Falling for Autumn, page 11
“Then on two occasions, we went to a park in a neighboring suburb and he’d be on a mission to only pet the dogs in the neighborhood that were brown. And it wasn’t normal petting. He would always pet them slow and whisper words of sentiment to them. Most of the dog owners thought it was sweet, but I slowly began to notice how calculated he was about the strangest things. Something wasn’t right.
“I finally knew I had to talk to someone when I’d noticed him writing frantically in one of the classes we had together. I made up an excuse about wanting to study for finals together and shuffled through the pages of his notebook when he’d gone to the bathroom. Nothing stood out in the notebook, except a list of names that I quickly remembered were names of six dogs we’d recently met. Later that day, Winter and I went to the park in the neighborhood and I noticed Missing posters for two of the six dogs we’d encountered.”
She briefly thought about concluding the story by ending it on a high note and tying a pretty red bow around it, but she couldn’t. Had she learned a lot from the experience? Yes, she had. But after being with someone like her ex and having him be her first dose of love from the opposite sex, she was also emotionally damaged. She knew that, too. However, she was an honest person and it had been so long since she had been honest with anyone about those years that she had tried to forget. So she continued, and with any luck, at the end of the story Ajay wouldn’t go running out the door.
“I didn’t know what to do with the information and I figured I didn’t have real proof that he had anything to do with the missing dogs. Regardless, I felt inclined to tell someone. So I told our school counselor. The counselor looked into the situation and it was later found that all six dogs that I’d seen written in his notebook were missing, not just the two I’d seen posters for. The counselor followed procedure and notified school officials and his parents. I told my dad during that time, too. The things they found in his bedroom were so eerie it made me sick to my stomach.”
She closed her eyes as a chill ran through her body. “He was eventually sent to a mental institution, but not before we all learned just how sick he was. He’d documented every animal he’d ever hurt, and the worst part is, he kept something from each of them, whether it was their collar or locks of dog hair.”
She finally breathed, realizing that her breathing had most likely been staggered the entire time she told her story. For the first time, she noticed that one of his hands held hers. She couldn’t even recall when they had laced fingers.
“Did you ever find out more information about why he had all those photos of you?”
“I found out more than I ever cared to know. He’d removed a piece of the paneling of his closet and had books filled with pictures of me. Notes I’d written him in school. Movie ticket stubs. Any moment we’d ever shared was documented. There had also been even more photos that he’d taken when I hadn’t noticed. Times when we weren’t even together. Times when I was sleeping in bed...just like I’d suspected. He left me a letter, too...”
“What do you mean? He wrote you before he was institutionalized? How did he even get the chance to do that?”
“That’s the funny thing,” she said with a bitter laugh. “He’d placed a letter in one of my notebooks that I didn’t find until months later when school had started back. I remember the last time I’d used that notebook, so I think he left it before anything happened. In the letter, he didn’t express his love or anything like that. Instead, he discussed how he hoped one day I found out about the real him and accepted him for who he was. And if I didn’t, he hoped I was prepared to spend the rest of my life knowing that he was always somewhere watching...looking. The letter proceeded to tell me all the reasons why I’d never be able to forget him and how that had been his ultimate goal all along—to make sure I never forgot. It’s as if he knew eventually I would find out that he had issues. Either that, or it was a cry for help. I’m not sure and I doubt I’ll ever find out.”
She looked down at the goose bumps that covered her arms, but instead of feeling emotionless as she often felt after she thought about that time in her life, she felt unrestricted.
“I’m proud of you,” he said after a few moments of silence. “It took a lot of bravery to go to your counselor with the information and not let that moment break you.”
“I didn’t feel brave. I felt scared. Helpless. The Animal Rights Society was at every hearing he had. That was all kids would talk about in school, and with Winter graduating that year, I was left to bear the embarrassment on my own with no support. I ruined so many lives that day I told the counselor my suspicions. His parents’ lives. His grandparents’. His.”
“No, you didn’t. You sensed that his parents ignored the signs, and even though you blame yourself for not noticing it earlier, you can’t be mad at yourself. People get sucked into the wrong crowd all the time, and in your case, you thought you’d really found a good friend. You wanted to focus on the good you saw in him, and there is nothing wrong with trying to see the good in people.”
He was saying the same supportive words her dad and sisters had said to her for years, but she still felt...awkward and angry about the entire thing. “Forgiving yourself is a funny thing that I still haven’t quite mastered yet.”
“Don’t I know it,” Ajay said as he squeezed her hand tighter. “There’s more to my story than I told you about my birth mother, but I haven’t even come to terms with everything myself.”
“There’s more to my story, too,” she said with a sigh. “But I literally hate talking about this stuff.”
“They say it’s therapeutic, but I think we both agree we’ve talked about enough tonight. We should make an agreement that the door is always open if either of us wants to finish our stories.”
She peered into his eyes and nervously bit her bottom lip. “So what I just told you doesn’t make you want to run in the other direction?”
