Deadly Secrets, page 2
“I know.” Camille squeezed Jana’s hand and fastened her seat belt. “The baby kept us up all night again, but I wouldn’t send her back for anything.”
“That’s good to know. She’s a cutie. Do you need some time off? You are allowed maternity leave.”
“Stop trying to take care of me. I’m good,” Camille said. “Besides, Angie enjoys alone time with her for the moment. I take over after work and give her a break. If she gets overwhelmed, she’ll have no problem yelling for help. Trust me.” She gave Jana an up-and-down appraisal. “Two things. First, who are you wearing today? I don’t recognize the designer.”
They played this game most days, and Jana struggled to stump her astute assistant. “You don’t know? Well, how about that.”
Camille fingered the sleeve of Jana’s jacket. “Wool or wool blend. Nice lines. Spill.”
“It’s an Elie Tahari. He’s an Israeli designer, and this is my first of his. So far, so good. And the second thing?”
“Who were you out with last night?” Camille wiggled her eyebrows.
Jana honked at a slow driver in front of her and passed on the right. “Why does it suddenly feel like this five-minute drive is taking hours?”
“Because you’re dodging my question. I know your fresh-fucked look and I’m trying to live vicariously through you. God knows when I’ll get lucky again.”
She really hoped no one else could read her so well. “Nobody you know.”
“You didn’t pick up a stranger in a bar?” When Jana didn’t answer, Camille squealed. “You did!”
Jana stopped in front of the Alumicor building and waited for Camille to get out, but she didn’t move. “Okay, I went out with some friends for dinner, then we hit the bar for a couple of hours. I met a single out-of-towner…”
“Perfect for you.”
“You make me sound horrible. It was just a nice evening of mutually agreeable sex.”
Camille grinned. “Like I said, perfect. It keeps things simple. You don’t do commitment.”
“That’s not true.” Camille’s stare cut off further objection. “Maybe you’re right.” She was exactly right. Jana played her role as an extrovert well, and it was the perfect cover. She talked a good game, people thought she was approachable and felt like they knew her, but she never really let anyone close. Closeness opened the door to intimacy, and in her experience, intimacy led to eventual abandonment and pain. She wanted a real partner but wasn’t sure she could be that trusting. “Are you getting out or am I paying you to sit in my car and grill me about my sex life?”
“If I have a choice—”
“Get out.” She playfully shoved Camille. “I’ll be back as soon as I park the car. And tell Sonya I’d like to review the Kitamura merger first thing.”
Camille gave a mock salute and hurried to the front door of the polished granite high-rise.
As Alumicor’s executive vice president and chief commercial officer, Jana handled all commercial strategies, global procurement, and business development. Her current project involved a merger with the Japanese company that could garner them both billions. Jana allowed her second, Sonya Duncan, to manage the details, but final approval rested with her and CEO William Fergus.
By the time she got to her office, Camille had herded Sonya and her assistant into the glass-enclosed conference room, procured an array of breakfast sandwiches and pastries from the downstairs restaurant, and had two large pots of coffee brewing. Jana dropped her carryall in her desk chair and joined them. “Where do we stand, Sonya?”
“Good to go, boss.” The petite blonde sat up straighter. “Everything is ready for our attorney’s final review. Dayle Hargrave will be here when her current trial wraps up.”
Dayle—intelligent, single, strong butch—another mutually agreeable sex partner. Jana’s earlier conversation with Camille prickled the back of her mind. Had her personal life become a series of convenient rendezvous with no serious attachments and no future?
Camille cleared her throat, and Jana rejoined the conversation. “The Kitamura attorneys have signed off already?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Sonya said. “When will you present the paperwork to Fergus?”
“You can decide since you’ll be making the presentation with Dayle.”
“Me?” Sonya’s face and neck flushed a deep shade of pink. “Why me?”
