Let ME tell you a story about a girl on Long Island, who always tried to play life by "the rules"--as outlined in the Secret Handbook of Long Island Rules...That girl, uh, woman, is me, Teddi Gallo. I'm the mother of three kids under the age of eleven, best friend to Bobbie (who denies there's any such thing as a secret handbook, but who knows all the moves by heart) and the daughter of June (who has inside info on the rules, but has a reserved room at South Winds Psychiatric Hospital, as well). And if I don't have enough to send me over the edge, my too-handsome-for-his-own-good husband seems determined to drive me crazy. But why?This is the tale of how I had to rewrite that old, dusty handbook--and while doing so, I suddenly discovered the secret to happiness was living by your own rules.And that has made everything different.

Literally, he's had it for every hour of the day for as long as Teddi's known him. So it's no coincidence that minutes after Teddi stumbles accidentally on a corpse in the deep freeze at King Kullen, Detective Dreamboat is back on the scene. Her supermarket snob (among other things) of a mother will never let her hear the end of it.Nor will Drew, who has told Teddi time and again she's got to stop messing with murder scenes. Until Teddi goes from material witness to potential next victim...But the woman whose smarmy ex dubbed her "Long Island's Most Dangerous Decorator" isn't going down without a fight. Or going down alone. Not when she's got an oh-so-irritating, way-too-irresistible cop watching her every move...