'Look out!' shouts Pollux suddenly.

  Slimeballs appear all around us. They gobble up some sheep then circle around, toying with us like a cat moving in on its prey.

  We try to run but the slimeballs block our way and start moving in towards us for the kill.

  'Relax,' says Tat, calmly.

  Relax! We're about to be massacred!

  The slimeballs move closer, squinting at us with their mean slanty eyes, slime drooling down from their fangs.

  I take a deep breath and relax.

  Bam!

  I'm in my fighter. We swivel to the left then back to the right firing torpedoes and lasers. The slimeballs explode, sending flaming slime flying in all directions. I click my fingers to teleport Tat and Nelly back to the safety of my house then go supersonic around Camillo mopping up the remaining slimeballs.

  'Thanks Em,' says Pollux. 'I've got to get a new moon.'

  Once Castor has appeared, I land the fighter on my front lawn and go inside to make a cup of tea, a strong cup of tea, with sugar and a just a little nudge of something stronger.

  Castor's kids, Hither and Thither arrive. It's wonderful to see them again. They're filling in while Pollux is waiting for his new moon. He's still with us, but now he's lost confidence in his moon, it's barely operational. There's not even enough oxygen in the cockpit for me to visit.

  'We're doing this as a favour to Dad, they were going to send Renard,' says Hither.

  'No, not Renard,' I say.

  'Yes Renard, but Dad wouldn't let them. We're standing in to help out, but we're not ready for the solitary life in a sentry moon yet, that's why we're in fighters.'

  'What would you rather to be doing?'

  'Partying,' says Hither. 'We're still got some wild-oats to sow.'

  It's hard to imagine a couple of hermaphrodite slugs sowing their wild oats. The mind boggles. Do they splash down in the primeval swamps on the prehistoric asteroid and hang out with Neanderthal slug?

  'Where do you sow them?' I ask.

  'Never you mind.'

  'Will you show me your yellow bits if I show you mine,' I ask cheekily, loosening my bra strap.

  'Ummmm, no,' answers Hither.

  I nearly got him!

  'Thank you so much for coming,' I say, and climbing onto their fighters, give each of them a big kiss.

  'Have you still got that black hole?' asks Thither.

  'I do,' I say, pulling Enzo out of my pocket. He's going to have to stay in his cage for a while, the less people that know about him the better.

  'Have you been practicing with your white rings? asks Hither.

  'White rings?' I ask.

  'Remember, we gave you some white rings to practice with.'

  I can't for the life of me remember. Motherhood has frazzled my brain.

  'They're in the drawer by your bed, right at the back under that secret bar of Caramello,' says Castor.

  When I get home I look. The white rings have slipped my mind again, but I haven't forgotten about the secret bar of Caramello. It was so secret that I'd completely forgot about it; now I'm craving it. There's a rustling of wrappers and soon all that's left is a few crumbs. Number 2 kicks appreciatively, obviously a girl after my own heart.

  What will I call her? Emma-Lou and Sarah-Jane are my favourites at the moment, but I'm bound to change my mind. She can be Cara, as in Caramello, for the moment.

  Spring arrives and so does Cara. By the time she has fought her way out and found her way to my breast she's called Lillian Tsul Taylor. Zula's dad, Saleem, called me Tsul in the desert. It means lively one, which is fitting for the new arrival, she's full of beans.

  Janice moves into Azziz's river boulder house, which sits on a hillock behind his cafe. She has her baby, River Star, but as I'm struggling to cope with two kids while recovering from a difficult birth, I haven't had the time, or been in the mood to visit. I hope she's doing okay. I wonder what her baby looks like. Does it have a crown of spikes or is it an angelic demigod?

  17

  Castor calls me up to his moon in the middle of the night.

  'Wha, wa, wa, what's happening?' I ask, trying to gather my wits.

  'It's Annie, she's committed suicide.'

  'Oh no. Can we save her?'

  Castor is silent for a little while.

  'Okay,' he says. 'She's here.'

  'Where?'

  'Here, on Camillo. Give her some time to adjust; she's been through a lot.'

  I'm in no state to go looking for her, so I get back to not coping, and wait.

  There's a faint knock on my door three days later.

  Annie collapses over the piece of driftwood into my arms. She's skinny, soaked to the bone and covered with cuts and bruises. Her eyes are milky and distant and she is cold to touch, like she's dead.

  She needs help, I click my fingers and Freud and Dr Florence appear in my living room.

  Once Florence has got over the surprise, she says, 'Emily, how are you? Are the stitches holding? I'm sorry but I'm not a surgeon.'

  'I'm fine,' I say, lying. 'Me and the Lilly are alive thanks to you.'

  I make her and Freud a cup of tea and putting a hand on Annie, who's huddling in the corner of the sofa, say, 'This is my friend Annie, she needs help.'

  They help Annie to the bathroom and put her in a tepid bath.

  Freud comes out and says, 'We'll warm her up slowly. What happened to her?'

  'I don't know. She committed suicide. Can you help?'

  'I'll try. If I know what she has been through it will make it easier.'

