“We haven’t talked enough?”

  I ran my hand through my hair. It stood up from the sweat. “Is it possible for Jessica’s confidence to disappear with her memory?”

  Urte was awestruck. “Why would that happen?”

  I shrugged, thinking over the series of events that had brought me to the conclusion. “When I first met her, she was a confident person, shade or human.”

  “That’s exactly why your theory doesn’t make sense,” he pointed out. “She was confident before she knew what she was.”

  “Was she?” I asked. “We don’t know that much about her life before she moved back to Hayworth. I’ve never heard her mention previous friends, boyfriends, nothing really.”

  Urte was grinning. “You can’t complain about the boyfriend part.”

  I glared at the man’s humor. “Urte.”

  He chuckled. “I apologize, Shoman, but seriously—” His words lingered between us, “where’d you get such an idea?”

  “A few months ago, she would’ve never acted this way,” I said, knowing I’d gotten close enough to Jessica to understand her behavior. “This girl isn’t her. Not completely anyway.”

  “Well, she isn’t complete,” Urte said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “I suppose it’s possible for her personality to shift, but I’d have to ask Luthicer.”

  “I don’t think that’s necessary,” I said, deciding I didn’t need confirmation. Jessica had lost a part of herself − her Dark self − and that was where she pulled her confidence from. It explained how she was remarkably capable in the first place, able to manage her identities and learn without hesitation. As a human, she was still herself, but she didn’t like herself. I could see that now.

  “It must be weird to be a constant state of confusion,” I said.

  “Be careful or you might put me in one.” Urte’s cocky grin disappeared when he met my stare. I didn’t even have to say a word. “Who knew you’d be the one to tell me to take things seriously.” His face lit up like the proud second father he was. “You’ve really grown up, kid,” he continued. “I only want you to continue to do so.”

  “I’ll defeat Darthon.”

  “Forget that for two seconds.” It was the last thing I expected to hear from my trainer’s mouth. “Remember how far you’ve come, and you won’t have to rely on a destiny for your future. It will come on its own.”

  Jessica

  I hugged Crystal’s pillow to my chest as she painted her nails, only to repaint them again and again. We had gone to her house the minute school ended, but it didn’t make the day easier. The rumors were circulating, and I heard from Jonathon that Eric and Robb were suspended. I wanted to call Eric, but I had forgotten my phone, not to mention I didn’t have his number. The best I could do was show up at his house, but I wasn’t sure how his father would feel about my presence.

  Crystal’s phone buzzed. “He’s calling again.” I didn’t have to ask to know it was Robb. “Zac called, too.”

  “Why didn’t you answer?” I asked, thinking Crystal’s crush might tempt her.

  “He isn’t calling for me,” she sighed, laying her cheek on her knee. She was moving on to painting her toes. “I think he still likes you.”

  My throat tightened. “I don’t want anything to do with him either.”

  “Why?” she asked. “He didn’t do anything.”

  Somehow, I felt as if he had. It was a bizarre feeling, considering he wasn’t even present, but I wouldn’t deny my gut. If I had gone with my instincts in the first place, I wouldn’t have gone out drinking, and nothing would’ve happened. Plus, I promised Eric I would try harder, and that was exactly what I was doing.

  “Zac makes me uncomfortable,” I admitted.

  Crystal exhaled. “You’re just shaken up.”

  “He creeped me out before all of this,” I clarified.

  Crystal replaced her nail polish cap and slammed the bottle on her table. “Don’t tell me he did something, too.” Her face was as red as her crimson piercing. “I swear everyone has lost their minds.”

  I shook my hands. “He didn’t,” I said, thinking of how he had picked me up after I ran down the street. “Nothing like Robb did anyway.”

  “Jess.” Her tone was sharp. “You better spill.”

  I wasn’t going to tell her about the car ride. “Robb’s warning didn’t bother you?” I used the only memory I could fathom. “How he told us not to date him?”

