Darling Girls, page 25
‘But she’s not going to die, is she?’ Alicia asked.
The nurse’s expression didn’t change. ‘We will do everything we can for her. But at this point, we can’t rule out the possibility that the overdose may be fatal.’ Now her face softened into something like sympathy. ‘I would suggest you call any close family members as soon as possible.’
52
NORAH
Norah and Alicia slept on the plastic seats in the waiting room. Meera left at some point to feed the dogs, and returned a little while later with blankets and pillows and bottles of water. Now she’d gone for coffees.
‘Ew,’ Norah said to Alicia, wiping her shoulder. ‘You drooled on me.’
‘Nothing your dogs haven’t done to me before,’ Alicia said defensively.
‘But they’re dogs!’ Norah said. She was about to describe all the reasons this was more disgusting, then stopped.
Jessica.
She shot to her feet. ‘Where’s that nurse?’
The nurse had been their lifeline when they’d brought their sister in. Norah appreciated that she hadn’t tried to placate them with false hope, and for this reason trusted her implicitly. The last time they’d spoken to her, she’d told them Jessica was breathing with assistance, but she hadn’t regained consciousness.
Phil had his phone on silent, so they hadn’t been able to reach him until this morning. He was on his way now.
‘Do you think she meant to –’ Norah started, but Alicia cut her off.
‘Absolutely not,’ Alicia said. ‘She would never have done that to us.’
Norah shrugged. ‘Maybe you’re right.’
‘But that’s the problem, isn’t it? She wouldn’t do it to us. She’s always thinking about what other people want, never about what she wants.’
‘Guess who taught her that?’ Norah said.
Alicia looked around for the nurse, but she was nowhere to be seen.
‘Hey,’ Meera said, appearing with a tray of takeaway coffees. ‘I got these from the service station but it should still be better than the stuff they serve here.’
Norah grabbed a coffee, took a sip, then immediately spat it out. It tasted horrible. ‘Thanks, Meera,’ she said. She didn’t want to be impolite.
Alicia took a coffee and kissed Meera on the mouth. Norah wondered if they were dating. She hoped they were. Alicia was different with Meera around. She stood taller. They had the subtle chemistry of people with a deep connection – their movements felt in sync, their words blended artfully.
Norah liked Meera. She’d driven Norah to the hospital, exceeding the speed limit enough to show an appreciation of the gravity of the situation but not so much as to risk more tragedy. She hadn’t offered Norah any baseless assurances. She’d bought coffee (it wasn’t her fault it was disgusting). Norah could handle having her around. She just prayed Alicia wouldn’t fuck it up.
‘Hey, Norah,’ Meera said. ‘Take a look at this.’
She handed Norah her phone, which displayed a news article. Norah scanned the headline.
PRIMARY SCHOOL VICE PRINCIPAL QUITS AFTER PORNOGRAPHY EXTORTION SCANDAL – LEAKED TEXT MESSAGES RELEASED.
Norah looked up. ‘Meera!’
She raised her hand to give the woman a high five, but Meera was unavailable because Alicia was already kissing her. Under the circumstances, Norah let it slide.
‘More to come regarding legal charges,’ Meera added, when she came up for air, ‘but at least he won’t be working around children anymore. He’s still blocked from your phone, isn’t he?’
Norah nodded.
‘Good. Keep it that way, okay?’
Norah nodded again, feeling the tight sensation in her chest loosen for the first time in days.
‘Did you speak to Phil?’ Meera asked Alicia, when they broke apart.
She nodded. ‘He’s on his way.’
‘Great,’ she said. ‘And how’s Jessica?’
‘We were about to go looking for an update.’
‘I’ll go,’ Norah said, already walking in the direction of the nurses’ station. She’d just reached the desk when her phone began to ring. She lifted it to her ear. ‘What?’
The nurse at the desk looked up, startled. Norah shook her head, pointing at the phone and rolling her eyes.
‘Norah?’ the voice said.
‘Obviously.’
