Back Talk, page 11
“That’s perfect. Thank you.”
Veronica came marching over.
“Oh, we’re in trouble now,” Anne said.
“Watch this,” Hilton said. She took another photo.
“You two are supposed to be getting flyers up.” Veronica seemed not to notice that her control-freak behavior had just been photo-documented.
“All right, we’re going,” Hilton said. She stuffed the camera back in her bag.
“Start twelve blocks away and then start moving back toward the park,” Veronica instructed.
When Veronica was out of earshot, Anne asked, “What are you going to do with that photo?”
“Put it on the Web site with an applicable caption.”
Anne laughed. “You’re almost as bad as I am.”
They left Shannon resting under the tree and trudged off three blocks. Anne pointed out various architectural styles of the old houses they passed. Hilton was still stewing about what a horrible control freak Veronica was. This was classic displacement, she knew. A therapist would tell her that she was angry with Jessie for losing the bear, and she was worried about Liz losing her chance at love because of the lost bear. Veronica was only trying to help.
“Okay, let’s start here.” Her mood was improving now that she’d done some processing. She unlocked and loaded the staple gun as Anne looked on.
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“You know, power tools and tools in general have always fascinated me, but they kind of make me nervous at the same time.”
Hilton laughed. “You do have to be careful but staple guns are pretty harmless.”
“They do look pretty rudimentary,” Anne said as she handed Hilton a flyer.
They hit every telephone pole they could find for ten blocks.
“Maybe I should try the staple gun,” Anne suggested.
“Did Gerald do everything?” Hilton asked, wondering what Anne’s ex-husband looked like.
“Yes. I was always the assistant.”
“Well, then it’s high time you tried your hand at it.” Hilton put the safety latch on the gun and handed it to her. “When you’re ready, pull this off and then push down on the lever.”
Anne lined up the flyer and then perfectly stapled it. She jumped a little as the gun went off but that was all.
“See, that was awesome. Come on, let’s try some more.”
“I did jump a little.”
“I hardly noticed.”
Anne smiled at her. They hit a few more poles until they stood at the last one at the edge of the park. Shannon was still sleeping under the tree. Anne was poised to fire when she stopped. “Oh, my God, will you look at that.”
“What?” Then Hilton saw. Veronica was rubbing Jessie’s shoulders as she sat on one of the park benches. They were engrossed in discussion. She wondered where Dave and his girlfriend had gotten off to.
“What’s up with that? It almost has an element of tenderness,”
Anne said.
“I think it’s love at first sight.”
“No way!” Anne was behind her at the telephone pole and cocking the staple gun again.
“Who would have thought,” Hilton said, bemused with the idea. She could just imagine Jessie, complete with leather outfit, living happily ever after under Veronica’s domination.
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“Oh, no!” Anne screeched.
Hilton whipped around. She saw Anne’s thumb stapled to the pole. “Holy shit. Will it come off?”
“I hope so or we’ll have to call the fire department.” Anne lifted her thumb off the pole.
“That’s a good sign.” Then she saw the staple had gone clean through the corner of Anne’s thumbnail. “Kind of.”
“I might have to cry,” Anne said, peering down at it.
“Perfectly understandable.”
“I think we need to get this removed.”
Hilton whistled for Shannon, who came running, and they hus-tled over to where Veronica and Jessie were sitting.
“All finished?” Jessie said brightly.
“You could say that. Anne stapled her thumb.”
“Ouch! Let me see that.” Anne produced the damaged appendage. Veronica peered at it and winced. It was almost a wince of compassion, Hilton thought ruefully.
“I can get that out.” Jessie made for her car and came back with an opened pint of Jack Daniels and a screwdriver.
Anne was obviously mortified as Jessie came toward her. “We’ll just pop it out. But here, take a few swigs of this first.” She handed Anne the bottle.
Anne took two swigs and then took two more. “Oh, now that was a good idea.”
Hilton intervened. “Jessie, this isn’t the Wild West. We need to take her to the emergency room and have it surgically removed, like in a sterile environment.”
Jessie looked crestfallen.
“It was a nice thought, Jessie, but I think Hilton is right.
Although, the Jack Daniels makes a great painkiller,” Anne said diplomatically. She took another swig.
“You guys find Dave and Gwin and we’ll go get this taken care of. Jessie, can you take Shannon with you? And for goodness’ sakes don’t lose her,” Hilton said.
“I won’t. Then we can all meet back at the house. There’ll be 97
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less of a scene if there’s a crowd. You know, when Melissa finds out.”
“Jessie, you know our house never looks that great.” Hilton was envisioning the party days with the liquor bottles and pizza boxes everywhere and the no-longer-stain-resistant living room furniture.
“No, today is different. Well, actually from now on it’ll be different.”
“Why is that?” Hilton asked.
“The Merry Maids are coming today, and I ordered new furniture. It came this morning. The place looks great. I sent the bill to the accountant. He wasn’t real happy about it until I mentioned that as an heiress you shouldn’t be living in a biohazard. I told him Nat was gone. Then he seemed all right with the improvements.”
