Howl (Witches & Warlocks Book 4), page 9
Thing is, each time I look back, there’s nothing behind me. Not one tiny little speck of a thing. There’s absolutely no reason for me to be this nervous. None.
So, why do I feel like throwing up? Like I want to ask my tiger to sit in the passenger seat and keep me company just in case? ‘Cause that wouldn’t draw attention. A tiger in the front seat.
This is just another example of me overthinking something. Getting myself all worked up over absolutely nothing at all. I mean, I’m a witch for God’s sake! So what if there’s someone behind me? Just goes to show that a lifetime of experience can’t be overridden by a sudden change. Just because I’m a badass witch now doesn’t suddenly make me feel brave in the face of adversity. It should. But it doesn’t. I should totally work on that.
Desperate to get my mind off my stalker problem and my eyes off the mirror, I let myself feel the disappointment I’d been holding back when I found the empty file cabinet. I knew it was a long shot, going to the ranch. I knew that if people were desperate enough to rip pages out of the witch lineage books that they wouldn’t be stupid enough to leave a bunch of files hanging around an abandoned building for anyone to find.
But that doesn’t mean I didn’t hope for something different. Doesn’t mean I didn’t hope to find a big pile of information that explained my real parents. What happened to them? Where they came from and therefore where I came from. Then, I could understand why Becca’s parents knew I was adopted when I never did. And, more than anything, I might finally be able to understand myself.
I mean, I understand the basics of who I am and why things have gotten so crazy. I’m Zoe Tate. Born of Tara Archer and Malichi Dalton. Raised by Helen and Joseph Tate. I’m a witch. One of the more powerful ones of this generation. Maybe of several generations. Hell, maybe the most powerful witch born in a really, really long time. Capable of using both light and dark magic in equal measure. Capable of changing life to death and death to life. I’m a game changer. A serious crimp in the cool factor for the vampires, able to neutralize all their power with one life-bringing spell.
I was created as a weapon. Raised in the best possible environment to forge my weapon-ness. My powers and personality were cultivated. Hell, if I think about it, my shyness and lack of confidence were probably more on purpose than I originally gave everyone credit for. I mean, I’ve just assumed they were spells put on me by Becca in order to help keep me hidden, but now that I think about it, that delightful side of my personality might have been part of Daya and Barnabe’s plan all along. I mean, what better way to deal with a weapon that might end up more powerful than you are than to make her eager to please and unsure of herself?
I laugh and the sound is out of place in the quiet car. I turn on the radio to keep myself company. Check the mirror again. It’s snowing for real now, visibility is low, but I see a car behind me now. How long has it been there? I squint at the reflection. Is it a car or is it a truck? Is it Ty?
Dang it, Zoe. Get a grip. If it’s Ty, it’s no big deal. I mean, it’s a really scary deal, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I’ve got the genealogy to burn that sucker to a crisp if he tries to lay one hand on me.
I take a deep breath in through my nose and let it out through my mouth. Redirect my thoughts back to my parents and try not to berate myself too much when I can’t keep my eyes out of the mirror. It definitely looks like a truck now and I’m definitely not going to let my guard down. But I’m also not going to let myself spin up into a catatonic ball of nerves.
After one more look through the rearview, (truck is still there, closer now) I bring my thoughts back to my parents. Why do I care so much? Why isn’t it enough just to know these things about myself and build a life around what I already know? What more could I possibly want? And, honestly, what good can come of it? I had a lovely childhood with loving parents. What if learning about my birth parents sullies that somehow?
And then there’s the question I hate to ask.
What if the Tates knew the truth about me?
Oh, God. What if they knew what I am the whole time? What if they’ve been in on all of this and that happy childhood of mine was yet another lie?
I’m definitely not a fan of that thought. Of learning that one more set of people I trust didn’t deserve my trust. My stomach’s already churning over the truck in the rearview and the goosebumps I’m trying to ignore. Now, with that thought bouncing around down there, I might end up actually having to pull over and get sick. And given the whole possible stalker who wishes me harm who might be behind me deal, pulling over is just not an option. But neither is throwing up on my new leather seats.
I take a breath. Work on a spell to calm my nerves. Something soothing, like herbal tea on a cold day. The spell needs to be subtle, built from light magic. Nothing that will tire me out or take the edge off so far that I let down my guard too much.
With the magic flowing through me, the nausea is dissipating. I’m tempted to cast a protection spell over the car, but if that is Ty back there, I don’t want to give away the fact that I know he’s following me. I want him to make a mistake so I can catch him in the act and have a reason to hurt him. ‘Cause if I hurt him, there’s gonna be a summit. And if I’m up on that stage with nothing other than “I thought he was following me” there’s gonna be hell to pay. And I’m tired of paying hell.
I’m back in familiar territory now. Close to home. Which is good because the snow’s really starting to stick on the road. Things are getting slick and it’s gonna be hard to drive in another couple minutes. I hope Noah’s not too far behind.
Great. Like I needed another reason to worry.
Finally, I see my driveway up ahead and as I slow down and turn on my turn signal, I check the mirror one last time. There’s the truck, looming large behind me. Not slowing down. Maybe speeding up.