‘Uh . . . it’s Detective Hando. I know it’s early, but we’ve just heard from the coroner and wanted to give you an update. We’ve tried to get in touch with your sisters but haven’t been able to reach them.’
‘Alicia’s phone is dead and Jessica overdosed on Valium, so it’s just me.’
She couldn’t quite work out if she was trying to be shocking, or light-hearted or even amusing. Judging by the silence that followed, Hando wasn’t sure either.
‘Norah, I’m so sorry. Is Jessica all right?’
‘I don’t know. I’m at the nurses’ station now trying to get an update.’
She looked at the nurse, who nodded and picked up a phone. She didn’t need further details. It was a small country hospital; there was hardly an abundance of patients who’d overdosed. Norah heard her ask for an update on Jessica Lovat.
Alicia and Meera appeared at Norah’s side.
‘We were hoping you could come into the station,’ Hando said, ‘but under the circumstances . . .’ He trailed off uncertainly.
‘It’s Detective Hando,’ Norah said to Alicia, covering the phone. ‘They’ve heard from the coroner and want us to go in.’
‘We should check with Anna,’ Alicia said.
‘He said it’s important,’ Norah said.
‘I can go with you,’ Meera said. ‘Stand-in legal counsel.’
‘Jessica hasn’t woken up, but she remains stable,’ the nurse at the desk broke in.
‘The station isn’t far,’ Alicia said. ‘We could be back here in five minutes if we need to be.’
‘Fine,’ Norah said. ‘Meera can drive.’
THE OFFICE OF DR WARREN, PSYCHIATRIST
I can’t wait to get to my next session with Dr Warren. The thing about sharing a story like mine is that it doesn’t just stop when you’re not telling it. It continues to play out in my mind continuously. It is a relief to be able to speak it out loud.
Dr Warren seems just as happy to see me. He has moved our seats a little closer together, and there is a box of tissues on the window ledge. I find these small gestures touching.
‘The plan was for me to breastfeed until John said I was allowed to leave,’ I begin. ‘Then I would go to the city and never return. But I didn’t see how I could do that. My daughter’s attention was like heroin. She had fair, wispy hair, blue eyes and a dimpled chin. She slept well and didn’t fuss. My mother was smitten with her too. When John wasn’t home, she and I would spend hours cooing at her. Mum knitted little stuffed animals for her. She even knitted a life-sized doll with blonde hair and blue eyes that looked exactly like Amy, with Amy’s name written across her chest. Amy loved her grandmother, but there was no competition when it came to who she loved most. Me. No one came before me.
‘With Mum visiting the basement so often to see Amy, I started looking forward to the sound of the door opening. But then, about six weeks after Amy was born, the door opened late one night. Usually my mother visited during the day, when John was at work. I shielded my eyes from the light as I watched the stairs for her legs. But they weren’t my mother’s legs descending. They were John’s.’
Satisfyingly, Dr Warren puts a hand to his mouth. It is hard to believe he is an actual psychiatrist. He looks like someone watching a scary movie.
‘John had been drinking,’ I continue. ‘It was always worse when he’d been drinking. The fact that I’d recently given birth didn’t help matters, nor the fact that it had been a while since he’d visited. Somehow, he’d become more depraved. More disgusting. And my pregnancy had provided the perfect justification for what he was doing. Because I was dirty. I was a whore.
‘While I could never say his drunkenness was a good thing, it was probably the reason he forgot to latch the door properly when he left that night. From where I lay downstairs on the mattress, I saw it creak open, allowing a thin strip of light through.
‘I moved quickly, wrapping Amy in a blanket and collecting our things into a sheet, tying the ends in a knot to create a makeshift bag. I crept up the stairs then dashed through the kitchen and let myself out the back door. I didn’t have any particular plan. I could go to Troy’s place, I figured, and hide out in his rumpus room until I worked out what to do next.
‘I was halfway down the porch steps when I heard a soft cough behind me. When I turned, my mother was standing on the porch in her nightie. “Take this,” she said.
‘In the moonlight, I saw she was holding the tin of money John kept hidden in the rice.
‘She pressed it into my hand. “Good luck,” she said, kissing Amy’s head.’
