Silver, page 29
“Won’t you have a seat?” she offered, indicating a choice of several. “I’ve ordered some tea.”
She glanced at the door, a nervous smile ready on her lips.
“Gemma won’t be long,” she said.
As if rehearsed, a young girl appeared at the door, dressed in a similar livery to the footman, a deep jet black shot with emerald stripes. Her uniform was as stark against her pale skin as the surrounds of the room. I suspected the clothes were also new.
“Ah, here she is.”
Mrs. Evesham settled a little as the young maid busied herself with a tea tray. The diversion allowed me a brief interlude in which to study Mrs. Evesham again. She was not a tall woman but she held herself proudly which added an inch or so to her average frame. It was difficult to put an age to her. In my mind, I had rather settled on her being around fifty but on closer inspection there was more evidence of aging at the corners of her eyes. Her neck too was lined and I imagined she was more likely to be around my father’s age. As was. The thought of him brought me back to my reason for business and I shuffled forward on my seat, both anxious to interrogate this woman but also to be gone from her pristine new home. The gesture was enough to nudge Mrs. Evesham from her own reveries and she looked at me and then the maid.
“Thank you, Gemma, that will be all.”
The young girl retreated from the room, pausing only to acknowledge her mistresses last order with a nod.
“Ensure we are not disturbed please.”
I watched with a growing sense of unease as the door slowly closed to leave the two of us alone. I was suddenly afraid of what I may learn from this woman.
“Forgive Gemma she has brought the old service. It is rather fine but it does not match the new decor.”
Mrs. Evesham picked up her cup, examining the perfectly acceptable floral pattern carefully before replacing it on its saucer.
“I would like to say she is new and didn’t know any better but alas she is simply a careless girl.”
She smiled and pulled a face as if to say, such is life and she shrugged.
“She is however the daughter of the woman who makes the finest pastries this side of Paris,” she looked at me conspiratorially, her eyes twinkled and she gestured towards a strand of fancies. I noticed her hand shaking slightly as she spooned a sugar in to her tea. She lifted a cup and saucer and began to pour.
“Not for me, thank you’,” I said.
She looked a little disheartened and it was as much for her benefit as mine that I added, ‘perhaps in a moment’.
“Mrs. Evesham...”
“Please, do call me Elizabeth.”
“Mrs. Evesham,” I tried to plough on but she fixed me with a pleading look. “Elizabeth...” I conceded. “You knew my father.” All of my well practised words seemed useless and I cast around searching for the phrases upon which I had decided.
She didn’t seem to have heard me or else she had her own version of how this conversation should begin. She set her cup and saucer down upon the table and sat forward on the edge of the chair seat. She looked at me searchingly.
“I had thought perhaps that if we ever met, you would remember me.”
She had caught me off guard and I was at once aware that I was gaping. I narrowed my eyes and looked at her again. I tried to cast around in my mind for any memory of the woman but there was none. I rested my head on one side and considered her. As I did so, she looked at me regarding her and, with an amused tone, she added.
“Ha! There is no reason you should Imogen. I thought I would have recognised you, even after all these years but of course I don’t.” Her eyes searched over my face. “Do you know........I can see Avery in you.” Her eyes narrowed and my skin crawled with the intimacy of her tone.
“Tell me the rest?” I uttered slowly.
She rose and stepped behind the chair upon which she has just been sitting. It was a series of movements that she made fluid and my heart leapt at the suddenness of it. She braced her hands on the back of the chair, her head down.
“Mrs. Evesham?” I asked but she held out her hand to quiet me.
“If I don’t get this out, I am afraid I never will.” She looked me straight in the eye and I nodded.
“I don’t know what your relationship with your father was like,” she continued. “or what you know of his past. I don’t know how valuable you will find what I have to tell you but for my own part I feel a great injustice on his part being done to him. Imogen, your father was a wonderful man and there is no doubt in my mind, none whatsoever, that he was a man. There is nothing any Coroner, Newspaper or Doctor could say to convince me otherwise. I have no intention of being base about this Imogen but we are each more than the sum of our bodily parts. There are men I have met who had been born blind but could see things more clearly than any sighted man, crippled men who stood taller than my own husband ever could and your father who was twice the man than many believe themselves to be.
“In the years since I last met your father, I have met and regarded many men with interest and respect. I have known eminent actors, skilled surgeons, doctors, lawyers and politicians. I have even met with Royalty.’ She gave a flourish with her hand. ‘I have met this country’s finest minds…and some of the not so fine.” she added with a smile.
“In all those men, I have never come across such a paradox as your father. That he was born a woman, I suppose, is the crudest and most obvious but more than that, he was a truly intriguing person. Forgive me Imogen but you look like a woman of the new century so I will speak plainly with you. There are very few people in this world that are truly original, who can provoke within others genuine fascination. Most people have access to a great quantity of words which they can organise into a modicum of intelligent conversation but having listened to them you realise they are saying very little.
