Deadly Secrets, page 16
Jana fiddled with the hem of the blanket. “But do we have to do it now? I can’t think after the motorcycle ride from hell and two glasses of wine. Not that the ride was entirely bad.” She shifted uncomfortably. “Probably best not to focus on that.” Jana grinned, and Rafe felt her face heat.
“Yeah, probably not.” The thrill of 310-horsepower between her legs never escaped Rafe. It was like straddling a plane or wrestling a hurricane. After every outing, she was exhausted from the danger and physical exertion of controlling a machine that was designed for racing. She gazed into the fire and tried to ignore the closeness of Jana’s body, but her appeal rivaled the excitement of her bike or any work scenario she conjured. To distract herself, she reached for another cracker but found the plate empty. When she started to kid Jana about not being hungry, her eyes were flagging, and she stifled a yawn. “Maybe you should go to bed. It’s almost midnight, and you’ve had a tough day.”
“Not just yet. I like the fire.” She stretched her legs onto the ottoman and rested her head on Rafe’s shoulder. “Do you mind?”
How to answer that question. Did she mind the ache of desire in her body from Jana’s touch? Or Jana’s heartbeat syncing with hers like a metronome? Did she mind Jana’s steady breathing, a lifeline to something she never imagined she could have? “No.” She didn’t mind any of it but knew it was wrong and yet couldn’t stop herself. She put her arm around Jana and pulled her closer. When Jana’s breath quickened, and her body heated against Rafe, she asked, “Are you all right?”
Jana looked up into her eyes. “Would you come to bed with me? I need you.” She tugged lightly on Rafe’s waistband and then smoothed her hand up her stomach to rest between her breasts. “Please.”
The firelight danced in Jana’s eyes, and her lips quivered. She was vulnerable, and only rogues took advantage. “You’re not thinking clearly.”
“I know what I want, Rafe.”
She should say no, keep her boundaries intact. She wanted to say no. That was a lie. Her body ached and came alive when she was near Jana blinding her to everything except her need. Instead of responding, she scooped Jana’s swaddled body in her arms and carried her to bed.
Chapter Twenty
Jana stared up at her from atop the bed, and Rafe stiffened. She never froze in battle, but this was something else entirely. What if she did the wrong thing? Jana deserved a level of finesse Rafe was certain she didn’t possess.
“We can take this slow, if you want.”
“Just tell me what to do…I mean what you want.” Rafe rocked back and forth beside the bed with her hands stuffed in her pants pockets feeling more like a teenager than a retired army major. “It’s been a long time for me, and I don’t know what women like these days.”
Jana grinned. “I’m pretty sure that part hasn’t changed.” She did a twirl with her index finger. “Turn around and undress, and I’ll do the same. When I say now, we’ll look at the same time. I want to be surprised by you, Rafaella Silva, like usual.”
Rafe breathed to release the tension in her body and turned. She’d never done anything like this with a woman. Occasional groping in the dark with a female soldier followed by a quick getaway was the only contact she had time for or interest in during her tours of service, but Jana summoned new desires. Rafe wanted to take her time, touch every inch of Jana’s skin, and sate her hunger until Jana begged for mercy. Rafe shucked off her clothes and waited, feeling heat and desire building in her center.
“Now,” Jana said softly.
Rafe turned slowly, imagining Jana nude in front of her unashamed of her body or their intentions. She was not prepared. Jana’s pale skin shimmered in lamplight, her blue eyes were wide and expectant, and Rafe swallowed hard. “You’re…beautiful doesn’t come close.” She rounded the foot of the bed and stopped, unsure how to approach someone she wanted to please so much. “May I?”
Jana reached for her, and before Rafe realized she was moving again, she was in her arms. They perfectly fit breast to breast, pelvis to pelvis, and Rafe resisted the urge to slide her thigh between Jana’s legs and rock. “So soft. So good,” she whispered against Jana’s neck.
“Kiss me, Rafe.” Jana traced a finger along Rafe’s jaw and looked into her eyes.
