Callum, page 9
The assistant director backs out of the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.
I talk to my dad for a while, then I perform a set of arm and leg exercises to keep his atrophied muscles from tightening. I’m a pro at emptying a catheter bag and I have no problem cleaning my father, but a young aide comes in to introduce himself and cares for my dad’s needs while we chat.
Once I’m settled back in a chair by his bed, this is normally when I would just sit quietly. After all, there are only so many things you can say to a man who can’t understand or reply.
And yet I find myself talking again. “I don’t know how to feel about Callum.” My dad stares at the ceiling and blinks once, not in response to my words but because his body is programmed to do so. “I mean… I’m so grateful for what he’s done for me. I would have never escaped Joshua without his help because I couldn’t afford to care for you. Callum helping us out temporarily was the escape route I needed. And my attorney says I’m entitled to half of everything under Nevada law, which will be enough money to keep you living in high style for the rest of your life. I can pay Callum back and then… well, we’ll decide where we’ll go later, but I can take care of you on my own then.”
There’s no reply, but I try to imagine what my dad would say to me. We were thick as thieves before his accident and it’s been terribly lonely these last several years without my parents.
I know he’d tell me to be forgiving of Callum because he told me those exact words when Callum broke things off. Well, not exactly those words, but my dad was a bit more circumspect about the ultimatum I’d given Callum and his refusal to meet my demands. Dad felt we were both too young to be drawing such deep lines in the sand and he predicted there’d be a day when we’d both regret it.
“Juni,” he’d said, “when you love someone the way you and Callum love each other, that will always endure no matter what. Maybe it’s just not your season, but when and if it comes back around, you need to be prepared to put aside the hurt so you don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.”
Of course, my dad thought Callum would come to his senses pretty quickly after we broke up, but he never did.
It’s been fifteen years and I’m still holding on to some anger. But honestly, given everything Callum’s done for me this past week… he deserves my absolute forgiveness. I don’t know why I was destined to have such a horrible marriage but I’m out now.
My life is starting over and I have Callum to thank for it.
CHAPTER 13
Callum
The executive suite at the Titans’ arena has a handful of conference rooms of varying sizes, but I’m currently meeting in the largest one that overlooks the Allegheny River with the Pittsburgh skyline just beyond. The conference room is halfway between my office and Brienne’s and while we don’t need the twenty-two seats the table accommodates, I do need the electronic SMART Board recessed into the wall.
We’ve got a lot to discuss and my ability to put up digital graphics and then mark on them as we talk is invaluable.
Currently, I’ve got a picture of Coen Highsmith on the screen with his stats from this past year, along with his salary. I pull up another screen with a running spreadsheet of all player salaries and the total so we can steer clear of the cap.
Around the conference table are the people whose advice I will rely on when making my decisions. As the GM, managing the roster is one of my primary responsibilities, which includes evaluating talent, negotiating contracts and extensions, negotiating trades and drafting players, all while staying within the salary cap.
“The Free Agency Frenzy starts in nine days and this right here is going to be a problem for us.” I tap my knuckles on the board, just below Coen’s photo.
I’ve had two conversations with Coen since my call with his agent a week ago, and he’s very interested in going to New York. Tillie hasn’t committed to taking the residency in Manhattan, but he’s pushing her to do it. He wants her to have this chance and he doesn’t want to be away from her.
“He’s going to go,” Brienne says, drumming her fingers on the tabletop. “No matter what New York offers.”
That’s my feeling too and I’m sure everyone at the table agrees. Joining me and Brienne are head coach Cannon West, the three assistant coaches, Gage Heyward, Sam Thatcher and Maurice Dupont, and our goalie coach, Baden Oulett. Normally, our assistant GM, Lane Bakerton, would be here as well but he’s meeting with agents representing draft prospects and will report to me on that later today.
“If we lose Coen, we’ll need someone of equal or higher caliber to replace him,” Cannon says.
“Yes, we will.” I nod and tuck my hands in my pockets. “I’d like to shoot for Penn Navarro.”
Gage whistles low and Maurice’s mouth drops open.
“You’re not afraid to aim for the stars, are you?” Cannon muses.
Penn Navarro is undoubtedly the best player in the league. Like Coen, he plays center and he just entered free agency after his Florida Spartans lost the championship last week. He’s going to be on every team’s radar.
“We have little room in the cap, even after losing Coen’s salary. I’ve got a few ideas to free up some space, but we’re going to have to get creative if we want to make a play for Navarro.” I tap on an icon on the SMART Board and the screen changes to two players on our team, complete with pictures and statistics. “Mason Lavoie and Anders Blom. Two we can cut loose and free up some serious money.”
“You’ll need more than those two,” Maurice says.
“Agreed. I’m looking at offloading Kirill Zucker and Darius Cermak. I’ll need to burn some draft picks, and depending on what Lane reports back with the new prospects, it could happen. The question is… what do we want to do with this team? Do we want to take a solid shot at the championship next year? If so, then getting Navarro would be a huge move. If we want to use this as an opportunity to build, then we take the money that Coen will free up and spend it on younger guys who can hopefully grow into what we need.”