Dr Warren looks a little teary. ‘That was brave of her.’
I snort. ‘It was for Amy, not for me. When it was just me, she wouldn’t even unlock the bloody door to the basement. Then Amy comes along and she risks everything to give us their entire savings?’
Dr Warren’s silence tells me I’ve made my point.
53
ALICIA
They arrived at the police station at the same time as Bianca, Zara and Rhiannon.
‘You got here fast,’ Patel observed as they all entered the foyer together. ‘Why don’t we head into the meeting room?’
‘Hando told me about Jessica,’ Patel said to Alicia as they walked down the corridor. ‘How’s she doing?’
‘No change.’
The room she led them to looked like any other crappy meeting room – ugly blue carpet, shiny pine table, a whiteboard at one end.
‘What happened to Jessica?’ asked a voice behind them.
Alicia whirled around. It was Miss Fairchild.
‘Don’t,’ Alicia said, holding up a hand. ‘Don’t you dare say her name.’
Meera put a hand on her shoulder. ‘Al.’
‘What do you mean?’ Miss Fairchild looked surprised and irritated. She didn’t like not knowing things. ‘Where is she?’
A small part of Alicia wanted the woman to be aware of what she’d done. Another didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing the power she still held over Jessica.
‘Alicia?’ Miss Fairchild prompted.
‘She doesn’t want you to know, you stupid woman,’ Dirk said, appearing behind her.
Miss Fairchild glared at him, incensed. ‘How dare you?’
It was chaotic in the little room, with everyone talking. ‘Which ones are the police officers?’ Meera whispered to Alicia. She hadn’t yet introduced herself as their legal counsel.
‘Dirk,’ Patel said. ‘This is a private –’
‘I just have something to say,’ he said. ‘About Amy.’
Now Dirk had the floor. You could have heard a mouse whisper in the room. Even Meera’s professional mask slipped a little as she gaped at him with interest.
‘I lied,’ Dirk said. ‘I did see her.’
The silence that followed seemed destined to last forever. It was too big, too complex a statement. It rattled in the room. Every time Alicia opened her mouth to say something, the words evaporated into the air.
‘This is a significant admission,’ Patel said finally. ‘Are you prepared to put it in a statement?’
Dirk nodded. He turned the baseball cap he was holding around and around in his hands.
‘You can’t be serious!’ Miss Fairchild exploded. ‘The man is a sex offender. He’s probably the one who put the body under the house!’
‘I’m not a sex offender,’ Dirk said. ‘My only crime is hooking up with a fifteen-year-old when I was eighteen. We were in a bar, so I assumed she was of legal age. Unfortunately, her dad was a barrister and I was found guilty of having intercourse with a minor.’ He exhaled slowly. ‘I moved to the country to get away from all the talk. I’ve always loved horses, so it was the perfect job. I was supposed to stay at least a hundred metres away from kids.’ He spoke directly to Alicia, Norah and Jessica. ‘Your foster mother was annoyed with me after I let you ride the horses and she did some research. The day Amy supposedly disappeared, Miss Fairchild paid me a visit.’
‘She blackmailed you?’ Norah asked.
‘For heaven’s sake,’ Miss Fairchild said. ‘The police are investigating him. Of course he’s going to come up with a story to cover his arse!’
‘She didn’t tell me much,’ Dirk continued, ‘just that there had been a mix-up with the adoption paperwork and it turned out she’d had the little girl illegally for six months. She told me the girl was already on her way to her new family, but if the police had questions just to say I knew nothing. If I did that, she said, she wouldn’t have to tell them I’d been fraternising with the adolescent girls at the farm.’ Dirk put on a very strange woman’s voice for this last part. ‘That was fine by me; I didn’t want to be caught up in anything regarding a little girl, given my record.’
He looked up at them with new clarity, as though his speech had taken him somewhere else. ‘I read about the body being found under Wild Meadows last week. I should have gone to the cops straightaway, but . . . I don’t know. I thought they’d point the finger at me. I’ve been wrestling with it for a week. I came to see you last night to tell you but I was intercepted by you-know-who. Anyway, I wanted to tell the truth, so there it is. I’m sorry.’
