Venus Envy, page 32
“The Republican Party has certainly sold out to the right-wing fanatics, the Christian fundamentalists, and the fat cats, haven’t they? They’re quite smug but they are right—AIDS is God’s curse, but not on homosexuals and drug addicts.” Mercury walked a little faster.
“It will be God’s curse on them.” Venus, saddened by any form of intolerance, finished Mercury’s thought for him. “They will suffer for their lack of compassion and that Christian charity they bleat about, for as they turn their faces from the afflicted, so will we turn our faces from them, and the terrible revenge will be when their children die of AIDS years from now. They are so removed from real sexual behavior that they won’t be able to figure out how it happened. I pity them as much as I loathe them.”
“Hideous as they have been to gay people I don’t wish it upon them.” Frazier suddenly recognized that she, indeed, didn’t wish AIDS on anyone.
“Forgiveness is very Christian or very Venus.” Mercury reached out for her hand. “I don’t believe in it myself. Sock me and I sock you. Or better yet, I wait a good long time and create a revenge of sublime elegance.”
“Imagine if Frazier sought revenge against the people who have been unkind to her recently? It would take up so much time—and is Billy Cicero worth it? Or those silly Girl Scout ladies or even Libby, whose entire being is programmed to resist spontaneous pleasure?”
“Humans have short life spans. Maybe revenge does take too long but I like to see my enemies twist in the wind.” The little wings on his sneakers flapped for a second. “What about you, Frazier?”
“I guess I don’t mind seeing them in trouble, as long as my hands are clean. Not only do I not have the time to get even, I lose interest. I get distracted and sometimes by the oddest things. That wonderful Ben Marshall painting of Sir Teddy the horse. When I look at that I forget about what’s going on around me. I love the painting that much. My flashes of hatefulness never last long.”
“Maybe as you get older you won’t have any at all.” Venus smiled.
“As long as people act so silly about my being a lesbian or a bisexual or whatever I am, I think I’ll have my little flashes.”
“Most of those people are ignorant. They aren’t malicious,” Venus counseled.
“Who cares? The effect is the same. That was one of the reasons I was so circumspect about my life. Once people perceive you as gay, that’s all they can see. I’m being robbed of my individuality. I may have been repressed before, I may have been emotionally dishonest, but I was seen as a full human being, not a category. I really hate this shit.”
“I do too,” Mercury agreed. “But worse things have happened to nicer people.” He burst out laughing.
Frazier did too. “That’s true.”
“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all. They won’t like your voice or your accent or your sexuality or the color of your skin. You can’t let them stop you.”
“I don’t—but it still hurts.”
“At least you’re not alone. Your Auntie Ru loves you and your Dad. Carter—he’s working at it, and there’s always Mandy.” Venus smiled broadly, pinkish gold light surrounding her head.
“It’s a paradox.” Frazier noticed the smooth skin on Mercury’s cheek, those sculpted cheekbones she had kissed. The sight of him made her shiver all over again. “No one will speak to your life but you.”
“What do you mean?” He turned his head toward her, her amber eyes brilliant.
“I mean, black folks spend a lot of time trying to explain their reality to white folks, assuming the whites will even listen, women to men, gays to straights. You can plain wear yourself out trying to explain yourself to the so-called dominant group and then you haven’t the time to discuss the environment or arms control or the economy or even the best restaurant in town. But if you don’t do it, no one gets anywhere. I never realized how exhausting this would be, this coming out, if you can stand the phrase.”
“Life.” Venus smiled again.
“What?”
“Life is calling and she’s not rational. Just think, no one has ever lived your life before. It’s brand-new. I would worry far less about people understanding me than I would worry about not joining in Nature’s grand dance.”
“If only we had more time,” Mercury murmured as they approached a door on the road—just a door, no house.
“Frazier, I love you very much.” Venus kissed her. “You must go home now and I will give you my gifts if you’re open to them. I want you to remember something.”
Frazier, devastated that she would be leaving her friends, started to cry. Mercury put his arms around her. “Chin up, girl. Come on, we’ll never really be too far away from you. I’m the god of communication, remember. The secret is: be clear and be simple. You humans make everything so complicated. Just noun, verb, direct object.” He kissed her and she returned the kiss. “Life is calling.” He repeated Venus’s sentence, then handed Frazier to the goddess.
Venus wrapped her arms around Frazier. “Remember, there are no separate solutions. There are only community solutions. You fight for your place in the community. It doesn’t matter that not everyone will accept you for yourself. What makes you think other people get accepted for who they are? Go back and work and reach out to the people who truly love you and reach out to new people. Hold your head up. You’re as good as anybody. And you told the truth as best you know it. That in itself is a miracle. Hear me?”
“Yes.” Frazier bawled.
“There, there.” Venus hugged her tight. “Life is calling.” She opened the door. “Go on.”
Frazier hesitated, then boldly stepped through the open door.
60
FRAZIER OPENED HER EYES. SHE WAS FLAT ON HER BACK ON the gallery floor. Her right hand was in her pocket. She felt the seven-carat diamond.
“My God, you had a terrible shock.” Tears ran down Mandy’s cheeks. “Frazier, Frazier, are you all right?”
Frazier looked into Mandy’s tender eyes, into that kind and beautiful face. Venus had kept her word. “Mandy, life is calling.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
RITA MAE BROWN is the bestselling author of Rubyfruit Jungle, In Her Day, Six of One, Southern Discomfort, Sudden Death, Bingo, High Hearts, Venus Envy, Dolley: A Novel of Dolley Madison in Love and War, Riding Shotgun, Loose Lips, Starting from Scratch: A Different Kind of Writers’ Manual, and an autobiography, Rita Will. She is the coauthor with Sneaky Pie Brown of the Mrs. Murphy mystery series and Sneaky Pie’s Cookbook for Mystery Lovers. Rita Mae Brown is also an Emmy-winning screenwriter and a poet. She lives on a farm near Afton, Virginia.
Venus Envy
A Bantam Book
PUBLISHING HISTORY
Bantam hardcover edition / May 1993
Bantam paperback edition / February 1994
All rights reserved.
Copyright © 1993 by American Artist, Inc.
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 92-39378.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
For information address: Bantam Books.
eISBN: 978-0-307-57416-9
Bantam Books are published by Bantam Books, a division of Random House, Inc. Its trademark, consisting of the words “Bantam Books” and the portrayal of a rooster, is Registered in U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and in other countries. Marca Registrada. Random House, New York, New York.
v3.0
Rita Mae Brown, Venus Envy
