Made to Love, page 11
“Yeah, I’m good like that.” Mason grabbed a small gift bag out of the back seat then checked the display on her phone. “Lex sent me a text with their new room number. Where is that darn thing?” Carefully, she walked and scrolled through her texts.
“Isn’t it illegal to walk and text in Vermont?”
“Funny.” Mason growled quietly. “Don’t make me tie you to the top of the car for being obstina…” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Mason hit the curb with her foot and tripped forward, launching her phone and the gift bag into the air. “Oomph.” Mason barely touched the ground before she jumped back up and looked around quickly.
“Told ya.” Marly dusted off Mason’s phone and handed it back to her. “I think it survived.”
“Thanks.” Mason hid her face in her phone so the embarrassment didn’t show. A natural klutz anyway, her proclivity for clumsiness was showing itself in spades lately. “I found it. They’re on the 5th floor.”
Marly fell in step beside Mason and watched her out of the corner of her eye. “So, you obviously haven’t been walking long.”
“Zip it.” Mason glared at Marly, but couldn’t help herself from smiling. “My mom used to say I could walk down the hall and trip over air. That takes mad skills.”
“Mmhmm. So, your friends…have they been together long?”
“Mm, collectively, about six years.”
“What do you mean?”
“This is their second time around. They were separated for about five years before they got back together last year.” Mason slid through the automatic doors of the elevator and pressed the button for the fifth floor. “They were actually back in Vermont to get divorced, and I guess they realized they still loved each other. It’s kind of sweet.”
“This is their first baby?”
“Second, actually. They lost the first one midway through the pregnancy. It’s kind of what pushed them apart. Seeing them, you just know they should be together, but sometimes people are stubborn and ignore the obvious.”
Marly didn’t answer right away. It was true. She ignored the obvious, but it was because she chose to, not because she was stubborn. There were some truths that she didn’t want to accept. It meant admitting that she had made mistakes, big ones, and the one thing Marly was good at was running. Running didn’t force her to face her demons. She knew it was the scared thing to do. There were times she wondered what it would be like to stop running. Even so, she hadn’t let herself try. So many years had passed, and so much distance had been created that even if she stopped running, she knew she wouldn’t recognize herself. The fear of finally realizing she was alone, and by her own doing, kept her moving, and moving kept her from having to see who she’d become. Because the truth was, she didn’t think she would like herself.
Mason didn’t press for an answer. She had already realized that Marly was fighting her own demons; ones that Mason could only imagine had to do with her mother. She stopped in front of a door and knocked softly.
Seconds later, Lex opened the door and popped her head out. Her face broke into a smile when she saw Mason. “Hey!” Lex opened the door and let them in. “I didn’t think you were coming up here.”
“Well, someone talked me into it. You remember Marly Cabot.”
“Hi, again.” Lex welcomed her with another smile. “You got here just in time. Aspen just finished nursing Alex. Come on.”
“You sure?” Mason hesitated.
“Yes, come on.” Lex grabbed her elbow and pulled her around the curtain. “Look who made it.”
Aspen looked up, and her face broke into a huge smile. “Hey, you. Come look at the most perfect thing I’ve ever made.”
Mason pulled Marly over to the bed and introduced her quickly. “This is Anne’s daughter, Marly. And this is Lex’s better half, Aspen.”
Marly returned Aspen’s smile timidly. Now that she was in the room, she felt out of place. She tried to back up, but Mason held her arm firmly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I hope you don’t mind a stranger busting in on your privacy.”
“Not at all.” Aspen pulled the blanket away from Alex’s face to offer them a better view. “Isn’t he perfect?”
Mason answered first. “Absolutely. Thank God he doesn’t look a thing like Lex.”
“Hey.” Lex looked up from her phone and stuck her tongue out at Mason. “You wish you were as good-looking as me.”
Mason nodded. “True story. A., he’s beautiful.”
“He’s absolutely perfect.” Marly ran her finger along his cheek and laughed when his mouth twitched at her touch.