  She gagged. “Because Robb is the best person to listen to right now.”

  “He told us that before he went psycho.”

  Her bleached hair fell into her face. “If you didn’t notice, Robb lost it a while ago.”

  Of course, I had noticed. He was distant, even jumpy, and he was always worse around Zac. It was another reason I didn’t like his friend.

  “I think his parents might be getting a divorce, but that’s hardly an excuse,” Crystal continued ranting. Her father had walked out. She wouldn’t sympathize with Robb’s actions no matter what he told her. “But I never thought he’d do something like this.”

  Her gaze drifted over my bare neck. My scarf had been off since we got into her bedroom. There was no point in hiding it now. “I’m sorry, Jess,” she said.

  “It isn’t your fault.”

  “But I’m the one who suggested going out that night,” she said. “And I knew you didn’t want to. I pushed it—”

  “It isn’t your fault,” I repeated, harsher this time.

  Her eyes watered, but she blinked, and the tears were gone. “It isn’t your fault either.”

  My sternum felt like it was breaking. I was surprised I could still speak, “I know,” I whispered, hoping I could accept the words as truth one day.

  Crystal grabbed her hair and spun around in her chair. “This is so messed up,” she said. “Robb’s never been an angry person, let alone a violent drunk, and Eric of all people − why was he even there?”

  “I don’t know.” I wished I had asked him. “But I’m glad he was.”

  “Me, too,” Crystal agreed, staring at her wet nails. The paint had smeared, and she spun to the mirror. It was in her hair. “Great. Just fantastic.”

  “It’ll wash out,” I said, getting up to go to her bathroom. I grabbed a towel, ran the water over it, and took it to her.

  She scrambled to clean it. “I need to dye my hair again anyway,” she dismissed, but her tired tone gave away her true feelings. She was overwhelmed.

  “I should tell you something else—” I started, and Crystal met my eyes in the mirror. They looked darker in the reflection.

  “I’m guessing it has to do with Welborn.”

  In the mirror, my shoulders rose, and heat crept across my neck. Crystal gasped and spun around. “I knew it,” she exclaimed. “Something happened between you two.”

  “It’s kind of complicated,” I said, even though one kiss wasn’t.

  “This whole thing is complicated.” Crystal stood up only to pull me onto her bed. “Just tell me.”

  “I kissed him.”

  “You already told me what Robb did,” she stated, and I bit my lip, shaking my head from side to side. Crystal’s mouth dropped. “Eric?” It was the first time I heard her use his first name without Welborn following it. “You kissed Eric Welborn?” And it was only for dramatic effect.

  My reflexes took over, and I smacked my hand over her mouth, even though it was impossible for anyone to hear us at her house. “Not so loud,” I said, my hand slipping off her face. “And, yes, I kissed him.”

  “What?” She was in disbelief. “How? When? Where? Why?” The five key journalist questions. They summarized my anxiety.

  I shrugged, unable to explain how I had mistaken him for the dream boy. “He was there, and I was confused,” I dismissed. “I don’t really know why either.”

  “So—” Her exaggerated word hung in the air, but her expression startled me. She was smiling.

  “So, what?”

  “So, are you going to give Welborn a chance?” Crystal asked, bouncing up and down.

  “What?” Her excitement startled me. “I thought you hated him.”

  “It’s not like I’m considering dating him.”

  “I—I’m not talking about this,” I stuttered. I only wanted to tell her I kissed him, not contemplate his dating life. “We aren’t like that.”

  “Really?” Crystal didn’t believe me.

  “Really.” I didn’t believe myself.

  “You kissed him, Jess,” she pointed out. “I don’t see how you’re not like that.”

  “Because he doesn’t date,” I said, desperate for any excuse, but Crystal groaned.

  “He dated Abby Blake.”

  She might as well have pulled the hair out of my head. My mind was screaming. “That was a long time ago.”

