A Courtship for the Amish Spinster, page 4
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Zeb got word the next day from his bruder, who’d heard it from Gideon, who’d been told by Eunice that her dat had agreed to their plan. He supposed an Englischer would have simply texted “We’re good to go,” but they weren’t Englisch, and no one that he knew owned a cell phone.
Correction. He’d seen some of the youngies in town with cell phones. Personally, he couldn’t imagine setting aside money for such a thing. The message from Eunice to Gideon to Samuel to Zeb worked just fine.
Things in his life were changing quickly. He now had a babysitter for his son, a new job guiding Englischers on tours and his parents’ relocation date had been moved up. Wow. When they decided something, they moved quickly. As his mamm had said the night before, “What’s the point in dragging our feet?” Deborah Mast was no one’s fool.
Zeb suspected she knew the longer they took to leave, the harder it would be.
He walked into the house to find even more chaos than when he’d walked out of the house at lunch. His mamm had pulled out everything from the kitchen cabinets and was putting a good portion of it in boxes. She was tackling the moving project like a woman twenty years younger. His mamm had kept in gut shape. She was fifty-seven, but she still seemed young to him. Except for her hands.
She smiled when he walked in. “Want some coffee?”
“I’ll get it.” Zeb turned in a circle. “Where’s the coffeepot?”
“Oh. Guess I packed it. What was I thinking? We’ll need coffee the rest of the week.” She began pawing through one box and then another.
“Don’t worry about it, Mamm. Water’s fine.” He fetched a glass, filled it from the tap and sat down at the table next to Josh. “Whatcha drawing, son?”
“A horse.” The horse in question had an enormous head and was taller than the house it stood beside. “I don’t think I have his ears right though.”
“Ears are hard,” Zeb agreed. He drank half the glass, then turned to his mamm. “I just talked to Samuel.”
“Your bruder’s home?”
“Ya, he’s in the barn.”
Josh popped out of his chair. “I need to show him my picture.” He dashed out of the room, made it to the front door, looked down at his empty hands, dashed back into the kitchen, grabbed the drawing and took off.
“A lot of energy in that one,” Deborah said.
“Indeed.” Zeb cleared his throat, ready to get this portion of the evening over with. It wasn’t that he thought his mamm wouldn’t approve, but she had strong feelings regarding his personal life and Josh’s. He guessed that was normal. “So, I think I have childcare worked out for Josh.”
“Oh, honey. That’s wunderbaar.” Deborah stared down into a box, found and retrieved the percolator coffeepot and put it back on the stove. With a sigh, she walked to the table and sat down beside him. “Tell me all about it.”
“Well, it was Samuel’s idea, actually, that I ask Eunice Yoder.”
Deborah clapped her hands. “Eunice. I’ve always liked her.”
He explained about the arrangement Eunice had with her dat, the impending move to Kentucky and the plan they’d come up with to help one another out of a tight spot.
“That’s what friends do,” Deborah chirped. “I remember you and Eunice hanging out together when you were both in school. At one point I even thought you might be sweet on her.”
Zeb laughed, though to him it sounded more like nervous laughter than anything genuine. His mind didn’t want to go there. He supposed that he believed that the mere thought of being interested in someone else, even in the years before he’d met Suzanne, felt like a betrayal.
So instead of talking about who he might or might not have been sweet on, he clarified, “This isn’t like that though. It’s purely business.”
“Business among friends.”
“Exactly.”
“Unless Gotte has something else in mind.”
“Uh-uh. Nope. Don’t start thinking that way, Mamm.”
“Okay. I understand.” She patted his hand, then winked. She most certainly did not understand, and they both knew it. Fortunately, she changed the subject. “I want you to know that I am aware how inconvenient this move is for you. I’m sorry that it’s happening now. I’m sorry we can’t be here for you and Josh and Samuel.”
She stared down at her hands, and Zeb saw—maybe for the first time—just how misshapen her knuckles were. Of course, he’d known that his mamm suffered from rheumatoid arthritis for some time, but he hadn’t really paid attention. He’d been too distracted by his own troubles.
Now he covered her hands with his, squeezing them very lightly. “It’ll be gut for you to be near your schweschder. And the doctor said that Virginia would be a smart move. Mild winters, at least compared to what we have, and less humidity than the southern states.”
“I suppose so. No clouds are so dark that God cannot see through them.”
“Bible verse?”
“Amish proverb.”
He thought that their conversation was over. He’d even pushed away from the table, but Deborah cocked her head and started to say something, then stopped, then started again. “Sometimes love looks different the second time around.”
Not this again. He really didn’t need this. He had enough on his mind without the you should be dating again lecture. And maybe if she’d met his gaze and wagged a finger his direction he would have just smiled and walked away.
But Deborah didn’t do that.
She stared at her hands, rubbing the fingers of one over the swollen knuckles of the other.
“First love is exciting. It’s nervous anticipation and long looks and nights tossing in bed wondering if you’re imagining what you’re feeling. I’m not saying it isn’t real.” She glanced up and smiled softly. “It’s as real as this table or my swollen hands.”
