Callum, page 16
Callum knew how to make my body sing. With the slightest touch he could elicit incendiary reactions. In my heart of hearts, I know that had nothing to do with any magical talent the man has, but it was because we had such an intense emotional and loving connection.
I never had that with Joshua and our sex was never going to be anywhere near as amazing as it was with Callum.
Oh for fuck’s sake, Juniper. Quit thinking about sex.
Of course, all I can think about is when Callum crashed into my bathroom to save me from the spider, half-naked and looking just as good as he did fifteen years ago. He has a strong, sculpted body filled with smooth muscles and skin that begs to be touched.
I realize I’m somehow standing at my door with my hand on the knob. I don’t even recall walking across the room but all the thoughts of sex with Callum propel me out the door.
“Get a hold of yourself,” I whisper, trying to force myself to chill out. But my girls’ words echo in my head.
You should jump his bones.
Trust your gut.
Maybe I’ll just go down and offer to help cook dinner.
I consider putting on some makeup or at the minimum some lip gloss. Maybe a pair of nice jeans and a blouse versus the sweatpants.
But then I decide against it. The less attractive I try to make myself, the less I’m likely to make a move on the man. I know one thing that has been dinged over the years under Joshua’s abuse is my self-confidence.
I know Callum still loves me—I believed him when he said that—but I don’t think I’m the attractive young girl he once loved.
I hear Callum before I see him as I creep down the stairs. He’s singing an Eagle’s song, the music playing in the background.
“Peaceful Easy Feeling.”
I love this song. Callum and I used to listen to it in the summer with the windows down and we’d sing at the top of our lungs. It epitomized our relationship.
I stand just inside the entrance that separates the living room from the kitchen and watch him at the stove. He has something sizzling in the pan and it smells delicious. He’s wearing the same outfit he had on when he picked me up. A pair of track pants and a well-fitted T-shirt. His thick hair was damp at Brienne’s, indicating he showered at the gym, but it’s now dry and in his casually swept-back style. His beard lends maturity to his overall aura and I felt the tiniest prickle from the hair over his lip when he kissed me at the wedding. I want more of that with a deeper kiss, maybe brushing over my neck or between—
“Hey, you,” Callum says, glancing over his shoulder, a pair of tongs in hand.
I blink away all thoughts of his beard and manage a smile. “Need some help?”
“Got it all under control.” He turns back to the pan and flips what I now see is a pork chop dusted in fragrant seasoning. A pot boils on the back burner.
“What are you making?” I ask as I move to a stool at the island.
“Pork chops, sweet potato mash and sautéed spinach. I know you’re an adventurous eater, so I figured those were safe bets.”
Sounds amazing. It’s a meal I would never have been allowed to make for the Willard men. “That’s gourmet for me these days.”
The words themselves are benign, but it’s my tone that has Callum turning around to face me. His expression is neutral, but I can tell he’s concerned because his attention is so lasered on me. “What does that mean?”
I shake my head and brighten my smile. “Nothing. I don’t want to talk about it.” There’s no hiding that tiny flash of irritation so I’m compelled to add, “It’s not worth talking about. Joshua and Preston were very rigid in what they liked to eat and I had very little room to play around in the kitchen. It was the same thing over and over again.”
It should be enough to send Callum’s attention back to the stove, and it briefly does. But only to turn off the burners and place the tongs on the counter.
When he turns back, he comes to stand opposite me at the island, leaning his elbows on it. I expect him to poke and prod, wanting to understand more about my life away from his. I expect him to then want to give me reassurances and reiterate his love and that I’m safe.
Instead, he asks me a singular question that, despite its simplicity, will allow for an answer that could change the course of my life.
“If you could ask for one thing, knowing the answer would be yes, what would you ask for, Juni?”
My mind spins with the potential because I know whatever I say, Callum will do his best to give it to me.
There are things I could wish for that are beyond his control.