  “Well, he seems better about it,” Crystal said, leaning against the wall next to me. “He didn’t talk to anyone until you moved here last semester.”

  The previous months felt like a distant past, something that had happened to someone else in another place entirely, not events I witnessed myself.

  “I think he likes you,” she finished.

  My fingers curled, and my nails pressed against my palms. “We just sit next to each other in class.”

  “Then, why’d you go to his house for the project?” Her high-pitched tone was accusatory.

  “For homework.”

  “And prom?”

  My head was spinning again. “What about it?” I talked through the fog.

  Crystal giggled and pushed against my arm. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember dancing with him,” she said it like it was a clever pun, but it was true. I didn’t remember.

  “I—what?” I panicked, jumping to my feet.

  Crystal’s eyes widened. “You danced with him before you left with him,” she informed me like the walking gossip column that she was. “You never told me what happened − which reminds me, I want to know.”

  It was impossible, but my mind was racing. My memories − my life − was gone, and I had no idea why.

  “Jess?” Crystal cooed for my attention. “Jess Taylor?”

  “What?”

  “About Eric?” she teased, but her grin faded. “You really don’t remember this, do you?”

  But I wasn’t listening to her questions. I was staring at myself in her mirror. The only piece I recognized was how pale my face had become.

  “Jess.” Crystal was on her feet, and I watched her get closer to me. “You’re freaking me out. What’s going on? Did something happen at prom, too?”

  Too. Like something had to have happened to me.

  “Zac aggravated me at the dance,” I decided to lie, knowing his story was my only opportunity. “I wasn’t comfortable, so I left.”

  Crystal’s thin eyebrows twitched. “But your pink dress was so pretty.”

  “It was a dress,” I said, moving to walk past her, but she latched onto my arm.

  “Jess.” Her voice was shaking. “It was black.”

  My attempted lie faded, but all I could say was, “Oh.”

  Her grip tightened. “What happened to you?”

  “I don’t know.” I dreaded my answer. “I have no idea.”

  “You need to see someone, a hypnotist or a specialist, maybe—”

  “Why would I need to do that?”

  “Because you don’t remember anything,” she said, tapping her own head. “And that slice on your shoulder—”

  “What slice on my shoulder?”

  She rolled her eyes, grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled it to the side. She pointed to my shoulder, but I didn’t see anything. “You didn’t have that scar before prom.”

  I only saw the smoothness of my skin. No scar. No mark. Nothing that would indicate what Crystal was pointing at.

  “You told me you scraped it against a tree branch,” Crystal explained, assuming I didn’t remember that either. “But I always suspected something else happened − between Welborn and you.” Her words were growing on my migraine. “Did he hurt you, too, because I’m about to murder all of the boys in our grade.”

  “Eric wouldn’t do that,” I defended him before my confusion defeated me. “Would he?”

  The idea of the same boy who saved me being my problem in the first place shook me. He spoke to me in class, helped me with crossword puzzles, made me tea, and dressed me. He didn’t seem like a malicious person, but neither did Robb until he choked me.

  “You have to remember something,” Crystal prompted. “Anything.”

  “I think I need to rest,” I said, grabbing my jacket.

  Automatically, Crystal grabbed her keys. “Just promise me something,” she said, using her transportation against me. “Call me if you need anything. Please.” Her small smile wasn’t the usual beaming girl I knew. “I don’t want anything to happen to my best friend.”

  Best friend. The chaos made us closer.

  “I will,” I promised, hugging her. “But, please keep this between us.”

  When I pulled back, she looped her arm with mine. “I didn’t consider anything else,” she said. “Now, let’s get you home, so you can sleep.”

  She dragged me away, but I wasn’t going to sleep. I wouldn’t be able to. Not until I figured out what happened at prom.

  I had to ask Eric if I wanted to learn anything.

