Then again, he hadn’t shown any signs of wanting to be close to me, either. Once I’d started warming up, he’d pulled away like he was on fire. Maybe he’d just been being kind, or just looking after the accident-prone human. Either was more likely than him having any interest in me.

  Dampened by that depressing thought, I turned my attention to the flora that dotted the banks of the river. There was a wide variety, from a wild-spreading, lush, white plant that looked like mint but smelled like pepper, to a so-light-green-it-was-almost-white tuber that looked like it could be edible. There were also plants that looked like medicinal versions back home, like comfrey and yarrow, but the colors were shifted. Some had a violet hue while others leaned toward pink. My nose scrunched as I took sights that were as different as they were familiar. Hope rose in me that no matter how long we were here, I could do something to help O’Rrin’s tribe as thanks for their assistance.

  I’d almost finished cataloguing the different plants when a smaller one caught my attention, bright blue against stark pink leaves. My heart skipped a beat. It looked almost like foxgloves, with its bell shape and open end. It even had the stamen peeping out, the part of a foxglove that was toxic on Earth. They were a vital component of a heart medication, but dangerous otherwise. Mostly, though, it was the color that snagged my attention. In a strange world with a yellowed sky and plants that leaned toward pale and dun colors...the blue was incredible. So rich and pleasing.

  Just as my fingers were about to touch it, a scaled hand shot out of nowhere, grabbing my wrist and stopping me. I made a noise of protest, but really, I was far more interested in how small my arm looked against his hand. His fingers overlapped, and I felt dainty and delicate, even dressed in more layers because of the chill.

  “Do not touch it,” he warned, not releasing my hand. “The pollen on the outside of the flower is poisonous.”

  My eyes widened. That was different. Then the adrenaline started to ease out of my system, leaving me feeling clumsy and stupid. I should have recognized it, should have remembered the dart frogs that existed in the rainforests of my home planet. Bright colors in a dull environment screamed danger and were not to be touched. Sure, some things were different here, but not everything.

  Before I realized it, my lips were trembling, tears threatening at the corner of my eyes. His hand was still around my wrist, the touch warm. I couldn’t help but lean into it, my world threatening to come apart underneath me. It wasn’t just his warmth, but the contact, his stoic nature and size making me feel safe around him even when the rest of the world was anything but. The weight of our situation was finally hitting me like a freight truck, leaving me flattened and alone in its wake.

  I was stranded on a planet, without much technology, with strangers, one of whom was presumed dead and another of whom was in a coma. Even more depressing, the Twelve was the closest I’d ever come to having a home in my twenty-four years of life. No, it wasn’t my actual home, and I’d only been on it a few weeks before the crash, but it had been the place I felt most comfortable being myself. Now that was gone, too, leaving behind its own mystery.

  “Hetta?” O’Rrin sounded alarmed, although he didn’t let go of my wrist. “What is that water?”

  “What?” My voice wobbled, and I realized I was crying. Oh, fuck. I sank to my knees, letting my body give in to the adrenaline dump it was craving. I’d had enough of these to know that once I sobbed it out, felt everything, I would be able to put myself back together. I had just never had one in front of someone else, or in a place where I couldn’t easily escape to my room and away from the rest of the world.

  No, here I was stuck on a strange planet, in front of a strange man, who seemed genuinely distressed by my tears. Hell, even Jackie or Dana would have been preferable…or would they? I was caught off guard by exactly how much I didn’t want them around, not for this. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust them, but we were friends of convenience, of closeness. It wasn’t the same as whatever weird connection I had with O’Rrin. Yes, we were shoved together by circumstance, but he didn’t mind my company, or talking to me.

  Mostly, anyway. Yes, he’d fled, but I had been touching him rather intimately, even if it was at his direction.

  “Hetta,” O’Rrin said, sounding more desperate. “Do you need a healer? Should we get you back to the others? I could come back for the water—”

  It was sweet, him talking more in the past couple minutes than he had since we’d left camp, and it was all because he was worried about me. “I’m just tired,” I managed, carefully scrubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. While I’d tried to be careful about touching any of the plants, O’Rrin’s catching of the poison flower had reminded me that I really was a stranger here. The last thing I wanted was to poison myself.