  I click my fingers to send him up to visit Castor in his moon.

  He comes back half an hour later.

  'Castor says you need help.'

  'I do, but she needs it more.'

  Tat arrives a few minutes later and without saying anything, sets himself up in the kitchen and starts cooking up a big pot of soup. Jesus arrives a few minutes later, puffing and panting. He gives me a big hug.

  'Sorry I haven't been along. Azziz has gone on a bender on Zwingly, so I've been helping Janice. Can I help you?'

  'Please,' I say, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

  He picks up Nelly, who's been sulking in the corner, pooing her pants. He cleans her up and before long I hear her deep belly laugh coming from the bedroom. Just hearing it makes me smile.

  Freud and Dr Florence stay for two weeks. I might be at a bit of a low, baby blues or whatever you call it, but Annie is in a mess. She's quiet and unresponsive, not like her former bubbly self at all. Freud says that she ran away from home and fell in with the wrong crowd. They got her hooked on drugs then forced her into prostitution. She killed herself in front of a train after being attacked by a client. Once she arrived on Camillo she found her way to the bluff, sat there for a day, then jumped. Thither managed to fire a torpedo into the water as she fell but it was touch and go. She has shrapnel wounds and was knocked unconscious by the explosion. The cold water bought her round again and she swam around to my cottage, the waves bashing her against the rocks on the way. No wonder she's in a mess.

  Freud decides she needs further help and sends her off to the Betty Ford clinic on Zwingly.

  It's almost summer by the time I'm feeling on top of things again. Lilly has started smiling at me; such a little thing, but it makes all the pain, suffering, stitches and sleepless nights seem worthwhile. She's a little cutey. She has the same dark skin and hair as Nelly but big dark brown eyes that trap you at a glance. Oh, she is going to break some hearts! Nelly has taken a while to adjust to having a little sister. All the toilet training went out the door and I nearly went back to putting a nappy on her. Tat and Jesus have been a big help, giving her lots of love and attention and getting her happy again. Now she's fascinated by Lilly and tries to look after her, covering her up and giving her toys. Nel has taken to the doll that Janice gave her for Christmas and carries it everywhere, twiddling with its ribbon to get to sleep.

  My body has recovered; I'm even starting to feel horny again. I'm ready to let my hair down and I'm sure Annie is too. She's coming out, like it or not. I'm off to Zwingly.

  Castor has a word with me about contraception and puts a little coil thing inside my womb that he says will stop any unwanted babies.

  'I'll be good,' I promise him. 'I'll try to stay out of trouble.'

  He laughs, 'Like hell you will!'

  Janice comes too. She wants to show off her baby and is ready for a bit of action after Zenning it out on Camillo for a few months. We stay in her house on the beach. It's wonderful to be sitting under a palm tree listening to the swoosh of waves, with snatches of reggae wafting in on the breeze. She's hired two nannies and we express bottles and bottles of milk, just in case we don't make it home.

  Annie is looking great. She's beautiful anyway with her Indian complexion and long black hair but has been working out and her body is toned and positively glowing.

  She gives me a big hug and says, 'Sorry, sorry, sorry.'

  'You have nothing to be sorry about. It's wonderful to see you looking so good.'

  'I'm dead!' she says, positive beaming. 'We can be together forever.'

  I give her another hug.

  'Are there any tattooists on Zwingly?' I ask.

  'There's a couple in Port Royal and there's this new guy, a Rasta who turned up a few weeks back. He's from somewhere weird, Timbuktu I think. He lives just down the beach.'

  'Timbuktu, cool!'

  An hour later we're poring through the Rasta's scrapbook of designs while he smokes his sweet cigarettes on the terrace. I'm dead keen on a two headed dragon but Nelly keeps turning the page back to a little swallow, so the decision is made: a swallow on my right arm and a yinny-yangy thing between my shoulder blades.

  I try to talk Annie out of getting one, it seems a shame to mess up such beautiful skin, but she insists, choosing an Indian script armlet on her left forearm. I've got no idea what it means but the flowing writing will look really classy on her brown skin.

  'What does it say?' I ask.

  'Not telling.'

  The Rasta says that things aren't the same in Timbuktu. There's a lot of bad men, a lot of death. He was shot for not being a Muslim.

  'Cool,' he says. 'Now I'm in heaven.'

  I worry about Zula; I hope he's okay.

  The first couple of nights we stay in and chat and get the babies settled and used to the nannies, then we go partying. We have such fun. I've never really been bad before and I might not get another chance, I might grow up or something. One morning I wake up with these two gorgeous Italian guys, they're like love gods. Yes!

  I have breakfast with the girls.

  'Aren't your boobs killing you?' asks Janice. 'Mine are.'

  'They're just fine,' I say, and tell them why the Italian boys haven't joined us for breakfast. We laugh so loud that we get thrown out of the restaurant.

  We go dancing, we go surfing and we hang out with the rock stars.

  Picasso seduces me. He has me pose nude then paints me from head to toe in red. I don't need to ask Annie where she's been when she comes home painted a funny shade of blue the next day!

