Pregnant on the Earl's Doorstep, page 5
Heather shook her head, a small smile on her face. ‘I get the feeling that they’re so used to acting up to get attention from people they’ve forgotten how to be any other way.’
‘And you’re going to remind them?’ Cal asked.
Heather nodded. ‘Well, me and you.’
Wait. What?
Cal put down his glass and frowned at her. ‘You do remember our deal here, Miss Reid, right?’
Heather rolled her eyes. ‘You really don’t have to call me that, you know. Especially when Mrs Peterson isn’t listening.’
‘Fine. Heather, then. Our deal...?’
‘I spend the next six weeks getting the children ready for whichever awful boarding school you’re shipping them off to, and you pay me lots of money and give me whatever I need to make it happen.’
‘I think you added the last bit yourself, but fine.’ Cal shook his head as her other words caught up with him. ‘And the school isn’t awful. In fact, Derryford Academy is one of the most highly regarded boarding schools in the country. Ross and I both went there.’
Heather muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, Explains a lot... under her breath. Cal ignored her.
‘And the fact it’s such a good school is why I need you here—to make sure their academics are up to scratch. They’re coming in late as it is. Ross wanted to send them as soon as they were old enough, but Janey insisted on keeping them at home, so...’ He shrugged.
There was a peculiar look on Heather’s face. It took Cal a moment to realise what it was. Pain.
‘Were you in love with my brother?’ he asked softly.
If she had been... Well, he could only imagine how painful this whole situation was for her. She’d claimed it was only a one-night stand, but people lied—he knew that well enough. And maybe she hadn’t wanted to admit to him, Ross’s brother, about a long-term affair.
Heather shot him a surprised look. ‘No! I told you, it was just one night. I barely even knew him.’
She sounded convincing, but liars often did. ‘You looked in actual agony when I mentioned his wife,’ he pointed out.
Another flash of pain spread across her face, contradicting her words. Cal was just starting to feel smug about his ability to see through her lies when she spoke again.
‘I wasn’t in love with Ross, Cal. I barely knew him. In fact, if I had known him I never would have gone back to his hotel room with him that night. If I’d known he was married...that he had children...’
She shuddered, and Cal realised he’d read her all wrong after all. He kept doing that with this woman. Normally he prided himself on being able to see through the lies and the covers people put up to mask their real feelings and actions. What made Heather so different?
Then he realised.
She wasn’t lying to him.
‘If I feel pain, it’s for his wife. For his kids. For the mistakes I made,’ Heather went on. ‘I should have asked more questions, been more certain, before I went back with him. That’s a mistake that’s going to haunt me for a long time.’
‘Because of the baby?’ Cal guessed.
He wanted to understand her, he realised. To figure out how she could be so open and honest about her feelings and actions when it seemed like no one else he’d ever known could.
Heather shook her head and a bright smile spread across her face, transforming the atmosphere in the room. ‘This baby is the best thing to come from that night. And, however many mistakes I made to get to this point, I know that a baby is never a mistake. He or she is a new life, a new chance for happiness—for them, and maybe even for me.’
Cal sat back in his chair, amazed. ‘You’re really not like other people, are you?’
Heather pulled a face. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
And she didn’t, he realised. Because this was just who she was—open and honest and without guile or lies. No wonder he hadn’t got a clue what to make of her.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘What matters is that you’re staying and that you’ll get the kids ready for school in time.’
He needed to focus on the important stuff, the big picture—not get carried away trying to make sense of his brother’s one-night stand. Like getting the kids out of the castle. And keeping that damn reporter from Elite magazine away from Lengroth altogether.
His conversation with the editor had not been encouraging; apparently she was sending over a copy of the contract for Cal’s lawyers to look at. And she’d made it very clear that he did not want to be found in breach of it...
He shook away that concern for another time and turned his attention back to Heather. But she just added another layer to the issue. The last thing he needed was a reporter staying at the castle alongside the woman who was carrying the late Earl’s illegitimate child.
‘Are you okay?’ Heather asked, with genuine concern in her voice. ‘You’re kind of...staring.’
He looked away. Quickly. ‘Sorry. Just...lots on my mind. Picking up all the loose threads after Ross... You know...’
‘Of course.’ Heather got quickly and neatly to her feet. ‘I’ll leave you to it. I need to get to bed if I’m going to start teaching the children tomorrow.’
She smoothed down the sundress she was wearing under a chunky knitted cardigan. She wasn’t showing at all yet, Cal realised. Would she be by the end of the summer? He didn’t know. If she was nearly twelve weeks, as she said, then she’d be four and half months by September.
Halfway through, he thought. Hopefully by then he’d have some idea of what to do about her and the baby. But for now...
‘I’ll arrange for laptops for all three of you. And I’ll get a credit card for you, linked to the castle account. You’ll be able to order whatever clothes you need, teaching supplies...that sort of thing.’