“Are you sure about this?” One of them should be. Rafe was violating her work code and disregarding the boundaries she’d set between them. She wanted Jana with a fierceness she’d never felt, and one touch convinced her she’d never be able to stop.
Without answering, Jana lifted Rafe’s chin and lightly brushed their lips together.
That’s all it took. Rafe wrapped her arms around Jana’s waist and pulled them as close as breathing allowed. She gently prodded with her tongue requesting entry and exploring the soft wetness of Jana’s mouth. She swallowed Jana’s moans to quench her soul from years of loss and loneliness. Jana tilted her pelvis for more contact, and Rafe pressed against her to salve the ache knotted in her center. “Jana, I want you so much.”
“Then take me, soldier.”
Rafe lifted Jana’s legs on either side of her waist, walked them backward to the bed, and laid her gently across it. She took a couple of minutes to breathe and soak in Jana’s body again. “Now what?”
“Whatever you want, Rafe.” Jana brought Rafe’s hand to her lips.
She gazed down at Jana streaked by moonlight, certain she’d never seen a woman more beautiful or more vulnerable. The curves of her body were an artist’s masterpiece waiting to be explored and cherished. “I want to please you, to be the kind of lover you deserve. If I learned anything in the army, it was how not to treat women. I can’t botch this.”
“You won’t.”
Rafe called on the single-mindedness she employed in the field and focused on one thing at a time. She lifted Jana’s legs onto her shoulders and massaged from her ankles to her knees and then upward to the join of her thighs and back again. She never took her eyes off Jana’s face, drinking in the kaleidoscope of expressions her touches evoked.
“You’re so gentle,” Jana whispered and bit down on her bottom lip.
“Is it okay?”
“Better. Just not what I expected.” Jana captured Rafe’s hands and tried to pull her closer.
“I want to look at you.”
Jana chuckled nervously. “You sure know how to make a woman feel self-conscious.”
“I’m sorry.” She’d already done something stupid.
“Oh no, baby.” Jana swung her legs off Rafe’s shoulders and trapped her between her knees. “I wasn’t criticizing. When most women get to this point, they’re beyond the looking stage. It’s not wrong, just unexpected. Again.”
“Their loss.” Rafe combed her fingers through Jana’s long hair and let it cascade slowly over her shoulders. “Looking at you has been my pleasure and pain since the day we met. I can’t imagine not appreciating everything about you while I have this chance. Who knows what—”
“Don’t you dare start worst-case scenarizing while we’re naked.” She scooted to the edge of the bed and buried her face between Rafe’s breasts. “Come to bed.”
Rafe’s knees weakened from Jana’s soft command and all it implied. This was really happening. Not just a quick tumble for relief, followed by a hasty exit before a night patrol caught her. She could take her time. “Gladly.”
She eased Jana back on the pillows and brought their bodies together slowly. “Oh. My. God. Don’t move.”
“Why?”
“Give me a minute to imprint the feel of your body against mine. I never want to forget this moment. A first touch only happens once.” She traced her fingers along Jana’s cheek, down her neck, over the rise of her breasts, the dip of her waist, and the swell of her hips, enjoying Jana’s whimpers. She cupped a breast in her palm, weighed it, pressed its softness, and then tweaked the puckered nipple with her thumb and forefinger.
“Oh, Rafe.” Jana’s voice was a needy growl.
“You’re so warm and soft.” Rafe eased her thigh between Jana’s legs. “And wet.” She stifled the urge to drive against Jana, to rub her sex along her firm thigh, to even think about it yet. “You’re killing me.”
“Not my intention.” Jana kissed Rafe’s neck and nibbled a path to her ear. “At all.”
Desire swelled inside, and she moaned just before Jana claimed her mouth. The contact electrified a path to her crotch, and she forced her hips still to keep from riding Jana to the world’s fastest orgasm.
“You’re holding back, Silva.” Jana whispered in her ear. “Don’t.”
“Are…you…sure?” Rafe asked, her breath coming in gasps.
Jana answered with a sharp thrust of her hips. “I need you.”
