated with partially dried blood.
‘Jesus,’ Dex scratched his chin. He kneeled down and peered under the table at her face poking through the cut out. Her expression was serene and relaxed; it would have looked as if she were just taking a nap if it wasn’t for the dark purple discoloration of her face. When her blood had stopped pumping it had pooled at the lowest point, thanks to gravity, and unfortunately for her, being on her belly, that meant her face.
‘Lividity has set in I see,’ Dex remarked standing back up. ‘We got a time of death yet?’
Dr Lucas looked over at him as she pulled a thermometer from the body.
‘Rigor Mortis is starting to set in too and I’ve checked the liver temp. I’d put my best guess right now at about two and half hours ago.’
Dex looked over at the CSI who was placing a hammer into an evidence bag.
‘That the murder weapon?’ he asked.
The guy looked up and nodded.
‘So, someone brought a hammer to a massage,’ he replied, ‘not a crime of opportunity then.’
‘Dex,’ Frank re-entered the crime scene.
‘Yeah?’
‘There’s no security cameras back here because of privacy regulations,’ he replied. ‘They’ve got a whole bunch of trainees in today, so lots of unknown faces for the regular staff. I’ve spoken to the woman who was supposed to give the vic her massage, she over ran on another appointment. She told one of the students to get Ms Williams ready and she would be along as soon as she was finished. By the time she got to her, she was dead.’
‘Do we know who the student was?’
Frank shook his head, ‘she’s disappeared, but one of the other trainees described her as medium height, slim build and dark haired, which unfortunately describes half of them. I’ve got her sitting with a sketch artist at the moment.’
Dex nodded.
‘We need to get access to Joanna’s apartment,’ he mused. ‘It’s too much of a coincidence that her terminally ill husband is murdered and less than a few weeks later she’s dead too.’
‘Not as subtle as the husband though,’ Frank noted.
‘No, you’re right,’ Dex agreed, ‘she’s devolving. If it is the same woman she put a lot of patience and thought into killing Coop and framing Cass. With Elizabeth Carter and Bryce Williams she went to a lot of trouble to get her hands on Potassium Chloride, she wanted them to suffer, but the trashing of Cass’ apartment and Joanna’s murder, that’s a hell of a lot of rage, her control is slipping.’
‘We need to find her before she hurts anyone else,’ Frank scowled, looking down at Joanna and shaking his head. ‘Jesus, she didn’t even see it coming,’ he murmured.
‘Sometimes that’s a blessing,’ Dex shook his head, ‘at least she didn’t suffer like Elizabeth and Bryce did.’
‘Let’s get this bitch,’ his eyes locked with Dex’s.
Cass looked up as Iris handed her a steaming cup of cocoa. Taking it gratefully she wrapped her hands around the cup, which had a ridiculous looking cat wearing sunglasses on it. Iris sat down on the couch opposite and sipped her own as she watched Cass.
‘You ready to talk about it yet?’ she asked finally. ‘You might as well unload Cass,’ she told her bluntly. ‘I’ve been your family for the last six and a half years. I know how to read between the lines and piece together all the fragments of conversations we’ve had over the years. I not only have a fairly good idea of what’s going on, but I also have a pretty good idea of what happened to you when you were a kid.’
Cass blinked at her slowly and drew in a slow breath. She started talking and once she did she found she couldn’t stop. Everything just came pouring out, her mother and father, Chloe, the abuse, the murders, the mysterious Jessica, right up to the point where she caught Parker and Jackson talking about Cortex and Carson Evans. When she finally finished, she sat back feeling strangely lighter.
‘So, you’re pissed at Jackson because he didn’t tell you weeks ago that he suspected Carson Evans was behind the company Cortex.’
‘It’s not about being pissed; this isn’t about him leaving the toilet seat up or putting an empty milk carton back in the fridge. He lied to me.’
‘No, he didn’t,’ Iris told her bluntly, ‘he just didn’t tell you.’
‘That’s just semantics,’ Cass scowled, ‘a lie by omission is still a lie.’
‘That may be true in some cases but not this time,’ Iris shook her head. ‘In the grand scheme of things, keeping this from you until he was certain is not a cardinal sin.’
‘Since when are you his biggest fan?’ she grumbled.
‘Since he proved himself to me,’ she replied, placing her empty mug down on the coffee table. ‘Saul can’t speak highly enough of him and his work ethic, especially considering the money and background he came from. When he needed money for food and rent, did he go begging to friends and family for handouts? No, he took care of business. He did the job and did it well, never once complaining that the job was beneath him. Did you know he asked Saul to teach him how to work with wood so he could make something special for you?’
‘He did?’ Cass asked quietly.
‘Yes, he did. Saul is notoriously hard to please but he adores that boy,’ she continued, ‘and not only that he stood by you from day one. Even when you were accused of murder he didn’t even entertain for one second the fact that you might’ve done it. He stayed with you through all of this; at any point he could’ve just turned around and held up his hands saying, ‘it’s too much,’ and gone and stayed with his brother or his best friend, but he didn’t. He stayed because you are important to him. He has shown you more loyalty in the short time you’ve known him than anyone in your life.’
