“I really think we should talk, Jess. We have to talk about it sooner or later—Linda and I—Jess, I think you should consider—” Robb’s rambling was breaking my concentration. “Zac told me, and Crystal said you’re—dreaming.”

  It was beautiful. The sky, I mean. It was clearer than anything else around me, and the midnight color mixed with the stormy clouds like an obscure painting. I wanted to paint it right now – right now, like how Robb and Linda weren’t together right now.

  Robb grabbed my arm. “Are you even listening to me?” His face swayed from side to side, and I could smell the bar on him.

  My shoulder blades were digging into the brick wall. “No,” I said, but it came out sounding like, “Err—mo.”

  “Jess?” Robb was infuriated. “What do I need to do to get your attention?”

  “Monthin.” I meant to say nothing, but Robb wasn’t deterred.

  “I know one way,” he said, and then he kissed me.

  He wasn’t suave, and he wasn’t delicate about it. He was desperate, and the taste of beer glided over my tongue. I wanted to puke.

  “Let me go,” I mumbled, pushing his chest with my hand, but he shoved his leg against my thigh and missed my lips the second time. “Robb,” I screeched, scratching him across the face.

  He jerked back. “Stop shouting,” he screamed himself, latching onto the same wrist I just freed. His grip stung the insides of my hand.

  “You’re hurting me.”

  “You’re overreacting—”

  I screamed as loud as I could and yelped when his hand wrapped around my throat. I froze, eyes locked with Robb − my friend − as he glared down at me. His threatening gaze was as tenacious as his hold. I wasn’t sure if he was going to kiss me or yell at me again, but he was interrupted.

  A vehicle squealed onto the curb, and the door opened before it came to a complete stop. “Hey!” A man’s shout caused Robb to drop his hand. “What are you doing?”

  “Stay out of it,” Robb growled back, but he didn’t bother looking over. Instead, he grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. “This isn’t your problem.”

  I stumbled, looking behind me as the other man followed. He was a silhouette in the headlights. “Let her go.”

  Robb released me but spun around like he was going to fight. The other guy punched him across the face first. I fell to the ground in shock, landing in a puddle of freezing water as the rain escalated. Robb reared back, and the other guy grabbed his wrist, twisting it around his back before kicking him forward. Robb stumbled, splashing water across my face, but he didn’t look at me. He refocused on his opponent.

  “I’d think twice before you turn this into a real fight,” the other guy warned.

  Robb stared at him. “Whatever,” he growled, turning his shoulder as he stomped away. “She’s your responsibility now.” I watched him turn a corner before I realized the other guy was kneeling next to me.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, and he froze when I met his eyes.

  He had the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen − as green as the blooming world in the summer. They sparkled in the rain, and they misted over as they searched mine.

  “Jessica?” His voice had dropped into a whisper.

  I studied his face, trying to put the facial features together. When I did, I could hardly breathe. Eric Welborn.

  “I’m fine.” I was too embarrassed to say anything else. I couldn’t even look at him. Instead, I stared at the cuts on my shins and pushed myself up. My knees shook, and I grabbed the nearest wall to support myself. I stumbled against the brick wall, the world spinning as fast as my stomach was churning. I lost my balance, tumbling to the ground, but he caught me.

  “Whoa.” His breath brushed against my neck. “You’ve been drinking.”

  “Just a little,” I said, hoping it didn’t sound as slurred to him as it did to me.

  “A little?” Eric didn’t have to say he didn’t believe me. “I think you’ve had too much, Ms. Taylor.”

  My name reminded me of the fact that I was with a fellow student. He would tell, and everyone would know what Robb had done. What had Robb done? The memories already slipped away with my raging emotions.

  “I didn’t—” I sniffled and gasped for breath through my tears.

  Eric tensed as I dug my nails into his shirt. His warm clothes comforted me. I just wanted to crawl into bed – bed, and be warm − warm and comfortable − comfortable and wait − wait for my dream boy to come back to me. I didn’t want to be here.