Zeb waited. He knew there was more. Best to hear her out now. She would have her say, and apparently the impending move was giving her motherly angst. As if she couldn’t put her advice in a letter or speak it into a phone. As if she needed to say this face-to-face. He wasn’t sure how he knew that, but he did. He’d learned to read people better since being married to Suzanne. He’d learned to give someone time to say what was in their heart.
“Second love though...well, of course we pray that it never comes to that. We hope and pray that the one we love in our youth will be by our side when we’re old. It didn’t happen that way for me. I was engaged to a very nice young man when I was only eighteen.”
Zeb nearly fell out of his chair. Had she said she’d been engaged to another man? He hadn’t heard this before. He knew that she was twenty-five when she’d married his father.
“He left the faith, or at least the Amish way. I couldn’t say whether he still follows the teachings of Christ. I hope he does. We lost contact after he moved—to New York City if you can believe that.”
“You’ve never mentioned this before.”
“You didn’t need to know then, but maybe...” She let her gaze drift around the kitchen and then finally land, softly land, on him. “Maybe you do now. I was hurt after that experience. Didn’t believe I’d ever fall in love again. Certainly never thought I’d marry.”
“And then you met Dat.”
Her worried expression morphed into the tenderest of smiles. “Not right away. And even when I did meet him, it took time before I would even consider the idea of love. You see, Zeb, I’d been hurt by the man who left.”
“He didn’t leave you.”
“Well. He left our Amish lifestyle—something I couldn’t imagine doing. When he left our community, our way of life, he also left me, and that was painful.”
“Wasn’t your fault though.”
“Of course it wasn’t, just as Suzanne’s leaving wasn’t your fault.”
He shook his head. “Different situation.”
“It is. It most certainly is.” She stood then, walked behind his chair and kissed him on the top of the head. It made him feel like a child. It made him feel loved and valued. “Just remember, son. Second love is different, but it’s every bit as precious.”
She kept talking, even as she once again pawed through a box of things she’d packed. “I wouldn’t change a moment of the life I’ve shared with your dat. I’m grateful for him, and for you and your bruder and Joshua. To think I might have missed out on all of that, because I thought love was supposed to be butterflies and puppy dog stares.”
Butterflies and puppy dog stares.
Those five words followed Zeb as he walked back out to the barn to tend to the horses. Is that what he’d had with Suzanne? Maybe it had started that way, but it had turned into a real love, a mature love.
And then that love had been yanked away.
His mamm might be right about second love, but personally, he didn’t think it was something that he would ever find out about in his own life.
He’d found childcare for Josh. He’d found a part-time job. One way or another, he would get a loan on this farm so that he could raise his son as he’d been raised, in the same place he’d been raised. But second love? Nope. He didn’t think so. He was pretty sure he was meant to be alone forever.
Chapter Four
The five Yoder women were seated in Eunice’s bedroom, supposedly helping her unpack. She’d unpacked the night she’d told her father about Zeb’s proposal. Still, her schweschdern had insisted on coming over the following Tuesday. Sarah, Becca, Eunice, Bethany and Ada were all squeezed into the twelve-by-twelve room. Plus, Lydia, Bethany’s doschder, and Mary, Becca’s doschder, were offering a steady stream of real and made-up words. Both girls would turn four years old in December. At the moment, they were using all the colors in the crayon box to create rainbow pictures.
Coloring pictures. How could they be coloring pictures already? Wasn’t it just the other day that they’d all waited at the hospital for them to be born? How could they possibly be almost four years old? Time was such a strange thing. Eunice often felt that some days lasted forever. Some nights were even longer. But the years? The years flew by.
They all seemed to be aware of how quickly things were changing, and so they’d decided to have a family meeting that morning. In truth, they just wanted to spend some time together.
Eunice loved getting caught up with her schweschdern. Though they lived fairly close to one another and saw each other at least once a week, it still felt like they didn’t have time together. Time to just sit and talk. Time to be together.
“How are you feeling, Sarah?” Becca was peering at their oldest schweschder closely, as if to detect any problem she might be experiencing.
“Being pregnant is wunderbaar,” Sarah admitted. “So far, at least. I pray it stays that way, but I remember how it was for you all, and I’m—”
“Older,” they all chimed in.
Everyone had been surprised and thrilled to learn that Sarah was pregnant. More than once she’d shared her worry that she wouldn’t be a mamm. She’d feared that particular dream wouldn’t come true for her, since she had recently turned thirty-two. And then—suddenly—she was. Noah had been so excited at the news that he’d nearly driven the buggy off the road when she’d told him.
Eunice loved that story.
She loved all of her family’s stories.
“Whatcha looking at, sis?” Ada poked Eunice’s foot with her own. She had an eight-month-old boy who was with his dat at the moment. Both Peter and Ethan were the cinnamon of Ada’s life. Ada was on a cinnamon kick, so it was the highest compliment she could give.
“This room,” Eunice admitted. “I can’t believe I’ve lived in this same room all of my life.”