Iris stopped and watched Cass carefully, seeing she was getting through to her and trying not to push too far, too fast.
‘Do you love him?’ she asked gently.
‘Yes,’ Cass whispered, ‘I do love him, but how can I build a life with him if I don’t trust him.’
‘You do trust him,’ Iris replied, ‘you wouldn’t have let him this far into your life if you didn’t. You need to admit what this is really about.’
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ she replied stiffly.
‘Yes you do Cass,’ Iris replied pointedly. ‘You’re many things but stupid is not one of them. This isn’t about Jackson lying to you, or you not trusting him, this is about shame, pure and simple. You ran from him because you’re ashamed that he knows what your daddy did to you.’
Cass felt her heart jolt in her chest, her voice catching in the back of her throat as she looked at the one woman who was the closest thing she’d ever had to a real mother.
‘He doesn’t just know,’ she whispered, ‘he saw,’ her eyes filled with tears. ‘He saw what he did to me; how can he ever look at me the same way again?’
‘Seems to me you’re not giving the boy enough credit.’
Cass shook her head.
‘I’m just being realistic,’ she replied miserably. ‘We haven’t known each other long and yes okay, it felt like cupid had smacked us both around the head with a baseball bat, never mind a damn arrow, but it’s not a solid enough foundation, not for this. It’s a lot to ask of anyone.’
‘Yes, it is,’ Iris replied, ‘but sometimes it happens that fast. Sometimes you meet someone and just know. Don’t throw that away because you’re afraid, I made that mistake and I’ve regretted it every day of my life.’
‘What?’
‘You don’t think I’ve been a bitter old spinster my whole life, do you?’ she smiled wistfully. ‘I was young and stupid once too you know; I met someone, such a long time ago now. We were from different religions, different backgrounds, something I thought was too big, too insurmountable. He didn’t care, but I wasn’t brave enough. Years later, when I was older and wiser I realized I had made a huge mistake and what I thought was so important at the time, really wasn’t at all. By then it was too late, too much time had passed.’
‘Iris,’ she whispered.
‘Look I didn’t tell you for sympathy, I’m telling you to stop you from making the same mistake I did,’ she replied. ‘You are so much stronger than you think you are Cass. You survived what your father did to you, you survived losing your sister, you’ve survived your bitch of a mother; you and Jackson can make it through this, but you need to be honest with each other.’
‘That simple huh?’
‘Nothing’s ever simple,’ she answered, ‘not when it comes to relationships, and it’s never perfect. What matters is that you care enough to try. You need to go home to your man, you need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel. If it makes you feel better you can even give him an out, tell him he’s free to leave if he wants, but I guarantee he won’t.’
‘What if he does?’
‘Then he’s not the man I hope he is,’ she leaned over and patted her hand affectionately. ‘Don’t throw away the best thing in your life Cass, not because of fear.’
‘I love you Iris,’ Cass told her softly.
‘Ah, go on with you,’ she replied gruffly, her cheeks pinking, ‘go and get your man.’
Jackson paced the apartment, trying her phone again. When it just went to voice mail he growled angrily and tossed the phone down on the couch. It wasn’t that she’d disappeared on him, it wasn’t even that she was mad at him and needed space, he got that, but ever since Dex had called him and told him what happened to Joanna Williams, all the worst-case scenarios had run through his mind on permanent repeat.
When he finally heard the apartment door open and close, he breathed a sigh of relief and for the first time in hours the knot of unease in his gut unfurled.
‘Cass?’ he called out to her.
‘Yeah it me,’ she appeared in the doorway, dropping her purse on the table and her keys in the bowl.
‘You okay?’
She nodded slowly, suddenly stopping as Iris’ words echoed in her mind. She shook her head.
‘No, I’m not,’ she admitted.
‘Cass I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Cortex,’ he shook his head, ‘I just…’
‘It’s not about that,’ she replied, she moved further into the room, knowing she needed to tell him the truth and not sure where to start.
‘The first time I saw you,’ she began, ‘I thought you were just another rich asshole.’
‘Thanks,’ he replied dryly.
Her mouth twitched slightly.
‘You had your back to me and you were mouthing off to your friend,’ she continued, ‘and I just figured, oh hell here we go. Then you turned around,’ she whispered, ‘and the look in your eyes when you saw me, it was as if you’d just seen your first ever sunrise. It was like time stood still; your eyes locked on me and I’ll never forget the way I felt in that one moment.’
‘How?’ he replied, his voice rough.
‘Like for the first time in my life someone really saw me,’ she replied, ‘and the first time you smiled at me, I mean really smiled, not the polite one you give business associates but a flat out, full on dimples extravaganza, I damn near swooned.’
His mouth curled.
‘Yeah that’s right, I used the word swoon, I didn’t even think it was a thing outside of really bad romance novels,’ she replied. ‘But my stomach did somersaults and my chest tightened, I thought I was having a heart attack. I loved the way you looked at me, like I was as necessary to you as sunlight.’
‘You are Cass,’ he told her, ‘nothing’s changed.’
‘Everything's changed Jackson,’ she closed her eyes painfully. ‘It’s one thing knowing what happened to me when I was a child, but what you saw you can never unsee and I’m scared that you’ll look at me differently now, that you’ll feel differently about me.’
