Chasmfall (The Weirkey Chronicles Book 4), page 20
With that, they left her soulhome and set to work. Theo wished that he could float within his own soulhome as he did in others, but within himself his spiritual body existed in a deeply concrete sense. Currently, all he had to move between floors were the ladders set in his heart column. Briefly he considered setting up something more permanent, to make his soulcrafting easier, but he was almost completely certain that once he'd ascended enough, he would be able to set up gravity transportation within his soulhome. That would be just a little more efficiency, so he could deal for the time being.
As for ascension itself, there was no question in his mind that he eventually could, the true concern was if it would cost him anything. The early Archcrafter ascension hadn't bothered him, but now he found himself thinking back to Nauda's question from before the Chasm. It would have been better to find more potent low tier materials to fill his early floors, particularly the enhancement chambers.
Still, he could admit to himself that the core of his work was complete. He had two floors of solid architecture as well as a finished barrier wall. The singularity at his core was better than he had planned, continually absorbing power and keeping up with his growth. All eight of his technique chambers had powerful and appropriate sublime materials within, even if he hadn't fully developed all of those skills. Most likely he could pretend to struggle with ascending to Ruler, giving him time to gather a few more materials to fill the emptier rooms.
That essentially sealed his conclusion: he'd make actual progress toward ascension to keep Tythes happy, but put it off in case another Authority defeated him or the situation otherwise changed. It wouldn't be difficult to find sublime materials in the Chasm, the tricky part might actually be finding materials weak enough that he didn't need to lock them away.
At first he had presumed an interruption was more likely, but no one else appeared above the chasm and the atmospheric disturbances appeared to be increasing. There was no day or night in the Chasm of Lamentations, but eventually Tythes gave a loud yawn and proclaimed, "Night time!" He reached into his soul and pulled out an entire tent before dropping it onto the island.
"Is that...?" Nauda blinked in surprise, which unfortunately got his attention.
"Didn't you know that you can store non-sublime objects in your soul once you reach Ruler?" Tythes asked. "There's no point having extra space in your soul if you can't use it to travel in style."
Nauda frowned, obviously having known that, but didn't argue that she had been on too tight a schedule to fully develop such secondary capacities. Theo might have pushed her to do so, if the Chasm wasn't composed so overwhelmingly of sublime materials they could absorb and extract later. They only needed to carry food, water, and a few other supplies.
They had only taken one tent, currently rolled up in Fiyu's pack. Previously, they had used it individually, and Theo wasn't entirely sure if Tythes changed that equation. As she set up the tent, Fiyu continually looked in his direction, saying nothing while her posture screamed discomfort. Eventually Theo left his soulhome to go speak with her.
"You're uncomfortable?" he asked. Fiyu immediately nodded.
"Perhaps Tythes needs us alive, but I do not believe he can be trusted. I know that the tent provides no protection against him, but..."
"After traveling together for so long," Nauda said, "do we really mind sharing? One person can keep watch and the other two can each take half."
Fiyu hesitated, then smiled at both of them. An odd smile, but not forced. "You are both trusted companions. I would be more comfortable if we rested in this way."
Theo had been anticipating some awkwardness, but that plan worked out better than he expected. He and Nauda were entirely business-like about it, while Fiyu appeared a little apprehensive but went to sleep once she'd thoroughly wrapped herself in her sheets. It wasn't uncomfortable physically or socially, and that was all that mattered to him. Nothing to distract them from their soulcrafting.
On the fourth day, the darkness in the sky showed no signs of abating. Tythes said that there was a major clash between Strongholds further north, though he seemed entirely distracted. Other than hectoring them to work harder, all he did was pull random objects out of his soulhome and toss them into the water, chuckling to himself as they dissolved or disappeared into the waves.
