Yo Ho Ho, page 17
When it didn't hurt anymore to think about Logan.
She had to tell him they couldn't pursue anything. She had to let him walk away. If she wanted any kind of reporting job again, she needed to get Logan out of her life. But the idea of that hurt as much as the idea of her newsroom being quiet and dark now. It was the right thing for her to do, but that didn't mean it was easy.
But when Max thought about it, was it really the right thing to do? Sure, she couldn't be a journalist who mixed up her personal and professional life, but did she really want to be a journalist? The industry was going through a tough time, but it wasn't going to get better anytime soon. She knew about her friends who had tried to go to bat for her, maybe get her a spot in another newsroom or working at a blog like Charlie. All of them had struck out.
She was heartbroken about her job, but she was also heartbroken about Logan. Things had changed between them these past few weeks. It wasn't just about that one night a year ago in Denver. It was about so much more. Even after she had walked out of that locker room, he hadn't really said goodbye. Maybe because he knew he would see her again when he dropped off her gift. Maybe because she knew she wanted to see him again. And she did want to see him again, more than anything. She knew he was probably at Jordan's place for the New Year's party. She wondered what he was doing right now or if he was as miserable as she was.
Although she knew the answer to that. She watched him walk out of her apartment. It took all her strength to stop herself from telling him to come back. All she had to do was tell him not to go, and he wouldn't have opened that door. He would've pulled her close and told her they would figure this out together.
Instead, she was at a bar staring at a nearly full beer that she paid for but didn't even want. What she wanted was Logan.
"Hey, I got more chips." Amanda slid into the chair across from her, dropping the basket between them. "How long have you been drinking that beer?"
Max shrugged. "It's warm so I don't know."
Amanda's face crinkled in disgust and she took a chip from the basket. "So this sucks."
"Yep."
"Jobs are gone, my miserable in-laws are showing up early tomorrow for breakfast, and you never even got to kiss Logan Moore."
Max closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She kissed Logan Moore — a lot — and she liked it. She could be kissing him tonight if she wasn't so messed up.
"What was that?"
Max looked up to see Amanda staring at her. "What was what?"
"That look you just had." Her eyes narrowed. "Did you kiss Logan Moore?"
"Shh!" Max's gaze darted around, making sure no one was paying attention to them. "Don't say that so loud."
Amanda leaned in and whispered, "Holy shit, Maxine. Did you kiss him?"
She ran her fingers through her hair and took another deep breath. "I…" She had kept quiet about this for so long and was so worried about what would happen if anyone knew the truth. But this was Amanda, who wasn't her editor — at least not anymore. Amanda was just a friend now, and it was time Max told her friend the truth.
"I slept with Logan."
"What?" Amanda hissed. "Hold on." She took a big chug from her beer and slammed the glass on the table. "OK, I'm ready."
"Should you have drank that so fast?"
Amanda violently waved her hand in the air. "Evan is over talking to the business guys about innovative marketing or some crap. He's driving me home. So start telling me about this one-night stand with Logan."
"It wasn't a one-night stand."
Amanda took another large swig of her beer dropping the glass on the table. "OK, keep going."
Max took a deep breath and started talking. She told Amanda about that first night in Denver last year. She rehashed the fight she had with Logan in the parking lot and his apology the next night. She even told Amanda about getting drinks with him and then taking him home.
Then she told her about the gifts from the team.
"Barry was there and told me I couldn't take the gifts. You know, corporate policy."
Amanda sadly nodded her head. "That sucks."
"So Logan came by my apartment to give them to me."
Her friend gave her a mischievous grin. "And you had sex with Logan Moore again."
Max shook her head. "I told him I couldn't see him anymore."
"Why would you tell him that?" she replied incredulously.
"Because I can't have a hockey player as my boyfriend if I want to get another reporting job."
Amanda leaned over and gave her a warm smile. "Please don't take this the wrong way and know that I'm saying this to you as your friend."
"But?"
"But you're fucking stupid."
Max sat back and stared across the table. "Wow, you have had way too much beer tonight."
"I have not. Don't try to use my one beer as another excuse."
"I'm not using it as an excuse. I'm not using any excuses."
Amanda pointed at her. "You are using excuses," she said. "'Oh, Amanda drank a pint of beer and the rules are the rules and I can't get a job if I'm dating Logan.' Excuses."
Max threw her hands up in exasperation. "But it's true. I would never be able to get a job if I was dating Logan."
"You couldn't get a reporter job, I'll give you that. But you could get another job and still have Logan in your life. And let's be honest: you want Logan in your life."
"Do I?"
Amanda rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "We've been miserable for weeks now. Weeks! And I've only seen you really be genuinely happy twice. Once, when you heard I got a new job, and I appreciate your support. Really. But the second was now when you were talking about Logan. Your face looked different when you talked about him. Just the thought of him changed your whole demeanor." Amanda reached across the table for Max's hand. "So now this is me supporting you. You have to find a way to be happy with Logan."
