A Courtship for the Amish Spinster, page 14
“You were never greasy.”
“I probably had oil or something under my nails. I do remember that I was already taking apart small engines. I had found something I was gut at, and I loved doing it. But that same hobby sort of made me a target. I guess.”
“That shouldn’t have happened.”
“We were kids. Kids can be thoughtless. But that’s not my point. My point is that we’re adults now, and maybe most of us are done with those kinds of foolish games.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning I’m ready to date again.”
Zeb stared at her, his mouth slightly open, his ears reddening.
Eunice realized her mistake and rushed to assure him she wasn’t trying to lay a trap for him. Gosh. He really did think women were just hanging out waiting for an instant family. “I’m not explaining this well. When I was telling Sarah about my date, she mentioned you.”
Now Zeb pulled in his bottom lip and refused to look directly at her, but still he didn’t speak.
“I told her, of course, that we were just friends.”
“Oh.” His eyes darted toward her and then away. “Right. Okay.”
“But it did start me thinking that no one knows me quite like you do.”
“We go back a ways.”
“Exactly. So maybe you’d have a suggestion about who I should date. I mean, my dat, he has the best of intentions. But he doesn’t really understand our age group. At least, I don’t think he does.”
“So you want me to set you up with someone?”
“That sounds more desperate than I’d intended. But kind of. Yes.” Eunice couldn’t believe she’d done it. She couldn’t believe she’d been so bracingly honest with Zeb. But then he was, for all practical purposes, her best friend. If she couldn’t be honest with him, then who could she be honest with?
And the fact that her heart did a little skip, like Sarah had described, well it didn’t mean that she necessarily cared for Zeb in that way. It could simply mean she was nervous. Or maybe catching a cold.
Finally, Zeb nodded. “Okay. Let me think on it, but I should be able to come up with a couple of names.”
“Whew.”
“Whew? What did you think I was going to say?”
“Something along the lines of, ‘Are you kidding? Are you sure? Have you lost your mind?’”
Now he smiled and shook his head. “You stumped me, for sure and certain, but I can tell you’re not kidding. And you seem to be sure this is what you want to do. You seem to have thought this out. Which means you haven’t lost your mind.”
She nodded, satisfied with his answer, and walked back to the stall door. Josh was now lying on his back, with a beagle pressed up against each side. “He’s a good kid,” she said.
“Yeah, he is.”
“How’s your counseling thing going?”
“Gut. I guess. I mean, I only go once a week, so I haven’t been back since you and I talked...but I think it’s helping.”
“That’s great, Zeb. I’m truly glad to hear it.”
“Want to hear something funny?”
“Ha-ha funny or sad funny?”
“Probably the second one.” He lowered his voice, even turned his back so that his words wouldn’t reach Josh. “I remember thinking, not so long ago, that you were the smart one because you hadn’t fallen in love. You hadn’t risked everything and then lost it.”
She watched him closely, trying to understand the meaning behind his words. Zeb was going through something. She was hoping it was a good thing, but was worried it might be bad.
“That sounds a little...bitter.”
“Yup.”
“And not at all like Do Not Fear.”
“I was listening to the sermon, and again—you’re probably right.”
“Which means we both are still learning, still growing. That’s a good thing.”
“It is.” He looked at her fully now, studied her, didn’t rush or speak or pretend he needed to do something else. And his full attention made her feel as if a dozen butterflies had been released in her stomach. It made her feel...seen.
Josh hopped up, claiming if he didn’t have a cookie soon he might actually die.
Zeb cleared his throat, stepped back and said, “I’ll get you some names.”
But there was something in the way he said it that made Eunice think he wasn’t entirely on board with her plan. And she had no idea why.
* * *
Zeb was continually surprised at how much Josh heard and understood. No matter what he was doing, or how distracted he appeared, the boy always seemed to pick up on what was being said around him. To Zeb, it often looked as if his son’s attention was a million miles away. Like today, when he’d been so excited about Ada’s animals. And yet, apparently he had still heard every word that passed between Zeb and Eunice.
How did Zeb know that? As Samuel drove home, with Zeb sitting beside him and Joshua in the back seat, Josh brought up his conversation with Eunice.
In fact, he leaned over the front seat and said, “You’re finding a date for Eunice?”
Samuel nearly drove the buggy off the road. Beauty tossed her head and maneuvered back into the middle of the lane.
“Sorry, girl,” Samuel said to the mare. Then he shot Zeb a look. “Is that true?”
“Pretty much.”
“Want to explain that to me?”
“Not much to explain really. Eunice said she’d been on a date with Lester...” Even he realized he’d said the name as if he were describing a snake in the grass. “He was apparently not her type.”
“That’s what she said?”
“Yup. I heard her.” Josh put his hands on the back of the seat and his chin on his hands. “I don’t understand why anyone would want to date. I mean, kissing and stuff? Gross.”
“Give it a few years, Josh. You’ll change your opinion on that.”
