Brooklyn, page 29
Brooklyn nodded. “I just found out. If I had known, I would have been here.”
“God has forgiven you, Brooklyn.”
Sabrina wondered where her child had been for so many years, how she had survived. Even as Brooklyn stood in front of her now, she knew that her daughter might never tell the whole truth about her life so far. Sabrina had never really known Brooklyn like she thought she did.
“What made you come back now?” she asked.
Brooklyn answered honestly. “I lost everything. Everyone. I called Erica because she was the only person I had left to call. She told me that Daddy was gone. So, I got in my car and came right away.”
Sabrina nodded. “You’ve kept in touch with Erica through the years. That’s the only way we knew you were even alive. Every now and then, she’d tell us that she spoke to you and that you seemed to be managing alright. She told us that she spoke to you a few years ago. Right around the time that your father had his stroke.”
Brooklyn nodded.
Sabrina glowered. “Why didn’t you come home then?”
Brooklyn opened her mouth but wasn’t sure how to respond. It took her a moment to get her words together. “I … thought that seeing me would only make it worse. I thought it would upset him.”
“What upset your father was losing his family. That’s what killed him.” Sabrina’s tone was even, flat. “Amir died. You left. He was never the same. He got over the money you stole. Paid Mrs. Hutchinson back out of his own pocket. But he never got over Amir’s suicide.”
Sabrina walked to the front pew and picked up the Bible. She held it up in front of her daughters.
“This is what your father stood for. Eli wasn’t perfect. He sinned just like we all do. But he did his best to raise his family in the fear and admonition of God and the laws written in this book. An abomination. That’s what this book calls the life Amir was living. That’s what your father was thinking when he tried to beat the truth out of him. Eli’s reaction to the truth was unfortunate. He judged him because he believed that God would do the same. His reaction was violent and impulsive. He never forgave himself for what happened. It ate him alive. Hope and I tried to help. We kept thinking you would walk through these doors one day and your father would understand that there was still a family left to salvage. But that didn’t happen. Did it?”
Brooklyn didn’t respond. Didn’t know how to.
Hope sighed.
Sabrina continued. “When your father suffered the stroke, I used every tool in my arsenal to help him recover. Nothing helped. Erica told us that she spoke to you while your father was still in the hospital. Said she urged you to come home then. You didn’t, though. You kept on doing whatever you were doing out there. Living your life while your father was losing his.”
“Mom,” Hope said, gently.
Sabrina looked at her and smiled. “It’s okay, baby. We’re gonna tell the truth today.” She looked at Brooklyn again. “You didn’t come home then, while your father still had a little fight left in him. You waited until now. Why? Because you found out that he’s gone and there might be some money here waiting for you?”
Brooklyn stared back at her, convicted. Though she was overcome with guilt and shame, she had to admit to herself that the inheritance had put her on the road to New York City that morning.
“I didn’t come home all this time because I didn’t know if you would even want to see me,” Brooklyn said. She looked at Hope, too. “Coming back here today was hard for me because I had no idea what I was walking into. For all I knew, you could have shamed me in front of the whole church and kicked me out. I had no clue if you would welcome me or push me away.”
Hope rubbed her sister’s back, comfortingly as they stood before their mother.
“The Bible says ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Sabrina clutched the leather-bound book to her chest for emphasis. “You’re not the only one whose hands are dirty in this family. I’ve made my mistakes, too. I should have been a better mother to all of you. I lost Amir. You ran away. But Hope stayed. When you ignored your father and his illness, she cared for him. When you betrayed your brother, your sister stayed and helped us survive that tragedy as a family. She stayed on the battlefield here at Promised Land and ensured that Jordan was welcomed back into the fold. She started a scholarship in your brother’s name to help ensure that no other member of this church is ever ostracized or rejected because of their sexuality. She helped him forgive your father. Before he died, Eli was able to understand the love between Amir and Jordan, and that happened because Hope stayed.” Sabrina pointed at everyone present. “Jordan stayed. Erica stayed. I stayed. But you ran.”
