Made to Love, page 16
Mason didn’t bring attention to the long silence this time. She knew Nikki was working through some things, and until she was ready to talk about it, Mason respected her privacy. “I’m not sure. It would probably be boring for someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” Nikki nodded understandably. “I’m not Marly; you mean.”
“No, that’s not what I meant at all.” Mason turned left onto Main Street and parallel parked in the first empty spot she saw. She shut off the engine and stared straight ahead. “This isn’t starting off so well, is it?”
Nikki shook her head from side-to-side. “But it’s my fault. You are such a sweet woman. You have gone out of your way to impress me, which is nice, but not necessary. I’m sorry I gave you the impression that I needed fancy. Right now, I think I just need someone who cares about me and not what I look like on their arm. Let’s face it; I’m a glorified boy toy.” Nikki stopped Mason before she could disagree. “It’s okay. It’s the truth, and while it hurts, it’s what my life has been for years. It wasn’t an issue before, because no one was worth caring about. But now that I’m with you, there is a mirror in front of me, and I see what I’ve become, and let me tell you, I don’t like myself much right now.”
Mason toyed with the keys then leaned her head against the seat rest. “Maybe you just needed the right person to show you what you forgot about yourself. To remind you that all the good is still there, you just have to let her out.”
Nikki shrugged noncommittally. “Maybe; I don’t know. Can we just have fun tonight? No conditions. No guarantees. No talking about the future. Can we just be for tonight? That is the only way I’m going to be able to keep the smile on my face.”
“Of course, yeah. That’s how I want it anyway.” It was a small white lie, but the relieved look on Nikki’s face told Mason it was the right thing to do. She came around and opened Nikki’s door, holding her hand as she helped her from the car. “I’m all about a good time.”
Nikki’s self-deprecating laugh was the only sign she gave that a good time was all she thought she had to offer. She slipped her arm through Mason’s and fell in step beside her. “So, tell me about this amazing burger.”
Mason recognized the quick change of topic and knew that any talk about where they were headed was off the table, at least for now. “I won’t promise it’s anything like the fancy dinners you probably eat, but it will do in a pinch.” Mason opened the door to the Farmhouse Tap and Grill. Inside, the restaurant looked like a fraternity reunion. Mason hoped they could accommodate a party of two without a long wait. She gave their name to the hostess, and bit back a look of surprise when they were shown to a table immediately. “That’s the fastest I’ve ever gotten in here.”
Nikki laid her purse down and let Mason help her with her chair. “Thanks.” She let her gaze roam around the dining area before she smiled at Mason. “This looks like someplace I wouldn’t have been caught dead in when I was in school. Too many jocks and nerds here. I was more the you know type.”
Mason shook her head. “No, what type?”
Nikki rolled her eyes and smiled awkwardly. She held her thumb and forefinger in front of her mouth and inhaled loudly. “You know…”
“Oh.” Realization dawned on Mason slowly. As a kid in college, she tried pot once or twice. It never seemed as fun as her friends made it look. “It was never really my thing.”
“It’s not anymore; I gave it up a long time ago. But years ago, that’s another story.” Nikki paused when a waiter showed up at their table and she ordered a water.
Mason narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, but didn’t question the choice. She was sure Nikki had her reasons. She ordered a Coke and asked for a few more minutes. She flipped her menu open and stole glances at Nikki over the top as she pretended to scan her choices.
“Do I have something on my face?” Nikki didn’t look up from her menu, but the small smile on her face let Mason know she knew she was being watched.
“Uh, no. I was just…”
“Wondering why on earth you asked someone with purple hair out on a date?”
“No.” Mason chuckled. “I was wondering how one family could produce so many gorgeous children.”
Nikki batted her eyes demurely. “Lucky, I guess. Though I probably wouldn’t say I was gorgeous. I just do the best I can with what I have.”
The smile on Nikki’s face made her even more beautiful, at least to Mason. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that if you get a compliment, you are supposed to just smile and say thank you?”
Nikki smiled sarcastically. “Thank you.” She dropped her eyes back to her menu and scanned the choices quickly. She finished and set it off to the side. “What about you? Any more gorgeous specimens in your family?”
Mason snorted. “I’m not sure if you’ve had your eyes checked lately, but I am far from…” The look on Nikki’s face stopped Mason dead in her tracks. She smiled guiltily. “Thank you. Actually, I have a younger sister. She’s the one with the looks. Tall like me, but long blond hair and more curvy. She was always the one that got attention when we were growing up.” Unlike Mason, who on the rare occasion that her mother paid attention to her, it was to give her the list of things she was currently doing wrong. “And I got told what I was doing wrong all the time.”
Nikki watched a dark cloud pass over Mason’s face. She knew there were things Mason wasn’t sharing with her. In all fairness, Nikki wasn’t sharing everything with her. “Doing wrong? How rotten were you?”
Mason opened her mouth to respond just as the waiter returned to the table. She motioned for Nikki to go first then followed up with her order. When they were alone again, Mason laughed. “Who knew you were a blue cheese fan?”
“Oh, I love it! I’m a dairy freak. Don’t take me anywhere near ice cream. Promise?”