Rewind the clock to the day we broke up so I could change things.
Erase the memories of the past fifteen years.
Make Joshua and Preston go away so we never have to deal with them again.
All valid. Callum would be pleased with any of those wishes.
Rather, I decide to ask for something I know he can give. My gaze drops to his mouth and the beautiful, soft beard framing those full lips.
I lift my eyes to meet his. “Will you kiss me?”
CHAPTER 21
Callum
Emotion explodes within me, reminiscent of the fireworks last week. Tenderness, passion, relief.
Love.
Always fucking love with this woman.
“Do you want just a kiss?” I ask.
Juniper’s gaze never wavers. “We both know it won’t stop there.”
I prowl around the island and she swivels on her stool to face me. I take one of her hands in mine. “Not what I asked. Will you want more? Because if you don’t, I will stop it at just a kiss.”
She swallows hard and whispers, “I want more.”
That should elate me because God knows I’ve fantasized about her for years. No one has ever compared to her in or out of bed. But there’s no stopping my frown of concern. “You’re buzzed.”
“So what?” she throws back. “Do you think I’m so impaired I don’t know what I’m doing?”
No, I don’t think that. She was tipsy when I picked her up from Brienne’s and her inhibitions are probably low, but she’s clear-headed enough. “I don’t want you to have regrets.”
She sighs dramatically. “I’m tired of regrets. You’ve had them, I’ve had them. We let them go, right?”
I release her hand, only to place both my palms on her beautiful face. “Juni… I love you. But I’m going to do things right. You telling me you want more than a kiss is weakening my resolve.”
“That sounds like a you problem and not a me problem,” she quips.
I can’t help but laugh and because she’s immobile from my grasp, I at least fulfill her request for a kiss. My lips press against hers, forcing her mouth open, and she sighs into me.
My head angles, tongue swiping slowly against hers. Lust barrels through me at the first truly intimate touch we’ve shared in years. I’m resolved to pull away but Juniper groans as her tongue tangles with mine. It’s a sound of pure need and my body tightens with desire.
“Fuck,” I mutter against her lips. “You’re not going to make this easy.”
“I am trying to make it easy,” she murmurs, turning her cheek to rub against my jaw. “I knew that beard would feel good against my skin, and that was just my lips.”
I know exactly where I’d like to rub my facial hair and it’s not anywhere on her face. The thought of it spurs me into motion and I do a quick mental check. I did turn off the stove, right?
Fuck it, the house can burn for all I care.
I swoop Juniper up with my hands under her ass, lifting her from the stool to carry her to my room. Her acceptance is immediate with her arms wrapping around my neck, legs around my waist, her head tilting so she can kiss my neck.
Christ, that feels good and it’s not just her lips grazing the sensitive skin below my beard line, but the fact that it’s Juniper Ryan, my first, only, one true love initiating touch with me.
In my room, I deposit her on the bed and move over the top of her with one knee on the mattress and one foot still solidly on the ground. I need that—she makes me dizzy with desire.
Juniper stares up at me, a trusting smile playing on her full lips. The animal in me wants to shred her clothes to pieces because I want her far too badly. I want her naked and I want inside her, right now.
But although we’ve been intimate with each other more times than we could count in the past, this feels all too shiny and new. I don’t want to rush any part of it.
Bringing my other knee up, I press my palms onto the mattress beside her head. My gaze roves over the angles and soft curves of her face, taking care not to get too lost in the allure of her eyes. I know the more turned on she is, the more the gold will leach out and the darker they’ll become. I used to love to study the changes as I touched her.
My eyes pin on those lips which have slid over nearly every inch of my body. Bending down, I graze my mouth over hers ever so gently, but even that small touch is electric. A welling of need produces a rumble in my chest.
I deepen the kiss, giving her my tongue again, and Juniper’s hands press against my chest. Not to push me away, but to lay over my breastbone where my heart booms. Her head lifts, her tongue invading my mouth with urgency. A tiny purr flutters out of her and it makes my dick ache.
