‘No, I want to get a casserole into my slow cooker.’

  ‘Ooh I love those, don’t you?’ asked Joan to no one in particular, and Kath left the others discussing the riveting subject of slow cookers.

  15

  Audrey had set herself up in the window, to take advantage of the sunshine. That meant she shared the top of the cabinet with the flamingo. Her laptop was open at last and logged into the bingo site. Today was her first day of playing in the whole of the site, not just the newbie room.

  To begin with, she stayed with playing games for £1 or less. She tended to win as often as she lost, but then, she realised she was playing safe. Upping her stake in games for £5, brought more winnings than losings and after two hours she was £150 up.

  By now the sun was rather hot, as it was shining through the glass, so she decided to move her laptop to the coffee table and settle comfortably on the sofa. After getting herself a cold drink, she started playing once again. And lost. And lost. And lost.

  An hour on and she had blown the £150 she had in hand. She was at a loss to know what had happened. Everything had been the same. The same games, the same tickets, the same amount you could win. So if everything was the same, what was different?

  Audrey looked across the room and saw the flamingo glowing in the window. That was the difference. Her location. And the flamingo. Deciding to test her theory she decided it was more likely to be the flamingo bringing her good luck, and it needed to be near her, not sitting in the window. She began to experiment and moved the brass object to the coffee table, next to her laptop

  And she won. And won. And won.

  When she was £100 up, she moved the flamingo to her bedroom, where it sat in splendid isolation on her dressing table. She went back to her laptop in the sitting room and continued to play.

  And lost. And lost. And lost.

  Returning the flamingo to the living room next to the laptop. She won.

  In the kitchen. She lost.

  She found that if she had the flamingo on the table near her laptop then she won more than if it was somewhere else in the room, or in another room altogether.

  So this somewhat unscientific experiment showed that the flamingo brought her luck, but it had to be close by, not banished to another room.

  Now she’d cracked the location, she was ready to up the anti. The amounts she had been playing for were quite conservative. Now it was time to play the big games. Bigger ticket games = bigger jackpots. My goodness it was like having her own personal money tree!

  Well, some of the time.

  16

  Over the next few months, Audrey never did hit the big-time wins, and if she’d been of a mind to, she’d see she’d had just enough wins to keep her interested. It was true that the smaller wins soon added up, so she could tell herself that she was in the black, not in the red. But of course she wasn’t. She might be up on the day, but she was down over the weeks and months she had been playing. The only benefit of her gambling seemed to be to keep her occupied.

  Sometimes in the middle of the night, when Audrey was feeling isolated from her friends and neighbours and trying to balance her bank account in her head, she could see that she was relying on her winnings too much. If she lost badly, then she would seriously struggle to pay her bills. She was behind on all the essentials; water, electricity and council tax. She kept trying for a good solid win that would wipe out her debts and leave her with a small lump sum. Surely it was possible. Others had won thousands of pounds, so why not her? But she was unable to replicate her earlier success nor emulate the big wins of those claimed on the website.

  So Audrey began to use her other sources of income. She’d already emptied her savings account. She cashed in her shares, even though she had to pay a high penalty as she needed the money immediately and the shares had fallen in value due to Brexit. The broker tried to impress on her that she really needed to hold onto them and not panic sell, but Audrey was determined to liquidate them. She had bills to pay.

  Finally the share money came through, but instead of paying her bills with the several hundred pounds, she lost it all on the bingo.

  The same thing happened with her ISASs and the rainy-day money her husband had left her. Audrey figured that as she was drowning in bills it was a rainy day in anyone’s book.

  And so a couple of months later, all her money seemed to have disappeared. She had no real idea where it had all gone. But gone it had. The money flowing through her fingers like water.

  Her laptop eating up every pound, shilling and pence she possessed.

  17

  Audrey found that she reached for her laptop when she got up in the morning and kept returning to it several times during the day and night. It was like a smoker, needing that first cigarette, or the drinker needing that reviving shot of vodka. Never having felt like this before, she was at a loss what to do.

  On good days (which had come to be defined by those with wins in them) she told herself she would have a day off the next day. Perhaps get out and about in the sunshine. See if Kath wanted a ride out somewhere. Re-join the land of the living.

  But the next day would come and she’d grab her laptop on waking and sit in bed playing bingo. It was becoming a habit she couldn’t break. An obsession she couldn’t see a way out of. She would regularly spend all day in the bingo rooms without being aware of the life going on around her on the development.

  There was a drawer in the kitchen that was a ‘no go area’. In it were hidden what Audrey figured were bills. She hadn’t had the courage to open them, but letters from the bank, electricity provider, water board and local council were sure to be about her non-payment. She couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d made a payment to any of them. She’d cancelled all her regular, automatic payments in the hope that when she had that big win she could make a dent in the money she owed. Her credit card was maxed out and her overdraft remained unpaid.

