O'Rrin The Protector, page 8
part #1 of Thoherian Barbarians Series
“Jesus,” she murmured, her hand on her chest.
I frowned, perplexed. “No, it is O’Rrin.”
She let out a surprised snort-sigh, then shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Can I help you?”
“Do you need help?” I glanced over her, but she seemed normal. “What can I assist you with?”
The look she gave me was puzzled. “Right now? I’m walking next to you.”
“Let us go find R’Asha.” Even though I didn’t want to talk to him, I didn’t want to leave Hetta on her own, either. She was small prey for someone with less ethics, someone who I didn’t trust.
Someone like Yrrix.
“Okay,” Hetta said, although there was something humoring in her tone. I ignored it as I dragged her over to Jackie, who was now walking with Dana, both of them next to V’Annor and the sleeping human. They had made some type of travois, complete with a harness V’Annor wore to make her easier to drag behind him. It still looked complicated with his single arm, but I knew better than to offer.
The women did not.
“Can I—” Hetta started.
“No.” V’Annor’s words were close to a snarl, and I bared my teeth at him, irritatingly protective of my soft human.
My soft human. No, she wasn’t mine. I was obviously losing my mind. Letting Hetta know with a grunt that I was leaving, I stopped next to V’Annor, who gave me a suspicious look. “Protect her from Yrrix.” My words were too quiet for Hetta to hear, and I didn’t spare her a backwards glance as I strode off, even though I could feel her eyes on me. So much for staying and spending some time with her.
‘My’ human. The word kept ringing in my ears, the thought settling pleasantly in my chest as it made my stomach sour. Could you want something while at the same time dreading it? It was not a feeling I was familiar with. Searching for a distraction, I went looking for N’Ashtar. Maybe we could talk strategy, now that we were getting closer and closer to Kohta. If we were going to start a rebellion against the Caterri, it would need to be a strategic one.
Except when I reached N’Ashtar, small, shifty Yrrix was by his side, his sharp features dark. It was obvious they were arguing, N’Ashtar clearly irritated and Yrrix passionate about whatever he was saying. I inched closer, wanting to hear without disturbing them.
“The human women are a gift,” Yrrix argued. “It is clear they should be given to the Caterri, and we can keep L’Anna for our tribe. A true N’Akron leader puts his own people above all, does he not?” Yrrix’s mouth curved into a snarl. “Especially weak, fragile, helpless creatures from somewhere else. Wouldn’t they be safer with the Caterri?”
N’Ashtar scowled. “That is not how leadership works.”
“We could give them one,” Yrrix suggested. “We’d keep yours for you, of course.” His smoking gaze landed on Dana, which made N’Ashtar growl deep in his throat. “Don’t worry, I have no wish for your fragile mate.” He laughed. “She wouldn’t last a night in my furs.” Then he looked thoughtful. “Maybe that small, soft one O’Rrin seems so fond of. Of course, I might break her.” His lips curved, like he was pleased by the thought.
A snarl escaped me before I could stop it and I shoved him so hard he sprawled on the ground.
“O’Rrin!” N’Ashtar sounded horrified, and the dignified part of me couldn’t blame him. We were N’Akron; we didn’t brawl like Setti dealing with a dispute. But I also couldn’t listen to him speak like that about Hetta. I may not have been able to have her, but I wasn’t going to let Yrrix anywhere near her, either.
“Hetta will be given to the Caterri over my dead body,” I snarled.
“All of the females are my concern,” N’Ashtar said, his tone the deep firmness of his father. “Not yours.” Then he turned to Yrrix, who had picked himself up and was dusting his scales off while shooting me a smug look. “L’Anna volunteered herself as tribute. These women have not,” he snapped. “The reasons you listed, that they are fragile and helpless, are more reasons we should offer to protect them.”