‘Thank you.’ Heather’s wide smile was grateful. ‘That would be wonderful.’
He’d set a generous limit on the card, Cal decided as she left the room. See how close she came to reaching it. If she did—well, who wouldn’t make the most of that opportunity? And if she didn’t...maybe she really was different from the other people in his life.
Either way, the children would be out of his hair and someone else’s problem. That was what really mattered.
* * *
Heather was awoken early the next morning, before the sun had even crept over the hills, by the sound of shrieking. High-pitched, ear-ringing, brain-hurting, shrieking.
She blinked, trying to remember where she was, what was happening, who could be screaming...
Daisy.
Throwing the covers aside, she raced to the doorway that led to the hall, then down the short distance to the children’s rooms.
The stone floors of the castle were freezing under her bare feet, even in summer. Heather didn’t care. She burst into Daisy’s room and found Ryan already there, huddled in a heap at the end of her bed, his hands over his ears.
‘Daisy. Daisy.’
It wasn’t good to wake a dreamer. Or was that a sleepwalker? Either way, Heather knew she had to do it. She gave the girl a small shake on her shoulder. Then a harder one.
Daisy’s eyes popped open. ‘You shouldn’t be in my room after lights out,’ she said, for all the world as if she’d just awoken from a restful nap.
Heather shared a quick glance with Ryan, who just shrugged. ‘She always does this.’
Does what? Heather wondered. Scream, dream or pretend it never happened?
‘You were screaming,’ Heather said soothingly. ‘Did you have a bad dream?’
‘No,’ Daisy said sharply, but Heather would have known it was a lie even without the shrieking. Her eyes were wide and terrified, red and raw around the edges.
‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Heather asked.
Daisy rolled over to face the wall, pulled the blanket up to her chin and stubbornly shut her eyes. ‘I want to go back to sleep. Alone.’
Heather waited a few minutes, but Daisy showed no signs of moving or talking. Her breathing was too shallow for her to be asleep, but Heather knew she was stubborn enough to pretend all the way until morning.
Time to try a different approach.
Getting quietly to her feet, as if she really did believe Daisy was sleeping and didn’t want to wake her, Heather motioned to Ryan to follow her back through the linked bathroom to his room. Once the connecting doors were closed behind them, Heather smiled and spoke at a more normal volume.
‘Come on, let’s get you tucked in again, too.’
It was the first time she’d been alone with Ryan, she realised—without Daisy’s glares and nudges to control his reactions. She planned to take advantage of it.
‘Does she often have nightmares?’ Heather asked as she shook out his duvet.
Ryan nodded sleepily. ‘Most nights. But she doesn’t always scream. Sometimes she just whimpers, and then she calms down again when I go in and lie down with her.’
These poor children. Stuck in this castle, grieving for their parents, and now their uncle wants to send them away to boarding school.
Cal was concerned that their academic learning should be up to the standard required at Derryford Academy. Heather was far more worried about ensuring that their mental and emotional well-being was up to living there.
And right now she wasn’t at all sure it was.
‘Do you have nightmares, too?’ Heather asked softly.
Ryan’s eyes were already drifting closed again, proving more than his words that this really was an everyday occurrence for him.
‘Sometimes,’ he murmured, his voice heavy with sleep. ‘But not like Daisy.’
His breathing evened out and Heather knew he was asleep again. She’d have to save her questions for another time.
In the meantime... I need to do more reading. Learn about grieving children...how to help them.
But one thing she already knew. Whatever these children had been through, they needed the same thing all children needed. Love, understanding and someone to listen. They needed to feel secure and safe.
And, judging by Daisy’s nightmares—not to mention the mud incident and the flying rubber duck—they didn’t.
Heather knew what it was like to grow up without one parent. She couldn’t imagine how she’d have coped if she’d lost her father as well as her mother. But she could identify a little with Daisy and Ryan.
The children were playing defence—attacking anyone who came near before they could be attacked. Heather wasn’t sure what form they expected that attack to come in, but they were definitely expecting it.
She needed to find a way to show them that they were safe and loved. But she was only staying until September. She wasn’t a long-term solution here.
But she knew a man who was.
These children needed family. And right now that family consisted of their uncle Cal—a man who planned to ship them off to boarding school so he didn’t have to deal with them.
Not if she could help it.
Tucking Ryan in one last time, she left the children sleeping to head back to her own room, already planning how best to approach Cal with her ideas.
She shut the bedroom door quietly, turned—and screamed.
CHAPTER FIVE
CAL CLAPPED A hand over Heather’s mouth to stop her screaming. The last thing they needed after all this was Daisy waking up and starting to shriek again. There was only so much night-time noise his ears could take.
‘It’s me. Cal. Not a ghost, or whatever.’
He’d never even seen a hint of the damn thing, but every other nanny seemed convinced that the castle was haunted, so why would Heather be any different. Of course she’d screamed.