  “Tired?” O’Rrin looked skeptical. “Do all humans leak water when tired?”

  My laugh was watery. “Not all of us.” I looked down at the ground, which had more of him on it than I’d anticipated. Even sitting down, he was taller than I was, and he had crouched closer to keep an eye on me, apparently not thrilled with my ‘I’m just tired’ answer. “It’s an adrenaline dump.”

  “Ah-dreen-la-ine?” O’Rrin frowned.

  I couldn’t stop a chuckle that was oddly dry. “Have you ever done something really exciting, then needed time to rest or nap afterwards?”

  Recognition dawned in his eyes, and he nodded. “That is ah-dreen-la-ine?”

  “Basically.” The corner of my lips curved up in a crooked smile, my first since I had woken up on the planet. He was still looking at me skeptically, like nothing I said made sense and he was just going to keep a close eye in case I was going to fall apart.

  It was kind of sweet, even if it was annoying.

  We sat there at something of an impasse, me sitting on the ground as my tears slowly stopped, and him crouched in front of me, staring at me suspiciously like I was about to explode or cry some more. To be fair, he wasn’t entirely wrong. Even as my tears eased up, my breath hitched every so often, but I did feel a lot better. I wasn’t exactly thrilled with my situation, but I didn’t feel as scared as I had.

  Instead, I was determined to prove my use, to show that I could be helpful. The way he looked at me, took over my tasks, kept me safe, reminded me far too much of how people treated me at home. Not just because of my family, but because of my age. I wanted to show that I knew what I was talking about, that I could benefit his tribe, help them survive the trek to Kohta. Except it was worse than it’d been at home, really, because the thought of disappointing O’Rrin made a brick land heavy in my middle, threatening to choke me.

  The tears faded, although their paths were still streaked down my cheeks. Before I could do anything, his thumbs were already gently swiping them away, the intensity in his eyes threatening to take my breath away.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, not sure what else to say.

  He didn’t speak, just stared at me with those intense golden eyes of his. The vertical pupils looked oddly solemn, but there was a heat that made my body tighten, made my nipples hard and my core slick with need. It didn’t look like lust that I was used to, but he was an alien, so it was quite possible that I was misinterpreting it and maybe it was just friendly.

  What was that saying? De Nile was a river in Egypt, and all?

  Then his face shuttered and he stepped back, the concern gone and replaced with his standard stoicism. “Follow me back to camp,” he said firmly. “And don’t touch anything.”

  My cheeks flamed as he waited impatiently for me to stand. Apparently, my tears, my distress, were forgotten. So much for him being understanding. He probably thought I was an idiot, being sad over things or taking the time to cry now, when there were still so many things to do before we went to bed.

  Instead of immediately following him, I grabbed samples of most of the safe flowers, leaves, and stems I’d identified in my searching, wrapping them in the thin fabric of my tunic. Plants, at least, I understood. These ones were bizarre in color, their texture sometimes leaning toward velvet or the plastic feel of a long blade of grass, but the very nature of them made me feel more...at home. Definitely more in control. It kept me from muttering insults in his direction, no matter how much I wanted to.

  By the time he’d gotten ten feet in front of me, he’d already stopped and turned back when he realized I wasn’t next to him. The sigh he let out sent humiliation rushing through me, like he was just emphasizing how much he had to go out of his way to take care of the puny human. Gone was the O’Rrin that had cared, that seemed genuinely interested in who I was. In its place was…well, an ass.

  I tried not to grind my teeth as I followed behind him, my temper flaring every time he glanced over his shoulder as if to make sure I was still there. He acted like I was the worst possible thing to be stuck with, and I regretted going in the first place. Mostly. Hell, sometimes I even regretted going on the Twelve. I’d won the honor legitimately, but between my family’s reputation and my age, several people had made more than one snarky comment about me taking advantage of their connections to secure the job.

