Heinlein, Robert A - Time Enough for Love, page 68
(How to tell her? How much to tell her? But I must make her believe me.) “Your church would call it sinful.”
“I don’t give a fig for the church! Theodore, I’m not devout; I’m a freethinker, like Father. Church is a good atmosphere for children—and gives me a proper appearance as a respectable wife and mother—that’s all! ‘Sin’ would not stop me; I don’t believe in sin the way the church means it. Sex isn’t sin, sex is never sin. What would stop me would he a chance of getting pregnant by someone other than Brian—but I am pregnant. That you ere my half brother didn’t cause me a moment’s fret; it just made me more anxious to tell you a warrior’s good-bye.”
“Maureen, I’m not your half brother.”
“Are you sure? Even if you’re not, you are still my warrior—I was as proud as Father when you volunteered.”
“I’m your warrior, be sure of that. But I need to know something. This man Nancy may marry— Is he a Howard?”
“What did you say?”
“Is he on the approved list of the Ira Howard Foundation?”
He heard her catch her breath. “Where did you hear of the Foundation?”
‘“Life is short—’”
“‘But the years are long,’ “ she answered.
“ ‘Not “While the Evil Days Come Not.”’”
“Goodness! I— I think I’m going to cry again!”
“Stop it. What is the young man’s name?”
“Jonathan Weatheral.”
“—of the Weatheral-Sperling line. Yes, I remember. Maureen, I am not ‘Ted Bronson.’ I am Lazarus Long of the Johnson Family. Your family. I am descended from you.”
For several moments she seemed not to breathe. Then she said softly, “I think I am losing my mind.”
“No, my gallant love, you have as strong and sane a mind as I have ever met. Let me explain because I must tell you something and you must believe me. Have you read a novel by Mr. Herbert George Wells called The Time Machine?”
“Why, yes. Father has a copy.”
“That’s me, Maureen. Captain Lazarus Long, Time Traveler.”
“But that book— I thought it was just a…a—”
“Just a story. It is. But it won’t stay that way. Oh, not quite the way Mr. Wells visualized it. But that’s what I am, a visitor from a future time. I didn’t intend to let anyone suspect this; that’s why I claimed to be a foundling. Not only is it hard to prove, but any attempt would interfere with my purpose which is simply to visit this time and observe it. Might even get me locked up as crazy. So I’ve been careful to keep my mask on, as careful as—well, as you are. In talking to those Simpsons. In not letting your children see you cry. You and I do it the same way. Audacity…plus never telling lies we can be caught in.”
“Theodore, I think you believe this.”
“Meaning that I sound sincere but must be crazy.”
“No, no, dear, I— Yes, that’s what I meant. I’m sorry.”
“No reason to be sorry; it does sound crazy. But I’m not afraid that you will have me sent to St. Joe; I’m as safe with you as you are with me. But I must find some way to convince you that I am telling the truth…because I am about to tell you something you must believe. Or I have dropped my mask to no point.”
He stopped to think. How to prove it? Some prediction? It would have to be very short range to serve the only purpose he had in breaking cover. But he hadn’t briefed himself on this year; he hadn’t intended to arrive until 1919 and knew so little about the years before 1919 that he had even mixed up the date that the United States got into this war. Lazarus, damn your sloppy ways, the next time you make a time trip you’re going to memorize everything about the era that Athene can give you—and a wide margin on both sides!
Woodie’s memories were no help; Lazarus did not even recall having been taken to Electric Park by a sergeant in uniform. Self-centered brat! Electric Park he remembered; Woodie Smith had gone there many times. But no visit stood out in his mind.
“Maureen, maybe you can think of some way I can prove to you that I’m from the future—something that will convince you. But this is why I had to tell you: Brian—your husband, my ancestor—will come back unharmed. He’s going to go through battles. Shells will fall around him, shots will whistle past his ears—but none will touch him.”
Mrs. Smith gasped. Then she said slowly, “Theodore how do you know?”