“No, why would it?”
“Most men would say I’m emotionally damaged and my inner demons are more than they have time to figure out.”
He lightly touched her cheek. “Baby, I spent my early preteen years counting drug money for a heavy hitter in Detroit. And even though I could bring As, Bs and Cs home from school, my birth mother was more proud of me if I rolled the perfect blunt or won a schoolyard fight. I think it’s safe to say that we’re both emotionally damaged. And I don’t even like the word damaged. Scarred is more like it.”
She wasn’t sure if her breathing had quickened because he’d called her “baby” or if it was because his touch alone always made her lose her breath.
“Since we’re being honest...” For the first time, she wanted to be an open book. “Men have said I’m emotionless.”
“Women have said I don’t care enough.”
“Men have said I’m detached in the bedroom.”
“Women have said I’m good at giving, but not receiving.”
“Why?”
“I don’t like losing control.”
She smirked. “Me, neither. Losing control means there’s a possibility I could get hurt.”
He began rubbing his thumb in circles on her cheek. “You lost control in the alley.”
“First time ever. I never experienced a real orgasm from a man before.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “So you’ve only experienced them by...”
“Myself. That’s all. What about you?”
“Do I masturbate?”
“No, why do women feel as though you hold back?”
“I limit myself to one orgasm every time I have sex. Even if we have sex two or three times, I’m only allowing myself to orgasm once. Started doing it subconsciously years ago when women were coming from every corner when I opened my first lounge, and no woman has ever broken it.”
She scrunched her forehead in surprise. “Ever? Have many tried?”
“Tried and failed.”
Her eyes dropped to his lips. He had the type of bottom lip that was made for sucking. She didn’t understand how she could get aroused after sharing all the information about her past, but she was. She knew he wasn’t going to make a move if she didn’t give him the okay.
“Would you mind if I try to break your orgasm limit?”
“Only if you don’t mind me convincing you that those men who told you that you’re emotionless and detached in the bedroom didn’t deserve you anyway.”
“I’d like that.”
“Then, you have yourself a deal.”
They sat on the steps a little while longer before Ajay suggested they watch the comedy he brought. When they got to the end of the steps, he swung her around and planted a sweet kiss on her lips before bringing her in for a hug. She had never been much of a hugger, but standing there, hugging Ajay, she felt as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
* * *
“It’s so beautiful,” Danni said quietly as she dabbed the corners of her eyes.
“Such an adorable scene,” Summer added.
“This couple had the right idea,” Autumn whispered. “Saving loads on costs.”
Ajay stole a glance at Jaleen, who looked about as enthusiastic as he felt. Although Danni, Summer and Autumn had been on the same flight, and he and Jaleen had been on the same flight, the five of them had arrived in Bora Bora around the same time and agreed to meet up and take the same boat to their luxury resort.
“Ladies, the boat leaves in ten minutes. Maybe we should make our way there,” Ajay suggested.
“Just one more minute,” Danni replied.
Ajay looked at Jaleen and shrugged before resuming to witness the couple who had chosen to get married right outside the French Polynesia International Airport. It was unlike anything he’d ever seen. They were speaking another language so he couldn’t understand the words they voiced when they exchanged vows. It didn’t seem to matter to the women, because they were completely enthralled by the sight. It was also hard to enjoy the ceremony when the men were the ones holding all the bags.
“Okay, now it’s time to go,” Jaleen said as the couple shared a passionate kiss. They made their way to the boat and boarded with a host of other vacationers.
He’d known that Bora Bora would be beautiful, but he’d had no idea just how much. When the plane had initially approached their destination, he’d been immediately taken by the mountains covered in luscious greenery. It was the type of scenery one often dreamed of when thinking of paradise.
Ajay heard Jaleen laugh and turned to see what had caught his friend’s interest. As usual, it had to do with women.
“You know what I just found out?” Jaleen asked, linking an arm over Ajay’s shoulder.
“What?”
“Those ladies over there told me that Bora Bora is where they filmed Couples Retreat. Did you know that?”
“I didn’t,” Ajay said with a laugh. “But I have to admit, that actually is interesting.”
“That’s what I was telling the ladies,” Jaleen said loud enough for them to hear. “And we need to find that singles island that they showed in that movie.” When Jaleen walked back over to them, they giggled and were clearly enjoying the flirting. Ajay glanced at Danni, Summer and Autumn in time to see each of them roll their eyes.
As he walked over to the railing and admired the rich South Pacific scenery, he vaguely overheard Jaleen mention his name to the women. He hoped he wasn’t implying that he was his wingman or that he was single. That may be the case, but in his heart, he wasn’t up for grabs.
Last week at movie night at Autumn’s home, it had gone much better than expected. Listening to her describe what she’d gone through with her ex had been harder than he’d ever imagined. The experience had impacted her deeply, and even though he was a firm believer in certain things happening for a reason, it was a lesson he wished she could have avoided. The rest of the night had gone smoothly. She’d curled herself into his arms as they’d watched a comedy, and by the end of the movie, they had both fallen asleep on the couch. He hadn’t awakened until the morning when he felt her stir in his arms.