Regardless of his demands, all three of them worked as hard as they could. It wasn't much compared to Authorities, but it was the only thing they could do to take any control over their situation. Nauda made excellent progress on her chambers, Fiyu was well on her way to completing her vestibule, and Theo spent most of his time carving the walls of the rooms he'd left incomplete. Simple carvings didn't have the greatest impact on his strength, but he wanted them finished so that they would be continually reinforced by all future ascensions.
They did have an interruption on the fifth day, but it ended swiftly and brutally. A group of Asplundat Rulers tried to sneak into the chasm and attack them, to be killed by Tythes almost immediately. He began trying to use their bodies as boats, shouting at the corpses to try harder when they kept dissolving into the water. Theo decided not to ask him any questions that day and just kept his distance.
By the sixth, he decided to risk asking Tythes to help them acquire sublime materials. Though he complained the entire time, he actually didn't put up much opposition, carrying them individually to different parts of the chasm to search. In the process they discovered a few sublime materials he hadn't counted on finding, giving them a slight additional edge.
On the seventh day, Tythes abruptly demanded that they give up on the door and try tunneling under the back side of the building. When the rock proved nearly immune to cantae and they only dug a few feet down, he abandoned the idea just as abruptly and then pouted all through the eighth day.
With help from an Authority and everyone else deadlocked before the end, Theo was starting to think that their situation was actually to their advantage. So, of course, on the ninth day life had to get in his way yet again.
Chapter 21
Though Fiyu was too well-trained to allow anything short of an emergency to hinder her soulcrafting, no spirit was capable of constant focus. She found herself attempting to spend every waking hour in her soulhome, hiding from her thoughts within discipline.
She had essentially completed work on her temporary vestibule and only made slight alterations to its efficacy in order to appease Warden Tythes. Though she disliked the modification to Relative Guchiro's blueprint, its function was intriguing. Perhaps, under better conditions and his guidance, she might adapt a permanent feature along similar lines in the future.
That complete, she had been able to spend the majority of her soulcrafting time on work that she had uncomfortably skipped while preparing for the Chasm. The most fruitful was improving her gatehouse, which made her Soulsilver Bracers feel more comfortable on her wrists by the day. Once she had even left with Warden Tythes and located some silvery stone in the ruins, which matched the bracers enough to strengthen the gatehouse.
Less successful had been her attempts to tap some of the cantae within the mistheart. The sublime material was extremely powerful, and perhaps even appropriate for her blueprint, yet as an Archcrafter her soul struggled to contain it. She had attempted to build an enclosure with a single opening, but it only emitted a stream of pressurized cantae and risked damage to her soulhome.
Whenever she was exhausted, or particularly needed to escape other thoughts, she focused on polishing the interior of her barrier wall. Though she had refined the exterior to a dark sheen, in order to improve her stealth technique, the interior remained rather rough. It troubled her whenever she saw it, and in turn she believed that it slightly inhibited the flow of her cantae as it left her soulhome. Still, she was pleased that she had been able to escape the gaze of an Authority, even if it couldn't help them with Warden Tythes.
Recognizing that she could do no more work effectively, Fiyu left her soulhome and looked over the island. It had become quite familiar over the past days, so there were few places for her eyes to rest. She settled on the door, still impenetrable. Warden Tythes forced them to attempt it again daily, and they had recently made their way past two thirds of the lock, but it would likely require Friend Theo's ascension to open.
That thought drew her eyes back to the tent, and everything else.
Desperately she looked aside, searching for Warden Tythes as the greatest threat. He had pulled what she first feared was a spear from his chest, but it had been a harmless sublime metal. At the moment he appeared to be attacking the ground, which was slightly disturbing. The stone resisted, as it had almost all other attempts, but Warden Tythes eventually managed to stab the metal pole in deep, which was quite impressive.
Then he revealed a second pole, jammed it in a short distance away, and hung a hammock between the two. He lay down it it and sighed dramatically, only to grow uncomfortable a moment later and get back out to reposition the poles to suit his liking.