Brooklyn couldn’t hold her head high anymore. She stared down at the floor, ashamed.
“And you only came back when you smelled money.” Sabrina tucked a finger underneath Brooklyn’s chin and lifted it. Eye to eye, she spoke to her daughter. “God has forgiven you. But I can tell you this. You won’t get a single penny of the money your father left behind. So, if that’s what brought you back home after all these years, you might as well turn yourself around, walk back out that door, and go back where you came from.”
Brooklyn felt her lower lip quivering and felt like a child again. She stared into her mother’s eyes while her own welled up with tears.
“You keep saying that God forgave me. Have you?”
Sabrina didn’t respond.
Brooklyn blinked away the tears. “So, all of that was just for the audience, huh? All that blessing me and praying over me was for show?”
Sabrina stepped back, looked Brooklyn up and down, shook her head, and walked away.
Brooklyn stood at the front of the sanctuary with Hope by her side. She felt like a fool. Her mother’s dramatic display in front of the congregation had been one big performance. Brooklyn had to hand it to her. Sabrina had been so convincing that she had fooled her, too. For a brief while, she had felt her mother’s love, forgiveness, and warmth. Then Sabrina had cruelly snatched it all away.
Hope looked at her. “She’s taking Daddy’s death really hard. It may not seem like it now, but she’s glad you’re back. I am, too.” Hope smiled at Brooklyn, sympathetically, and hugged her. “Come home with me. We’ll take this one step at a time.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Reaping
Brooklyn was in such a daze as she climbed back into her car and followed the caravan to Hope’s house that she barely noticed how cold it was outside. Her body shivered as she drove, and minutes passed before it occurred to her to turn on the heat in the car. She arrived at the house on Slosson Avenue and marveled at how well Hope had clearly done for herself. She parked in the driveway behind her sister.
Jordan and Erica had followed them in Jordan’s car. As Brooklyn climbed out of her car, she couldn’t help thinking that the only person missing from the equation was Amir. If he were alive, she imagined, he would be getting out of Jordan’s passenger seat, and the picture would be complete. She walked into the house behind Hope while Jordan and Erica parked.
Brooklyn stared at the large wedding portrait hanging in the foyer of her sister’s home.
“How’s married life?” Brooklyn asked. She slid out of her coat and Hope hung it in a hook on the wall.
“I picked a good one,” Hope said. “So, I can’t complain.”
A dog came running toward them, barking. Brooklyn jumped, instinctively, but caught herself when she realized it was a little Yorkie.
“This is Scrappy. He’s a little hyper, but he means well.”
Hope scooped the dog up and led Brooklyn into the living room where her husband was sitting on the couch with a beer watching ESPN.
“This is Eddie,” Hope said as she entered.
Brooklyn smiled at him. Eddie was tall and athletic looking. He stood up with a beer in his hand and extended his free hand to her.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Eddie,” Brooklyn managed as she shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, too.” She looked at Hope and smiled. “Firm handshake!”
Hope chuckled as she set Scrappy down on the floor and sprinkled some doggie treats for him. “Eddie, this is my sister Brooklyn.”
Eddie was visibly shocked. He gasped a little and looked at Brooklyn.
“OH! Okay. Wow!”
Brooklyn imagined what he had heard about her—the bad seed of the family. She felt a little embarrassed. “Sorry I missed the wedding.”
Eddie wasn’t sure if she was serious or joking. He nodded, uneasily.
Jordan and Erica walked in, and he seemed grateful for the interruption.
“Hey, y’all. How was church?”
Jordan found the question ironic and chuckled a bit. “Eventful.”
Erica’s son, Luke, rushed toward Eddie and threw his arms around his legs. Eddie scooped the child up in the air playfully.
“Hey, little man!”
Hope slid out of her shoes and invited everyone to sit down.
“Make yourself at home, Brooklyn. This is our usual routine after church on Sundays. We come back over here and unwind while I cook dinner. You can help me tonight if you want.”
Brooklyn nodded.
