Harlequin Medical Romance July 2021--Box Set 1 of 2, page 18
Willow, Theo and Maisie stepped through the back door of Willow’s beach house and into the kitchen, and Willow pulled a pitcher of lemonade from the refrigerator.
“I can help pour,” Maisie said.
“The pitcher’s too heavy, love. But you can take three big glasses from the cupboard.” She glanced at Theo. “Maisie’s at the age where she loves to help.”
“I can see that,” he replied as Maisie strained to reach the plastic glasses from a high cupboard. “I like to help, too. May I lift you up, Maisie?” He glanced toward Willow, who nodded her permission.
Maisie nodded, too, and Theo lifted her just high enough so that the little girl could take three glasses from the cupboard and set them on the kitchen counter.
“She must like you,” said Willow. “Normally she’s very big on doing things all by herself.”
“I’m told I make a great first impression,” he said, and Willow felt her knees weaken a bit as he smiled again.
She pulled a chair from the kitchen table to steady herself. “Why don’t we sit down? I’m sure you’d welcome the rest after coming such a long way.”
“Thank you.” He sat beside her at the table and sipped his lemonade. “This is very kind of you. I haven’t had anything to drink since the flight.”
“It’s no trouble at all. We Londoners have to look out for one another.”
He waved at the beach outside the kitchen window. “This is a far cry from London.”
“Yes, that was the idea.”
“It’s an interesting choice, to raise a child so far away from home.”
She stiffened. It seemed an awfully forward thing for a solicitor to say. Strikingly attractive or not, this man had no right to judge her decision of where to raise Maisie, even if he was involved in managing Gran’s trust. Willow was the sole person responsible for Maisie’s care, and although she often wished she had more help, one of the benefits of being a single mum was that Willow didn’t have to put up with anyone’s judgment of her parenting. “St. Victoria is our home now,” she replied. “It may be unconventional, but I believe the experiences Maisie has here are far more educational than anything she could get out of an overpriced day care in the city.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” he said. “I simply meant that you do seem to be so far from family, here in the Caribbean.”
“Family?” she said, looking at him quizzically. “What are you talking about? I thought the firm that managed Gran’s trust knew perfectly well that Maisie and I haven’t any other family.”
Now it was his turn to look confused. “Trust?” he said. “What trust?”
“Gran’s trust... Vera Brown’s trust, that she had set up for Maisie before she died. Isn’t that what you’re here to discuss? Aren’t you a solicitor from the firm? A moment ago, when I mentioned the firm, you said they had my old London address.”
“I’m afraid I wasn’t entirely sure what you meant by ‘the firm.’ I thought you might be referring to the fertility clinic. The one you went to...to have Maisie.”
Willow’s stomach went cold.
“I’ve been searching for you for months,” he said. “The clinic gave me your last known address, but it’s been a few years, and it seems you moved a few times. I eventually learned that you lived on St. Victoria, and once I arrived, some helpful locals pointed me to the right beach. They said if I just started walking, I’d run into you eventually.”
She already knew the answer, but she forced the question out, anyway, in a dry whisper. “Why have you been searching for me for months?”
“Because I needed to meet my daughter.”
She shook her head. “You can’t be saying what I think you’re saying.”
“Yes. I’m Maisie’s father.”
CHAPTER TWO
WILLOW SAT AT her kitchen table, head spinning, as she tried to absorb Theo’s words. She couldn’t fit them in her mind in a way that made sense. Maisie didn’t have a father. Maisie had Willow, the way Willow had had Gran when she was growing up. Their family was small, but special. And it did not include a father.
Even though she was sitting, she clutched the edges of the kitchen table to steady herself.
“I’m sure this is a lot to take in,” said Theo. “I did ask the clinic to let you know that I was trying to get in touch, but all of the contact information they had for you was out of date. I suppose that’s not surprising. It has been several years, after all.”
Maternal instinct overrode Willow’s shock, and she stood up and pulled back Maisie’s chair. “Run along and play in your room, love. Mr. Moore and I need to talk.”
“Can I bring my lemonade?”
“Yes, but hold the glass with both hands so you don’t spill.” Maisie took her glass from the table with two sturdy hands, her brow furrowed in concentration as she carried it to her room.
Theo gave Willow a pained expression. “You don’t want her to see me.”
Willow was surprised to feel a twinge of sympathy for this stranger in her kitchen. But she barely knew this man. Even if he were Maisie’s father, she had no intention of letting him near Maisie until she knew a lot more about him. “It’s nothing personal, Mr. Moore. It’s just that I don’t know anything about you, or why you’re here.”
“Please, call me Theo. I know that me showing up here must come as a shock. But I can explain everything—why I’ve showed up here so suddenly, and why I’ve stayed away for so long. Just hear me out, and afterward, if you want me to leave, I’ll go. I’m just asking for a chance.”
He’d kept his voice fairly steady, but as a nurse, Willow was used to listening to people in pain. She hadn’t missed the note of anguish in his voice, and it touched her heart. She didn’t know what had brought this man here, but she could see that, to him, it was a matter of desperate importance.