Unfortunately, his strange behavior couldn't hold her attention forever. Eventually Fiyu had no choice but to look back to the tent and her companions. Once more, the strange emotions swelled from deep within her.
Neither of them appeared to be troubled by their circumstances, not realizing how she felt to be alone in the tent with a valued companion and a trusted ally standing guard outside. Of course Friend Nauda was unaffected, since Tatians practically slept in piles. Friend Theo appeared completely oblivious, almost as asexual as an Ichili except without any discomfort with proximity or touch.
At first, Fiyu had attempted to ignore the feelings, since their environment remained dangerous. Yet the emotions were so strange... she felt such deep friendship with both of them, and a deep desire for something else, yet she was uncertain who to approach. Her relatives had told her that it was distantly possible that she would feel more than one potential connection at once, which generally led to heartbreak, but it was improbable in Ichili society.
The terrifying thing was that she didn't know how either of them felt, her senses completely incapable of determining their deeper emotions. From their musculature she was certain that both Friend Theo and Friend Nauda cared for and trusted her, but those were emotions that would be appropriate for a relative and did not require being lifemates. It was possible that they both intended to remain alone, or join with someone from their own world.
Among Ichili, the next step would be to discuss the matter calmly. There could be deep sadness when desires did not align, but none of the insanity she had seen in other worlds. Fiyu realized that she was fidgeting in her seat, unable to decide. She was unsure how to approach either of them, and even more unsure which one she wanted to approach.
In the end, she decided that Friend Theo had always been the most understanding. She could inquire about lifemate customs with him and he would inform her if she was committing errors. The idea of him reciprocating her feelings sent a tingle through her, but Fiyu suppressed the feeling until that night, when Warden Tythes had gone to sleep and Friend Nauda was on watch outside.
"Theo..." She waited until he looked at her, deeply shadowed by the tent, and forced herself to continue. "I would like to speak with you regarding lifemate customs between worlds."
All the muscles through his back and neck immediately tensed, showing such intense discomfort that Fiyu nearly fled. But she was held captive by the tent, and when he turned to her the muscles of his smile were stiff but not angry, so she forced herself to remain. "Can you be more specific? I know Ichili customs, but I... don't know what you're asking."
"Ordinarily, I would not experience these desires until I was older. My journey with the two of you may have forced me to develop more quickly." She suspected that it had been triggered by the wholly benign touch when they had saved her life, but felt that it would be unwise to state that for reasons she couldn't identify to herself. Fiyu realized that she had not truly answered his question and pushed on. "Regrettably, my relative is not here to guide me. I know that these matters are very different in other cultures and worlds, but I hoped to find clarity."
"I don't think it's easy for anyone, Fiyu. Emotions are a mess no matter who you are."
The way he said her name so gently sent a strange heat through her that Fiyu struggled to ignore. "I believe that it can be less so if you communicate clearly. Is it not appropriate to approach others to ask them about those emotions?"
Another smile, but the muscles around his eyes struck her as sad. "That's usually how it works, but you haven't really asked yet."
"I... I care for you very much, Theo. I would like for us to travel together, and perhaps one day we will be relatives. But I do not know if it would also be possible for us to be lifemates. Do you... how do you feel?" Those hadn't been quite the words she'd intended to say, but they had spilled out of her and they couldn't be taken back. Unknown Theo took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"Fiyu... I want to keep traveling with you, and I'm glad I met you. But no, I don't think we should be lifemates."
"Why?" She sensed no anger in his posture, yet she still felt a growing pain of rejection that she struggled to contain. "Please explain."
"I was married once, back on Earth. That's our legal institution for 'lifemates', if it didn't translate well. But it didn't work out, and..." Unknown Theo paused and sat back, staring up through the tent, muscles in his shoulders tense as they usually were when he talked about his home world. "Her name was Mary. I didn't expect to have any relationships there, because I was so focused on getting back to the Nine Worlds, but she... got my attention. And we were happy together, for a few years, but... well, I think you can guess."