‘I won’t and I don’t.’
She started to speak again but he held up his hand to stop her.
‘Look, I won’t lie to you; it was a huge shock to see. I can’t say it didn’t affect me, of course it did. Do I wish I’d never seen it? Yes, I do, I’ll admit it,’ he blew out a deep breath, trying to find a way to explain that not only could she understand, but that she could believe.
‘I do have feelings about it, I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t, but Cass those feelings are all directed at your father for putting you through that, and your mother for allowing it. To be honest Philip Carter is lucky he is dead, because if he wasn’t I’d kill him, in the most humiliating and painful way I could devise. I’m angry and I feel helpless that I couldn’t spare you what you went through. I’d give anything to go back and change things for you Cass, but you have to understand, nothing, absolutely nothing I could see, or learn, or experience will make me feel differently about you. Do you want to know what was going through my mind the first moment I saw you?’
She nodded.
‘It was like everything inside me woke up, like I’d been sleeping my whole life. It was like, there you are; I’ve been waiting for you.’
‘Jackson,’ she whispered.
‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he stepped closer to her. ‘I will do whatever it takes to get us through this. I’m not going to lie to you, it will be part of who we are, we can’t ignore it, but Cass it’s only one piece of the much larger puzzle of us. I want a life with you. If you need to, we can go to counseling together and I will be with you every step of the way, because when I look at you Cass I don’t see a damaged, hurt child. I see a strong, beautiful, loyal, funny woman, who’s sexy as hell and I want to get under me every chance I get.’
‘I want to believe that,’ she breathed in confusion.
‘You don’t have to believe, you can see for yourself,’ he reached out and took her hands.
‘You’ve put sex between us and made it an issue, when to be honest I thought we were pretty damn awesome at it. So, it’s time to put it back in its place.’
‘What?’
He gave a little tug, pulling her over to the couch.
‘We going to make love Cass, right here, right now and you are going to watch me the whole time and then you will see for yourself.’
‘I don’t know Jackson,’ she frowned.
‘This is a problem for you Cass and the longer we leave it and don’t address it the bigger it’s going to get. Without intimacy we can’t have a relationship and we can’t do that as long as you doubt what I feel for you,’ he told her gently. ‘You have all the power here Cass, you’re in charge.’
She was scared, not of him, she desperately wanted to believe what he was telling her, but the small nagging doubting part of her was still afraid he was not only fooling her, but fooling himself. He was right though, she needed to know, one way or the other.
‘Strip,’ she told him quietly.
‘Yes Ma’am,’ his mouth curved.
She watched him as he slowly stripped off his clothes until he stood in front of her absolutely bare ass naked then he dropped down onto the sofa, completely at ease with his body and sitting comfortably as he watched her.
‘Your turn,’ he challenged.
She did as he asked. Slowly, piece by piece, she peeled her clothes off, watching the heat flare in his eyes as she revealed more and more of her creamy skin. Her eyes dipped to his lap, there was no way he could fake that kind of arousal and something inside her slowly began to relax as her confidence began to return. This was Jackson, they’d made love dozens of times and every time it had been nothing short of toe curling. She could do this.
Finally, she stood in front of him as naked as he was.
‘Come here,’ he reached for her.
Her hands locked with his as he drew her down into his lap so she was straddling him, she leaned in and their mouths met with soft lips and a tangle of tongues. Her arms wrapped around his neck, one kiss and she was drowning in him, the press of their naked skin as comforting as it was arousing.
‘Cass,’ he breathed against her mouth, ‘let me touch you.’
‘Yes,’ she whispered taking his lips again.
Her back arched sinuously like a cat as he stroked the length of her spine, causing her to tilt her hips pressing them together more intimately. He groaned into her mouth as she continued to rock against him, igniting a delicious friction between them.
She pulled back as he cupped her breasts, drawing lazy circles against her skin. She shifted and slowly sank down on him, watching as his eyes flashed with arousal and desire, a deep groan rumbling in his chest as his fingers dug gently into her hips. As she began to move, her eyes rolled back and she arched her back again.
‘Cass,’ he gasped, ‘look at me.’
Her eyes locked once again with his, the golden amber of his eyes deepening. She could read his face so easily, as they moved together and she realized what he had been trying to tell her. During this deepest act of intimacy there was nowhere to hide, everything they felt was written in their eyes, in every movement, in every touch. There was no purer honesty between them than at that exact moment, when everything was laid bare.
Everything was so intense; she could do nothing but feel him fill her in every way. She felt the tension in her body build and she knew he was holding on for her, so that she could take what she needed from him and in that moment the whole world stopped and she saw her future laid out before her, she just had to be brave enough to take it.
‘Jackson,’ she cried out as her body tightened and they both shattered in each other’s arms.
Dex blinked at the report in front of him as it began to blur. He picked up his coffee cup only to find it held nothing but cold dregs. He drank it anyway, he needed the caffeine. What he really wanted was his bed, he couldn't even remember when he’d last spent more than a few hours at his apartment but this case had him by the balls, there was something he was missing he was sure of it.