Just a kiss.
A fucking great kiss and I’m ready to bury myself deep.
Juniper’s hands move down my chest, dip under the hem of my T-shirt, then slide back up. Her soft fingers travel across my abdomen before bunching into the material. She makes a yearning sound, trying to pull it past my shoulders.
I’m all for giving her what she wants so I go to my knees, lifting away from her. I pull the shirt over my head and toss it to the floor.
My skin turns hot from the way her eyes eagerly move over my body, taking in the differences from fifteen years ago. I hope there aren’t many since I work my ass off to stay in shape. Her gaze drifts south, coming to rest where my erection strains against the loose material of my track pants. Her staring at it only makes me harder.
Juniper’s hands move to the waistband and my lungs clog up as my body locks tight. Dipping her fingertips into the stretchy band, she pulls it down only a few inches to reveal the head of my cock. I am fucking dizzy when she grazes a thumb over the tip, gathering the wetness seeping out.
And all my fucking dirty fantasies of Juniper and that mouth come full circle when she rubs the slick over her bottom lip.
“Jesus Christ, Juni,” I grumble, knowing that I need to get control over her.
She tries to reach for the waistband of my pants again, but I move lightning-fast, pulling her up and off the bed. When her feet are on the floor I work efficiently, pulling her T-shirt over her head. She’s not wearing a bra, something I was very much aware of when she walked into the kitchen, and I don’t even hesitate to look my fill. My body bends, my head goes to her breasts and I latch onto a nipple with a gentle, laving tongue.
“Callum,” she groans, her hands clamping onto my head to hold me there.
“Fuck I missed your tits,” I proclaim, moving to the other breast. They’re not the biggest but they’re perfect to me.
I barely get my lips on her nipple when her fingers tug at my hair. “Touch me with your hands, Callum. Everywhere.”
I straighten and move my hands to her breasts. I squeeze them gently as I bend in to kiss her again. Open-mouthed, our tongues immediately duel, but only for a few seconds.
More important things to do.
My hands go to Juniper’s sweatpants and I drag them down, panties going along for the ride. Her hands rest on my shoulders for balance as she pulls her feet free. How many times over our lives have I stripped her just like this?
I glance up at her and she giggles, perhaps still bubbly from the champagne. “You always managed to make short work of our clothes.”
“I’ve always been impatient to get to your goods,” I reply with a grin.
I straighten, manage to discard my pants and then we tumble onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. Our hands immediately seek out bare skin and our mouths fuse again in a scorching hot kiss that robs me of oxygen.
The kisses turn savage, my teeth snagging onto her bottom lip in a stinging pinch before I lick it better. Her fingernails score into my chest, the sharp bite reminding me that sometimes things got so intense that we’d take pieces of each other.
Our naked bodies press together, legs entwined as her hands move to my shoulders. My skin is so sensitive I can feel her nipples against my chest and my cock is thick and hot against her belly. What I wouldn’t give right now to just slam into her, but we’ve barely even begun and as much as I want to chase that orgasm, I want to experience everything we used to have together in the ways of foreplay.
Space is what I need so I end the kiss as I roll Juniper to her back. Her legs part and I settle between them, but I keep still. Her gaze, fevered and intense, meets mine. She digs a tooth into her bottom lip and a million memories of her sucking my cock flood my mind. If she went down on me now, I’d never survive it.
I place a gentle kiss on her mouth before sliding down her body. I run my lips along the center of her chest, then her belly, taking note of the way the muscles leap and quiver. I glance up, see that I’m losing her to bliss—fucking perfect—with her eyes shut and mouth parted.
I consider giving more love to her nipples, but it’s not where I want to be. My entire body hungers to bring her a different sort of pleasure.