“Do you want to hold him?”
“Oh no, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Mason stumbled backwards and caught herself on the empty bed behind her.
“Marly?”
Marly nodded her head up and down. “Can I?”
Aspen loosened her grip and let Marly slip her arms under Alex’s body. “Thank you. My arm was starting to go to sleep.”
Marly cradled Alex in the nook of her arm and slipped her finger through his. “When I was younger, Mom would babysit for the lady next door. I was a shit, so I pretended like I didn’t want to help, but I loved holding her. She was such a sweet baby. I would rock her to sleep and then just sit and watch her. Holding Alex brings all that back. I never told my mom how much I liked helping. Now it’s too late.”
Mason rubbed Marly’s shoulder reassuringly. “Tell her now. She’s probably listening.”
“I agree. I talk to my dad and Uncle Neal all the time. It helps me feel close to them.”
Marly looked down awkwardly. “What do you think, Alex? You think my mom knew all along I loved babies?” She smiled when he squeezed her finger reflexively. “I’ll think about it, Mason. You sure you don’t want to hold him?”
“Positive.” Mason waved her palms toward Marly. “There’s plenty of time for that when he’s a little bigger, and I can’t break him.”
Aspen rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to break him. He’s not made of glass.”
“Let’s not take our chances.” Mason grabbed the gift bag from Lex and handed it to Aspen. “It’s nothing big. I wasn’t sure if you were having a boy or a girl, so I got something that would work for both.”
Aspen pulled the tissue paper out and bunched it up on the bed next to her. She pulled out an ornate metal baby rattle. It reminded her of an antique from Victorian times. She ran her fingers over the smooth metal of the narrow handle and up the etched ball, shaking it lightly. It rattled with the movement. “Oh my God, honey, it’s beautiful. You made this.”
Mason looked at the floor, slightly uncomfortable with the attention being focused on her. “I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it.” Aspen shook the rattle once more. She watched Marly with Alex for several seconds before she spoke again. “You can babysit anytime, Marly. I’m completely besotted with him right now, but in a few weeks, I might be ready for a break.”
“Speaking of that…” Lex smiled wryly. “…Ma wants to come up to meet Alex. I told her I’d let her know when it was a good time.”
Aspen groaned loudly. “Maybe she should come next week when my mom and Aunt Ginny are here. When I get tired of everyone, they can all entertain each other.”
“Good thinking.” Lex wandered over and peeked at Alex over Marly’s shoulder. “Sweet baby, you are already quite popular, and you just got here. I can pretty much tell you that my mom has already forgotten who I am. We’ll just let your yaya Maria change all your dirty diapers when she is here. If you’re anything like me, it should bring back memories.”
Marly turned and held Alex out toward Lex. She was getting way too comfortable holding him. Being here with Mason, and her friends and the baby, was starting to feel like home, and that was the last thing she needed.
“Come here.” Lex cradled her son in her arms and leaned in toward him. She ran her finger over his tiny hand. “You’re perfect, you know that, kid. Mason’s right; it’s a good thing you look like your other mommy.
“Quit it, Lex. I think his eyes are going to stay brown like yours. Before you know it, you will have a mini Lex following your every move.”
“Maybe so.”
Mason watched the exchange with a smile. She loved Aspen and Lex like family and couldn’t be happier for them. She caught Marly’s eye and gave a subtle nod toward the door. “We should be going. We’ve got a bit of a drive ahead of us.”
“Thank you for the gift, Mason. I can’t tell you how much we love it.” Aspen sat up and hugged Mason. She smiled at Marly over her shoulder. “Don’t forget, in a few weeks’ time, Alex is all yours.”
“Thanks.” Marly smiled at Lex and Alex. “He really is perfect.”
Mason nudged Lex. “Strong work.”
“Thanks.”
“Call us if you need anything.” Mason opened the door then shut it behind them quietly. She waited until they got in the elevator to talk. “You look pretty comfortable with a kid.”
“Yeah, well, I guess I can still fool some people.”