  No one knew I tried to talk to my family as little as possible. That they tried to talk about me as little as possible. Neither of us were who we wanted the other to be, and that was just a fact of life.

  “What are those flowers?” I could see camp not far ahead of us, but his words caught me off guard, nonetheless.

  “The ones I’m carrying?” I asked, probably stupidly.

  He nodded, genuine interest on his face.

  “I brought back samples of some of the ones on the riverbank,” I said, my eagerness brightening my words. “See, these two look like some herbs that are known for their healing properties back on Earth, and I want to see if they share any of the same chemical properties, as much as I can assess…” I trailed off as he blinked, clearly lost. My cheeks turned that familiar shade of red, which I had a feeling would happen a lot around him. “Um, sorry. I just want to learn about the different plants and see if any of them can be useful.”

  “This one is used for fevers.” He reached out and touched one of them, his gaze flickering from the plant to me. “There are elder females, back at N’Akkar, who could tell you more about the healing herbs. Others, maybe the women who cook will know. I do not recognize them.”

  My lips twitched, threatening to curl up in both amusement and annoyance. Of course their females cooked and did medical work. It had been almost obvious in N’Ashtar’s attempt to get Dana to fetch a male. “Women can look after themselves, you know,” I said dryly.

  To my surprise, sorrow flashed across his face. “Females are strong,” he agreed, but sadness tinged his words. “But there are so few, and we cannot risk our life-bearers.”

  I stared at him, not sure what to say. “So few?”

  “There are ten women of young-bearing age in our tribe of seventy, and the majority are mated already. There are no female younglings and have not been in some time.” His expression darkened. “Many of us will be alone for a long time. It is just the way things are.”

  I stopped a few feet behind him, not able to look away.

  He turned to me, gifting me something close to a smile. “Our females are not as spirited as you can be, Hetta. Or your loud friend.” He glanced over my shoulder. “Because they are too precious.”

  Following my gaze, I saw Dana arguing with N’Ashtar again. “Will they ever stop?” I grumbled, a bit put out they were interrupting my mini-breakdown.

  “Maybe,” O’Rrin said, but he didn’t sound convinced. When I turned back to look at him, he was looking at me with that intense gaze that made my insides tighten. I wanted to grab him, kiss him, touch him all over. I wanted to find out if that soft-feeling skin was equally soft…everywhere. But I couldn’t. It was beyond inappropriate.

  “Here, I’ll take the water,” I managed, grabbing two of the waterskins. I couldn’t think about him, or the confusion he caused, or the fact that he kept looking at me like I was something to watch in awe. I needed to focus on how I could help my friends, and right now, that meant heating up water so they could take a bath.

  O’Rrin watched me for a long moment, then finally nodded, handing over the waterskins. “Very well.” I stood helplessly, watching him walk away, having to pretend everything was fine, because it was.

  I couldn’t think of it as anything else. Mentally, I shook myself until I was back on topic. Focus, Hetta. Focus. I could think about him after my sponge bath.

  Five days of the same thing later, we were tired, sore, and freezing our butts off, while the N’Akron all looked as fresh as daisies. I was starting to hate their scaly asses. Except for O’Rrin’s, because really, his looked far better in their leathers than it should have. Especially given how cold it was. Layers should have kept things from being form-fitting, but no, that wasn’t the case.

  Everything was finally starting to sink in. That we were really stranded, that there wasn’t an easy way home. Each night we’d slept close together, we four women, trying to share body heat when the weather got cold. It was finally getting to the point where that just wasn’t enough and sleeping while shivering wasn’t sleeping much at all. On top of that, it felt like every day we walked and walked, yet the world never really looked different. There were more ridges, more hills, more snow, yet no signs of a city or civilization.

  At least O’Rrin had been attentive. Each time I’d stumbled, he was right there by my side. At night, he was the one who made sure we had enough blankets, that we would be warm. He helped hunt for our food, cooking it to the point we could eat it. I wasn’t sure what to think about it, not really. His eyes seemed to linger on me, but he spread his attention among all the women, so was he really interested, or was I just one of many?

