Taking a step back, she groped behind her and sat down on a kitchen chair. She was becoming increasingly isolated. No one came around for coffee anymore, shared cake, got her some shopping, or went on an outing with her. She needed to change that. She needed money. And fast. And the sugar tin was the way forward.

  She went to get ready. Her desperation proving to be the launch pad that she needed to force herself back into society.

  22

  The first morning in a long time that Audrey went for coffee in the resident’s lounge, she was shaking like a leaf. Franny smiled at her and asked if she wanted tea or coffee.

  ‘Coffee please, Franny.’

  Audrey went to give Franny the 50p, which was the charge for a hot drink in the mornings.

  ‘No, you’re alright,’ Franny whispered. ‘I’m sure you’re in credit. Leave it for a week or so.’

  Audrey could feel her eyes filling with tears and she willed them away. Opening her mouth to give her thanks, she found she had no voice, so simply nodded.

  ‘Go through, I’ll bring it in,’ Franny urged.

  Turning, Audrey could feel her heart booming away but she had to get over her fear. After all, these women were her friends, she admonished. They might be gossips, but most of them had their heart in the right place and would be kind to her.

  She walked through to the lounge and headed for the nearest free seat, too scared to look up. Following behind her, Franny placed Audrey’s coffee on the table.

  ‘There you are, Audrey. I’d like to welcome you back. We’re all pleased to see you, aren’t we?’ Everyone called hello. But Franny wasn’t finished. ‘We’re all so glad you are feeling a little better. Depression is a terrible thing. But you’re amongst friends. Isn’t she ladies?’

  ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘Definitely.’

  ‘Of course.’

  They all called.

  Audrey was thankful to Franny for giving her a way out from any questions about what the matter had been, or talking about her gambling, or simply making things up. She smiled weakly at Franny, grabbed her coffee and let the conversation wash over her.

  By the time everyone drifted away, to do washing, or go shopping, Audrey was feeling a bit punch drunk. She was proud of herself for getting out but hadn’t achieved her objective yet and wondered how quickly she’d be able to put her plan in motion.

  ‘Want to come over to mine, Aud?’ Kath asked, looking at her friend keenly.

  ‘No, you’re alright,’ Audrey said. ‘I’m feeling rather tired now, you know?’

  ‘Okay.’ Kath had no option but to agree, but Audrey could feel Kath’s eyes on her as she walked away.

  By the third day of turning up for coffee Audrey felt more confident of achieving her real goal for going there every morning. Turning to Kath she asked where Emily was.

  ‘Oh, I don’t suppose you know.’

  ‘Know what?’

  ‘She had a stroke and she’s housebound for the moment. Carers go in every morning and evening.’

  ‘Oh dear, I expect she’s feeling a bit isolated. Believe me I know how that feels.’

  ‘Umm.’

  ‘Maybe I’ll visit her. You know, cheer her up a bit.’

  ‘Nice,’ agreed Kath. ‘Although others are going as well.’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t mean to imply that they weren’t. To be honest Kath it might help me as well. I know what it’s like to feel isolated and cut off from everyone. What with the depression, you know? Perhaps I can help myself as well as Emily. Anyway see you tomorrow.’

  Audrey walked over to her front door and let herself in. Leaning back against the now locked door she took deep breaths to calm her down. She’d sown the seeds, now just needed to put her plan into action.

  23

  Her first target was Emily. Audrey had been as good as her word and gone to visit the sick and elderly lady. She sat by her chair, asked her how she was and did she want a tea or coffee?

  Hearing Emily’s querulous reply that, yes please she’d love some tea, Audrey went into the kitchen. Once there she began to look for money. But first she filled and then clicked on the electric kettle. With the noise of that muffling her search, she began opening cupboards and drawers.