‘All right,’ Hando said finally. ‘We appreciate you sharing that, Dirk, and as Detective Patel said, we’d like you to make a formal statement. Detective Tucker will take care of that with you now.’ He nodded at Tucker, who led Dirk from the room.
Alicia’s feelings were piling up too quickly for her to process.
Anger at Dirk for lying.
Gratitude towards him for telling the truth now.
The knowledge that they’d been gaslit their whole lives.
The thrill of finally being able to prove it.
Meera spoke up. ‘My name is Meera Shah,’ she said. ‘I’m acting as legal counsel for Alicia and Norah today.’
Hando and Patel exchanged a glance. ‘Noted.’
‘You brought a lawyer?’ Miss Fairchild said. ‘Sounds like you’re feeling guilty about something.’
‘As I said on the phone,’ Hando said loudly, as several voices rose in protest, ‘we’ve asked you here because the forensic anthropologist has finished examining the remains. As you may or may not be aware, there was a request to pay careful attention to the feet, looking for evidence of a sixth toe, or a deformity that would indicate that there had once been a sixth toe.’
‘And . . .?’ Alicia could barely breathe.
‘They found no evidence of this,’ Hando said. ‘The feet appear to have developed normally.’
Alicia and Norah and Meera looked at one another.
‘I don’t understand,’ Zara piped up. ‘Why would there be a sixth toe?’
‘Amy had six toes on her left foot,’ Norah said, her gaze still on the detective. ‘Are you sure they checked the correct foot?’
‘Who’s Amy?’ Rhiannon said.
‘There’s more,’ Hando said. ‘They also estimated the child to be under the age of one.’
Silence. Norah looked as baffled as Alicia felt.
The only people in the room who didn’t look confused were Hando and Patel. Patel chose this moment to step forward with her piece of the puzzle. ‘Perhaps the most significant finding was that the bones are older than we initially thought,’ she said. ‘The best estimate is fifty years. Certainly longer than twenty-five.’
Alicia had no words. Norah wiped her face with her palm. Everyone in the room looked stunned, with the exception of Zara, who looked quite . . . animated. It was jarring. Alicia was about to ask if she was all right, but Zara got in first.
‘Okay, so I don’t know if this is significant,’ she said, ‘but I have six toes on my left foot.’
THE OFFICE OF DR WARREN, PSYCHIATRIST
‘So you disappeared into the night with the baby and a tin of cash?’ Dr Warren says. ‘How far did you get?’
‘Not even to the end of the driveway,’ I say. ‘Mind you, it was a long driveway. I was almost at the gate when I heard the engine of John’s car roar to life. There was no point in running, nowhere to hide. Within seconds, the headlights illuminated us. I turned to face them, as the car approached.
‘My mother was in the passenger seat. Her eye was swollen. John got out of the car and came at me like a train, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me so hard I dropped my bag and had to clutch Amy to keep from dropping her too.
‘“Where is my money?” he roared. His eyes were glazed with demented fury. Of course it was about the money. It would have hurt his pride to see me get away but ultimately it would have made his life easier. The money was another story.
‘“Give me the tin, you bitch!” he said, pushing me again.
‘I stumbled, then flew at him in a rage, pummelling him with my free hand. “You are disgusting,” I cried. “Preying on vulnerable women and little girls while pretending to be a man of God. How can you live with yourself?”
‘After the shock of the first few punches wore off, he gripped me by the shoulders tightly enough that his nails bit into my skin. Then he held me at arm’s length, preventing any more of my pathetic punches from landing. I hadn’t noticed my mother getting out of the car. When she came to stand by my side, I thought it was a supportive gesture – until she snatched Amy from my arms.
‘“No!” I cried. But she didn’t listen. Her face was determined as she carried Amy back to the car. “Mum, plea–”
‘John slapped me so hard I saw stars, tasted blood.
‘“Mum,” I tried again, weaker now, but the next slap was harder, knocking me to the ground, stealing my breath.