Max just stared at her. It was as if something had suddenly changed. She had finally told someone about her relationship and rather than hearing that it wouldn't work or she couldn't be with Logan and a reporter at the same time, Amanda told her something that she already knew. If Max had been honest with herself from the very beginning, if she could be honest with herself now, she knew that she needed Logan.
She could feel a tear fall onto her cheek, and then another one. She quickly wiped them away, not wanting anyone to see her crying. She had done enough of that in the newsroom already.
"Max?"
She looked up to see Amanda staring at her with a look of concern on her face. This was serious. Max couldn't deny it anymore. Her relationship with Logan was an actual real relationship — or at least it could be if Max got the courage to stop this nonsense and put her feelings first.
But what the hell was she supposed to do next? Sure, this whole revelation about Logan was amazing and great and she was so thankful that she finally told someone. But now what? Was she supposed to just call him or ask him to coffee? She needed to do something bigger than that. Logan's relationship with her was too important for just a phone call. She needed to see him. She needed to say all of this to him in person. Maybe find out where he lived and knock on his door like he knocked on hers, or track him down at practice or after a game or something.
Or the New Year's party at Jordan's.
Max closed her eyes. This was a bad idea, she thought. It's really stupid and bad and dumb. But it wasn't. She knew it wasn't. She knew she was just trying to talk herself out of going there. She couldn't do that anymore.
"Amanda?" She opened her eyes to see her friend staring at her. "I need to leave."
A huge smile spread across Amanda's face. "That's my girl." She took Max's hand and stood up, pulling her friend to her feet. "You have a plan?"
"Sort of."
"Good enough." Amanda pulled her into a tight hug, then stepped away with a warm smile on her face. "You've been the best reporter an editor could ever ask for. But now you need to grab your coat and go get your man, Maxine Quinn."
Chapter 22
Max drove as quickly as was legally allowed out of Detroit towards the suburbs. It wasn't until she got off the freeway that she realized she had no idea where she was going. The invitation from Jordan was still in her apartment, which was not part of the plan. But then none of this was really part of the plan, was it?
She drove into her the lot of her apartment building, parking her car in a haphazard way that took up two spots. It didn't matter since she would be back soon. She sprinted into the building, up the stairs two at a time. The key thankfully cooperated with her and she threw her door open. That stupid gift bag was sitting right on her kitchen table where Logan had left it. She had been too depressed to move it, which now worked to her advantage. She found the invite tucked against the side of the bag next to her new jersey.
The address was in Birmingham, not too far away. She could even make it before the ball dropped in Times Square. Max checked her watch: 11:30. Then she checked her clothes. Her skinny jeans looked fine, but the rest had to go. She ran into her room, sitting down on the bed to toss off her ratty old tennis shoes and her Detroit Herald shirt.
Her closet door flew open and she grabbed the first pair of high heels she could get her hands on. Then she looked up at her hangers, quickly swiping through her choices before she found a black sequined short-sleeved shirt. It was definitely not short-sleeve weather but it would have to do. She hobbled into the bathroom, putting on her heels as she walked, to brush her hair and put on a quick coat of her red lipstick. She walked as fast as she could to her living room, grabbed her coat, her keys and the invitation, and headed out. The stairs were a little harder to navigate with her new shoes, but she still managed to get to the lobby and head out the door.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
The snow immediately froze the toes peeking out of her open-toed shoes. If she had thought this plan through, she would've grabbed a sensible sweater and shoes more appropriate for the winter snow. But she hadn't thought it through, which was what made it a good plan right now. No need to over think professing her feelings to Logan Moore just yet.
She typed Jordan's address into her phone and started driving. The navigation told her it would take her 10 minutes to get there so she was still miraculously running early for the New Year's part of the New Year's party.
Sure enough, she pulled up to Jordan's street and parked her car at 11:45. She was cutting it close, but she still had time. Max took a deep breath and then got out of her car.
"I hate you, shoes," she told her freezing wet feet.
Jordan's front door was decorated with a huge evergreen wreath — probably something purchased by Charlotte — and she could see people moving around on the other side of the stained glass. She slowly opened the door to find a few of the players looking over at the newest arrival as a gorgeous woman in a little black dress walked over with a smile on her face.
"I'm so glad you made it," Charlotte said as she greeted Max with a warm hug.
"I cut it close," she replied. "Sorry about that. I was just out with the newspaper crew."
"I'm so sorry about all of that." Charlotte took Max's coat and smiled. "But tomorrow is a new year, right?"
She couldn't help but laugh. "Right."
"I'm tossing your coat in the office. Go get yourself a drink in the kitchen and then come watch the ball drop."
Max felt so under dressed as she walked by some of the people at the party. No one was wearing jeans. Her flashy shirt could only get her so many style points. A few of the guys were wearing outfits she would normally see them in on game days. But she was here, and that was something.
Jordan's kitchen was huge with cabinets lining the walls and a large island with a dark granite counter top. There were little appetizers set up along with cookies and small pastries. A bar in the corner was stocked with liquor and different sized glasses. There were also champagne flutes set up and several open bottles stuffed in a large tub of ice. That was going to be Max's first stop.