“Sort of,” Becca said. She smiled at her little girl, Mary, who showed her the rainbow she’d drawn. Becca’s son, Abram, was seven months old. He tried to reach for the picture, but Mary plopped back down on the floor with the drawing and managed to keep it out of his grasp.
“He slobbers,” she whispered to Lydia.
Ada was apparently still thinking about what Eunice had said. “Remember when we all moved into the same room? When Aaron and Ethan’s house had that fire?”
Bethany started laughing, and baby Daniel reached up to pat his mother’s face. “The only way to get out of the room was to step over—”
“Or on,” Becca chimed in.
“Or on someone else.” Bethany rocked her son, a smile wreathing her face. “I rather miss those days.”
“I think we all do,” Sarah said. “Look at us now. Five girls. Four husbands. Five children—”
“And one on the way,” Eunice pointed out.
“And one on the way.” Sarah began to blink rapidly.
“Uh-oh. She’s spilling her feelings.” Ada jumped up and fetched her a tissue. “Which is way better than having a heart of rock.”
“Stone,” her schweschder mouthed, but no one corrected her. They were beyond correcting Ada’s misquotes. Sarah had even begun listing them in a journal.
“Back to you, Eunice.” Bethany cocked her head and gave her full attention to Eunice. “That was a very close call you experienced. I’d bought extra stamps so I could write you every day.”
“I was actually all packed and ready to go,” Eunice admitted. “How is it that my entire life fit into two small boxes and a suitcase?”
“It’s not as if we have a closet full of clothes.” Ada plopped on the bed. “When it’s time to hit the buggy lane—”
“Hit the road,” Becca whispered.
Ada wagged her index finger. “When it’s time to hit the buggy lane, Amish folk can pack fast. But how do you feel about everything, Eunice?”
“I’m relieved, I guess.”
“About staying, sure. But how do you feel about minding Zeb’s son?”
“Fine, I guess.”
“And you’re not...interested in him in a romantic way?” Bethany wiggled her eyebrows.
Which started all four of Eunice’s schweschdern talking about Zeb and laughing and insinuating that this entire situation was something that it wasn’t.
Eunice had to whistle to get their attention. “It’s not like that. Zeb was desperate to find someone to keep Josh. He heard that I needed a job, so he thought we could help each other out.”
“We’ll stop teasing, Eunice.” Sarah stood and arched her back. “But we’re excited about all the changes in your life. Our lives are centered around home—cooking and cleaning and babies. We don’t get out as much as you do. That’s why we have to live through you, little sister.”
Live through her?
Eunice’s life was the most tame of all of them.
Some days she had trouble keeping up with all of the changes in her family. Since Sarah had learned she was pregnant, Noah and his parents had made the decision to add on to their home. Ada’s and Bethany’s husbands were brothers, and the house on Huckleberry Lane had gone through quite a renovation in the last few years. Ada and her husband, Ethan, had made the decision to build a separate house, allowing Bethany and Aaron to remain in the original home with their two children. Becca and Gideon lived on the same property as Eunice and her dat, but even they were talking about building another barn.
It seemed as if only Eunice’s life had stayed the same.
Wake in the morning.
Walk out to the barn and work on her latest project.
Rinse and repeat.
They suddenly heard the sound of horse hooves, and they all went to the window—standing in birth order as they always did. Eunice automatically went to the middle of the group. She’d always been comfortable in the middle—two older schweschdern and two younger. It had seemed the perfect place to be. Now she wondered about that.
Perhaps if she’d been first or last she would have done something with her life. The middle was comfortable. She’d allowed herself to become quite content watching her older and younger siblings go about their lives. She’d become an observer and somewhere in the last five or even ten years she’d stopped participating. At least it felt that way now.
“Looks like he’s here, sis. Zeb, the handsome friend but not boyfriend, and his adorable son.” Bethany tossed her a knowing smile. “Why’s he coming by today? I thought you didn’t start watching Josh until next week.”
“Trial run,” Eunice explained. “He thought we should spend an hour together just to make sure everything will work out.”
“Ah.” Becca pulled Eunice into a hug and then they were all in one big jumble with their arms around one another, laughing and crying and assuring Mary and Lydia that nothing was wrong.
But it was as they were headed down the stairs that Sarah pulled Eunice aside. “You’re going to be fine.”
“I know.”
“Stop worrying.”
There was no point in denying it. Sarah had always been able to read her like a book. “Okay.”
It was when Sarah put her arms around her and pulled her close that the tears began to sting Eunice’s eyes. By the time she pulled away, they were coursing down her cheeks. Eunice could hear Zeb knocking on the front door, her nieces laughing and running, her schweschdern greeting Zeb. She could hear it all, but it was as if those things were happening very far away.
Sarah nudged her shoulder. “Worst fears.”
It was a game they’d begun playing long ago.
“Something terrible will happen to Josh, and I won’t know what to do.”
“That’s not even remotely possible. You can see Becca’s front door from here. She’s happy to help you. What else?”
Eunice only shook her head.
How could she put her biggest fears into words? It wasn’t just the two new jobs. She thought she could learn to use a cash register. She thought one child couldn’t be that hard to care for.