“I already ordered food,” Eddie said. “We both have to work on Valentine’s Day. So, I figured I’d get started early. I got food from your favorite spot, so you don’t have to cook tonight.”
Hope smiled, sat on his lap, and gave him a long kiss on his lips. “Thank you!”
“That’s sweet,” Brooklyn said.
She sat down and watched the lovebirds snuggling up beside each other on the couch. “I’m glad to see you so happy.” She shook her head. “I thought for sure that you would marry one of the junior deacons at the church or an associate minister or something.” Brooklyn had been certain that Hope was destined to follow her mother’s blueprint to the letter. But Eddie seemed so normal. She stared at the beer in his hand, longing for one.
Hope laughed. “Eddie believes in God, but he’s not the churchgoing type.”
Eddie agreed. “I go with her to the big events. Easter Sunday, Christmas, and church anniversary.”
Brooklyn approved. “How’d you meet?”
“I introduced them,” Jordan said. He was seated across from Brooklyn in a recliner. “I taught a music class at Wagner College for a semester. Soon as I met Eddie, I knew he’d be a good match for Hope.”
Brooklyn studied Jordan’s face as he spoke. There was a sadness in his eyes that she recognized.
“I love kids,” Eddie explained. “Jordan brought little Luke here to school with him one day.”
“I needed a babysitter,” Erica explained. “Jordan is Luke’s godfather.”
“Of course!” Brooklyn said, smiling.
“I had to work late one night, so Jordan picked him up from daycare and took him to class with him that day.”
She smiled at Luke as he crawled around on the floor playing with the dog.
“Luke wouldn’t cooperate,” Jordan said. “He wouldn’t sit still, kept making noise. So, Eddie stepped in and the next thing I knew, Luke was sitting with Eddie in a corner of the classroom coloring. I don’t even know where Eddie found crayons that day!”
Eddie laughed. “Me either! Probably in one of the art classes. All I know is me and Luke became best friends after that. Jordan told me I should meet Hope. That was how it started.”
Erica watched Brooklyn’s face as Hope and Eddie regaled her with the story of their romance. She could tell that Brooklyn was happy for her sister, but also that she felt bad that she had missed out on so much of her life. Brooklyn proudly showed off her tattoo on her left wrist of the cross bearing Amir’s initials.
“I take him with me everywhere I go,” she said.
“Brooklyn, where have you been?”
Hope’s voice was sweet and held no malice as she asked it. She stared at her sister, whom she had always admired and resented in equal measure, and wondered what life had been like for her.
“Everywhere,” Brooklyn said. “And nowhere at the same time. After Amir’s funeral, I vowed not to come back here. I lived in Harlem for a few years. Then in Maryland for a while.” She spared them the sordid details. “I made a lot of friends, then I managed to turn all of them into enemies. I got depressed, started drinking too much, feeling sorry for myself. Made some stupid decisions. I came home looking for … I don’t know what I was looking for.”
Jordan did. Erica had told him all about her conversation with Brooklyn on the phone the day prior. He smirked, cynically, as he listened to her.
“How have you been surviving?” he asked.
Brooklyn looked at Erica and wondered again how much she knew about the circumstances surrounding her departure. She decided that it didn’t matter anymore. This was rock bottom.
“Back in high school, I was messing around with Alonzo. He was giving me money to go uptown and buy drugs for him. When I ran away, I went to the people I’d met uptown, sought shelter with them. I fell in love.”
Jordan recalled seeing the man with Brooklyn at Amir’s gravesite on the day of his funeral. He imagined that was who Brooklyn was referring to.
“We were a team for a while. But I didn’t want to hustle forever. I got my license in cosmetology, and I was gonna start a business. But instead of staying focused, I got distracted by the life. The adrenaline rush, the money, the power. Before I knew it, my license had expired, and I was just a hustler without a plan. So, I panicked. I made a move that got me kicked out of my adopted family. Then I tried to find refuge in a friend. But I ended up doing to her the same thing I do to everybody else. I let her down. I did what felt good to me, what helped me numb the pain, and I didn’t think about how it would affect her. So, she threw me out. I’ve been sleeping in my car, at motels. Just trying to survive.”