Anne looked on wide-eyed and then took another swig. Hilton just laughed. “So you’re in charge now.”
“Well, yeah. Look, Nat’s gone and so are the people who used to trash the house. So I took the liberty to spiff up the place and then … I lost the bear.”
“It’s going to work out. Take everyone home and we’ll meet you there.”
Anne handed Hilton the car keys. “I don’t think I can drive or should drive.”
“Are you okay? You’re not going into shock, are you?” Hilton studied the hanky that Anne had wrapped around her thumb. It was bloody.
“No, but after all the JD I don’t think I should get behind the wheel.”
Hilton drove them to Saint John’s Hospital. At one o’clock in the afternoon the emergency room was relatively slow. Hilton figured that it was the middle of the day and the middle of the week.
Not exactly prime time for auto accidents, stabbings, gunshot wounds or cutting your hand off with a table saw.
As the nurse led them to an examination room forty-five minutes later, she asked, “Are you a relative?”
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“Yes, Hilton’s my sister and I’m going to need her moral support.”
“All right, then. The doctor will be with you shortly.”
“That was quick on your part,” Hilton whispered.
“Aren’t we all brothers and sisters in God’s eyes? Is this like a Homoslavia issue?”
“Yes, and one of the big ones. Usually, we lie like you just did but sometimes it doesn’t work and then we run into problems.”
Anne sat on the exam table and Hilton took the chair. She hated hospitals. It always reminded her of Gran dying and the months she had spent there waiting for death to come.
The doctor came in. “So what do we have here?” He was young with dark hair and dressed in wrinkled green scrubs. He peered down at her thumbnail. “Ouch.”
“That’s what I said,” Anne replied.
“Were you drinking when you did this?” the doctor asked as he prepared a syringe.
“No, that was afterward, but I did turn down an offer to have it plucked out with a screwdriver.”
“Good choice. This is going to prick a bit. It’s a shot of Novocain just to numb it up.”
“I think that’s a marvelous idea.”
Hilton’s cell phone went off. It was Liz frantically yelling, “Tell me those flyers I saw on the way home weren’t for our bear.”
Hilton took a deep breath. “Liz, it’s all right. Jessie is on her way home and I’ll be there as soon as we get the staple removed from Anne’s thumb.”
“Oh, my, is she all right?”
Hilton looked over at Anne, who smiled at her weakly. “Not exactly, but she’s got balls.”
Hilton turned away when the doctor took out a pair of what looked like pliers and prepared to yank. She took another deep breath.
“Are you all right?” Liz asked.
“I’m not good at this kind of stuff.”
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“She lost the bear, right?”
“Yes, at the park. We put up flyers everywhere around there.
Liz, we’ll find the bear. Get out the good brandy and a box of Excaliber cigars and start taking her mind off the bear.”
“Why brandy and cigars?”
“It artificially induces dopamine into the system. It makes you feel better.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Neither did I until I read it in a magazine in the waiting room.”
“Hilton?”
“Yes.”
“Is Melissa going to hate me?”
“No, she’s going to be extremely angry with Jessie. You’re going to be her shoulder to cry on, her port in the storm, her staff of moral support …”
“Stop. One more cliche and I’ll puke.”
“Sorry. We’ll be home soon.” Hilton looked over at Anne, who was having her thumb bandaged up.
“Hilton, what happened to the house?”
“Ask Jessie.”
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Chapter Eight
Hilton and Anne finally got to the house about five-thirty.
They had to stop and get gauze, tape and Anne’s prescription for antibiotics filled. Hilton guided them through the back door knowing that the living room was most likely quite busy. Veronica was in the kitchen making a cheese and cracker platter that looked like something straight out of Martha Stewart’s magazine. Hilton noticed she’d changed from her office attire to tight black pants and a green and blue paisley ruffled blouse. Her long brown hair hung down her back and swirled around her firm breasts. She was actually beautiful in that haute couture way, Hilton thought.
Veronica looked up from her work. “How’s the thumb?”
Anne held it up. “The doctor says I’ll get to keep the thumb and lose the nail. I can handle that. I’ve got to keep in wrapped and in this splint for a few days to protect it.”
Hilton peeked around the corner into the living room, where she could hear Melissa crying. Liz was sitting next to her, holding 101
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her hand and looking empathetic. Jessie was prostrate before her, sitting crouched on the floor, most likely promising things she couldn’t deliver. This was only the second time she’d seen Melissa.
The night at the party she’d only noticed that she was petite and blond. Now Hilton took a harder look. Melissa had a pretty face with a slightly upturned nose and dark brown eyes. She looked exactly like the Barbie doll’s friend Skipper. It was a pity that losing the bear was probably going to remove her from their lives.
Jessie got up and came in the kitchen. She handed Anne a cigar and a brandy, which had been sitting on the counter. “It’s not going over well,” she said.