“Because you two are my ancestors. I couldn’t memorize the Foundation’s records on all the Howards of today but I did study the files on my own ancestors, ones I might have a chance to meet. You. Brian. Brian’s parents in Cincinnati. And I figured out that Brian must have met you because he had attended Rolla, then found you on a Missouri list of eligibles—not the Ohio list—that the Foundation gave him. That’s certainly something I didn’t learn from you or Brian or Ira, and your children probably don’t know it. Well, perhaps Nancy does; she’s filled out her own questionnaire. Hasn’t she?”
“Why, yes, months ago. Then it is true, Theodore. Or should I call you ‘Lazarus’?”
“Call me anything you like, darling. But I still haven’t proved anything. Just that I have had access to the Foundation’s files—which might have been last year, not in the future. We’re still looking for proof. Mmm…I know a proof for a few months from now—but I must make you believe me tonight. So you will have no more tears on your pillow. And I don’t know how.”
He caressed her thighs, touched her curls. “Here inside you is proof that won’t show up in time. This last baby Brian put into your sweet belly— He’s a boy, dearest ancestress, and you and Brian will name him ‘Theodore Ira’—which flatters me enormously. When I read his name in the records, I didn’t know that he was my namesake, as I hadn’t picked my assumed name then.”
She squeezed his hand with her thighs and sighed. “I want to believe you. But suppose Brian wants to name him Joseph? Or Josephine?”
“‘Josephine’ is not a name for a boy. Darling, Brian will name his war baby for the other two stars on your service flag; this war means a lot to him. He’ll probably suggest it himself—I don’t know. I just know that ‘Theodore Ira’ is the name you will register with the Foundation. My other ancestors— Adele Johnson, of course, your mother and Ira’s wife. Lives in St. Louis. Left him around the time you got married but didn’t divorce him—which probably irked him; I don’t think Ira is a man to be celibate simply because his wife leaves but Won’t turn him loose.”
“He’s not, dear. I’m certain Father has a—well, a mistress, and goes to see her some nights when he is supposed to be at that ‘chess club’—and it’s not a chess club; it’s a pool hall. I go along with the pretense because he calls it that in front of the children.”
“He does play chess there.”
“Father plays a fine game of billiards, too. Go ahead, darling—Lazarus. I’m willing to believe. Maybe we’ll find something.”
“Well, I don’t think I’ll look up your mother; I don’t think I would get along with a woman who thinks sex is something to ‘put up with.’”
“I got along with Mother only by lying to her. Father reared me far more than she did. I was his favorite. He let it show, which is why I’m careful not to let it show with Wood-row. Go on, Theodore. Lazarus.”
“That’s all of my ancestors you are related to. Except one. Our stowaway. Maureen, I’m descended from you and Brian through Woodie.”
She gasped. “Really? Oh, I hope it’s true!”
“True as taxes, beloved. And it may have saved his life. I’ve never been closer to infanticide than I was when we found him in the back seat.”
She giggled. “Darling, I felt the same way. But I won’t let anger show in my voice even if I’m about to switch a child.”
“I hope I didn’t show anger. But I felt it. Beloved, I was so hard I ached—until we found Woodrow. Honey love, I was rarin’ to go!”
“And I was just as ready! Oh, Theodore—Lazarus—it’s so sweet to be open with you. Uh…yes, you’re quite hard now.”
“Easy there!—don’t make me climb the curb. I have been ever since we left the house except when I forced it down. But the one Woodie ruined was bigger and better.”
“Size isn’t important, Theodore-Lazarus; a woman must fit any size. Father told me that long ago and taught me exercises for it—and I never told Brian; I let him think that was simply how I am—and accepted his compliments smugly. I still exercise regularly—because my birth canal has been stretched again and again and again by babies’ skulls and if I didn’t exercise those muscles I would be, in Father’s salty language, ‘loose as a goose.’ And I do so want to stay desirable to Brian as many years as possible.”
“And to the iceman and the milkman and the postman— and the boy who drives the grocery wagon.”