“When I first met Avery in the sweeping halls of Cleveland Street, I was drawn to him instantly. True, there was something unusual about him but, more than that, he looked at me as if he had the answer to a question I hadn’t even posed. I hope I do not embarrass or upset you but I am not ashamed to admit that there was an instant attraction. He had such a beautiful face, which was a paradox in itself, of strong jaw but soft skin. He had a quiet confidence that normally attractive men exert in an unattractive conceit. As we talked, it became obvious that he had much more to offer than just a fine looking face. He surprised and intrigued me. That night and the next day, when I met him in Hyde park, I will admit I was excited at the prospect of his being in my life. By the time I had left him a second time, I felt truly alight.”
Elizabeth cast a glance at me to see how I was taking the story. Ordinarily, I might have felt uncomfortable at this acknowledgement of my father’s private life, particularly from a woman that was not my mother, but I found I was pleased. I found I was desperate to hear more. She went on.
“Meeting him was doubly difficult as I was due to be married the following year. It was not a match for love but one that I wholeheartedly advocated for position and wealth. I was a cynic about love and of affection and had not met a man who had made me question that. I wanted to spend more time getting to know Avery but of course my family had different ideas. My father thought the city was a bad influence on me and was concerned that my reputation would become tainted and jeopardise my marriage prospects. My aunt offered to take me under her wing for some ‘guidance’. If that wasn’t the worst of it, they had decided to couple me with the daughter of her fiancé who herself was in need of tutelage. When I found out that I was to be sent to the country for the rest of the summer, I was furious, but there was little I could do to send word to Avery. We had arranged to meet in a few days time but I did not know where he lived. So I sent word by the only way I could think of; via a mutual acquaintance, a man by the name Giles Bateman. The following week went terribly slowly. The seclusion, the silence of the country and the company of my miserable aunt could have been borne under normal circumstances but I couldn’t help but think of Avery. You know what it is like when you are young and you find someone who is rare, you cannot help but think of them. By day and by night I thought of him, hardly giving a moments thought to the young charge who was arriving for my help.”
The old woman paused and closed her eyes and I felt she was herself transported back several decades to when her heart beat fast with the yearning.
“You can’t imagine the blow I was dealt when I arrived back from a walk in the country air one day and found Avery seated beside my aunt, taking tea upon the terrace wearing a dress. It was…..,” she searched for a word, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “……..absurd.”
“He was lucky I could remain so composed and frankly, the shock must have played a hand. There was no doubt though that it was entirely absurd. The last time I had seen him, he had been dressed in a well cut suit, he had been charming, he had made me tremble and then there he was sitting in a dress with, and this was somehow worse, a demure and lifeless demeanour.
“I was furious with him, of course, but more than that, I felt cheated. Yes, cheated. He had stolen himself from me and the woman that had replaced him made my skin crawl. She was insincere and awkward and yet possessed him so utterly. I am not sure that this makes any sense but that is how it felt. It is entirely down to my upbringing that I managed to remain in role but the moment I was in my room, I am not ashamed to admit that I screamed into my mattress, I thrashed and kicked about with a pure rage. At first I felt foolish, that his dressing as a man were some elaborate game to keep himself amused or could it be the other way around and at that very minute, Avery was dressed as a woman to entertain himself. I will admit that this thought fuelled my anger and in my anger at him, I was surprised to feel desire. It was my desire for him which confused me the most. Was it him I desired or was it her? I have to admit that part of me was disgusted at the idea but another part of me was intrigued and I had to find him to put my disordered mind at rest. I went to see him and I knew as soon as I saw him that I desired him and the incongruous costume only made me feel sick. Don’t look at me like that Imogen. You would feel the same, I am sure. I am a woman of the world and I have known many a woman fallen foul of Sapphic pleasures; from the tidiest of housemaids to the haughtiest of dignitary’s wives. I also know that I am not in the least bit interested in taking my pleasure with a woman.”
I had to interrupt her. There was a boundary that was dangerously close to being crossed.
“Please, Mrs. Evesham…Elizabeth. You said that you knew my mother.”
She looked at me awkwardly, the remainder of her speech drying up on her lips and she appraised me as if only just seeing me in the room. It was an odd moment and I understood that this was probably the first time she had retold any of the story and I felt sorry for having interrupted her train of thought.
“Forgive me, please continue,” I said.
It was too late and, though I was sorry for interrupting her, I was relieved when she started her recollection from a new narrative.
“It’s taken me many years to admit but your mother was much the prettier of the two of us which, at the time, piqued me. I wasn’t jealous of course but it irritated me how she could look so resplendent wearing only her drab uniform. Her hair was always tied away under a cap but an innocent curl here and there would work loose during the chores of the day and it would frame her perfectly clear complexion like a work of art. On its own, her natural beauty would not have bothered me but she also had this perfectly adorable little figure and, whether she knew it or not and I suspect she didn’t, she knew how to make it work to her advantage. Forgive me, Imogen, but some women have a natural understanding of how their body moves and others can work for many years on achieving the same thing and never come close. Your mother was petite, beautiful and confident. I saw immediately the effect this had on your father even though, at the time, she could not.’