  She couldn’t find any money and began to panic. She had nothing left in her sugar tin at home and no food in her fridge or cupboards. She had convinced herself that the other ladies would do the same as she used to. The trick was to squirrel odd bits of money around the flat, just in case one needed to buy anything, or go anywhere, at a moment’s notice.

  Going back into the lounge she asked, ‘Do you take sugar, Emily? Sorry I can’t remember.’

  ‘No thanks, in fact I don’t think I’ve any in the house. I hope you don’t want any in your coffee?’

  ‘No, I’m good, thanks,’ and Audrey returned to the kitchen.

  That was it! What a blithering idiot she was. She forgot to look in the sugar tin. She picked it up from the worksurface and eased the lid off. Sure enough there was a stash of folded notes in it. Her relief was immense. She closed her eyes and held onto the counter as she became dizzy, lightheaded and swayed a little, not knowing if it was from nerves or hunger. She was really so poor that she couldn’t remember the last time she had a meal.

  ‘Do you want a biscuit,’ she called through to Emily.

  There was no reply.

  That’s what Audrey thought. The poor dear was as deaf as a post. Reaching for the tin again, she took half of the notes without looking at them, nor counting them and then put the lid back on the sugar tin. After stuffing the notes in her cardigan pocket she grabbed the two mugs of coffee and returned to the lounge.

  Audrey managed to sit there, sipping coffee and chatting for ten minutes before sneaking a look at her watch.

  ‘Oh my goodness, is that the time!’ she exclaimed. ‘Sorry, Emily, but I best be off. I’ve left a chicken cooking in the oven and it’ll be burnt to a cinder if I leave it much longer. But don’t worry, I’ll come and see you again. Take care, sweetie,’ she lied and with that she was out of the apartment and gone.

  Running home, she somehow managed to stop her hands shaking enough to get the key in the door. She stumbled into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Withdrawing the notes from her pocket she counted them. £100! That was far more than she’d ever imagined she would get and silently thanked Emily for being so old school. For being part of the generation that didn’t trust banks and would rather have money hidden around her home.

  And so, in her desperation, Audrey started to steal more money, just a little at a time, from her neighbours, under the guise of visiting those who were housebound. But it was still stealing. Even if it was to get money to buy food. And she was taking it from people she had counted as friends over the last few years. Most had as little money as she did.

  But she was desperate, and she knew where to find it.

  The money was normally in a tin in the kitchen.

  Just like her own, now full, sugar tin.

  24

  Now Audrey had money to buy groceries with, she continued gambling.

  After several losses, she found herself desperately moving around the house, with the flamingo in tow, of course, trying to find a ‘lucky spot’.

  Not that it helped much.

  Catching sight of herself in the mirror in the hall she hardly recognised the elderly shuffling lady she’d become. Because of her compulsion for gambling, she had no money for any new clothes and the old ones hung off her now. She’d lost a lot of weight and as a result her face had become sunken, with hollowed cheeks and a scraggy neck. Her hair needed cutting and all the colour was nearly gone leaving a big grey ring around the top of her head. She wondered if she could get enough money from anyone to buy a hair colour (she didn’t like to think of it as stealing). Maybe she should visit Emily again, she decided. She’d not borrowed (still in denial) any money from her since the start of this debacle. Just £10 would do. And then she could colour her hair and if she could find her scissors give it a cut herself, even if she just lopped the ends off.

  And so Audrey visited Emily again and went through the same rigmarole as last time. But this time there was a problem. There was no sugar tin and no money.

  Taking the drinks into the sitting room she said, ‘So how’s things Emily? Anything much been happening?’

  ‘You’re never going to believe this,’ she said.

  ‘Believe what?’ Audrey had a growing sense of dread.

  Emily looked this way and that, as if checking she wouldn’t be overheard, which was absurd of course as they were the only two in the flat. ‘Someone’s been stealing money!’

  ‘No!’ said Audrey, trying to sound and look suitably shocked, which of course she was, but for an entirely different reason. She held onto the arms of her chair, as she was feeling faint and was sure she was about to tumble onto the carpet.