The words were a match to det cord, burning straight to Rafe’s sex. “I want to be inside you. Is that okay?”
“God, yes.”
Rafe hovered over her on all fours, sucked her middle finger into her mouth, pulled it out, and then eased it inside of Jana. She moaned, and Rafe slid deeper.
“Yes, Rafe, yes.”
Rafe would never get enough of this. With each thrust, Jana answered with a moan, whimper, or a scrape of her fingernails down Rafe’s back, making it harder to stay on hands and knees and bringing her closer to orgasm. If she lowered herself fully, she’d come immediately, and she desperately wanted to please Jana first.
“On top of me, Rafe. Let me feel you everywhere.”
“Not…yet.” She slid her thumb to Jana’s clit, kept time with her finger, and felt Jana tighten around her. “Come for me. Please.”
Jana rocked faster and dug her nails into Rafe’s thighs. “So…close. Don’t stop.”
Rafe lowered her mouth to Jana’s breasts and feasted. Maybe she’d violated some code. Maybe this was wrong, but how could it be? Jana panted beneath her, and her face and chest colored bright red. Rafe couldn’t last much longer.
“I’m…coming, Rafe. Hold me.”
Rafe gave a final thrust, slid her center up Jana’s thigh, and collapsed on top of her. Then she was back on the battlefield with explosions all around her, but she must’ve died because she’d never felt better. Wave after wave of pleasure curled through her. If this was death, she’d die every day. She rocked and came over and over until she couldn’t breathe and finally stilled.
“Rafe, are you okay?”
When Rafe registered Jana’s question, she kept her eyes closed and assessed her surroundings, just like in the field. She clung to Jana’s shoulders with her face buried in her neck and her body still trembling with aftershocks. Her eyes were damp, and her cheeks wet. Was she crying? The orgasm had been intense, and Jana smelled like lavender-scented sex, urging her back for more. And Rafe was ready.
“Rafe?” Jana rubbed circles on her back and teased a blanket from the foot of the bed to cover them.
“Yeah, I’m good.” She wiped her eyes and face before raising her head to look at Jana. “Are you? Okay?”
“Never better.”
“Thank you for that,” Rafe said. “So much.”
Jana chuckled. “You don’t have to thank me.”
“Yes, I do.” Rafe cupped Jana’s breast and thumbed her erect nipple. “Can we go again?”
“Now?” Jana pulled back and studied her before answering. “Already?”
“Yes, please.” Rafe slid her hand down Jana’s stomach and paused just below her navel. “I’m playing catch-up.”
“So, nothing to do with me, just sex, right?”
“Totally all about you,” Rafe said.
“Good answer.” Jana traced Rafe’s lips with her tongue before kissing her and trying to flip her over.
“Oh no you don’t.” Rafe rolled them again, topped Jana, and kissed her way down her body. She settled between Jana’s thighs and looked up at her. “Is this all right?”
“You’re joking? I feel like such a pillow princess.”
“Conserve your energy. You’re going to need it.” Rafe closed her eyes, thanked whatever powers that be for her current position, and lowered her mouth.
Daylight was breaking when Rafe milked Jana’s final orgasm from her and moved up her body. She sighed and grinned. She’d been doing a lot of that the last few hours.
“Mercy,” Jana said and covered her face with the sheet. “I can’t feel anything below my waist.”
“I’ll be glad to check that everything is still there, if you want,” Rafe reached for Jana’s thigh, but she grabbed her hand.
“You’re insatiable.”
“Told you I was making up for lost time.”
“And I need sleep.” Jana pecked her on the lips before rolling over and taking the covers with her. “Wake me in a couple of hours.”
Rafe snuggled up to Jana’s back, lightly kissed her shoulder, and inhaled her scent mingled with their sex. How many nights had she lain on desert-heated rocks or wedged between the limbs of a kapok tree in jungle canopy and dreamed of a night like this? So why did she feel as if she’d stolen these precious moments or somehow tricked Jana?