“Hopefully more than a few,” Zeb murmured.
“We both like Eunice. In fact, I think she’s swell. Why don’t you just ask her out, Dat? That would be way easier.”
“Ya, bruder. Why don’t you just ask her out?”
Zeb was surprised to find he wasn’t as irritated by this conversation as he might have been a week ago. “She didn’t ask to go out with me,” he explained. “She asked for the names of one or two guys who I thought would be a good match for her.”
Samuel’s mouth was now open wide enough to catch an autumn leaf. Josh had fallen back against his seat. “Eunice is cool and all. I like seeing how she takes stuff apart and puts it all back again. But if I ever like a girl in a smoochy way—”
“A smoochy way?”
Josh made a loud kissing sound. “Don’t look so worried. I don’t. I’m only five! But if I ever do, it’s going to be because she has a lot of animals, like Ada. Wouldn’t that be amazing? You could have a best girl and a blind goat. Just think of it.”
Zeb was happy when Samuel turned the conversation to other things, but as they were unharnessing Beauty, after Josh had gone inside to clean up before dinner, Samuel couldn’t help returning to the subject.
“She likes you. That’s why she asked you, Zeb. Josh wasn’t so far off. You should have asked her out.”
“I didn’t get that feeling at all.” Though now that he thought of it, she had blushed prettily. Still, that could have been from embarrassment due to the topic. It probably was from embarrassment. “It took a lot of courage for her to ask for help with dating.”
“Why now?”
“She said the date with Lester made her realize she’s ready, but that he’s not the guy.”
“Okay. And why did she ask you?”
“Because we’re good friends.”
Samuel led Beauty to her stall as Zeb made sure everything in the barn was put in its proper place. They walked out of the barn into a perfect November afternoon—rainy but perfect. What farmer didn’t like rain? And he still thought of himself as a farmer, even if the money from the tours was quickly outpacing what he made from crops.
As they were walking up the steps to the house, Samuel said, “Sometimes a girl doesn’t know how to say she likes you. Sometimes she asks a different question.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Sure it does. Remember that story Mamm told us? She’d asked Dat to come over and help her with a washing machine, when what she really wanted was an excuse to spend time with him.”
“Okay. I guess that’s true sometimes, but I’m not sure it’s true in this case.”
“So, you’re just going to set Eunice up with someone else?”
“I don’t know. I’m going to think on it. I told her I’d give her some names.”
“I’ll tell you what you should do. Get a piece of paper and write one name on it. Write your name on it, and then take the woman on a proper date.”
Samuel bumped his shoulder against Zeb’s, and for a moment it felt like they were youngies, talking about which girl at school they liked. Zeb was only twenty-five years old, but when he thought about his younger self... When he thought about how carefree he’d been, it seemed as if that was a different person.
Later that night, he sat in the living room writing in his journal. It still felt awkward, but the counselor had insisted that it would help him process his feelings. What he’d learned since starting that practice was that feelings were messy. Often his feelings one day contradicted his feelings the next day. Many times he didn’t understand what he felt at all, but he was learning to accept those things about himself.
He wrote about the day, then about the story his mamm had told him before moving. The story about her broken heart and how it had taken awhile before she was ready to love again.
What if she’d never done that?
What if she’d never stepped out in courage after being hurt?
She wouldn’t have married their dat.
He and Samuel wouldn’t exist. Josh wouldn’t exist.
His pen froze over the paper. What he’d said to Eunice had been true. He had thought that not falling in love might be preferable to the pain he’d endured the last two years. But if he hadn’t fallen in love, he wouldn’t have Josh.
And there was something else his mamm had said.
He doodled on the side of the page, trying to remember her exact words. And when he was sure he had it right, he wrote it in the journal.
Sometimes love looks different the second time around.
Chapter Thirteen
Eunice didn’t expect to hear from Zeb until Wednesday at the earliest, since that was their first tour of the week. So she was super surprised when he walked into The Stitch & Skein around lunchtime on Tuesday.
“Zeb, what are you doing here?”
“Thought I’d pick up some yarn.”
He said it so casually that she couldn’t help laughing.
“Didn’t take you for a knitter, but okay. Can I help you pick something out?”
Zeb jerked his head toward the opposite side of the store. She followed him and couldn’t help quipping, “Didn’t realize organic yarn was your thing.”
“Huh?”
She pointed to the organic merino wool sign and the display beneath it.
“I don’t know what that means.”
“Which is fine, since you’re not a knitter. Why are you here?”
“To ask you out.”
Eunice had been straightening the red organic merino yarn, but her hands froze, her mind froze, at Zeb’s words. She turned to face him, to see if he was serious.
“I know that’s not what you asked for. You asked for a list of names.”
“Ya.”
“Samuel said I should give you a piece of paper with my name on it, but that sounded kind of corny.”
“Samuel said that?”
“Josh was even in on it. Saying kissing was gross, but since Ada was taken I should ask you...” His words slowed and trickled to an end with, “Or something like that.”