She tried to gently pour the champagne but was a little too hasty as bubbles started to overflow from the glass. Max quickly picked it up, sipping from the top of the glass before anymore spilled over. Then she put it back down on the counter and stared menacingly at the puddle she had created.
"Dammit," she muttered, grabbing a few cocktail napkins from the counter to clean up the mess.
This was great. Just great. Her feet were cold, her hands were sticky. She showed up under dressed and way past fashionably late for this party. And all this for what? For Logan? The only good thing about this so far was that she hadn't seen him yet because, frankly, she still had no idea what she was going to say to him when she did.
Max stared down at the damp napkins on the counter, trying to collect her thoughts that were all a mess inside her head. This was a disaster. She shouldn't have come. She should've just gone home, locked the door and watched TV by herself. But no, she had to come racing over here like a bat out of hell without thinking though what she was wearing or where she was going or what she was going to say when she got there.
Because why feel sorry for yourself after losing your job if you can't add to your misery by trying to find the man you want to be with on New Year's Eve and walk yourself into another depressing disaster?
"Max?"
Of course, this would be the perfect moment for Logan to find her hiding in the kitchen staring at a champagne glass. Of course.
She took a deep breath and turned to look at him. He was even more gorgeous than she remembered, if that was possible. He still had the stubble he was growing over the past week or so. He was wearing black dress pants and a thin navy sweater that accentuated the muscles underneath. It looked like he got a bit of a haircut since she saw him with some sort of product to give it a little bit of volume.
He stared at her in shock, not seeming to know what to say or do next. She felt the same way. But this was Logan. He was why she came tonight. Why she put on these stupid shoes without thinking and hoped her lipstick was sort of straight.
Max gave him a small smile. "Hi."
Logan put his empty glass down on the counter and leaned against it, staring her down with his dark brown eyes.
"I didn't think you were going to come."
"I didn't think I was either."
He cocked his head slightly, his mouth turning into a tight smile. "And yet here you are."
"Here I am."
Max could hear the bustle of everyone in the other room as they got closer to the New Year. But she didn't want to go in and see what they were watching. She didn't want to be around anyone but Logan right now, no matter how much turmoil it caused her to be in the same room as him.
"So why are you here, Max?"
She looked up at his questioning eyes. She had to speak now or walk away, and she didn't want to walk away.
"I went out for drinks tonight with everyone from work, and I was miserable. We all were. But I wasn't just miserable because of my job." She took a step closer to him. "I was miserable because I wasn't with you."
He scowled and took a step back, trying to maintain the distance between them. "You made it clear that you didn't want to be with me," he said icily.
"I was wrong. I was really so wrong, Logan, and I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all back."
His features softened a bit, but he still seemed intense and unsure. He crossed his arms in front of him and looked down at his feet. "So what are you trying to say, Max?"
She stepped forward, hoping she could get closer to him without him pulling away again. He stayed where he was, giving her hope. Maybe this would to turn out alright after all. She put her hands on his crossed forearms, his muscles instinctively flexing under her fingers.
"I'm saying I choose you." His eyes darted up and stared at her, willing her to continue. "Whatever job I get, it won't matter if I don't have you. There are plenty of jobs out there, but there's only one man I want to be with."
Logan didn't move or say anything. He just stared at her. Maybe she had said too much. Maybe this wasn't the right time or the right place.
She had done all of this on a whim. She had no plan and just rushed in here with her stupid shoes and her disheveled hair. Next time Max did something like this, she would think it through. Not that she would ever do something like this again, at least not with Logan. Because as the silence continued to linger, she was realizing that she had been right all along. This was a bad idea.
Max's fingers slipped off of Logan's arm as she took a step back from him, and then another one. He was still staring at her without saying a word.
"Anyway, that's what I wanted to say."
Her hands hung by her sides and she was unsure of what to do next. What else could she do? What could she say? Logan just stood there silently with no emotion on his face. Her mind was racing, wondering if she should just say goodbye and walk out. Maybe she could duck out the back door without anyone noticing her.
Max could hear the crowd in the other room counting down to the New Year, their voices echoing through the quiet kitchen.
"Five… four… three… two… one!"
Logan took a quick step towards her, grabbing her around the waist as he pulled her close and kissed her. His mouth was desperate and determined, his fingers in her hair, tilting her head so he could tease her mouth with his tongue. She finally had enough sense to reach up, wrapping her arms around his neck, pushing her body against his. He moaned softly in response, urging her on. Then his hand slipped from her waist to the small of her back under that stupid shiny shirt she had thrown on. There was no need to worry about the short sleeves now. Her body was burning up with her need for him. Her feet were warm again as she tried to stand on her tip toes to get closer to him.
This is why she was here. This is what she wanted. She had been worried for too long about her job and its rules. But when she had to face the truth, when she had to decide what she really wanted, she wanted Logan. She wanted his lips on hers and his hands on her body. She wanted to be by his side at a party or with his friends or at her apartment. She didn't really care where as long as Logan was with her, especially if he would kiss her like this.