“Tease. I’d like to stay young there till I die.”
“You will, you eighteen-year-old prospective grandmother. Let’s get our minds off sex and back to time travel; I’m still looking for a proof. So that you will know why I am certain that Brian came back okay. But to stop your worry it must be something that happens soon and certainly before Woodie’s birthday.”
“Why Woodrow’s birthday?”
“Didn’t I get that far? This war ends on Woodie’s next birthday, the eleventh of November.” He added, “I’m certain of that, it’s a key date in history. But I’m racking my brain for some event between now and then—as soon as possible, to stop your worries. But—oh, shucks, dear, I made a silly mistake. I meant to arrive after this war is over. But I gave my computer one critical figure with an error in it—just a little one, but it made me arrive three years too soon. Not her fault; she accepts any data I give her, and she’s as accurate a computer as ever conned a ship. Not a fatal error, either; I’m not lost in time, my ship will pick me up in 1926 exactly ten Earth years after she dropped me. But that’s why I didn’t study the history of the next few months; I expected to skip this war. I’m not studying Wars; histories are full of wars. I’m studying how people live.”
“Theodore…I’m confused.”
“I’m sorry, darling. Time travel is confusing.”
“You speak of a computer, and I’m not sure what you mean…and you said ‘she’ conns—whatever that means—a ship that will pick you up…in 1926? And I don’t understand any of it.”
Lazarus sighed. “That’s why I never intended to tell anyone. But I had to tell you—so that you could stop worrying. My ship is a spaceship—like Jules Verne, only more so. A starship, I live on a planet a long way off. But it is a timeship, too; she travels in both space and time and it’s too complicated to explain. The computer is the ship’s brain—a machine, a very complex machine. My ship is named ‘Dora’ and the machine, the computer, that conns it—runs it—steers it—is called Dora, too; that’s the name she answers to when I speak to her. She’s a very intelligent machine and can talk. Oh, there is a crew, two of my sisters—so of course they are descended from you, too, and they look like you. A crew is necessary— can’t let a ship go running around by itself—except automatic freighters on precalculated runs—but Dora does the hard work, and Laz and Lor—Lapis Lazuli Long and Lorelei Lee Long—tell Dora what to do and let her do it.” He squeezed Mrs. Smith’s thigh and grinned. “If that air blast bad kept your skirts up two seconds longer, I would know more about how closely they resemble you—as they usually run around naked. They look like you in the face. Bodies, too, from that too-short glimpse of your lovely legs. Except that Laz and Lor are freckled all over as solidly as Marie is on her face.”
“I’d be that freckled if I didn’t stay out of the sun. When I was Marie’s age Father called me ‘Turkey Egg.’ But all over? They don’t wear any clothes?”
“Oh, they enjoy fancy dress for parties. Or the weather might be cold—but it rarely is; we live in a climate like southern Italy. They don’t wear anything very often.” Lazarus smiled and caressed her thigh. “They don’t need to leave their bloomers home to be ready for lovemaking; they don’t own any bloomers. They aren’t a bit shy. They would be delighted to trip your father; they like older men—they’re much younger than I am.”
“Lazarus…how old are you?”
Lazarus hesitated. “Maureen, I don’t want to answer that. I’m older than I look; Ira Howard’s experiment was successful. Instead let me tell you about my family. Your family, too; we all are descended from you by one line or another. Two of my wives and one of my co-husbands are descended both from Nancy and from Woodie.”
“‘Wives? Co-husband?’”
“Sweetheart, marriage takes many forms. Where I live you don’t need a divorce or a death to gather in someone you love. I have four wives and three co-husbands—and my sisters, Laz and Lor…and they may marry out of the family or they may stay—and don’t look startled; you said you didn’t fret when you thought I was your half brother—and don’t worry about harm to babies; they know far more about such things at that when-&-where-than they do in the here-&-now. We don’t risk harm to babies.
“Of which we have plenty. And cats and dogs and anything a child can pet and take care of. It’s a real family in a house to fit a big family.