Yrrix flicked his tongue out in a dismissive gesture, looking down at his claws. “Some type of leader you are,” he said, his tone deliberately casual. “You’d let a N’Akron female sacrifice herself just to save someone you hope will go to your bed—”
This time N’Ashtar snarled. “If you do not wish to be taken down, I would remove yourself from my side.” His words were venomous, but from the smug look on Yrrix’s face, it was exactly what he’d been going for. “Otherwise, I will let O’Rrin finish what he started.”
I let my mouth curve into a feral smile, tongue flicking out to taste the air. I would have liked nothing more at the moment, but from the look Yrrix was giving me, I knew it wouldn’t be coming. No, he was going to turn and run like the youngling he still looked like.
After Yrrix had finally moved far enough away that I felt comfortable not watching him, I turned my attention to my war chief. N’Ashtar’s gaze was distant, his tongue tasting the air thoughtfully as his focus turned to one human in particular. Was he dealing with the same sort of drive for a human that I was? That insane desire to protect, to take care of? To possess? If he was that protective of his human, certainly he would protect Hetta if I asked him to.
Maybe there was a chance she could be mine. After our scouting mission, mayhap. Something about that settled my heart, calming some of the energy racing through me. “We will arrive in Kohta in the next menlin,” I said as I started walking next to him.
N’Ashtar nodded, although it was clear he was somewhat distracted. “Have you decided which tribes to approach?”
“I think I’ll start with those with ties to the Outer Quadrant.” Kohta was divided into multiple rings, and the farther you got from the middle, the poorer and more rundown the city was. Of course, if you entered through the official entrance, you saw nothing of the sort. But the Caterri had long demanded N’Akron sacrifices from our people even before the tithes N’Ashtar’s father had agreed to, and many of them or their descendants ended up living in rundown huts and begging for food. They were never permitted to return to their tribes, to have a chance at a better life.
That was the real purpose of our visit, the tithe aside. Not to immediately free them, because that would be dangerous, but to talk to the other N’Akron, see who was also angry at the Caterri and would be willing to consider talks of rebellion. That was my job, as N’Ashtar’s left hand. He was the war chief of our clan and could not be seen as potentially inciting rebellion. If I was caught, I could claim it was all my idea, that I wanted revenge for the death of my parents. It was simple and believable, something the Caterri would easily fall for.
My long-known bitterness and hatred of them helped. Yet it was still a dangerous job. Any N’Akron loyal to the Caterri, desperately trying to gain footholds in their world and become someone, could turn me in and I would be sentenced to death, no questions or investigation. Yet it was worth it, the risk of death, if it meant I could help my tribe be free.
Hope was starting to blossom in the back of my mind, something I both wanted to encourage and wanted to kill. Maybe, just maybe, if I kept my distance, maintained my focus, and did my job, I could help my tribe and keep Hetta safe. And maybe win her over. After all, once the Caterri were taken care of, the world would surely be safer, would it not?
Maybe there was hope after all.
By the time I shook myself out of my funk, most of us had settled around the fire and were eating travel rations for dinner. N’Ashtar and I exchanged looks. Because of the humans, we were going through them quicker than we had packed for, and if we did not start hunting soon, we would run out of food before we made it close to Kohta.
Absently, I did a quick headcount, stopping when I realized that my Hetta was not there. A frown twisted my lips, and I turned around. There was no way she had gone far, or escaped the camp, so she had to be somewhere.
The sound of a happy little sigh made my groin throb and my heart race. Immediately, I headed in its direction, since there was only one human who could incite my body like that. Hetta was sitting by herself just outside of camp, her knees pulled up to her chest and her slim arms wrapped around them. She was staring up at the sky, at the trio of moons.
Anger flooded me, although whether I was angry at N’Ashtar and the others for not watching her or for myself for noticing her, I wasn’t entirely certain. Instead of immediately going to her side, I went to the fire and snatched some travel rations from the pack. If she had not eaten, she needed to, because we had yet another long day tomorrow and I did not want her to fall behind.
When I made it back, she had not yet moved, instead still sitting and staring at the stars. She let out a long, breathy sound, and my tongue licked the air, tasting her scent. She was delicious, even sweaty and tired. I bit back a snarl at myself, because I could not think like that.