But she couldn’t imagine what would be so important that he had to be here now, in person, when he’d never bothered to contact her before. Unless... Her heart rose in her throat. The clinic had told her that they’d used sperm from a donor who’d had a history of cancer, but they’d assured her it was nonhereditary. But what if there was some other, newly discovered health problem that Theo had come to warn her about? Something that could affect Maisie? She told herself not to panic. Whatever Theo was so desperate to speak about with her might be important, but there was no reason to assume the worst. Not yet, anyway.
He took a manila envelope from underneath the suit coat he’d been holding. As he moved, she thought she noticed again a slight awkwardness, as though he was used to moving with more bulk. Another worry crossed her mind: Was he here because something had changed with his own health? Had the cancer, perhaps, returned? His skin was so pale. On the beach, she’d thought he had the look of someone recovering from a long illness, and now, as she examined him with a professional eye, she wondered if that illness had been quite recent. Or perhaps was still ongoing. Despite having just met Theo, she felt a pang of concern for him. She might not know him at all, but his hazel eyes seemed so kind. Now that he was sitting across from her, he was close enough that she could make out flecks of gold in them.
Shocked as she was to see him here, she had only to look at him to see that he’d been through some suffering. And yet, she couldn’t help noticing that for all his awkwardness his hands were steady and graceful as he opened the manila envelope and removed several documents. His eyes met hers, and their expression was hopeful, but determined. And he’d come such a long way. It couldn’t hurt, she thought, to at least find out why he was here.
“All right, Mr. Moore,” she said, gently emphasizing her use of his last name. “Why don’t you start by proving that you’re who you say you are.”
His relief was palpable. “Easy enough,” he said, handing her the documents from the envelope.
She took the papers with trembling hands, and spread them before her on the table.
Among other things, there were letters from the fertility clinic where she’d undergone treatments explaining the whole mix-up: how they’d intended to use sperm from a vetted donor, but had accidentally used Theo’s frozen sperm instead. She remembered those letters all too well. She’d received very similar letters herself, with their apologies and explanations.
Willow remembered how shocked she’d been upon first learning that the clinic could make such a mistake. If she’d have wanted to she could have pursued legal action, but in the end, she’d decided that having a healthy baby was all that mattered, all she wanted. She didn’t need to complicate that. And Theo’s choice not to get in touch made that even easier. Once she’d learned that the insemination had been successful, she’d even given the clinic permission to contact Theo. And again, when Maisie was born, she’d given her permission for Theo to meet her. But he’d never responded.
Although she could see that the clinic had followed through: the envelope held a copy of the letter to Theo, informing him that he was the father of a healthy baby girl. There was even a copy of an ultrasound picture that she recognized. She had the original picture, framed, in her bedroom.
Even if Theo hadn’t brought along all of this documentation, Willow would have known that he was telling the truth about being Maisie’s father. All she had to do was look at Maisie. The little girl shared so many features with Theo that seeing him was like seeing the missing pieces of a puzzle. Willow kept her eyes fixed on the documents: there was a copy of a photo ID of Theo, a work badge that identified him as a research oncologist at Regent’s Hospital in London. He had longer hair in the picture, which made the features that he and Maisie shared even more evident. Willow had always thought that Maisie got her wavy hair from her, but the color, a light, sandy brown, was clearly Theo’s. And Maisie’s height—now there was another mystery solved. At three years old, Maisie was already half a head taller than every child in her preschool class, and as she took in Theo’s frame, Willow could see why.
Theo was, indeed, Maisie’s father.
Or at least, he was her biological father. He was a sperm donor, she reminded herself. Not a father.
She looked again at Theo’s work badge from Regent’s Hospital. “You’re an oncologist?”
“Yes. I mainly do research, though I like to work with patients when I can. But there’ve been certain...unexpected changes that made clinical work difficult. In a way, I suppose that’s how this all starts.”
“Go on,” she said.
“About four years ago, I was diagnosed with melanoma. That’s why I froze my sperm in the first place. My doctors advised that I take that step because chemotherapy can sometimes have an effect on fertility. I’ve always known that I wanted to be a father, so freezing my sperm was a safeguard.”
Pieces were beginning to fall into place. She’d known, from the staff at the fertility clinic, that Theo had cancer, but his choosing not to get in touch meant she had no idea how he might have been getting on. And looking at Theo now, it was clear that the cancer wasn’t far behind him. She estimated he was about thirty pounds underweight for his height and frame, and his sandy brown hair was quite short, as though it were just starting to grow back. She couldn’t help feeling sympathetic. Cancer could be devastating, and the treatment took almost as much of a toll on the body as the illness itself.
“When I got the call from the clinic, informing me of the mix-up, I didn’t know how to feel,” he continued. “At first, I was outraged. It was such a grave mistake on their part. But then, as I got used to the idea, I realized that it might be for the best.”
For the best? For a moment, she wondered if the Caribbean heat was affecting him. But then she recalled all the times she’d had that very same thought over the past three years. The mix-up was for the best, because if things had happened any other way, she wouldn’t have Maisie.