With any other woman, the situation may have been awkward for him, but with Autumn, it had felt right. Perfect. They just fit.
“Care for company?” Autumn said as she slid beside him.
“Your company? Always.” He meant the words more than she probably realized.
“I’m not sure if I thanked you for listening to my story the other day...”
He cut her off midsentence. “You’ll never have to thank me for listening to you. I wanted to know your story and I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me about your past.”
“Most of the men I’ve come across haven’t felt that way.”
“Good thing I’m not most men.” His eyes captured hers, daring her to deny what he was saying. He needed her to understand how he felt. He wanted her to know that even though the ball was in her court, he wasn’t going to stop trying to get to know her. Friendship. Relationship. He didn’t put too much thought into one versus the other because all he knew was that he wanted her—all of her—in any capacity.
She looked away first and stared out into the ocean, but he kept his eyes trained on her. He’d never been the jealous type, but he wouldn’t spend the next six days in Bora Bora watching the other groomsmen flirt with her and pretend as if she wasn’t the main thing on his mind. The only thing on his mind.
Chapter 13
“This place is absolutely breathtaking,” Autumn said as she entered the overwater bungalow that she’d be residing in for the next six days. The pictures she’d seen online had been beautiful, but not nearly as stunning as experiencing the resort firsthand.
The stilted thatch-roofed villas of the resort were nestled around a crystal clear turquoise lagoon. She hadn’t been around the entire resort grounds yet, but from the minute they’d exited the boat, she’d been impressed with the attentive staff.
She walked into the living room area that was complete with beige wicker furniture, plush white cushions and decorative pillows. Slipping off her sandals, she wiggled her toes against the cool exotic wood showcased throughout the entire space. Pockets of glass-paneled floors offered an amazing view of the fish and plant life in the lagoon. The bathroom was complete with marble double sinks, a standing waterfall shower and grand cast-iron tub.
As she turned the corner to the bedroom, a large king canopy bed came into view with clean white sheets and vibrant pillows that matched the ones in the living room. Her eyes wandered to the open glass doors that led to a wraparound deck. Stepping outside, the sun kissed her skin and reflected off the water. The outdoor plunge pool looked so enticing, she almost slipped off her sundress so that she could cool off.
She walked to the edge of the deck and peeked over at the stepladder that was there so guests were only steps away from a dip in the lagoon.
“Pretty amazing, isn’t it?”
She turned to the side at the sound of Ajay’s voice. “Are you staying in that villa?” She had been the first person to be shown her room, so she wasn’t sure if maybe he was just checking out Summer’s, Danni’s or Jaleen’s villa, or if it was his.
“It’s Jaleen’s.”
“Oh,” she said, trying to hide her disappointment. “Okay.”
“Did you want it to be mine?”
She sighed as she glanced at him across their decks. At this point, she was pretty sure he knew how much she enjoyed his company. “What do you think?”
“I think you wanted our villas to be next to one another.” His lips curled into a smile. “Which is why I’m glad this is indeed where I will be staying. Even if it hadn’t been, I would have made someone switch with me.”
“If that’s how you want to start this trip, you should prepare for retaliation.”
“I have a feeling I’d like the way you retaliate.” Even from a distance, her body warmed under his gaze. She was already intrigued by her attraction to him, but after the way he’d comforted her when she’d told him the story about her ex, she hadn’t been able to think about anything but the bet they’d made. The agreement that he could work on changing the way she viewed herself in relationships while she would try to get him to lose control during intimacy. It wasn’t lost on her that by making that agreement, there was no way they wouldn’t be taking their relationship to the next level.
“We should probably get ready to meet the others,” she suggested. The bridal party had promised they would meet with Winter and Taheim as soon as they had all arrived so that they could discuss the plans for the week leading up to the wedding.
* * *
It was their first night in Bora Bora, and already the day had been busy with planning. Guests would be sprinkling in over the next few days, and the only rule that Taheim and Winter had for the bridal party was that she wanted them all there early. Of course, since a couple of the groomsmen and bridesmaids were married, their significant others had already arrived, so the welcome beach bonfire was in full swing.
“Seriously, can you stop staring at her for one minute?”
Ajay cut his eyes at Jaleen. “Aw, Jay, I didn’t know you needed my undivided attention.”
“He doesn’t get it, Ajay, but I think one day some woman is going to make him want to turn in his player card.” The comment came from Jaleen’s friend and business partner Daman Barker, who was also a groomsman and married to Elite Events cofounder Imani Rayne-Barker. All four founders of Elite Events Inc. were present since Imani and her sister, Cydney Rayne-Miles, were the lead planners for the wedding and were working closely with the resort’s event planner. The other two cofounders, Mya Winters-Madden and Lex Turner-Madden, were bridesmaids and married to Winter’s cousins Malik and Micah Madden.