I rumbled low in my throat. “Why are you not at the fire?”
“Oh. Hi, O’Rrin.” The smile she gave me was soft and set my loins ablaze. I fought the urge to turn away and hide them, instead thinking of anything I could to make it stop.
On the rare occasions my cock got unruly, thinking about the Caterri usually made it go away. This time it was more complicated.
“Here.” I handed her the food, sitting next to her in a way I could shield my groin if it decided to embarrass me. I had never taken a mate before, not with so few females, but I knew how it worked, at least among my people. Humans were entirely different.
“Thanks.” Hetta’s widening smile did nothing to discourage my arousal. I grunted and looked away, then followed her gaze to the sky.
“What do you look at?” I asked.
“The stars.” There was a wistfulness in her face, even as she took a bit of the travel bars and popped it in her mouth. “I came from the stars, really. A planet far, far away, called Earth.”
“Urth.” I nodded, having vaguely remembered the other humans mentioning such a thing.
“I knew when I agreed to go on the Twelve, I’d be leaving Earth behind, but I never thought it’d be forever, you know?” She sighed.
I did not know, but I nodded anyway, and the reassurance seemed to comfort her.
“The stars, though, they look just like home.” Her smile was wan now, although it was there. “The constellations are different, but if I lean back and ignore the cold, I can pretend I’m at home as a kid, staring up at the stars and making up stories about the pictures.”
“It is the only similarity?” I couldn’t help but ask.
She looked thoughtful. “Yes. Mostly, at least,” she admitted. “At home, our sky is blue during the day. A large portion of flora is green. Our animals are different, too. Everything about this place is strange to me.” Her gaze went more distant. “Sometimes you just need comfort.”
I ignored the part of me that wanted to offer to comfort her when she needed it. “Why did you leave, then, if it made you so uncomfortable?”
She grimaced. “I mentioned I don’t miss my family as much as I should?”
I nodded, although I still didn’t understand. Here, family was to be treasured. Although I didn’t have one. Maybe that was why I didn’t get it.
She sighed, embarrassment and shame clearly dueling in her face. “I never fit in, growing up. I was always the weird smart kid, and even worse, I was a girl with talents in science.”
“Science?” I mangled the word, but I didn’t recognize it even with the translator.
“Uh. Basically, we experiment to figure things out? A lot of it’s in a lab.” She was stumbling over her words, and it still didn’t entirely make sense, but I didn’t push. She sighed, rubbing a small hand over her forehead. “I forget how different our worlds are.”
A pang of hurt threatened my heart, something that I didn’t approve of. I didn’t want to think about how different our worlds were, how much she would never stay here and be mine. Not that I was supposed to be thinking about that in the first place. It seemed like every time we conversed, it was just yet another reminder of our differences.
“Back home, my family was diplomats, ambassadors. Basically, we went to various places and met people, created bonds between them and us. I never wanted to do that, but it was always expected of me.” Her words were sad.
“You do not seem to like people,” I offered.
She let out a surprised laugh. “I don’t mind some,” she corrected, her sidelong glance making me feel like I was one of them. “But so many want me to be someone who I’m not, and it’s much easier to stay with plants. They never want me to change.”
I hummed as I mused over what she’d said. “There is a lot of pressure on warriors, too,” I said slowly. I glanced over my shoulder at N’Ashtar, who was arguing with Dana. At least this time they were quiet enough I could not hear them. “We are to be strong and fierce, unyielding, yet we must bend to the Caterri.”
“Because they hold all the power.” She grimaced. “Have you tried—”
“To change things?” I interrupted. “Yes, but it is not as simple. There are many N’Akron tribes, and we do not all get along. Some try to gain favors from the Caterri and are willing to sacrifice other people. We must be careful who we approach and who we talk to.”
Her eyes went wide. “People do that?”
I decided to leave out the true purpose of our trip, the danger I was putting myself in, because I had a feeling she wouldn’t approve of that, either. “What would you do, if your parents did not try to change you?”