Conversation erupts around the table as we hash out the pros and cons of every single player who has the potential to come to this team or exit. The duration of free agency will run through the first week of August this year, which means I’m going to be neck-deep in negotiations. That’s why I don’t take much time off in the summer.
And while the free agency period doesn’t start officially until July 1 when contracts expire, there will still be discussions and negotiations with players and their agents beforehand. The work starts now in what’s known as the free agency interview period.
My focus should be on the issues being discussed around this table, and yet I find myself continually checking my phone to see if Juniper has texted for any reason. She’s been in Pittsburgh for less than twenty-four hours and I’m worried about her settling in.
I’m glad we landed yesterday afternoon with enough time to get her over to visit her dad. I went in after I grabbed some groceries and spent a few minutes talking to him. Even though Coy has no cognizance of me, I kept up a steady stream of dialogue. I talked about the Pittsburgh Titans since I took this job long after he fell into a vegetative state, telling him everything about my new career as a general manager.
Sitting by his bed, I thought of every little thing I do to run the team and told Coy all about it—I believe that hearing voices speaking to him has to be a good thing. “It’s juggling a lot of balls at the same time. Let’s see… most important I think is roster management. Negotiating and signing players to contracts, facilitating trades, that sort of thing. It requires a deep understanding of our team’s needs and the nuances of the salary cap. That’s a delicate balancing act, making sure we stay competitive while keeping in compliance with the league’s rules on the cap. I work with the scouts and coaches to evaluate and select young talent, then I manage picking players from the draft. I have full authority to hire and fire coaches and other executive staff, but luckily, we have an amazing group of people who work for the organization. I’ve only had to fire one asshole and he deserved it.
“Oh, yeah… I’m the direct liaison with Brienne Norcross, the team’s owner. You wouldn’t know this, but she took over the team after her brother died when the Titans’ plane went down. I keep her apprised of the day-to-day operations and consult with her on major decisions. You’d like her. She’s strong and independent, just like your Juni.” I cut a glance over to said woman and she looked startled. I know she doesn’t think of herself that way because she stayed with Joshua for so long, but I know the real Juniper.
My gaze moved back to her dad, and I continued. “I’m the main interface with the media when it comes to discussing trades, signings, team performance and other matters of public interest.”
When I finally finished and Juniper and I were leaving, she said, “It was surreal hearing you tell my dad about your job.”
I smiled at her in understanding because Juniper would know all about what a general manager does for a hockey team. She’d shared in that dream with me since we began dating, was by my side as I studied sports management in college and waited patiently in the wings as I cut my teeth in other areas of the industry before landing my dream job. Everything she heard me describe to her father, she could’ve probably recited word for word.
“… acquisitions that are at the top of your list, Callum?”
I startle out of the memory, embarrassed that Cannon just asked me a question and I only caught half of it. I ask a clarifying question of my own. “You mean who’s at the top of my list?”
Cannon nods. “Outside of Navarro.”
“I’ve been doing a deep study on North Paquette, Rafferty Abrams and Atlas Karolak.”
Cannon’s eyebrows hike and Gage leans forward and places his arms on the table. “Bold moves if you make them,” Gage says.
“Go big or go home,” I reply.
My phone buzzes on the table and I turn it over to see a text from Juniper.
When I left this morning, I told her to contact me if she needed anything. She assured me she wouldn’t and that she intended to unpack and read a book. I offered to leave her my car as it would be easy for me to Uber to the arena. That way, she could go visit her dad, but she actually said she was a little tired and just wanted to hang out at my house.
I can only see the first two lines of the text. I’m organizing your pantry and do you have a preference if…
The text cuts off and I have no clue what she needs to know. In the grand scheme of things, this is not something that requires my immediate attention and is not nearly as important as the discussions going on around this table regarding the future of the Titans.
Yet I find myself saying, “Do you mind if we take a five-minute break?”
Brienne rises from her chair. “Let’s make it fifteen. I have a phone call I have to make.”
Everybody stands to stretch, but I’m already walking out of the conference room and headed toward my office where I close the door behind me. I don’t even bother reading the rest of Juniper’s text and instead call her.
“Hello?” she answers hesitantly.
“Rearranging my pantry, huh?” I ask, not filtering the teasing tone I’m trying to convey. “Someone must be bored.”
“Let’s just say being jobless does not suit me,” Juniper replies dryly.
Unfortunately, she did have to quit her job as there was no potential for remote work in her position. She hated not being able to give sufficient notice, but her boss was incredibly understanding after Juniper explained the underlying issues. She told the full truth as to what was going on with Joshua and I get the impression she had a close enough relationship with her boss she could share those things.