  “What did Robb do to you, Jessica?” Eric’s voice hardened.

  I wiped the tears from my face, telling myself it was only rain that drenched my body. “What are you talking about?” I tried to lie despite the fact that he had seen, but Eric wasn’t playing along.

  “Robb.” His eyes were no longer sparkling. They were cold and blank. “Robb McLain.”

  My drunken mind wasn’t agreeing with my thoughts. Nothing in my body wanted to work, but my hand met my neck, and the soreness traveled through me. “He—he choked me.”

  Eric’s jaw locked as he looked away, but he didn’t stop holding me up. When he cursed, his voice shook his torso. It was only then that I realized my hand had gone from my neck to his shirt. “I’m going to kick his ass tomorrow—”

  “No,” I begged. “Please. No.”

  “I don’t want you to get treated that way,” he said, shifting his tone with disappointment. “And you shouldn’t either.”

  I wanted to shout at him, but I pulled away instead, and my knees hit the ground again. I didn’t care that I was sitting in a puddle. The cold water had already seeped into my clothes.

  A wave of water moved over my feet, and I glanced up to see Eric kneeling in front of me. He wasn’t leaving. “You’re really shaken up, aren’t you?” The thunder made it almost impossible to hear him.

  He was still for a moment, but then he moved, and the lightning blinded me. His arms were wrapped around my torso, and he had pulled me into his lap. His embrace startled me, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t want to move.

  I relaxed against his chest, drawn into the moment I needed more than anything. It wasn’t until I pressed my ear against his torso that I heard it.

  Thud-thump. Thud-thump. Thud-thump. The heartbeat was unmistakable. It was his heartbeat − the dream boy’s − and he was here, with me, holding me, being with me. He wasn’t gone.

  “I was afraid you’d never come back,” I whispered against his shirt, unable to move away from the familiar sound I yearned to hear.

  “What?” Eric leaned back instead. “What did you just say?”

  “Nothing, Shoman,” I muttered, wishing he would move back, but he was moving further away.

  He stood up, and his hands shook when they grabbed mine. He pulled me to my feet. “I should probably get you home—” he started to speak, but I intervened.

  I kissed him.

  He pulled away. “Jessica.” His expression was contorted with intensity. I could still taste him on my lips, but he was rambling. “Don’t,” he stuttered.

  I didn’t listen.

  I kissed him again. This time, he didn’t fight it. His hands fell to my hips, and his fingers dug through my rain-drenched clothes. He pulled me closer, and he kissed me in a way I had never been kissed before. It was careful, light and loving, and my heart synced with the sound of his. He was everything until thunder shattered between us.

  I leapt back, and the rain poured as cold as snow. I hugged myself with shaky hands as Eric exhaled. His breath fogged out in front of him, mixing with mine.

  He didn’t meet my eyes before he turned to his car. “I’ll drive you home,” he said.

  I took a step forward, but my knees were shaking, and the clarity I had while kissing him dissipated. The drunkenness of my night returned with a vengeance, and Eric grabbed my arm to steady me.

  “Thanks for the help,” I heard myself whisper. I hadn’t even thought of the words.

  He glanced over his shoulder with pained eyes. “You’re welcome.”

  Eric

  “Jessica.” I raised my voice as I reached behind my seat and tapped her leg. With the rain pouring down, I didn’t want to take my eyes off of the road, but she had stopped responding. “Jessica. Wake up.”

  A murmuring broke through the screeching of my windshield wipers. She was hardly conscious, and I was in trouble.

  “Jessica, I need to take you home.” I hoped the threatening tone would help her concentrate.

  “No,” she begged. “Please. Anything but home.” She gurgled like she was going to throw up.

  A curse escaped me.

  My presence would be impossible to explain. No one would believe it was a coincidence, but I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t take her home, and I wouldn’t leave her on the street. I had to take her to my house, but that meant I had to tell Urte. I dialed him before I stopped myself.