“Give her a minute,” Hilton said hopefully. She noticed that Jessie had also changed. She was wearing jeans and a tight white T-shirt that showed off her well-defined shoulders and firm abdomen. She picked up one of the radishes off the tray Veronica was preparing. It looked like a tiny red chicken complete with wings and a little beak. “I’ve never actually known anyone who could do that,” she said, pointing at the radishes.
Veronica smiled. “It’s quite simple actually. When I’m nervous I do things like this.”
“You’re so thoughtful,” Jessie said as she touched Veronica’s shoulder.
“I don’t want to be part of the problem. I want to help solve it.”
Anne was in the process of lighting her cigar and started to choke. At first, Hilton though she was being facetious about Veronica’s comment but then concluded that Anne had no idea what she was doing. Melissa and Liz came into the room.
“I did the same thing,” Melissa said. She smiled weakly and Liz squeezed her hand.
“The guys make it look so easy,” Anne said, gesturing with the cigar.
“You have to suck slowly and hold the smoke in your mouth and then exhale,” Jessie said. She lit her own with absolute finesse.
“I’ll try it again if you will,” Anne said to Melissa.
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“Okay,” Melissa said. She took a cigar from the box on the kitchen counter.
Both she and Anne sucked slowly and didn’t inhale this time, and both executed a near-perfect display of cigar smoking.
“Awesome,” Jessie said.
Hilton took this time to sneak into the living room and check out the new stuff. The mangy cloth sofa had been replaced with a chic brown leather one with a matching chair and ottoman. A flat-screen television replaced the old set. One wall of the living room now housed a cherry wood entertainment center complete with a state-of-the-art stereo system. The wood floor had been scrubbed clean and almost looked shiny, and a beautiful red rug with strate-gically placed different colored geometric circles was placed in the middle of the room.
“It’s Peruvian,” Jessie said. “But it was on sale. It’s handwoven and helps the economy of the native people. Something about an art co-op thing. I don’t know. I just thought it was a cool rug.”
“Nice, Jessie. I had no idea you had such good taste,” Hilton said.
“I have taste, just no cash to go with it. You really don’t mind?”
“No. I have cash and no taste. Maybe you could fix up the place.” Hilton gave her a hug. “Thanks, Jessie.” She was beginning to feel better about Nat being gone. “Maybe we should paint too,”
she mused, staring at the dingy white walls. The ceiling in the living room had a water stain from a plumbing problem upstairs.
“And fix the plumbing,” Jessie suggested.
“Now that no one will sleep with the plumber,” Hilton replied.
“How about a new fridge?” Liz said as she came into the room followed by Melissa, Anne and Veronica.
“One that doesn’t leak,” Hilton replied.
“Exactly. No more bailing out the produce crisper,” Liz said.
She flounced down on the couch and Melissa snuggled up next to her.
“What a concept,” Hilton said.
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“Are you feeling better about the changes in your life?” Liz asked her.
Hilton took a sip of her brandy, surveyed the room again and nodded. “I do believe I am. If we change some things around I might actually forget about her.”
Jessie gave her a look that said, “Not in this lifetime.”
“I can dream,” Hilton said.
“Hilton’s girlfriend dumped her for this biker chick,” Jessie explained to the others. “I mean, the chick is hot but she doesn’t hold a candle to Hilton.”
“Jessie!” Liz reprimanded.
“I’m only telling it like it is,” Jessie said. She sat down cross-legged on the rug. Anne took the chair and Hilton sat down next to Melissa on the couch. Veronica sat primly on the ottoman.
“Hilton, I’m so sorry. I know just how you must feel,” Melissa said. She patted Hilton’s thigh sympathetically.
In that moment Hilton knew Melissa would be all right and that she was the best thing that ever could have happened to Liz.
“Thanks, Melissa.”
“You’re right, though, if you change things it reminds you less,”
Melissa said. She took Liz’s hand and smiled at her benevolently.
“Liz is helping me forget.”
“Oh, hey, Hilton, I forgot to show you the best part,” Jessie said as she jumped up. She flipped on the stereo. “I got us XM satellite radio and get this, it’s got a salsa station.” She found the station and grabbed Veronica.
Veronica, Hilton, Jessie and Liz knew how to dance.
“Why it that?” Anne asked as the four of them danced together.
“Jessie dated a salsa instructor for about a month and we all got free lessons,” Liz said.
“Who’d you date?” Veronica asked as she and Jessie swayed in perfect time to the music.
“Chichita Alvarez,” Jessie said.
“So did I,” Veronica said. “She was hot.”
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“But crazy and possessive,” Jessie added.
Anne looked at Hilton inquiringly. “No, we don’t all date the same people and yes, I’m going to teach you how,” Hilton replied.
Liz took Melissa’s hand and led her out on the floor. Jessie turned the music up a notch higher and soon Melissa and Liz were getting it together.
“You know I’m rhythmically impaired,” Anne said, following Hilton to an empty area in the corner of the room.