"I am not sure that I can. You believe you were at fault?"
"I actually told her about the Nine Worlds, indirectly. I don't think she fully believed me, but it says something about the kind of person she was that she didn't mock me. But in the end... I was more obsessed than I thought, or maybe it's that the obsession took over too much of my life. So the relationship became increasingly bitter and we separated."
Frowning as she tried to accept that concept, Fiyu pressed on. "But if you cared for one another, how could you harm one another?"
"Funny question, actually. I've thought about that myself." He was silent for a long time, muscles in his jaw working. "I think that we just gradually fell into unhealthy patterns. Small annoyances became arguments. We started digging into positions instead of reconciling. Eventually we decided we'd be happier apart, and... well, I think she was. We talked a few times after and it was honestly easier to get along when we didn't live together."
The ideas that Unknown Theo expressed were deeply troubling, and Fiyu did not want to place Ichili expectations on what was clearly a strange society. Yet he seemed so reasonable... she held all her emotions stable and asked one more time. "And this is the reason for your refusal."
"I'm old, Fiyu, much older than you. I thought I'd know who I was when I returned to the Nine and started a new life, but it's really the same life." Friend Theo extended a hand in her direction, a peaceful greeting gesture. "So I want to remain friends, Fiyu, and I'd be honored if one day you called me relative. But anything else would be unfair to you, because I'm not sure anyone deserves to be stuck with me."
Though she felt a moment of sorrow as a potential future slipped away, Fiyu found that she was smiling. She had been terrified that Friend Theo would respond in a confusing way, but he had been as gentle and understanding as always. Even if his world seemed strange to her, he had explained his reasoning. Some Ichili who lost a lifemate never found another, and she could understand this as similar. Above all, she was pleased that he cared about her enough to display so much consideration.
"You are unfair to yourself, Theo." She reached out and touched his hand, solely as a companion. "I am also very glad that I met you and hope that we can travel together for a long time to come."
When Friend Theo smiled, it moved more authentic muscles in his face, but she also observed a weariness sagging in him. "Then I'm glad we're agreed on that, but this sort of thing is exhausting to me. I'm going to try to sleep."
"That is fine, Theo. Rest well."
As she watched him settle in, Fiyu sat on her side of the tent, still overflowing with emotions. She could not imagine a kinder way for Friend Theo to decline her question, far from all her fears of incomprehensible emotional reasoning. This way, she could prune that potential future from her mind and focus on deepening the relationship they had.
It also immediately simplified the emotions within her... Fiyu crawled from the tent to sit beside Unknown Nauda.
"You just went and asked him, huh?" Unknown Nauda glanced at her, muscles oddly tense.
"Is that not appropriate on Tatian?" Fiyu asked. She found her gaze retreating from Unknown Nauda as all her conflicting feelings began surging in one direction. "I am... uncertain if you have lifemates there. So many things about your world are confusing, like... like sexmerchants and other strange things."
"Of course we have committed relationships. They don't sound quite as serious as the ones on Ichil, but most people want to find one person to love and stick with them."
"Oh. This is good."
"Are relationships on Ichil really that permanent?" As Unknown Nauda smiled, her muscles held both a wry weariness and a slight sadness. "You don't have people who decide they don't belong together, or just end up going in separate directions?"
"I have heard stories of such things, but have no experiences with them. Ordinarily, companions who wish to become lifemates spend several years traveling together before a final decision is made, to make sure that there are no mistakes. How are such things done on Tatian?"
"I'm... not sure you want to know."
"No, please tell me." Fiyu shifted closer to Unknown Nauda, closer than would be customary between companions. "I care for you very much, Nauda. Even though our worlds are so different, I am glad that I fell into Tatian so that I could meet you. Despite those differences... do you think that it would be possible for us to become lifemates?"