  A loud snort drew me back into the conversation. Well, argument, because that was how Dana and N’Ashtar spoke to each other. “We don’t have extra supplies,” N’Ashtar said somewhat patiently, his arms crossed over his chest.

  “Can’t we light a fire or something?” Dana argued. She didn’t seem to have any other tone with the N’Akron leader, for whatever reason.

  He looked at her, incredulous. “In the tent? Do you wish to light it on fire?”

  Inwardly, I winced. It was getting cold enough that even huddled together in our tents, our body heat wasn’t enough, whereas the N’Akron slept warm and cozy in their sleep sacks. Not because of the sacks, but because of their body heat.

  A shiver ran through my body at the thought, remembering the brief touches from O’Rrin over the past few days. No matter how quick, or how little skin made contact, his heat was hard to forget.

  Something seemed to dawn on Dana’s face. “They’re not fire resistant, are they?”

  Even O’Rrin looked puzzled at that. “How can cloth resist fire?” N’Ashtar asked.

  Dana sighed and shook her head, irritation making the moves sharp and jerky. Then she muttered something under her breath that I purposefully ignored, because I didn’t think it would be flattering to our rescuers. They may not have had the same technology we were used to, but they were helping us out of the goodness of their hearts.

  Mostly.

  Besides, O’Rrin had been nice, and so had N’Ashtar, no matter how many times Dana argued with him over the same topic. And she did argue. As a diplomat, sometimes it seemed like she didn’t have any other modes. Maybe she’d been a lawyer in her prior life.

  “We’ll each take a human,” N’Ashtar declared, looking not at all put out by the idea. My stomach soured, and I wrapped my arms closer around myself.

  “We’ll be fine,” Jackie tried, just as the wind blew harshly through our camp. The brittle cold seemed to go right through our clothes, leaving me shivering and wanting to curl up into a ball in an attempt to avoid it. The look she gave Dana was defeated. Then she sighed, giving each of the snake-men a pointed look. “No hanky-panky, got it?”

  “No…what?” They all looked at Jackie like she was suddenly speaking French. N’Ashtar looked oddly intimidating with his frown, his ridges more dangerous-looking, and I fought the desire to step back away from him.

  “No touching,” Dana said firmly. “Hands stay off. No groping. No sneaky boob touches. No naughty bits.”

  The looks that the N’Akron gave Dana really weren’t reassuring, but I had a feeling that had a lot more to do with the language barrier than them actually planning to get in our pants. I hoped.

  “Just as friends?” I tried, my voice quiet. “Just friends.” Maybe that would translate right.

  “I’ll take the sleeping one.” V’Annor stepped forward, lifting his chin as if he dared us to protest. “She will be safe with me.”

  Dana looked like she wanted to protest, but I didn’t. I’d been watching how V’Annor had been taking care of Erica during our travel time, and he seemed genuinely tender to her. I didn’t think she would be in any danger from him or the environment.

  “I’ll take the Miss America contestant,” Jackie declared, pointing at R’Asha and his sash. “C‘mon, big boy. Just a warning. I hog the covers.”

  “Hog?” R’Asha looked both puzzled and surprised, his back straightening at the pleasure of being picked even though he didn’t understand most of what she said.

  Then N’Ashtar pointed at Dana, then his own bed, the gesture clear. ‘Mine’, he said without words. Dana scowled, the tension palpable in the air between them as it turned into a stare-off.

  I tried to focus on it, instead of the budding sadness in my heart at being picked last. Again. I’d been the prodigy through most of my schooling, which led to always being the odd one out. No one wanted to be stuck with the socially awkward smart kid, especially since that smart kid was a girl.

  Dana let out a huff, her shoulders tense to demonstrate exactly how unhappy she was. “Fine,” she grumbled, stalking off to his bedding, leaving me standing there. On my own. Like usual.

  The smile on my face probably looked fake, because it was. Then someone’s hand landed on my shoulder. I half-turned, expecting it to be O’Rrin, but the hand wasn’t right. It was slimmer, the man smaller. The short one. Yrrix. “I will take this one to my sack with me.”

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22