She wanted to sleep beside Jana to wake with her in the morning but feared she’d have a flashback and scare her. Rafe allowed herself one last caress of Jana’s naked outline—surprised when her passion reignited the minute they connected. Everything about Jana aroused, teased, and tormented her in a way that made control nearly impossible. Would she ever get enough? Had abstinence caused her ravenous desire or was Jana the reason? If she didn’t put some distance between them, she’d be on top of her again. She eased out of bed and tiptoed to the kitchen, turned on the coffee pot, and grabbed a towel from the bathroom on her way to the outside shower.
While the coffee perked, she went to check the perimeter. A mist lay heavy over the lake like a protective blanket waiting to be cast off by the morning sun. Birds caught worms, and squirrels scurried back and forth gathering nuts. Everything looked brighter, more vivid this morning, and Rafe hummed as she walked the lines, trying not to attribute the cheery mood to her night with Jana. She stooped, shoved one of the stakes deeper into the ground, and the enormity of what she’d done hit her.
She’d slept with her employer, violated one of her primary rules. If someone had told her yesterday this would happen, she’d have laughed. But every time she thought of Jana, how she felt, made her feel, the guilt and recrimination vanished. And if she tried to forget what happened between them, it would be impossible.
Chapter Twenty-one
Jana woke when the morning sun peeked through a crack in the curtain and splashed heat across her face. She tried to roll over and go back to sleep but couldn’t move. She was swaddled in the blanket Rafe had given her last night, her arms pinned at her sides. Rafe. Had she dreamed they made love? She was alone, but her body said she hadn’t been. She’d rested her head on Rafe’s shoulder, felt safe again, and practically begged Rafe to have sex with her. She hated being needy or at least showing it, but with Rafe it felt like something else.
And then everything came back—Rafe gazing at her like she was golden, touching her like crystal, and making love to her like she was Aphrodite herself. Rafe had been hungry, demanding but also thoughtful and gentle. For hours. Jana finally begged for mercy and felt Rafe snuggle up to her back. It was a perfect night of sex, like no other lover, but how would they interact today? Jana wiggled to get leverage and worked her way out of the covering.
She collected her clothes and dashed into the bathroom for a quick shower eager for some of the fresh-brewed coffee she smelled. When she came out of the bathroom, Rafe was on the sofa in front of the fire where she’d been last night. “Good morning.”
“I’m glad you slept.”
“Did you?” Jana poured her coffee, added sweetener, and creamer and took the sofa opposite Rafe with a view of the lake. “I imagine it’s hard after all you’ve been through.”
Rafe nodded.
“Thanks for taking care of me last night.”
Rafe looked up and grinned. “Is that what I did? Took care of you?”
“There might’ve been some reciprocity involved.” Jana sipped her coffee. “Are you okay with…everything? I don’t want it to be awkward.”
“If I said I wasn’t beating myself up a little, I’d be lying. I broke my own rule about getting involved with a client. And for the record, I was serious about not being casual, like the other women you’ve bedded. But as far as how I feel about it, I’m good. A little sleep-deprived and sore body parts I hadn’t used in a while, but otherwise—”
“Okay, stop. Now you’re embarrassing me. And FYI, I don’t just bed women.” Was that true or just her way of denying what her search for Ms. Right had become in recent years. Best not to explore the question too closely. “Thanks for letting me sleep.”
“Snoring might’ve been involved.”
“I do not snor—” Jana stopped when Rafe’s grin turned into a laugh. “That’s not nice.” Then she noticed Rafe’s wet boots by the door. “You’ve already been outside?”
“I needed to check the perimeter since I wasn’t exactly paying attention last night.”
“Do you expect me to apologize?” She playfully raised her eyebrows and then wondered what this protection detail must be like for Rafe. She’d put her own life on hold—retirement, reintegration into society, finding a new career and possibly a relationship—to babysit her. Now, Rafe slept on floors, sofas, or recliners, isolated with someone she didn’t know, led henchmen on wild goose chases, and tended the physical and emotional needs of a scared woman who resisted her at every turn. Maybe she deserved twice her exorbitant fee. Would it be worth the trouble then? “I bet you’re sorry you took this job.”