  She missed coffee mornings, lunches and outings. All the activities that she had previously enjoyed with the company of her neighbours, who had become her close friends. She was now isolated from them. Alone. Playing on-line bingo was a singular activity despite the message in the advertisements. Those showed people playing together, chatting online and laughing and joking and winning! But Audrey found the reality was very different. The games were so rapid that no one had time to chat. The pressure to keep up was great and the sites seemed to actively discourage chatting. After all they wanted your money. That was the central message. Not so you could find on-line friends.

  Audrey found she was using multiple sites. When she maxed out her cards on one, she signed up for another who was offering incentives.

  Lodge £10 and play with £30!

  Try our site and win life changing money!

  Join the No 1 site for bingo and casino games!

  She joined them all. None of them paid out what they promised.

  She shunned everyone, including Kath. When the ‘What’s On’ leaflet dropped through her letter box from Franny, she crumpled it up and threw it in the bin unread. What was the point? She had no money to pay for lunch. No money to pay towards a coach trip to the coast. Not even enough money to go for afternoon tea. When she received her pension payments, she used them to gamble online, not to pay for bills or outings.

  She wouldn’t answer her doorbell. She didn’t always take a shower in the mornings. Nor bother to get dressed. She was playing all day in her pyjamas, as getting dressed took too much time away from her laptop. Within the space of a few months her gambling had quickly spiralled from fun into obsession. She could not stop. She had to keep trying to win just one more time. Play one more game.

  She needed to win her money back and that took all her efforts and focus.

  Nothing else mattered.

  18

  Kath was beginning to worry about her friend Audrey. She seemed to have changed so much in just a few short months. It was when she was in the doctors, awaiting being called for her appointment, that she saw a leaflet about Gamblers Anonymous. It listed the problem behaviour that could indicate that someone was in the midst of a gambling addiction. She slipped it in her handbag to look at later at home.

  Once there, she made a welcome cup of tea and fished the leaflet out of her bag. What she read greatly troubled Kath.

  Are you a problem gambler?

  Try this questionnaire:

  Do you bet more than you can afford to lose?

  Do you need to gamble with larger amounts of money to get the same feeling?

  Have you tried to win back money you have lost (chasing losses)?

  Have you borrowed money or sold anything to get money to gamble?

  Have you wondered whether you have a problem with gambling?

  Has your gambling caused you any health problems, including feelings of stress or anxiety?

  Have other people criticised your betting or told you that you had a gambling problem (regardless of whether or not you thought it was true)?

  Has your gambling caused any financial problems for you or your household?

  Have you ever felt guilty about the way you gamble or what happens when you gamble?

  Unfortunately Kath felt that some of these descriptions did indeed spell out the way Audrey was behaving. The problem was that she didn’t know what to do about it. She needed to have a serious conversation with Audrey, but would that help, or make things worse? She didn’t want to fall out with her. She desperately wanted to help her good friend. But how? Maybe she’d take some advice from the development manager, Franny. Or the vicar. Or even the organisation who had prepared the leaflet, Gamblers Anonymous.

  19

  Audrey began to hate the flamingo that had brought her such joy and good luck. Now she felt it was bringing her all this bad luck. Perhaps if she got rid of it, she could return to normal. Become the person she used to be again. But what to do about it?

  Audrey looked around her apartment with newfound clarity. She saw the dust over every surface. She saw the crumbs on the carpet. She looked at her bedclothes which were grimy and grey. She looked down at her pyjamas, stained with food and drink. She looked across at her laptop which was connected to three different bingo sites.

  She shut down the laptop and went for a shower. Her first for many days – or was it weeks? Audrey decided not to dwell on that as she shampooed her hair three times and then slavered conditioner on it. Once out of the shower she found she didn’t have any clean towels and had to use one that had sat unused in her bathroom for far too long.

  After dressing in clothes that felt too big for her, she sorted her washing and filled bags with it. Looking in the cupboard under the sink she found she didn’t have any washing powder and would have to go and get some. Her purse contained £10. That meant she could get some food in as well. But first she had to clean.

  With renewed vigour she hoovered and polished, cleaned the unused kitchen and scrubbed the bathroom. As she went, she collected rubbish. Once finished, she found she had filled a black bin bag. Grabbing the flamingo, she pushed it into the middle of the black sack. Tying the top, she put her purse in her pocket and the bin bag over her shoulder.

  Opening the door into the Autumn sunshine made her squint and realise she couldn’t remember the last time she went out. Looking around and seeing no one she took one trembling step outside. She forced herself to take one more, and another and another. Focusing on walking she made her way to the large green rubbish bins in the corner of the development and threw her black bag into it.

  Turning away and determined not to look back, she crossed the main road to the local convenience shop.

  As the bell dinged on the door the girl behind the counter looked up. ‘Hey, Audrey, how’s things? I haven’t seen you in a while.’

  Audrey had to clear her throat several times before she could find her voice. That was another thing that was severely under-used. ‘Hi, I’m… I’m… good thanks,’ and she ducked away to the cleaning section. Grabbing the cheapest bottle of washing liquid she could find, she then collected a carton of milk, a loaf of bread and several tins of soup that were going cheap.