He’d automatically pulled her into his arms, he realised belatedly, and the soft curves under her pyjamas were pressed up against his bare chest and boxers. Not the most professional start to their working relationship. But, God, it felt good.
The strange feeling that had made him stare at her earlier that evening swept over him again—half-amazement, half-disbelief that she was even real.
One thing was definitely real, though, and that was the way she felt in his arms. If this were any other woman he’d definitely be thinking about kissing her right now. About keeping her this close the whole night long...
Except she was his employee, and she was carrying his brother’s child, so this was the most inappropriate line of thought ever.
Oh, who was he kidding? He was thinking it anyway.
‘I’m not screaming any more,’ Heather said, sounding far more calm and rational than he felt, with her copper curls tickling his neck and the scent of her filling his lungs.
Cal let go. Quickly.
‘Sorry,’ he said, stepping away. ‘I just didn’t want you to wake the kids again.’
‘I kind of got that.’
Why was she looking at him that way? She couldn’t know all the things he’d been thinking about doing to her as her body touched his, right? At least she’d brought him to his senses before his lower body had really started to react to the situation.
Cal thought many calming thoughts and hoped the corridor was dark enough to hide his blushes. And other things.
‘So...uh... Daisy had another nightmare?’ he asked redundantly.
Heather nodded. ‘Ryan says she has them a lot. Sorry, I probably should have waited for you to go in—’
‘No!’ Cal said, sharply. ‘No. You’re the nanny—it’s your place.’
Her expression turned curious, and then disapproving in turn, with the pale, wan light from the lamp on the wall highlighting the planes and shadows of her face.
‘You’re their uncle,’ she said. ‘It’s more your place than mine.’
Cal shook his head. ‘I tried once. She threw pillows at me and screeched even louder than she did when she was dreaming. Trust me, it’s better for everyone that you do it.’
Heather was still staring at him. Assessing him. He didn’t like it. Even if her scrutiny had finally got his body back on board with their strictly professional relationship terms.
‘You want the children to be ready to go to boarding school in six weeks?’ she said slowly, as if she were just catching up to how difficult that would be.
‘That’s the idea.’
‘Then you’re going to have to show them that it’s safe for them to leave. And come back again.’
Cal frowned. ‘Is this something to do with the ghost? Have you been having some sort of séance when I wasn’t looking?’
Maybe he should get an exorcist in, or something. Did they come for atheists? He wasn’t sure.
‘It’s not the damn ghost they’re afraid of,’ Heather snapped. ‘I told you—I don’t even believe in them.’
‘Then what is it?’
Heather’s smile was small and sad. ‘Everything else.’
‘That makes no sense. They’re rich, privileged kids.’ Or they would be, once Cal had sorted out the castle’s precarious financial situation. ‘What do they have to be scared of?’
‘They’ve lost their parents, Cal,’ Heather snapped, clearly at the end of her patience with his lack of understanding. ‘Their whole world has shifted, and nothing they placed their trust in before has held true. They don’t know what or who to believe in, and they don’t know what’s going to happen next. Of course they’re terrified.’
‘Well, when you put it like that...’ Cal rubbed the back of his neck tiredly, wishing he could go back to bed. No, wishing he could go back in time to when none of this had been his problem. When Ross had still been the perfect older brother who could be relied on to take care of all the family stuff.
But that had all been lies anyway.
‘Did you honestly not think about how their parents’ deaths must have affected them?’ Heather asked, more softly now.
‘No, I did. I just...’
How could he explain that when his own parents had died he’d felt nothing. That, growing up, he’d sometimes daydreamed about what would happen if his father did die. Would their mother suddenly realise she loved them after all? Realise that they were more than just an heir and a spare?
Even in his daydreams he hadn’t really believed it.
But Ross and Janey had been different—or so he’d believed. He’d hoped they really did love their children, the way he and Ross had always wanted to be loved.
Now, with everything he’d learned about Ross and his marriage since their death, Cal realised he’d begun to see them as just like his parents.
‘Of course I did. I knew they were grieving, that they missed them. But by the time I arrived here and took over, on the day of the funeral, they were both already so cold. Distant. I just assumed...’
First he’d assumed that they knew he couldn’t give them what they needed. That he was no good at this family stuff and had no idea how to be a guardian. Then, later, he’d assumed they felt the same way about Ross and Janey as he had about his own parents’ deaths.
But he had a feeling Heather wouldn’t understand any of that.
‘My first priority was to get the estate management and its finances under control,’ he said instead. ‘Ross... It turned out things weren’t in as great a shape as I’d been led to believe. This is the kids’ future security and livelihood. I was looking out for their futures.’
‘They need security now, Cal. And not the financial type. They need love.’
Then they were out of luck. Because love was one thing Cal had no experience or knowledge of.
‘Then love them,’ he said, turning on his heel to head back to his cold, lonely bedroom.
Heather would have to learn to love them as their half-sibling’s mother.
Because he knew that he couldn’t.