Mason glanced at Marly’s profile. She knew Marly was downplaying her feelings. She could tell the second Marly pulled Alex into her arms, she was smitten. She didn’t have any of the awkwardness that some people have with newborns. In fact, for those five minutes that she held him, Marly seemed calm and at ease, something Mason hadn’t witnessed yet. She didn’t know Marly all that well yet, but something told Mason to shut up about the subject. “Great day for a…
“Your rattle was awesome…”
Both women started laughing. Marly smiled. “Sorry, you go first.”
“No, please, you go.” Mason unlocked the car and opened her door. She smiled at Marly. “I insist.”
“I was just saying that the rattle you made is amazing.” Marly shut her door and did her seat buckle. “You are so talented.”
For the third time in just minutes, Mason hid her embarrassment. Not used to all the praise from people who weren’t paying clients, Mason didn’t weather compliments very well. So her mumbled thank you was the extent of the conversation about her gift.
They were silent until Highway 2 passed Sand Bar State Park and spilled onto the blue-green waters of Lake Champlain. “I forgot how beautiful it is here. No wonder you spent as much time out here as you did.”
“Your mom loved it. She always felt closer to heaven out here.”
“Tell me about that. When did she turn into the church lady?”
Mason almost corrected Marly’s sarcasm, but realized it was all part of how she was dealing with her mother’s death. She also realized that for someone who didn’t get close to people or let anyone in, putting Marly on the defensive wouldn’t make it any easier to reach her. “I wouldn’t call your mom the church lady. She was very spiritual. I know Anne probably prayed every day that you would come home.”
“Did she say anything else about me?”
Mason shrugged. “No, she never really talked too much about you. I think she regretted her part in driving you away. Maybe that’s why she tried so hard with me. It was the universe’s way of balancing out the injustice.”
“And now I’m your little charity case? This is you paying it forward?”
“Are you always so suspicious of everyone’s motive?” Mason tried to discern if Marly was serious or if her sardonic tone was just her defense mechanism kicking in.
“I figure most people have an ulterior motive for being nice. At least that’s my experience.”
“That’s a shame. I don’t want anything from you, except maybe your friendship. Your mom reached out to me when I needed that the most. I think that is exactly what you need, whether you realize it or not. If that isn’t something you are interested in, maybe it’s time we part ways.” Mason opened her mouth to apologize. She hadn’t meant to be so brisk in her comment, but something in Marly’s accusatory stance made her bristle. “I’m sorry…”
“You’re right, you know.” Marly brushed an errant tear off her cheek. Everything that Mason said, and probably thought about her was right. She did need a friend. For the first time in years, Marly felt truly alone. Despite their differences, Marly knew her mother loved her, and somewhere deep down, Marly loved her back. By the time she realized that, too much time had passed, and Marly didn’t know how to come home. If there were truth in Mason’s words, maybe their friendship was the universe’s way of righting a wrong. Perhaps this was Marly’s chance to close the rift that she created. “I don’t know how to be anyone’s friend.”
Mason’s heart broke for the woman beside her as she realized that Marly was so shut off that the concept of a relationship with no strings attached was too foreign to understand. She reached across the seat and slid her fingers through Marly’s and squeezed them. “I don’t want anything from you, except the pleasure of your company. We have something that binds us together. We both loved your mom, despite your differences, and we want to celebrate her life and mourn her passing, and it not drive us crazy in the process.”
“And you want me to teach you to dance.” Marly broke the seriousness of the conversation, needing to lighten the mood. She pulled her hand away and rested it between her legs.
“Well, there is that.” Mason ignored the space that Marly put between them. “So, tell me about your favorite childhood memory.”