  “Are you okay?” His tone startled me.

  “Uh—hey. I’m fine,” I said. “But I need your help.”

  “Eric,” Urte sounded like my father. “What happened?”

  “It’s a long story,” I said. “My father can’t know—”

  His lecture began before he even knew the situation. He was programmed to expect the worst. Unfortunately, he was right this time.

  “I didn’t do anything. I swear,” I rambled. “I just happened to be out and she—”

  “She?” Now, he was really panicking. “You better not be talking about Jess.”

  I sighed, and that was enough of an answer. He scorned me, and I tried to get a few words in whenever he paused. “Yes, Urte. I know,” I repeated. “Yes. Yes. She’s fine. Just listen to me.”

  Urte was silent as I explained.

  “She’s passed out in the backseat of my car,” I said. “I know I’m not supposed to leave Hayworth. It was a coincidence. She was with another guy from school. I helped her out, okay? She was in trouble.”

  My head was splitting as I squinted through the darkness. I had never realized how dark the dark actually was until I was stuck as a human. But my emotions were the same. My blood was rushing with adrenaline, and it was taking everything in me not to drive to Robb’s house and wait for him to return. I wanted to kill him for touching Jessica.

  “I didn’t do anything,” I repeated, knowing I hadn’t been listening. “I can’t take her home.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  “And how am I supposed to explain to her parents why I was with her while she was drunk? They don’t even know who I am,” I pointed out. “She’s coming to my house. We’ll deal with everything else later.”

  He was shouting, and I put my phone on my lap until he stopped.

  “You aren’t changing my mind,” I said.

  “Then, I’m sending help.” He hung up.

  “Hey.”

  A girl appeared in my backseat, and her white hair flashed in my rearview mirror. I nearly lost control of my vehicle. “Camille.”

  She gripped the back of my chair, shifting herself beneath Jessica. “At least I didn’t transport on top of her,” she said.

  I gripped my wheel as I hit the highway. The car rumbled as it picked up speed.

  Camille was Teresa as soon as she spoke again, “What the hell, Eric?”

  “I already heard it from Urte.”

  “What happened?” she asked, and I looked at her in the rearview mirror as she scrunched up her nose. “And what is that smell?”

  “She’s drunk.”

  Camille lifted Jessica’s feet into her lap. “Jess drinks?”

  “She doesn’t,” I said. As far as I knew, Jessica avoided things like that, but I knew her friends didn’t. “She was with Robb McLain. Crystal wasn’t around, surprisingly.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what happened. “Jonathon wasn’t either.”

  “He’s busy tonight.”

  “Too busy to protect Jessica?”

  “He’s not her babysitter,” Camille argued. “Drinking doesn’t justify protection.”

  “It should.” I waited for the Hayworth exit to appear in the misty rain.

  “This isn’t your responsibility,” Camille said.

  “She’ll always be my responsibility.”

  “You’re being stubborn.” She glowered. “You should take her home and let her get in trouble like a typical teenager.”

  “So her parents can figure something out?” The words formed on their own. “I think Jessica remembers me.”

  “That’s ridiculous—”

  “She kissed me, Camille.”

  My guard didn’t speak again, even after I took the exit and drove through Hayworth. I recognized Camille’s silence as something from our childhood. Whenever we got into a debate, she accepted defeat with silence. The argument was over, but I wished I hadn’t been able to win this one.

  I kept my mind as mute as our conversation until I pulled into my driveway. The old car lunged as it crept up the hill. I shifted it into park. The rain was no longer pounding on the roof of the car, but the trees were swaying dangerously low.

  “Let’s get her inside,” Camille said.

  I unbuckled my seatbelt and stepped outside, joining Camille. I opened the door Jessica was leaned against and held her up, so she didn’t fall onto the pavement. My fingers tingled. Jessica had control over me, even when she was unconscious. I had to concentrate.

  “I can get her,” Camille offered.