Hope was crying silently while Eddie rubbed her leg, comfortingly.
“Mom was right,” Brooklyn said. “I don’t deserve a penny of Daddy’s money. Not after everything I did. But I’m down to nothing. I have no place else to go. So, I came home.”
“You did the right thing,” Hope said.
Erica nodded in agreement.
Jordan and Eddie locked eyes. Both sat quietly.
“What’s your plan now?” Erica asked. “Now that you’re back.”
“I don’t have one,” Brooklyn admitted. “Not a good one, anyway. Tonight, I’m going to check into a hotel and get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, who knows?”
“You don’t have to stay in a hotel. You can stay with me,” Erica offered. My apartment is small, but my couch is comfortable.”
“Don’t be silly,” Eddie said. “You can stay here. We have plenty of room.”
Brooklyn shook her head. “I appreciate the offer. But I’m not down to my last dollar yet. I have enough to afford a room for the night. That’s all I can focus on for now. I just want to get through tonight. It’s been a rough and emotional day. I found out my father is dead, got rejected by my mother again, and now I’m reuniting with you guys for the first time since we were kids. I just want one night to sit in a bathtub, close my eyes, and think. Tomorrow, I’ll wake up and try again.”
Jordan sat forward in his seat. “I became really close to your father before he passed.”
Brooklyn was surprised to hear that. “How did that happen?”
“Hope.” Jordan smiled at her. “After Amir’s funeral, she came to check on me every day for a whole year. She prayed with me, told me what was going on with your family, asked me to tell her stories about Amir.”
Hope smiled, recalling those days. “We became family then. To me, it was like Amir never left. He wasn’t with us physically. But when we got together and talked about him, it felt like he was with us in spirit. Like he pulled up a seat and joined us in those moments.”
“I was lonely,” Jordan said. “Hope had no idea that she was my only friend at that time. There was nobody else I could talk to about what I was going through. Nobody knew I was gay. I was only myself when I was with Amir. Hope came around and got me through the hardest days of my life. Then your father had a stroke, and I got the chance to return the favor.”
“I cried on Jordan’s shoulder so many times I think I left a dent in it,” Hope said.
“One night, after visiting hours were over, Hope snuck me into your father’s hospital room, and we talked. Pastor wasn’t thrilled to see me at first. But he listened. Maybe he had no choice. But he listened to me talking about Amir and what he meant to me. I told him how much Amir loved him and how desperate he was to please him. And I apologized. I told Pastor how sorry I was for what happened, sorry that he lost his son. He cried. I did, too. He couldn’t really talk, but I understood him when he told me that he was sorry, too.”
Brooklyn nodded.
“It’s never too late for forgiveness. It’s not the easiest thing to do. But it’s the right thing. I think Mom will come around,” Hope said.
“She has to. I need that money. Daddy wanted me to have it. It’s not her choice to make.” Brooklyn could still hear her mother’s flat, emotionless tone as she spoke to her in the church sanctuary that afternoon. “I’ll take her to court if I have to.”
Jordan’s squinted slightly. “How? I thought you were down to nothing. Lawyers cost money.”
Brooklyn sucked her teeth. “I don’t think it’ll go that far. You know what my mother’s like. For real! Not that fake persona she puts on for the congregation. The real her. She’s all about image and public perception. The last thing she wants is for me to make noise.”
Hope stared at her sister in disbelief. Brooklyn hadn’t changed at all.
“So, you really just came back for the money? Not to try to reconcile with us?”
Brooklyn nodded. “I came back for both.” She looked at Erica. “When I spoke to you yesterday, I thought about what you said. God was calling me home. And then I walked in that church today and the dam broke. All the tears I that poured out of me were the burdens I’ve been carrying since the day I left here. I know that it was all for show. But those words my mother spoke over me in that church today were prophetic. I had no business lying down with pigs when I belonged in a palace. Daddy knew where I belonged. And even though I broke his heart, he made sure that I would be taken care of if I ever remembered who I was and came home.”