“Because you’ve done most of the legwork on this project and deserve an opportunity to be heard. You’re my second right now, but one day, you’ll sit in the big chair. Time to step up.”
“Are you sure I’m ready?”
“I have absolute confidence in you, Sonya. It’s time you did as well. Show him what you’ve got.” She rolled her hand in the air. “But if it’ll make you more comfortable, we can go through the proposal page by page to double-check.”
“Yes, please,” Sonya said.
Jana leaned back and listened, but her mind wandered to last night’s companion and Dayle Hargrave’s pending visit. Her body tingled at the prospect of seeing the company attorney again.
Chapter Two
Heat warmed the side of Rafe’s face, and she sniffed the air for camel dung, moisture, or decaying vegetation to get a sense of where she was. Iraq, Afghanistan, India, or the alligator-infested waters of the Bolivian wetlands? She tuned in to her body—soft bed, enclosed space, comfortable temperature—and opened her eyes. Pine trees and hardwood leaves swayed in a brisk breeze outside the window of the tiny nest she called home. She released a long breath and relaxed back onto the mattress.
The sun topped the trees to the east, so she guessed the time around 0900. A bronze maple leaf separated from a branch and fluttered to the ground as reality sunk in. She was no longer part of a whole either. Her life was totally her own again after twenty-five years. A free agent with no purpose or plan. Nobody needed her anymore or had a claim to her time, but that was a good thing, right? She stretched sideways to turn on the coffee pot on the counter. Baby steps. Caffeine first. Life plans later, much later.
Rafe fluffed the pillows behind her and settled back with her coffee, listening to the lake come alive. The whizzing sound of morning fishers casting lines in the still cove next to her dock. Boaters revving their motors as they sped along the main channel, and the occasional wave runner skimming and bouncing across the surface of the water. No bombs or weapon fire in the distance. Her little piece of heaven fit all her criteria—isolated and compact with lock-and-leave capability. What more could she need?
What she wanted—a woman she loved and a home—and could realistically have were entirely different, so she settled for what she needed. Her life was about duty, service, teamwork on the job, and solitude otherwise. Her career and relationships didn’t mix because speaking about her missions was a criminal offense akin to espionage. How could she share her life when she couldn’t even talk about most of it?
A child’s yelp drew Rafe’s attention to her neighbor’s dock where the young boy, Teddy, and his mother, Brenda, stared down into the water. He pointed, crying for his mother standing nearby to “get it.”
“It’s gone, Teddy,” Brenda said.
Rafe’s mind flashed back to another child, breaking from a group of orphans and darting toward an open field in Afghanistan. Guilt and grief gripped her as it had that day, and she bolted from her bed.
“Noooo,” Teddy cried louder, wiping tears from his eyes.
Rafe pulled on a pair of swimming trunks and a sports bra and walked to her dock. “What happened, Brenda?” she asked.
“He dropped his dad’s watch in the lake. I told him a hundred times it’s too big for him until he’s older.”
“Mom—ma.” Teddy’s voice quivered. “Please.”
Rafe jumped in the water, swam over, and looked up at Teddy. “Do you know where you dropped it?” He pointed straight down, and Rafe nodded. She shucked off her dog tags and handed them to him. “These are the most precious things I own. Hold on to them for me. If I don’t come back with your watch, you can keep them. Deal?”
Teddy nodded, closed his small hand around the dog tags, and clutched them to his chest as if they and her promise might also be lost.
Rafe floated and stared down through the murky water trying not to stir any more sediment from the bottom. When her eyes adjusted, she spotted the shiny band of the watch caught on a stump protruding from the ground. She dove and snagged the band in the crook of her index finger and kicked toward the surface. Teddy screamed when her hand holding the watch came into view.
“You did it.”
He jumped up and down until Rafe pulled herself up beside him. “Want to trade?” She offered him the watch, opened her other hand, and he dropped the dog tags in her palm.
“Thank you.”