  Annie has a fling with James and breaks his heart. She lets me have the pleasure of slamming the door in his face when he turns up begging on the doorstep.

  We have jam sessions each Sunday, and sing until we're horse.

  When we start arguing about what month it is, we decide it's time to head back to Camillo.

  18

  I want a boy. I have Castor remove the magic spirally thing, then picking the day carefully, have Zula visit. It's so nice to have him in my arms; I don't want to let go. I want him to stay forever and be my man. I want the kids to have a dad. Then I twiddle with the necklace around my neck and think of Ijju. I squeeze Zula so tight I nearly crush him, then click my fingers and he's gone, just the faint odour of desert left hanging in the air.

  A few weeks later I go for a walk along the beach with Annie.

  'I'm pregnant,' I say.

  'Snap, me too,' she says smiling.

  'James?' I ask.

  'Hell no!'

  I study her face carefully then say, 'Azziz?'

  She smiles.

  'Yes!' I say. 'That's so neat.'

  I'm really happy for her. She's always fancied Azziz. I wonder how Janice will take it. I think she'll be cool; she's a girl who's lived life to the full.

  Finally, Pollux's new moon arrives, an SM7.

  'Worth waiting for or what?' says Pollux, when I go to visit him. 'It's got voyeurscopic vision. It's just like being there.'

  I know the feeling. He means wormoscopic vision but slugs can't say the word Worm without going all funny.

  Hither and Thither say goodbye and shoot off in their fighters to sow some wild oats.

  With a toddler, a baby and another one in the oven, life becomes a bit of a blur. It would be easy to say that we lurch from disaster to disaster, but there's so many good memories that I forgive the kids and Zula for everything. It's all Zula's fault for being so charming and thinking about me like he does. He had all the pleasure with none of the hard work. He'll have to make it up to me sometime; I'm going to make him pay!

  It's fun having Annie here and pregas too. I feel like an old hand, giving her pointers and advice. I keep saying to her to make the most of life before the baby arrives. Once it's arrived, life as you know it finishes, you never get to sleep again and become a slave to you baby. I suggest she goes back to Zwingly and parties for a while.

  'It was fun but I want to be here with you and look after my growing baby.'

  It's great having her here. Sometimes Janice brings River Star along and stays for weeks on end. It's wonderful with her around. She sings and jokes and does daft things. Like, instead of measuring the kids and making a little mark on the door post, she paints them from top to toe, squishes them against the wall, then prints their name and the date in big red letters that no one can miss.

  I need to get a bit organised. God's good at sorting out asteroids but he's just not around. I go to see Castor instead.

  'I want more people on Camillo,' I say.

  'You seem to be doing a pretty good job of populating it single handedly,' he replies.

  'My babies are going to need friends and schools and soccer teams and jobs when they leave school.'

  'What do they need jobs for?'

  'That's what people do,' I say, stomping my foot. He's being so difficult.

  'The problem is that once you open the gates, you loose control. When Zeus controls who comes and goes, like on Juno or Vespa, there's no problem unless the inhabitants start breeding, but once you get an emotional beast like a cow as gatekeeper, every time they see someone suffering or hear a sob story, the gate opens.'

  'I'm not a cow!'

  'Daisy is. Let's look at Panacea,' His screen zooms in on the Daisy's tiny asteroid. When I first visited, there was just her and a grassy meadow. The only company she had was a tree. But she got lonely and let in the Brazilian football team and their friends and families. Five years later, her asteroid is covered with high-rise apartment buildings; the only grass left being the soccer pitch.

  'I see what you mean,' I say. 'But Daisy's a cow, I'll be strict, I will keep Camillo beautiful.'

  Castor rolls his eyes to the heavens, 'Well, don't say I didn't warn you. You're better off like you are.'

  'I want people?'

  'Who, which people?'

  'Who's available?'

  The screens fill with people, with new ones showing every few seconds.

  'Who are they?' I ask.

  'Dead people; they're the people who have just died, like you did,' says Castor.

  'Good, I'll have some.'

  'You sound like a kid in a lolly shop.'

  'What's wrong with that?'

  'Nothing, pick some people then. You'll need someone who’s organised to keep order, like on Juno, there's Napoleon.'

  'I am organised,' I snap.

  'You don't want to talk to Jesus about this first?'

  'No,' I say, stomping my feet again. 'It's my asteroid, I'm in charge.'

  'You're in luck,' says Castor. 'A jumbo jet has just crashed. It's full of American families.'

  'Perfect, grab them.'

  'Where will you put them?'

  'Stop being tricky, just do it!' I screech. I'm not to be trifled with when I'm pregnant.

  Suddenly there's people everywhere on Camillo. They're wandering about like zombies looking battered, dazed and confused. I got my people; I just don't know what to do with them all. They've eaten all my vegetables and stripped the orchard bare. Having seen a few bolts of lightning coming from the other end of the beach, it looks like Jesus's garden is under attack as well. Janice and River Star arrive puffing along the beach, saying that the zombies have taken over the cafe. We barricade ourselves into my cottage and there's people outside, milling around waiting for something to happen.

 

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