  She managed to have a limited conversation at the till, although it was rather stilted on her side. She mumbled something about not having been well, which the girl appeared to accept. Walking back to the apartment, she saw Kath walking towards the communal lounge. Ducking behind the bins, she managed to avoid her friend and once the coast was clear hurried to her apartment.

  She put away her meagre shopping and made a cup of tea. Carrying it through to the sitting room she went to put the television on. Anything to distract her from grabbing her laptop.

  The sunlight shining through the sitting room window was on the television screen. Audrey got up from the settee to close the blind.

  And that’s when she saw it.

  The flamingo.

  Sitting proudly, in its usual place, on the small cabinet next to the sofa.

  Defeated, and with trembling hands, Audrey opened her laptop and started playing bingo.

  20

  It took the best part of a month before Audrey had the courage to try again to stop gambling and get rid of the flamingo. Once again she showered, cleaned the flat, did her washing and bought some food. All the while her heart was beating nineteen to the dozen. Over and over in her mind she kept chanting: I’m going to stop gambling, I’m going to stop gambling, I’m going to stop gambling.

  She knew that a key part of her success would be getting rid of the flamingo. Okay so it came back after being thrown in the bin. She had no idea what had happened and to be honest it frightened her to think about it, so she’d been deliberately blanking it out. This time she clearly needed a better plan. Putting the flamingo in a canvas bag she had from one of the supermarkets, she cautiously opened her apartment door. She checked in her coat pocket that she had the pound coin she’d need for her plan and her keys in the other, then closed the door behind her. Determined not to turn around and flee back to her apartment, she once more concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. She was afraid she was becoming somewhat agoraphobic. She’d never had trouble leaving her apartment before, but now just the thought of the outside world made her break out in an anxious sweat.

  It was only a short walk to the bus stop and she’d timed her plan so she’d only be there for a limited amount of time. On cue she heard the rumbling of the bus. Taking a deep breath she stood tall and put her arm out to make sure the driver understood she needed to board.

  With a hiss of air and a squeal of the brakes the bus came to a rocking stop in front of her. She handed over her coin and purchased a ticket to the next town along the route. She then chose a seat behind the driver. As the bus pulled away from the stop, she stuffed the canvas bag under her seat. No one would notice it there, at least not for a while. It was hidden from the driver by the screen at his back and from the others on the bus as there were only a couple of men and they were right at the back. So it would remain undiscovered hopefully not until the bus reached its final destination of Gatwick Airport.

  Standing suddenly, she rang the bell.

  ‘You alright, love?’ asked the driver, shouting over the noise of the bus.

  ‘Yes, but I’ve left my handbag at home. Can you let me off at the next stop?’

  The driver laughed, ‘Course. Not to worry. It happens all the time,’ and the bus came to a sudden halt, making Audrey cling onto the pole and swaying with the rocking bus.

  ‘Thanks a lot,’ she managed as she scrambled off.

  Audrey looked up the road, watching the bus as it disappeared into the distance. There, that was done, she thought and turned to walk back to the apartment.

  It took quite a while as she had to admit to being rather unfit and her knees kept protesting by making strange clicking sounds. She was pretty euphoric by the time she put her key in the lock. Not only had she got rid of the flamingo, but she’d had a long walk and lived to tell the tale.

  She made a coffee and put the television on to watch the morning programmes. But before she settled down she checked the apartment. No, there was no flamingo anywhere.

  Audrey fell asleep half way through Homes under the Hammer and didn’t wake until the strains of the One O’clock News filled the room.

  The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes, was the flamingo.

  21

  Audrey was beginning to think she’d lost her mind. She was still gambling and still losing and couldn’t pay the mortgage. In the kitchen were all the letters she had received regarding her debts. The drawer was full of unopened letters and so was the carrier bag that she’d hidden in a cupboard!

  Audrey couldn’t face opening them. Not one.

  But worse was to come.

  The postman started to knock at the door. Audrey refused to answer.

  Then he started hitting the buzzer, wanting to talk to her through the intercom. Audrey refused to answer.

  He ducked down and shouted through the letter box. He had recorded delivery letters she needed to sign for. Audrey refused to answer.

  Finally Audrey watched through a twitching curtain as he disappeared into the Development Manager’s office. She was well aware that things were getting serious, but for the life of her she didn’t know what to do about it.

  She went into the kitchen to check how much money was in her sugar tin. Because of her money problems she’d started to take half of her pension money out of the bank just as soon as it arrived. The other half she paid into her credit card, so that she could continue gambling. There were no longer any standing orders or direct debits in place to pay her mortgage or her bills.

  Audrey grabbed the tin from the windowsill and took the lid off. Peering inside she saw she had a £5 note and some change. She went to tip the contents into her hand. It wasn’t going to be enough to buy any shopping with. But at least she could get some milk. She had half a box of tea bags. Her coffee jar had been empty for ages, but coffee was too expensive to buy today, at least any brand that was worth drinking. Then she stopped. That was it. Her sugar tin.

 

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