“Yes, thank you so much,” Brenda said. “How can I ever repay you? His father was killed in Afghanistan three years ago, and that watch means the world to him.”
“No payment necessary, ma’am. I’m a veteran, so I understand.” She slipped the chain back over her head and rubbed the dog tags between her fingers. She lived, breathed, and bled orders and operations, helping people, sometimes literally saving them, and maybe herself a little in the process. Being a hero was who she was. What now?
When she got back to the nest, her cell was chirping with a new message. Time to face the real world. She thumbed through her text messages deleting the spam. Voice mails were next, again, she deleted all but the final one.
“Rafe, it’s Ben. Call me.”
Bennett’s voice caused a pleasurable swell in Rafe’s chest. She’d spent the safest and most loving time of her adolescence with the Carlyle family. They provided her first real home, and she kept in touch with them as her schedule allowed, never wanting them to forget the pivotal part they played in her life.
She hit Bennett’s number and smiled when she answered.
“Bennett Carlyle.”
“What’s happening, Chief.”
Bennett chuckled. “Still a captain, as you know.”
“I live in constant hope you’ll run the place someday. What’s up?” They were closer than Rafe and the other siblings by virtue of their ages, and neither wasted time with pleasantries.
“If memory serves, you’re now a retired woman, so come for dinner tonight. Kerstin and I will ease you back into civilian life. I’ll grill whatever Kerstin says.”
Rafe poured another cup of coffee and settled at the small table overlooking the lake. “I don’t know, Ben. I’m a little rough around the edges. Just got in last night.”
“Come on. We’ll make it an early evening. We’ve missed you.”
The heartfelt words brought tears to her eyes, and she cleared her throat. “I’ll…be there in a few hours.” Rafe hung up and reconsidered her decision. She loved Bennett and Kerstin and wanted to see them, but they asked questions she couldn’t answer, personally and professionally. “Too late now.”
She spent the afternoon packing the military gear she wouldn’t return into storage boxes and unpacking civilian clothes. The army took the decision of what to wear every day out of her hands, and she loved it. From the looks of her wardrobe, her new uniform would be jeans, cargo pants or shorts, button-down shirts, and T-shirts. Perfect. After a quick shower, she grabbed the outfit on top of the stack, pulled on her boots, and unchained her motorcycle. She cranked the first time, and Rafe relaxed into the lush seat as she hit the blacktop heading into Greensboro.
“It’s so great to see you again.” Kerstin lunged at Rafe the minute she opened the door and smothered her in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you. How are you?”
Bennett laughed. “She has to be able to breathe to answer, babe.”
Kerstin stepped back and brushed blond curls from her face. “Sorry. You’re so tanned.”
“Desert life tends to do that,” Rafe said and closed the door behind her. “Thanks for the invite.” She pulled a bottle of Hangar 1 vodka from her jacket and gave it to Kerstin.
Bennett whistled. “You went all out, pal. That stuff isn’t cheap.”
“Neither is your wife.” Rafe gave Kerstin a quick peck on the cheek before hugging Bennett. “You two look great. Married life still agrees with you.” They looked at each other, and the answer was written on their faces. Was she capable of that kind of love or had her childhood and the military hardened her into a solitary being?
“Beer?” Bennett asked.
“Just one. I’m riding the bike.”
Bennett reached into a cooler filled with ice behind the bar, pulled out two bottles, and passed one to Rafe. “Let’s sit on the patio since it’s nice. I’ll cook after we catch up. Kerstin has everything else ready.” Before Rafe settled in the old-style metal rocker, Bennett asked, “So, what are you thinking about doing as a retired woman?”
Rafe chuckled. Just like a Carlyle, goal driven and direct. “Did you miss the part about me just getting home last night? Can I have a whole day to think about it?”
“Best to strike while the iron is hot,” Bennett said. “Your experience in counter-terrorism, hostage rescue, high-value target protection and extraction is bound to be good for something.”