“I was just curious if you wanted me to arrange things in a certain way. I mean clearly, you have absolutely no organization because you’ve got the pasta sauce right next to the cereal, which is right next to the crackers. None of that stuff goes together.”
I can’t help the deep laugh that rumbles out of me. Fuck if I haven’t missed Juniper’s wit. And how could I forget that she’s an organizational freak? “You put my house in order however you see fit. You can only help matters.”
“I also have no clue what time you’re going to be home, but I found enough ingredients in your freezer and pantry to make a passable meal. I was going to do some shredded chicken tacos, if that’s okay with you?”
I try very hard to ignore the flush of pleasure that sweeps through me at the thought of Juniper cooking a meal in my home for us to share after work.
Wasn’t that the dream I always had where she was concerned? We were going to get married once I got a stable job in the front-office of a professional hockey organization. We would spend our evenings talking over good food and wine. We’d cuddle on the couch, watch TV and then make love all night.
That was the fucking dream and I ruined it.
I banish the sense of loss that produces. I’m not allowed to feel those things because I chose to let it go. “I’ll probably be home around six thirty, if that’s okay with you?”
Juniper manages to pull me the rest of the way out of dreams and aspirations. “I have no say about when you come home, Callum. This is your life and I’m impeding on it. I just wanted to have a warm meal for you to show my gratitude. You tell me the time and I’ll have the food ready. And if you’re running late, it will always reheat.”
So much for romanticizing what tonight might be. “Six thirty,” I affirm. “If I’m running late, I’ll call.”
“I’ll see you then.” She disconnects the call without saying goodbye.
I get she’s holding herself in reserve and I can’t say that I blame her.
I take a minute to bend over my laptop and check emails that have come through while I’ve been in the meeting. I stew over that conversation with Juniper, wondering if I’m ten times the fool for having her in my home. I could’ve easily put her up in an apartment. But that didn’t seem right either because I didn’t want her to be alone. I like having her close to me. I like helping her. I really like helping her father. And I’m so glad to have gotten her out of her horrible marriage.
The question is… am I trying to pick up where I left off? There is no doubt I’ve never loved another the way I did Juniper. Never had a relationship close to what I had with her. Why wouldn’t I want to see if there could be something else?
All reasonable questions but the obvious answer is that I probably don’t deserve it. I’m the one who dumped her and broke her heart. I drove her into a monster’s arms. I’m directly responsible for her life being shitty for the last fifteen years.
If I was any sort of gentleman and truly cared for Juniper, I would untangle our lives as soon as possible and let her get on her way to a new, much better life.
CHAPTER 14
Juniper
Callum lives in a modest home considering he’s the general manager of the Pittsburgh Titans. I’m confident he pulls in a couple million a year in salary, not including incentive bonuses. I know this because I know what a GM does. I would listen every time Callum would talk about his dreams of running a professional hockey team. Nothing he ever said to me was boring. I wasn’t a big hockey fan except to cheer on Callum when he played for our alma mater. The sport became important to me because he loved it with his heart and soul.
When he had the self-awareness to understand he was not good enough to have a career in the pros but could probably pass by in the minors, I admired him so much for pivoting into management. He could quote all kinds of facts about what a GM did, which also included the salary a good one could command, and I always knew that one day he would be at the top of the game. It’s why I didn’t mind sacrificing early in our relationship when he wanted to work hard and prove his worth in the industry.
Maybe you should have waited just a little longer?
That’s always been the question, hasn’t it? Was I stupid in giving him that ultimatum even though I’d waited for two years and it appeared I would continue to wait based on Callum’s unwillingness to let me move with him to Ontario?
It’s a stupid question to even ask. That was fifteen years ago. An old life.
A dead life now that I’ve left Nevada and my husband.
Although Callum’s home is only about a third the size of the Willard estate, there’s plenty to keep me busy. After rearranging his pantry a week ago, I organized every cabinet, drawer and closet in the house. I did it to keep myself occupied, but now I don’t have anything left to do other than clean and cook meals.
Callum surprised me on my third day here in Pittsburgh with a car. The man actually went out and bought me a car. It’s small and basic, but it’s brand new and he bought it for me simply so I wouldn’t be stuck in the house. I tried to argue, tried to refuse it. But he would hear none of it.
“I’ve already signed the paperwork, Juni. Either use it or don’t, but here are the keys.”
He set them on the counter and we didn’t talk about it again. The very next day, I used the car to visit my dad.
When I was with Joshua, and he paid for my dad to be in an excellent care facility, I was not able to see him every day. That’s because I had work demands and when I wasn’t working, I was at Joshua’s beck and call. On a good week, I would visit my dad three or four times.
Now, without a job or an abusive, domineering husband, I’m going to spend as much time with my father as I can. Each day since Callum handed me the keys to that car, I’ve spent a couple hours at Dad’s facility. I now have the freedom to love and dote on my father without worrying about pissing off Joshua, and I’m also meeting some amazing people—not only the care staff but other family members as well.