But Theo couldn’t have that perspective. He’d barely met Maisie, by his own choice. “How could you think such a serious mistake was for the best?” she asked.
“I know it sounds strange. But I’d always wanted to have children, and at the time, there was no way for me to be certain of whether that would ever happen. It might not have been how I’d ever pictured becoming a father, but it meant the world to me to know that she existed.”
This definitely didn’t fit with the impression of Theo she’d formed over the past three years. She’d pictured a man who wanted to put the clinic’s mistake as far behind him as possible, dealing with the situation by ignoring it, and eager to avoid any commitment she might ask of him. He certainly didn’t need to worry about that: legally, he had no claim to Maisie; his name wasn’t on her birth certificate. His lack of contact with her had informed that decision. Willow needed nothing from him. But he spoke as though Maisie meant everything to him, even though he’d chosen not to know her.
She wondered if she would have felt differently if she’d known he was fighting cancer all this time. But that, she thought, was the heart of the problem. Theo had never reached out to explain his situation at all, until now.
“I wish I had known all this sooner,” she said. “The fertility clinic told me about your medical history, but that didn’t explain why you didn’t reach out. As I never heard from you, even after you’d had two opportunities to be involved, I assumed you either didn’t want a child, or didn’t want Maisie.” She tried to keep the note of accusation out of her voice. She sympathized with Theo’s situation, she really did, but part of her wondered...what kind of man ignored his own child for three years? Even under the most extenuating circumstances?
“I can see why you might think that,” he said, his voice tinged with emotion. “I hadn’t planned to be involved, even though I wanted to be there very much. Staying away from Maisie is one of the biggest regrets of my life.”
“Then why didn’t you ever try to meet her? You could have explained your situation at any time during the past three years.”
He gave an emphatic shake of his head. “No, I couldn’t. It was hard enough being sick. I couldn’t stand the thought of an innocent child—my child—being exposed to that much stress. And if treatment didn’t...go well, then I didn’t want to put my child through the grief of losing a parent.”
He seemed to be trying to speak with a casual air, but Willow noticed the catch in Theo’s voice as he acknowledged the possibility that treatment might not have been successful. There was so much unpredictability over the course of cancer treatment, so many times where all anyone could do was wait to see what happened next. Theo had been afraid for his life, she realized, and he’d had to make a difficult choice.
“I can’t imagine what it would be like, to deal with cancer and then to learn you’d unexpectedly had a child,” she said. “You made the decision you thought was best. So why come here now, after all this time?”
“Because I’m finally in remission. I started looking for you and Maisie as soon as I learned the good news.”
A wave of relief washed over her upon hearing the word remission, and she realized she’d been anxious to know if his treatment had been successful. The relief she felt was real, even though she’d only known him a few moments.
But her thoughts were in turmoil. Everything Theo said was in direct opposition to the assumptions she’d made about him over the past three years. On the rare occasions she’d thought of Theo, it had been with cynicism and some resentment for his complete lack of interest in Maisie. It wasn’t that she necessarily wanted his involvement; it was simply that his apparent dismissal of her daughter amounted to a rejection of the person she held most dear in the world. And now she was learning that his circumstances hadn’t been what she’d thought they were. For if what Theo said was true, then he hadn’t been ignoring Maisie. He’d been trying to protect her.
And now, three years later, he was in remission, and he was here, hoping for...what exactly? Did he expect to have any sort of relationship with Maisie? His next words confirmed her fears.
“I want to get to know my daughter,” he said. “I know I have no legal recourse, but I am her father, and I came here hoping to find some way to be involved in her life.”
She was overtaken by a wave of feelings, including protectiveness toward Maisie, and jealousy at the thought of anyone else involved in their close bond. When she’d become pregnant, she’d never imagined sharing Maisie with anyone else. The thought of having another parent involved in her daughter’s life was completely at odds with everything she’d envisioned for the future. She certainly hadn’t imagined having to deal with a man she barely knew arriving, unannounced, and declaring himself the father of her child. Not someone who, while pale and underweight, also had a devastatingly handsome smile and a pair of clear, hazel eyes that reminded her of the green and gold pebbles in the tide pools on the beach outside her home.
But no matter how interesting Theo’s eyes were, his presence on the island would only be distracting for her, and for Maisie. Theo was a complicating factor that they didn’t need.
Her life was proceeding just as she’d planned, and she didn’t need any surprises now. Theo was right: he had no legal standing as Maisie’s father. His name wasn’t on her birth certificate. If she told him to leave, he’d have to go.
But Theo seemed so hopeful, and he’d been through so much. A part of her wished she could tell him that after all he’d been through, of course he was welcome into her and Maisie’s lives. But however much she might sympathize with his situation, it didn’t change the consequences of his decision. She had to think of her daughter first. Theo Moore was, by his own choice, a complete stranger to Maisie, despite their biological connection.
Still, he’d been in such an awful position, suffering all the uncertainty that came with facing a deadly illness. She didn’t want to crush him completely, especially when he’d been in such a hard situation. She decided to let him down as gently as possible.