“I can’t tell you about each one; we’ve got to get our stowaway home. But I want to tell you about one—because you’ve been insisting that you don’t look eighteen—merely because you’ve been using your breasts to feed babies. Tamara. Descended from you through Nancy and her Jonathan— Want to hear about Nancy’s umpty-ump granddaughter? Tamara is about two hundred and fifty years old, I think—”
“Two hundred and fifty!”
“Yes. One of my co-husbands, Ira Weatheral, also from Nancy and Jonathan but from Woodie, too—and named for your father, not for Ira Howard—is over four hundred years old. Maureen, Ira Howard’s experiment worked; we have longer life-spans—inherited from you and all our Howard ancestors—but also in that when-&-where they know how to rejuvenate a person. Tamara has had two rejuvenations—one recently and looks as young as you do. Real rejuvenation— Tamara was pregnant when I left.
“But how she looks is not important; Tamara is a healer— and I suspect she gets it from you.”
“Theodore—Lazarus—again I don’t understand. A healer? Like a faith healer?”
“No. If Tamara has a religious faith, she has never mentioned it. Tamara is calm and happy and serene, and anyone around her feels it so strongly—just as with you, darling!— that he or she is happy, too. If people are ill, they get well faster if Tamara touches them, or talks to them, or sleeps with them.
“But Tamara was not young when I met her. She was quite old and thinking about letting it go at that, dying of old age. But I was ill, very ill, sick in my soul—and Ishtar, later my wife and the topnotch rejuvenator in all the Milky Way, went out and fetched Tamara. Tamara. Little round potbelly, breasts that were really baggy, sags under her eyes, and her chin, all the old-age things.
“Tamara healed the sickness in my soul, just by being with me…and somehow this renewed her own interest in life, and she took another rejuvenation and is young again and has already added another baby to the Maureen-Nancy line and is pregnant still again. You and Tamara are so much alike, Maureen; she’s just love with some skin around it— and so are you. But—” Lazarus paused and frowned.
“Maureen, I don’t know how to convince you that I’m telling the truth. You’ll know it when Woodie’s sixth birthday comes around and they blow every whistle and ring every bell and the newsboys shout: ‘Extra! Extra! Germany surrenders!’ But that’ll be too late to help you. I want to stop your worries now!”
“I’ve stopped worrying, dear one. It sounds wonderful and impossible…and I believe you.”
“Do you? I’ve offered no proof; I’ve told you a tale impossible on the face of it.”
“Nevertheless, I believe it. When Woodrow is six on the seventh of November—”
“No, the eleventh!”
“Yes, Lazarus. But how did you know that his birthday is the eleventh?”
“Why, you told me yourself.”
“Dear, I said be was born in November; I did not say what day. Then I deliberately misstated it—and you corrected me at once.”
“Well, maybe Ira told me. Or one of the children. Most likely Woodie himself.”
“Woodrow does not know the date of his birthday. Wake him and ask him.”
“I’d rather not wake him until we get home.”
“What is my birthday, dear one?”
“The Fourth of July, 1882.”
“What is Marie’s birthday?”
“I think she is nine. I don’t know the date.”
“The other children?”
“I’m not sure.”
“My father’s birthday?”
“Maureen, is there some point to this? August second, 1852.”
“Beloved Lazarus who calls himself ‘Theodore,’ I have a firm rule with my children. I keep each one from knowing the date of his birth as long as possible so that he won’t advertise it and thereby blackmail people for presents. When one is old -enough for school and needs to know the date, he is old enough to be told why, and I make it bluntly plain that if he drops hints ahead of time-no birthday cake, no birthday party. I haven’t had to use that penalty; they are all intelligent.
“Last year Woodrow was too young for it to be a problem; his birthday came as a surprise to him. He still does not know the exact date—so I strongly believe. Lazarus, you know the birthdays of your direct ancestors…because you looked them up in the Foundation records. Since you can’t tell me the birthdays of my other children, I assume that I’ve found that proof.”