  ‘Yes! Franny was telling me all about it the other day. A lot of people have been noticing that bits and pieces of money have gone missing.’

  ‘Has any money gone from you?’ Audrey was seriously having trouble continuing this conversation. All the blood seemed to have drained from her head and her vision was fading in and out.

  ‘Well, I’m not sure. I thought I had about £200 in my tin, but it turned out I only had £100. To be honest I can’t say if someone had taken half of it, my memory isn’t what it used to be, you know?’

  ‘I feel you,’ said Audrey and then realised how stupid that sounded. It was an Americanism that she’d heard on television.

  ‘Pardon?’ Emily looked confused.

  ‘Sorry, I meant to say that that’s awful, Emily.’

  ‘Well, yes, so I’ve moved my money now. It’s no longer in the sugar tin but hidden in a much better place. You’ll never guess where!’

  ‘No I hope I won’t,’ replied Audrey. ‘Anyway I must be off, Emily. Nice chatting with you.’

  Audrey turned and fled from the apartment. She didn’t stop running until she reached her own home. Once there, she fell through the door and managing to slam it behind her sank to the floor in floods of tears. Dear God, what was she to do? This couldn’t go on.

  But Audrey couldn’t see any way out. She couldn’t stop gambling. Which meant that she couldn’t stop stealing. Maybe she should start shop lifting. Steal some food from Waitrose. But then the thought of being caught and going to a police station made her heart stop. That wasn’t the way forward. So what was?

  Going into the lounge, she sat on the settee in a daze. Then her gaze fell on the flamingo. As she became mesmerised with the sunlight catching the exquisite casting of the brass, it came to her. She’d persuade her housebound friends to give her access to their bank accounts. She could go and do their shopping. But it would also mean that armed with their bank cards and pin numbers she could withdraw cash that they knew nothing about, but that Audrey could say they had asked her to get out and had obviously forgotten due to their bad memory.

  She smiled at the simplicity of her plan. Buoyed by the thought of the cash to come, she smiled at the flamingo and picked up her laptop. She was sure she had time for a few more games before tea.

  25

  Audrey was close, so close. She was playing roulette in the virtual casino. Having had no luck with the bingo lately she’d decided to branch out and try something else. The flamingo was glowing, so she was convinced it was the right thing to do. She’d had a few small wins, backing black or red and they’d added up. She now had £100 in her pot. She decided to put half of it on black. After all a 50/50 chance of black or red, were pretty good odds.

  She placed her bet. The wheel spun. The ball clattered onto the dish and rattled round and round. Audrey held her breath as the ball bounced. It landed on black. OMG she’d won!!! Then it jumped again and landed on red. NO!!!!! Bounce again! Go on, bounce again! Just one more time!

  But the ball didn’t bounce. It didn’t move. It stayed on red. The game was over and she had to watch the virtual croupier take her £50. For a moment there she had been convinced she’d won. She remembered the euphoria when she thought she’d got it right. That her luck was in again after such a horrible run of bad luck. The rush of endorphins had flooded her body enhancing the feeling of being lucky and winning. Which made the realisation that she’d lost much harder to take. She flopped back on the settee. Exhausted. The good feeling drained from her body and hopelessness took its place. It wasn’t her lucky day after all.

  Looking up she spied the flamingo. It was placed just so, and as the clouds thinned outside and the sun broke through, it glowed in the golden light spilling through the window.

  Audrey put her head on one side. Listening. The flamingo was urging her to put the rest of her money on… On what? What colour? Should she stay with her original bet of black? Or should she change it to red? But would red win twice? What were the odds of that? She needed to make a decision.

  The she saw it. Saw red in the sunbeams as they hit the flamingo. Thank goodness. A sign. It had to be red.

  She placed her bet. £50 on red. This was it. Her last £50. She crossed her fingers. Then her legs. Then her arms. Her eyes were locked on the screen of her laptop.