Her soft-looking pink lips curved into a smile. “What I’m doing now,” she admitted. “Or was doing, rather.” She frowned now. “I like studying plants, I like learning about them.” Her eyes went distant. “I would love to have my own garden.”
While I didn’t understand the word, my translator gave me a picture of a piece of land covered in plants. They were in rows, organized and clearly planned. We had nothing like that on our planet, but if I could give it to her, somehow, I would.
If she stayed.
“What about you?” Hetta asked, interrupting my thoughts. “What would you be?”
I stayed quiet for too long, my mind tempting me with many thoughts. “I would be a hunter and a father, once our world was at peace,” I said finally. “I have always wanted little ones, but such a thing was never possible for someone like me.”
The look Hetta gave me was clearly baffled. “Someone like you?” she said, incredulous. “Someone hot, protective, and strong?”
My scales at the base of my ridges darkened, her words sending heat and shyness thrumming through my body. “There are few females,” I said finally. “There are far better bloodlines to continue, no matter my desire for younglings.”
Her face turned into her scowl, clearly outraged on my behalf. It made my middle warm. “That’s bullshit,” she muttered.
“Bull’hit?” I tried, not sure what that was. “What is this bull’hit?”
Hetta flushed again, like she usually did. “It means it’s not fair, that it sucks.”
“It is life,” I said simply, because it was true. I turned my attention back to the stars, because I could not change the past. Hetta grumbled to herself for a moment longer before moving closer, leaning to put her head on my upper arm.
“Your shoulder is so far up there,” she murmured, then giggled.
I blinked down at her, not certain if that was a criticism or a compliment. Then she let out a sigh. “You’re so warm. Will you sleep against me tonight?” Her face pinked. “For heat.”
I nodded, not sure I trusted my voice to stay steady. Then she let out a contented noise, her eyes closing as she leaned against me. I fought the urge to reach out, to wrap an arm around her shoulders. I wanted to hold her, just a little. Yet I couldn’t.
My mind took it as an excuse to wander. She lived as who she wanted to be, regardless of the consequences, although it seemed to take something of a toll on her. I followed my tribe’s needs, as we all did here. Maybe it was time to try some of her methods, to mayhap think of the future past when we had dismantled the Caterri and were safe again.
Maybe someday, between us, we could both have what we wanted.
9
Hetta
I could feel O’Rrin’s eyes on me, even from where he was walking in the back with N’Ashtar. After last night, the intimacy under the stars and then in the sleep sack, I had fled our sleeping arrangements the moment I woke up and sought solace in Dana and Jackie, helping ensure Erica was fed her gels to stay hydrated. We’d been traveling for almost a week and it just seemed to be getting colder, which meant we would keep sleeping with our N’Akron partner. I was hella nervous and had tried to hide, but in a small group like ours, it hadn’t been long before I saw him.
Even once we started walking, I stayed at Dana’s and Jackie’s sides, the quiet V’Annor not far away. I missed walking with O’Rrin, both the quiet and the conversation. Even though a lot of it was one-sided, he was a good listener, asking questions here and there to show that he’d been paying attention. He also didn’t make me feel like the fumbling, awkward human I was. He didn’t treat me differently because I was smart, or a botanist, or…
Well, okay, he treated me differently because I was female, but given his tribe’s situation, it was understandable. And he was a hell of a nice specimen of a man. Tall, broad, muscled and scaled and… My fingers ached to touch him, to explore that skin I’d only gotten to feel in quiet nights and platonic touches. I wondered if he would feel the same under my tongue.
“Hetta?” Dana sounded an alarm, but her alarm came too late. Instead, my toes slammed into a hard rock and I went straight down, my bruised body hitting the ground like a sack of potatoes.
“Ouch,” I groaned. For a moment, I just wanted to lie there and bask, because getting back up sounded too much like trouble. But that wasn’t an option, really, so with a resigned sigh, I started pushing myself back up.