  Eric

  Without classes, my week was as empty as the field in front of me. The acres stretched to the horizon, and I glanced at the address my father had written down. I was in the right place, about ten miles away from my high school, but I didn’t know why he expected me to know where to go. I didn’t see a trail of any kind or signs hinting to the gravesite’s location. I only saw dying grass spread over a field of dirt.

  I grabbed the flimsy wood and hurdled over the fence with ease. The lot was abandoned, obviously unused by whoever owned it. I bet the owner was my father.

  I had only taken two steps when my phone rang. I pulled the buzzing electronic out of my pocket and stared at my father’s picture on the screen. I didn’t know why he bothered calling when he could use his telepathy. I flipped it open anyway.

  “Where are you?”

  I continued to walk. “I’m about to go to training, don’t worry—”

  “There isn’t any training today, Eric,” he interrupted, but I couldn’t believe it. There was always training to be done. “Don’t you know what day it is?”

  “Uh—” Was this a test? “Thursday.”

  “It’s Thanksgiving.”

  “Oh,” I said, recalling we started celebrating it when my father was remarried. The only holiday the Dark had was the Naming. I hardly paid attention to the human ones.

  “Mindy’s almost finished cooking.”

  “I’ll be home soon,” I said, and he chuckled on the other end. “What are you laughing at?”

  “Did you figure it out yet?”

  I stopped walking and glanced around, half-expecting to see him following me. He knew exactly where I was the moment I told him I wasn’t at the shelter. “Not really.”

  “Look for the light,” he said before hanging up.

  I stared at the screen, watching his face blink away. This was how he taught me − detached mockery. Unfortunately, I knew I was the same way.

  I slid my phone into my pocket and looked around. Aside from the sun, there wasn’t a light in sight, and it was too early to transform. The late afternoon light would be blinding to a shade.

  I cringed, preparing myself for the worst as I contorted my vision to the Dark. Normally, the sunlight would be scorching, bright enough to blind any shade, but this time it wasn’t.

  The sun was purple, the sky was black, and a red light flickered a few yards away. I shifted out of the Dark vision only to slide back into it, just to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I wasn’t. The red light was still there, and I walked toward it.

  When I got to the edge of it, the light dissipated, and the grave appeared as if viewable by anyone, but it wasn’t. As a human, I saw grass − as a shade, I saw the thick slab of stone decorated by two pictures − her parents’ faces.

  They were young, smiling as if death hadn’t been a worry to them when the photo was taken. But that wasn’t the painful part. I could see Jessica’s face in them. She had her mother’s hair, and her father had the same concentration in his eyes she held when studying the Dark. I had only seen it once after she lost her memory, and it was as she watched the genetics documentary in class. She was fascinated. It wasn’t until she looked over that I turned back to the film.

  I had seen the movie before. The Dark explained more than history to us. As children, they also taught us the science of our people, and that included our genetics. The Dark gene was beyond dominant − a recessive gene didn’t even exist. If it did, I doubted our kind would still be alive. The only fallacy came when we bred with the Light. Their genes didn’t mix with ours, and the children of half-breeds would always be human.

  When I found that out, I was surprised marriages weren’t arranged like they used to be one hundred years ago. Apparently, my great-grandfather had changed that rule. And it was the catalyst for our bloodline’s power returning.

  I rocked onto my heels as I looked down at the deceased couple I would never meet, the people who had given life to my only love, my only weakness.

  “I don’t know how this works,” I started, wondering if I had to speak aloud for them to hear me or not. “But I’m here to ask you something.”

  …

  Thanksgiving was awkward. Mindy wanted all of us to share what we were thankful for, and I didn’t know what I could say, other than family. Mindy was beaming at that, but I was more guilty than grateful. My nerves were still twisting from the gravesite. I did what I meant to do, and I didn’t regret it, but I worried if I would ever have a chance to finish what I promised to complete. The fact she and Noah were putting up the Christmas tree didn’t help either. It already had three gifts below it, and I knew it wasn’t for the holiday. My birthday was two weeks away.

 

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