“Promise.” Mason saluted solemnly as she said the word.
“Anyway, back to your delinquent, ill-spent youth…”
“Oh, yeah. I was not half as bad as my mom made me out to be. Shelley, that’s my sister Michelle, was the bad one. Mom never let herself see just how much trouble Shelley was always in. I thought when Shelley got pregnant, things might change, but actually, it got worse. I was never the daughter she wanted me to be. I was too much of a tomboy. She wanted a girl who wore dresses and played tea party and let her curl her hair. All I wanted was to ride my bike, play sports and be a boy. When I came out, you could see the disappointment on her face. She never said it directly, but I could feel it in every interaction we had. I think the last straw was following Dad in his career. A woman welder wasn’t something that my mom would accept. When Shelley had the baby, it was painfully obvious that I was the outsider, so I did what Mom wanted all along. I disappeared.”
“That’s awful. I can at least say our family has been pretty good about Lex and me, aside from the constant comments about giving them grandkids. I know I disappoint my parents with my choices, but they never say anything negative.”
“You’re lucky.” Mason paused as their drinks were delivered, taking a sip before she continued talking. “What was it like growing up with all those people around? Lex swears it was chaos.”
Nikki shook her head reminiscently. “It was chaos, but it was fun, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. You’ve seen videos of the trading floor at the New York Stock Exchange, right? It was a lot like that. Everyone yelling all the time. Seventeen different conversations going on. The crazy thing is no matter where you were in the room or what the subject was, we could move in and out of conversations without missing a beat. Sometimes, I long for that. And maybe, it’s just that I miss things being simpler, the comforts of knowing that someone is there when you need a hug.”
“Life is only as complicated as we let it be. Maybe it’s your chance to get back to the basics. To embrace what made you happy before. Uncomplicate things.”
“It’s sweet you think it is that simple.” Nikki played with her straw as she spoke. “I guess you could be right.”
“I think so. And I’m right here if you need a hug.”
Nikki laughed at Mason’s lopsided grin. “Be careful being too nice to me. I could get used to a thing like you.”
“I’m hoping you do.” Mason studied Nikki’s face. Her piercing eyes and beautiful features could capture anyone’s attention, and if all they paid attention to was her outer beauty, Mason knew they would miss everything that made Nikki who she was. She realized Nikki hadn’t figured it out yet either, but maybe with Mason’s help, she would. “I sort of like having you around.”
“Flatterer.” Nikki caught the waiter out of the corner of her eye and leaned back as he set down plates of enticing food. She waited until he left before picking up the burger and taking a huge bite. She chewed slowly, savoring the tender flavor of the meat, complimented perfectly with local blue cheese. “Perfect! You were right about this place.”
Mason exhaled as relief washed over her. “I’m right about a lot of things; you'll see.”
“Something tells me you aren’t just talking about food.”
Mason winked cryptically. “Stick with me, kid.”
The rest of dinner was filled with stories of growing pains and first date disasters and before either woman knew it, they were pulling up to the club. Mason shut off the engine and rested her hands on the wheel. “Ready?”
“Yes! I feel like I haven’t danced in ages.” In her excitement, Nikki didn’t wait for Mason to get her door.
Mason shook her head at Nikki’s enthusiasm. She grabbed her hand and held on for dear life as they weaved through the throngs of people. She found herself starting to move to the rhythmic pounding of the music. When they made it to the bar, she ordered a whiskey and Coke for herself and a water for Nikki. When their drinks arrived, she led them toward a table near the dance floor and set their drinks down. She inhaled nervously. “You ready?”
Nikki pecked her on the lips and slid her hands into Mason’s. “Don’t be nervous. Forget about everyone else. They don’t care how you dance. It’s just you and me.”
“Okay.” Mason followed Nikki onto the dance floor and started to move her body, slowly at first, but when she got the rhythm, she got into it. “This isn’t as bad as I thought.”
“I told you. Those lessons must have worked.”
“I guess there isn’t much that you can’t learn from a video game.” Mason had to shout over the music, so she decided to avoid conversation and let her body do the talking. She stepped behind Nikki and put her hands on her hips and started to move with her. As they danced, she narrowed the distance between them, and soon her hips were flush with Nikki’s bottom. Mason felt her pulse quicken each time Nikki touched the seam of her jeans. She slid her arms around Nikki’s waist and brushed her lips against the nape of her neck. Mason didn’t need to hear her moan; she felt the way her body melted into hers. By the time a slow song came on, Mason had found her groove and had no trouble keeping up with the sway of Nikki’s body. She turned Nikki around slowly and pulled her arms around her neck, dragging her palms down her sides as she pulled Nikki close to her. Everything about the moment felt right. Her body reacted just as it should, her pulse raced and her clit thrummed with excitement. But the one part of her that should be engaged was a million miles away and no matter how much she told herself to focus on the now, she couldn’t wrest her mind back to the tiny dance floor or the beautiful woman in her arms.