As Mrs. Evesham spoke, I think I was so confused about what she was saying that I initially passed over some of the detail. My mother in a uniform? I listened as she continued with her story.
Chapter Twenty Four - Elizabeth, 1869
The following day, Elizabeth could not forget the shiver that ran down her spine when Avery’ lips had pressed to her neck. As she watched him across the breakfast table passing over a salt cellar to Georgina, she could not decide whether she had been relieved or disappointed when he leapt away from her as the sound of the door handle being unlatched indicated the arrival of Kate. The sudden movement had not gone unnoticed from the young maid and Elizabeth had noticed the flush of blood upon the girl’s clear cheeks and the rushed manner with which she hustled around the room. Avery had been almost apologetic towards her and Elizabeth’s curiosity had been stoked so that now at the table she ventured a sly enquiry.
“Avery. I noticed that young Miss Ward was looking very drawn yesterday. It seems the country air does not suit her. I would be happy to have Helen wait upon you if you would think you could do without her?”
Georgina raised an eyebrow at this out of character concern for domestic staff. Avery’s reaction was not so calm.
“There is nothing wrong with Kate. She is to stay here with me.”
His tone was curt and he immediately saw the reason for her concern as Elizabeth received his flapped admission with a secretive smile. She flashed him a gracious smile and sat back in her chair. Elizabeth did not have to wait long to see how far she could push her advantage. After breakfast, Georgina announced that there would be a visitor to the house.
“Mrs. Rutherford is an old friend of mine. She is interested to find how you girls are taking to the country. It should only take her a few hours from Enfield so we should expect her sometime after three o’clock.”
Avery barely heard. He was as uninterested in Georgina’s world as she was in his. He was already ruminating on how to resolve the issue of his double life. The run in with Giles a few weeks ago had made him uncomfortable and although a return to the town had not repeated the incident, he was not keen to return home without a plan. He and Kate had been discussing a few variations of the same scenario and his choices were growing narrower. He was therefore only half listening as Georgina continued.
“She has had an unlucky couple of months by all accounts. Her household has diminished since her husband’s death and she has now lost two maids in quick succession. Poor thing. We will probably spend much of the afternoon alone. You girls will wish to occupy yourselves in the music room no doubt?”
“How dreadful Aunt Georgina? Is she staying long with us?”
“It hasn’t been agreed Elizabeth but I expect she will stay a few days at least. I had promised to look over her finances. She has not the capacity that I have for running such an estate and I hope to educate her.”
Elizabeth smiled at the look of contentment with which this was delivered. If there was one thing which Georgina loved more than sheer meddling, it was being able to patronise and to boast. This offered her both such opportunities.
“Well, if she is in need of a maid for the next few days I am sure that Miss Silver’s girl could stand in. Cribbs has pretty much been ministering to us both this past week anyway.”
Both Avery’s and Georgina’s heads snapped upwards in unison but for different purpose. Avery flashed Elizabeth a warning glance unaware of quite what she was intending. For Georgina, it had not gone unnoticed that Avery’s maid had not been performing her own duties but had had someone else doing it for her. The questions this alone begged would be stored in the old woman’s mind for future reference.
“Well, that is a very practical solution. I had just been thinking how I could manage without Helen.”
Avery was about to argue but a crash of glass in the corridor signaled an abrupt departure for Georgina and Avery was left gawping at Elizabeth.
“Why did you just do that?” he demanded suspiciously.
“Come now Avery. Don’t be so uncharitable. You heard how the poor woman has no help upon which she can rely. After all, its only for a few days.” She smiled at him and passed out of the doorway through which Georgina had just bustled. Avery was about to drop his guard when Elizabeth’s face reappeared, a coy smile upon her face.
“Unless, that is, young Kate prefers Mrs. Rutherford’s employ…”
She had slipped away before Avery had managed to expel his annoyance at her and when he found Kate ten minutes later in Elizabeth’s room, she had already been briefed of her change in role for the next few days. Away from the context of this having been Elizabeth’s idea, Kate was perfectly quiescent.
That afternoon, Elizabeth had indeed ensured that the two of them were to be found in the music room despite the weather being glorious. As the door latched closed behind them, the reason for her insistence became clear. Avery was about to complain and suggest that they take a walk to the summer house when Elizabeth brought out a key and locked the door. An internal room, there would be no way anyone could interrupt them without their knowing.
“Whilst Kate has an opportunity to get to know Mrs. Rutherford a little better, I thought you and I could do the same.”
Though he felt manipulated and his annoyance had not abated, a wide grin spread over his face. Elizabeth, unsettled by the sight of him once more in his dress, had her doubts but sat down at the piano and began to play a simple tune.
“Will you accompany me, Avery?” she asked. “Something sombre perhaps, to suit your humour?”
Avery walked up behind her and placed his hands upon her shoulders. Elizabeth jumped a little nervously but continued to play softly on the keys. She closed her eyes and tilted her head to rest upon one of his hands, aware of how her heart beat wildly in her chest.
“I prefer something a little more lively,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her bared neck.