“Gosh, let me think about that. I haven’t thought about that in years.” Marly stared out the window, watching the fields of Grand Isle fly past them. “Okay, I was eleven, almost twelve years old. Mom and Dad were still together and fighting most days. I hated it, hated being in the house when it happened. I would get on my bike and ride. I never had a destination, except away from home. I remember coming home one day, and Dad said that he was taking me to a Red Sox game for my birthday. I was so excited! I loved the Red Sox. It was just going to be me and him for the whole day. I remember seeing Fenway for the first time. The red brick that blends into the city surroundings, the hallways that wind around the field, and then the moment you walk into the stands and the smell of fresh grass and hot dogs wafts into your nose.” Marly closed her eyes and smelled the scents like they were right there. “I remember the game like it was yesterday. It was Game 3 in a series with the Yankees. I wanted to see Clemens pitch, but he wasn’t in the rotation. It didn’t matter though. The Sox took the series two games to one anyway. On the ride home, my dad told me that he and mom were splitting up, and he was moving back to Syracuse, where his parents lived. I guess they figured if they gave me something nice for my birthday, it would make the news a little easier to digest.”
“Oh, shit, Marly. I’m sorry.”
“It’s no big deal. I got over it. So, that’s my best and worst memory ever story.” Marly was silent after that. Truth-be-told, she didn’t get over it. After her dad left, she only saw him a few more times. Soon, the lone reminder of him was her mother’s constant warning to make something of herself and not turn out like her father. In the end, Marly had done exactly what her father had done. She left. “Really, it’s okay. I got a giant foam finger out of the deal.”
“Jeez, Marly. Are you ever serious about anything?”
“Marly Cabot, thirty-nine, Virgo with brown hair and eyes, has trouble forming attachments, and skates through the hard times with sarcasm. You know this about me.” Marly sighed. “Don’t stick around long, Coyote. I’ll only end up disappointing you.”
“That’s your defense mechanism kicking in, right?” Mason shook her head, amazed at how closed off Marly was, despite Mason’s best efforts to befriend her. “You don’t want to be hurt, so you keep people at arms’ length. If you never let anyone in, then no one can hurt you like your dad did.”
“You know I didn’t tell you that story so you could use it against me. I told you I got over it. I’m fiercely protective of my privacy, and I don’t let just anyone in. You can’t fault me for that.”
“Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not faulting you for not wanting to be hurt. That I get. No one goes into life wanting to get their heart broken, least of all by the very people that are tasked to protect it. My issue is you never let anyone close enough to get to know you. You never take chances. You stayed away from your mom all these years, and I think it’s because you were worried you would disappoint your mom, and she would disappear from your life. Somewhere deep inside, I think you blame yourself for your dad leaving. After that, you kept your mom on the outside, because if you did that, then there wasn’t a chance she could ever hurt you like your dad did.”
Marly opened her mouth to respond then shut it quickly. As much as the words stung, she knew there was truth in them. As a twelve-year-old, Marly believed her father left because of her. Maybe if she had cleaned her room better, or been smarter in school or back-talked less, he would still be around. Even as she got older, she was able to reason that it wasn’t her responsibility to make her dad happy, but her heart still felt the pain of losing him and bore the guilt in silent agony. Looking back, Marly knew that was the real reason she left. She and her mother fought every day, and every morning, Marly woke up with the fear that this day was the day her mother would leave. She didn’t realize at the time that was her mother’s broken way of loving her. When she was old enough, Marly did what she thought would keep her from being hurt. She left. Over the years, there were times when she felt an overwhelming desire burning inside her to come home, but she never did. She felt like the damage had been done and there would be no place for her. It never occurred to her to think about the pain she had caused by leaving.
As if reading her mind, Mason interrupted her thoughts. “Your mom would have welcomed you home with open arms. She didn’t talk about it much, but I know she missed you every waking moment.”
“Can we talk about something else? Today is going to be difficult enough, and I don’t want to spend the day crying.” Marly leaned back and stared out the window. They were close to Isle La Motte. She hadn’t been out here since she was a kid, but bits and pieces of it were starting to come back to her. She didn’t realize how much she missed the lake and the mountains. They were as much a part of her being as her brown eyes, and the drive out to the island brought an influx of emotions, on top of her already fragile heart. “What got you into metalworking?”