  I shook my head and slipped my arm beneath her knees to pick her up. She curled against my chest, and her hand landed on my sternum. She grumbled as the hair fell out of her face, and I followed Camille to my house.

  My guard opened the door, and we walked up the stairs. “Where are you putting her?” Camille asked.

  I shifted my head toward my room. “I’ll stay on the couch downstairs,” I explained my decision before she could argue.

  “I’m sure you could use your father’s bed,” Camille said, pushing open my bedroom door.

  “And risk him wondering why things were moved around? No, thank you.”

  “Good point,” Camille laughed, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile.

  I laid Jessica on my bed and stepped back as quickly as I could. I didn’t want to touch her any longer than I had to. I expected Camille to say something – anything, really − but she walked toward Jessica instead. She grabbed the straps of Jessica’s dress and pulled them over her shoulders.

  I spun around, facing my back to them. “What—what are you doing?” I shut my eyes as the sound of Camille’s fingers grazing Jessica’s wet skin filled my ears. A thud landed near my feet, and I peeked. A black bra was on my foot.

  “Please, tell me you weren’t planning on leaving this girl in drenched clothes all night,” Camille said. “She’ll freeze.”

  I stepped away from the undergarment. “But—”

  “Honestly, Eric,” Camille teased. “She’s practically your wife.”

  “Stop it.”

  “Fine,” she sung. “Give me a shirt.”

  I opened my dresser and pulled a clean shirt out. I tossed it over my shoulder, hoping Camille would catch it, and then grabbed a pair of boxer shorts. “You’ll probably need these, too.”

  “Thanks.”

  I locked my knees, glaring at my wall. I wouldn’t look. Not for a second. It would be too disrespectful to Jessica. Whether we were meant to be together or not, we weren’t now, and I wasn’t going to act like we were.

  “Give me one more minute,” Camille said, and the sounds of clothing moving ricocheted through me.

  I had to distract myself.

  I opened my drawer and picked up the black box my father gave me. I knew that my mother had given it to me for a reason, and the reasoning was starting to become clear, but I needed to do something before I actually used it.

  “All done,” Camille announced, and I shoved the box in my pocket before my guard saw.

  I turned around and shuddered at the sight of Jessica in my clothes, asleep on my bed. “Won’t she wonder how she was changed?”

  Camille beamed. “Tell her you did it.”

  “What?” My chest was tight.

  “I’m sure she’ll understand.” My guard collected the wet heap of clothes on the floor. “I’ll wash these and have them back before morning.”

  “Thank you, Camille.”

  She walked toward the exit, only lingering to put a hand on my shoulder. “And, Eric?” she started. “Don’t let this get to you too much.” Her words remained minutes after she left, and I sat next to Jessica, unable to move.

  “Don’t let this get to me too much?” I repeated, laying my head in my hands only to peek through my fingers.

  Even with my t-shirt on, I could see her bruises, and I wondered why Camille hadn’t said anything. Then again, it was probably the reason she hadn’t said anything at all. My guard trusted me despite my flaws, and it was Camille’s trust that I valued the most in the Dark. The elders always assumed I did the worst. Camille knew I only did the worst when I was forced into it.

  I sprang to my feet before I dwelled in my emotions. I walked to my door, and then I returned to Jessica’s side, leaned down, and kissed her on the forehead. “Good night, Jessica,” I said, staying by her side before I disappeared like everyone else had that night.

  Jessica

  The afternoon light woke me up. It spewed through the slit of the black curtains and landed across my eyes. I squinted, groaned, and turned over. My eyes were stinging, and my head was consumed by a migraine stronger than any headache I ever had before. The taste in my mouth was worse, but my blankets smelt wonderful − they smelt like a boy.

  My heart lunged into my throat as I sprung up, glancing around the bedroom. It wasn’t mine. It wasn’t even in my house. But I recognized it − the stark cleanliness mixed with the strange creep of light coming from beneath the desk. I knew it was a nightlight. I had figured that out last semester.

 

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