Pushing her legs further apart, I slide the rest of the way down her body and bring my mouth to her pussy. Juni’s hips lift and her fingers slide gently into my hair. I look up her body as I roll my tongue around her clit. Those beautiful eyes are locked on me, fingertips pressing into my temples as her pelvis rotates.
Tiny little moans spur me on and I press a long finger inside her. Juniper jerks at my hair. “Too much,” she gasps.
Chuckling, I nuzzle my cheek against the inside of her thigh. “Never too much.”
Slow circles of my tongue against that sensitive bud, another finger to her pussy. I work slowly and build my girl up until she’s a writhing, moaning, begging mess. “Please, Callum.”
Lifting my head, I look up to see her head thrashing back and forth. “Please what?”
“Finish me off,” she demands, glaring down at me.
My mouth lifts at the corner and I incline my head. “As my Titan Queen desires.”
Juni snickers and then groans as I bring my mouth back to her center. It may have been years and years since I’ve done this to her, but I haven’t forgotten a single nuance of how her body works. I know exactly how much pressure, where to touch and how fast to go. It takes mere seconds of intense focus on her and she’s exploding with pleasure.
Often when going down on her, I’d help prolong her orgasm with some continued tongue action but fuck, I want to be inside her now. I surge up her body, drawing one of her legs around my hips, but I’m caught up short when Juniper yells, “No!”
Her hands are on my chest but I don’t need that pressure to stop my actions. The minute she said no, I froze.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, seeing the haze of pleasure and release gone from her eyes, replaced by something that flips my stomach.
Juniper shakes her head. “I… um…”
I wait patiently, but her mouth clamps shut. I lower her leg, bring a palm to her cheek. “Juni… what is it?”
“We… um… we have to use a condom.”
My entire body sags in relief. I had thought the worst… that maybe there had been some sort of abuse by Joshua that would make sex difficult for her. “Okay… that’s fine. I’ve got some.”
The spell is broken though and Juniper scrambles out from under me, scooting up to the top of the bed and drawing her knees to her chest. She peers over them at me, long dark hair falling around her shoulders.
I lower onto my stomach then roll to my side. My head is near her hips and I trace a finger down her leg. “Because of Joshua?” I ask.
She nods, red staining her cheeks. “He was unfaithful, and well… I really need to get tested, I guess.”
“It’s fine, Juniper,” I reassure her. “You can get tested, but we can use condoms. Honestly, it’s the smart thing to do. I should have grabbed one anyway, just to reassure you because you don’t know my past—”
“—and I don’t want to know it,” she inserts. “I mean… I’m good without knowing about your past partners.”
“I’ve always been safe,” I tell her. “Always. But I’ll get tested too, okay?”
“I feel like an idiot,” she says softly, wrapping her arms tighter around her shins. “I made things weird.”
“Hey.” I stroke my palm along her calf. “Don’t do that to yourself. You’ve done nothing wrong and nothing is weird. This is all normal stuff.”
“No, I know,” she says with a frustrated sigh. “It’s just… I broke the magic we had going on with my insecurities.”
“Oh, I’ll get the magic back,” I promise with a lewd smile. “That won’t take any time at all.”
Juniper’s lips twitch and a sparkle of amusement tells me I’m already getting her back. She takes my hand, laces our fingers together and stares at it briefly before her eyes come to mine. “You’ve always made me feel safe.”
“Not always,” I admit ruefully, studying our hands. “But I won’t fail you again.”
“No, I don’t think you will. You’ve rescued me. Gave me a new life. Saved my father.”
I don’t know if Juniper will ever tell me she loves me again. I don’t know what it will take for her to get there, but I can feel the emotion in her words. The way her fingers flex against mine as if to punctuate the sentiment.
I release her for a second. “Be right back.”
I head straight for my bathroom where I have a box of condoms under the sink. Admittedly, it’s been awhile since I’ve needed one. Life’s been busy. While I do date (and yes, fuck when the connection is there), I know as I grab a foiled packet that going forward, all of these will be for only one woman.