  PLACE YOUR BETS flashed on and off across the screen.

  Audrey waited. She daren’t breathe. She mustn’t do anything to jinx the bet.

  Then her buzzer went. The sound reverberated around the apartment. Someone was at the door. What the hell? She focused once more on her screen.

  The buzzer went again.

  Just leave me alone, she shouted inside her head. But whoever was at the door wouldn’t go away. Now accompanying the buzzer was knocking.

  ‘Audrey are you in there?’

  It was Kath.

  ‘Audrey answer the door!’

  Audrey looked up at the window and shouted, ‘SHUT UP! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!’

  But it was too late. Her concentration was broken. She turned back to the laptop.

  The game was over.

  Black had won.

  She had lost her £50 and it was all Kath’s fault.

  In a rage, Audrey jumped from the settee and opened the front door. ‘WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?’

  All her frustration was poured into those six words. How dare Kath? How dare she!

  ‘You’ve just cost me £50 you stupid woman!’

  Kath recoiled. ‘What? What are you talking about, Audrey?’

  ‘Look, just leave me alone will you.’

  Audrey started to close the door but Kath put her foot in it.

  Shocked, Audrey said, ‘What are you doing? I said GO AWAY!’

  ‘No I won’t! What’s wrong with you, Audrey? We’re all worried about you.’

  ‘I don’t care. I don’t give a toss about any of you,’ spat Audrey.

  ‘You… you don’t mean that.’

  ‘YES, yes I do! Now piss off. Or I’ll use this door to break your foot.’

  Kath looked down at her foot and then up at Audrey. She must have seen the determination written on Audrey’s face, as she removed her foot, allowing Audrey to slam the door closed.

  26

  Kath left Audrey’s door and ran straight to the Manager’s Office. Sobbing and sniffing she told Franny what had just happened. With soothing words and hot tea, Franny managed to calm her down as best she could.

  ‘Can you help her?’ Kath said. ‘Please say you can. She looks so awful and she’s nothing like the Audrey she used to be. I just don’t know what to do and so I thought maybe you would.’

  ‘I’ll go and see her,’ Franny assured Kath. ‘But I’ll leave it today and try tomorrow morning. Give her time to calm down, eh?’

  Kath nodded and expressing her thanks again, left the office to return home.

  ***

  The next morning Franny wasn’t looking forward to visiting Audrey. To be honest the visit by Kath yesterday and made her very uneasy. The realisation that a member of the development was so obviously ill worried her greatly. She should have kept a closer eye on the woman. Instead she’d turned away and hoped for the best. Clearly that strategy hadn’t worked so well.

  There was nothing for it. Might as well get it over with, she thought.

  It was with a certain amount of trepidation that she followed the meandering path through the gardens to Audrey’s apartment. She buzzed the intercom and then knocked on the door.

  Nothing.

  She tried again. No reply.

  Determined to try a third time she lifted her hand to knock, when the door opened.

  ‘Yes?’ Audrey said.

  Not exactly a friendly welcome.

  ‘Morning, Audrey,’ she said, a smile on her face that she fancied was more of a grimace. ‘I haven’t seen you for a while, so I thought I’d visit. How have you been?’ and Franny walked right past Audrey into the apartment, taking her off guard.

  Audrey followed her into the lounge. Franny perched on the edge of the sofa and Audrey sat in the high-backed wing chair.

  ‘So, how have you been? I must say we’ve all missed you. Are you well?’

  ‘Oh, yes, mostly, but I’m suffering badly from headaches at the moment.’

  ‘Oh dear. Have you been to the doctors?’

  ‘Yes, um, no. I’m going next week.’

  The conversation was rather surreal, meaningless. Franny noticed that Audrey kept looking at the flamingo which was on top of a small cabinet in the window.

  ‘It is a lovely piece that,’ Franny said, indicating the flamingo.

 

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