“You’re asking me to go out on a date? With you?”
He’d been reaching out to touch a skein of yarn, but he jerked his hand back, stuck it in his pocket and stood up straighter. “I am, Eunice. I’d like to take you out later this week. If that works for you.”
Did it work for her?
Did she want to date Zeb?
“I suspect you’re thinking the same thing I am,” he said.
“And what’s that?”
“We could be messing up a good friendship, a friendship that’s important to both of us. But...” He shook his head. “Something about this feels right. Don’t you think? And if I’m wrong, then we’ll go back to the way we’ve been.”
“Huh.”
“Is that a yes?”
And suddenly she could hear Ada’s voice. See her smile, crocodile. Ada’s misquotes and Ada’s sweet heart. Maybe Ada had been right all along. Maybe Eunice had been taking life, taking everything entirely too seriously.
She pushed any reservations or questions away, and she said what her heart told her to say. “Yes.”
“Tomorrow after the tour? I already checked with Becca and she said she wouldn’t mind keeping Josh a few extra hours.”
“You spoke with Becca?”
Zeb nodded. “Wanted to have my ducks in a row.”
“Okay. Tomorrow after the tour then. Where are we going?”
Zeb smiled, and it was the first genuine smile she’d seen from her friend in a very long time. “I’ll figure something out.”
Eunice wasn’t a very good employee at the shop after that. She stocked cotton yarn in the wool section, refilled an entire display of craft books upside down and charged a customer $112.49 instead of $12.49.
“That would be quite expensive yarn.” The customer laughed good-humoredly as Myra rushed over to help her correct the error.
When they were alone again in the shop, Myra turned to her and said, “You’ve got the lovebug.”
“What?”
“You heard me. It’s all over your face.” Myra held up her hands and made circles in the air—as if she were washing a window. “Love struck.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Okay. If you say so. But something changed when that nice young man came in and asked you out.”
“You heard that?”
“Small shop. I couldn’t help but hear.”
“I’m sorry I’m so distracted.” Eunice pressed her palms to her cheeks. She needed a cold rag. She felt as if her face were on fire.
Myra patted her shoulder. “There, there.” She actually said those words. Had anyone ever said there, there to Eunice before?
“Why don’t you take off early today? Maybe take a little drive. The weather’s cleared. It’s a beautiful crisp, cool, autumn day.”
“But I still haven’t—”
“We’ll take care of those things tomorrow. Go on, now. Get your purse. Are you okay to drive the buggy?”
“Of course I’m okay to drive the buggy. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Go home. Have a little rest. Maybe take a walk. Walks are good for the lovelorn.”
“But I’m not—”
“Yup. So you say.” Myra walked her through the storeroom. As Eunice was leaving out the back door, Myra pulled her into a hug. “I know it’s all confusing, dear. But falling in lieb is wunderbaar. For many people it only happens once in a lifetime. Try to enjoy it.”
Eunice walked over to her buggy in something of a daze. She spoke to the mare. “How about a drive, Peanut?” And she did feel better once the cool air was on her face and the sound of Peanut’s clip-clop filled the afternoon.
She didn’t realize where she was going until she pulled into Sarah’s drive. Her husband, Noah, had served time in an Illinois state prison. He was a new man now, and he loved Sarah so much that it sometimes hurt Eunice to watch the two of them together. Sarah and Noah had moved in with his parents. Though the house was small and the acreage enough for a single man to work alone, they’d wanted to be together.
Noah’s parents had missed him terribly the years he’d been in Illinois. When Noah and Sarah had married, Eunice hadn’t been able to imagine Sarah living anywhere but their home. Now, though, as she pulled up to the house and saw Sarah hanging clothes on the line, she knew that this was where Sarah belonged.
How did something like that happen?
How did a life take a completely different direction?
And was it possible for her?
She helped hang the laundry, and then they took a long walk. Sarah listened to her worries and her fears and her hopes. She didn’t laugh. She didn’t correct. She listened. Eunice’s oldest schweschder had always been a very gut listener.
By the time they were back at the house, Noah’s mamm, Rachel, was sitting on the front porch with three glasses and a pitcher of lemonade. They sat in the rockers enjoying the fall weather. Sarah told the story of her first date with Noah, back before she’d really known anything about him. Back when Noah was afraid to reveal his past.
Rachel told them that she’d met Reuben, Noah’s dat, at a work day. He’d come over from Middlebury to help with a barn raising. “It was love at first sight,” she admitted. “And I didn’t believe in such a thing.”
It helped Eunice to hear these women’s stories. It helped to know that it was normal to feel confused and scared and excited all at the same time.
But what carried her through the next twenty-four hours was Sarah’s words as they were walking over to the buggy. Sarah looped her arm through Eunice’s. “Zeb is a gut friend to you, Eunice. And he might be more. But if this doesn’t work out, you’ll still be friends.”