“Like what exactly? The military is a lot like law enforcement. It doesn’t really prepare you for anything else, not even civilian life.” Her comment sounded bitter, verging on angry, and she sipped her beer to think of something more positive. “Private security is the big thing for retirees right now, and it pays obscene money, but we’ll see.”
“We’re hiring at the department,” Bennett said.
“You’re just proving my point, Ben. Besides, carrying a gun requires the same level of responsibility and accountability regardless of the employer. If I wanted that, I’d reenlist.”
“Would you seriously consider another tour?”
“I’m not ruling anything out yet. It’s early days, and I have no idea what the job market is like for someone like me. The military transition team offered suggestions and counseling, but I’m just not sure what I want at this point.”
Kerstin rested a hand on Rafe’s. “There’s no rush. In the meantime, how about something more sociable like dating? I have several single friends who would be—”
“Kerst, you promised you wouldn’t,” Bennett said.
“And you promised you wouldn’t grill her about work.”
Rafe grinned at them. “You two are perfect together.” She took another sip of beer. Could she even begin to explain to her best friends why she would probably never find a partner? “Sometimes I wonder if I joined the army because of how I was raised or if the army chose me for the same reason. Does that make sense? I went into a career that values teamwork but punishes individuality and pretty much guarantees to fuck you up and destroy any chance of a normal life. What does that say about me?”
This time when Kerstin touched her hand, she didn’t let go until Rafe looked at her. “It says you were doing the best you could to make a life for yourself, and you have. What happens now is also your choice. No one else gets to tell you what to do or how to live. And yes, my friend, you will find someone who loves you just the way you are.” She glanced at Bennett. “I mean, Ben did.” They laughed together.
“Hey, what does that mean?” Bennett asked and then waved them off. “I’m going to put the salmon steaks on.”
They shared a meal of grilled salmon, salad, and baked sweet potatoes on the patio and caught up on their lives as the evening cooled. “How’s the rest of the family?” Rafe asked.
Bennett laughed. “G-ma is ornery as a caged cheetah since she and Ma turned the food truck business over to Stephanie. Jazz and Emory are remodeling their house and bring samples to every Sunday brunch. The dining table looks like a home improvement display until G-ma yells for the all clear.”
“And that brother of yours and the twins?”
“Simon is the biggest kid in the family but still moving up in the fire department. Since Stephanie took on the food truck, he’s around more for the kids, but Ryan and Riley are smart enough to be on their own, according to them.”
“The Carlyles are nothing if not independent,” Kerstin said.
“And your gorgeous baby sister, Dylan?” Rafe asked. “How’s married life treating her?”
“She and Finley are great. They were clever enough to move out of Fisher Park, so they have more privacy than the rest of us. Who knew the baby girl was the smartest of the bunch?”
Rafe chuckled. “And you and Kerstin? What’s happening on the baby front?”
Bennett glanced at Kerstin, and she answered. “We’re still looking for the perfect donor, if such a thing exists. If we could just fuse our eggs, we’d have a perfect child.”
“Wow. TMI. Just keep looking,” Rafe said.
“Will do.” Bennett pushed her plate away and yawned.
“Guess I better help with the cleanup and head back to Badin Lake.” Rafe collected their plates and placed them in the dishwasher, and Bennett and Kerstin walked her to the front door.
“Promise you won’t be a stranger, Rafe,” Kerstin said and kissed her cheek.
Bennett clasped her shoulder. “Yeah, keep in touch. If not, I know where you live.”
“Roger that, Chief, and thanks for tonight.”
Chapter Three
Jana read the obituary, dropped it on her desk, and stared out the window of her Alumicor high-rise office. Blue skies with bulbous white clouds belied the somber mood of the day. Old people with incurable diseases died, not vibrant men full of life and promise. A ridiculous assertion, but death made her twitchy and sweaty, funerals even more so. Now they invaded her workplace where she imagined herself safe and untouchable.