Nikki wasn’t sure how she knew something was off. Everything seemed as it should. She was wrapped around a beautiful woman who was showing her just how good the other half was. Their bodies moved together in an unspoken rhythm that felt as good as anything had in a long time. She couldn’t see Mason’s face or even hear the thoughts in her head. Instead, she sensed Mason holding back. She wasn’t sure if it was the slight stiffness in her body or the fact that she hadn’t really kissed her since that night. Maybe she was reading too much into it. It was her nature, after all, to be suspicious of everyone and everything. Nikki tried to shake it off. Mason moved slowly when it came to dating. She sensed a wariness about her, a hold on the gentle manner of earlier times, when a man took time to woo a woman and didn’t just hop into bed at the first chance that arose. Mason was a gentleman in that regard. Everything she had done to win Nikki over showed the respect she had for women. Nikki buried her face in Mason’s neck and smiled. She hadn’t been courted in a long time, and Nikki realized she enjoyed the feeling. It was something she’d seen her father do throughout he and her mother’s marriage. At the time, it seemed meaningless to her, but now, as the recipient of the attention, it felt wonderful.
Mason felt Nikki’s arms tighten around her neck, and she couldn’t help smiling. No matter where her mind was, Nikki had the ability to draw her back in without even trying. She closed her eyes and tried to just be in the moment, but every time she did, her mind raced away, and she remembered another time she held a woman this close. It felt like a lifetime ago to Mason, but her body hadn’t forgotten the emotions that she evoked. Again, Mason forced herself to focus on just the woman in her arms, and it worked for a while. When the song ended, she held Nikki a beat longer. She knew letting her go meant breaking the connection she yearned for. She gestured with her head toward the table and pulled Nikki off the dance floor. She sipped her mostly-full drink then leaned toward Nikki. “Are you having fun?”
“Mmhmm. You?”
Mason hesitated then nodded affirmatively. “Anywhere with you is fun.”
If Nikki noticed her delay, she didn’t show it. “Let’s move this date to someplace quieter.”
“Okay.” Mason hid her surprise. They hadn’t been there more than forty-five minutes, but Nikki was ready to leave. Maybe she wasn’t having a good time after all. Mason’s old feelings of self-doubt started to kick in. Despite all her efforts, it was clear she wasn’t enough to keep Nikki satisfied. When they reached the quietness of the car, she shot Nikki a forlorn smile. “I’m sorry. This doesn’t compare at all to the dates you are used to.”
“No, it doesn’t.” Nikki put her seatbelt on and faced forward. “It’s a thousand times better. All of those women had gobs of money that they could throw around on me. They gave me everything I could possibly want. But they never gave me the thing I needed - love. Mason, you are showing me that the little things mean so much more than fancy jewelry or exotic trips, because you care. That’s something I’ve never had before, and it feels good.”
Mason let Nikki’s words sink in as she drove away from the club. She did care or she wouldn’t be here. She pulled Nikki’s hand into hers and kissed the top of it before she let them rest on her thigh. “Tell me about your first love.”
“Oh, wow, I hadn’t thought about that in ages.” Nikki leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes. “It was my freshman year in high school. My mom had this idea that we needed to fit in. She said I had to pick an activity to participate in. She was tired of me hanging out with the hoods, skipping class and smoking all the time. I picked the stupidest thing I could. I figured if I hated it and made mom miserable in the process, she would let me quit. I joined the chess team.”
Mason snorted and was rewarded with a pinch on her thigh.
“I was actually pretty good, once I gave it a fair chance. Jennifer Nelson. That was my first love. She was captain of the chess team and so nerdy it hurts to even think about it. I guess I have a soft spot for girls in glasses. For some reason, she looked past my bullshit exterior and made it her mission to teach me to play. Somewhere between the Ruy Lopez and the Berlin Defense, I fell hard for her.”
“Let me guess, you were her star pupil, and she set up tons of private lessons for you.”
Nikki laughed heartily. “I wish. No, I’m afraid the love affair was entirely one-sided. She only had eyes for the band geeks. Last I heard, she was married to a sax player, raising four kids. No, my first love wasn’t romantic or even memorable, except to me.”
“Isn’t that all that matters?”
“I suppose. What about you?”
Mason turned onto the small two-lane road that led back to the ranch. “I think I was still sucking on a pacey when I had my first crush.”
“You would. You’re like a cradle heart-breaker or something. How can I ever live up to the string of women you’ve been with?”
Mason could tell Nikki was teasing, but she felt the need to clarify that she hadn’t been with many women at all in her life. “There haven’t been as many as you think.”
Nikki stared at Mason’s profile in the dim glow of the car. “So, it’s not 104?”
“Ha.” Mason’s laughter filled the car. Try one of those digits.”
“Zero?”
“A bit more than that. I’ve had four relationships. The first crush, which didn’t pan out, was on a much older woman. I was five. She was six. I remember tearing through the neighborhood chasing after her. She had long brown hair and blue eyes and a mischievous streak in her that made for some interesting shenanigans. They moved away shortly after we moved into the house, and I never saw her again.”
“Are you counting that in your four?” Nikki’s teasing tone hid the fact that she was actually worried about having to say how many woman she’d been with. It was definitely in the double digits, and if she counted one-night stands, it was way more than four. “Please tell me you’re not.”