OK, definitely speeding up.
I turn the wheel and hit the gas. The tires spin in the slush and the rear end of the car fishtails out behind me. I turn, no need to look through the rearview in order to see the truck now because it’s beside me now. Coming straight for me. And it’s definitely Ty in the driver’s seat. Grinning as the huge front end of his vehicle bears down on me.
I mutter a spell, so much a reflex that I don’t even know which one. My tires catch and I lurch forward into my driveway as Ty barrels past me without hitting the brakes. There’s the roar of his engine and a rush of wind, and he’s gone. Me? I’ve stomped the brakes and stopped my car and my heart is racing and I can’t catch my breath. My cellphone is on the floor and I bend down to pick it up.
So now what? I should get the hell out of my car and into my house where I’ll be safe, but I’m not so sure my legs are ready to carry me yet. I check the mirrors again, try to peer through the cloud of white smoke pouring out of my tailpipe. Is Ty coming back? How close is Noah? How safe is my house? How safe am I, sitting in my locked car in my driveway?
With effort, I calm down. I think the worst place for me is my driveway. If Ty turns around, he’s got access to me here, but there’s no way he can get to me if I’m in my house. Not with my wards up. And then there’s the whole Becca situation. She can get through my wards because she’s a witch, but there’s a chance she might not be able to get into my house because she’s also a vampire. So, that’s settled then. Time to make a run for my front door.
So, why am I still sitting in my car?
I lose a long breath that fogs up my front window. Gather my house keys into my hand. Slip my phone into my purse and my purse onto my shoulder. Take one last look around before I get out of my car. And then I sprint for the door. It’s not pretty. It’s me running for my life. Scared out of my mind, totally not caring that I’m strong enough to take care of myself.
My feet slip in the new snow and I fall down, one hand sinking down into the snow and hitting the gravel beneath. I stand up, embarrassed, and take a moment to compose myself. Look down to brush the snow from my keys and to dry my reddened hand on my pants. And when I look up, I find Becca in between me and the front door.
My stomach lurches and my knees go weak, but score one for me, I stay standing and my food stays inside my body rather than making a grand reappearance at my feet. What I don’t manage to do is say anything. At all. It’s just me and Becca on my front porch. My breath visible as it puffs out in front of me in little frozen bursts.
Her? Not so much. No breath for the undead.
My eyes are wide. Her’s? Great back voids that make me think of sharks and demons and death and dying. My ears are trained towards the street because, please God, don’t let Ty decide to turn around. And Noah? I’m not sure if I want him here or not. Not if Becca’s gonna go all homicidal vampire on me.
“It’s OK, you know,” she says. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
“Sure, that’s what they all say.” My voice is steady so score another one for me.
Becca laughs and it’s so cold, I’m surprised it doesn’t fall from her lips in big, frozen chunks. “You’re really funny, you know?”
“You should have heard all the shit in my head over the years. Hilarious.” What am I doing? Just gonna chat her up out here in the cold? ‘Cause apparently that’s the entirety my plan. OK, so what should I be doing? Should I let her talk to me? Should I try to let Daya know she’s here? Should I try to talk her down? Talk her down from what? She seems almost stable.
Except for the whole bloodlust in her black eyes thing. I wouldn’t exactly call that stable. I’ve also never seen a vampire look like that before. Even Lucy, at her most maniacal, had normal human eyes.
This interaction is already hella strange. Let’s just see push it to the max, why don’t we. “Becca,” I ask. “Why are your eyes all black?”
“Because I’m hungry.” She doesn’t flinch when she says it. Doesn’t bat an eyelash. Just keeps her gaze fixed to mine. Although her nostrils flare when my pulse starts getting ahead of itself and I don’t like that one bit. “But that’s not why I’m here,” she finishes and finally blinks.
“Why are you here?”
Goosebumps swirl over my arms, my neck, and my back. I desperately want to turn around because I’m pretty damn sure that Ty is lurking somewhere back there. Ready to pounce while my back is turned. Although maybe Becca being here is working in my favor right now. Keeping him at bay.
“I miss you,” she says and a half-crazed giggle catches in my throat. She misses me? After a lifetime of lying to me? Of keeping so. many. truths. hidden from me? Of locking me up tight and keeping the key all to herself?
“You don’t even really know me,” I say, thankful once again that my voice stays level. There’s not even a hint of accusation.
“I know you better than you think.”
Realization hits me in the face. “The Memenderat. You had my journal spelled. You probably do know me better than I know myself.” My voice is definitely not level this time and there’s most definitely a good amount of accusation in there. I mean, how many people are going to end up knowing more than me about me? In what universe is that even close to fair?
Becca nods. “I know exactly who you are. I’ve known you better than anyone for our whole lives. And yes, I do know you better than you know yourself. And you know what? You’re kind. You’re sweet. You’re thoughtful and intelligent. You’re fucking hilarious.”
My skin is crawling with the feeling of being watched and I’m not sure if I’m furious or flattered by what Becca’s saying. All I know is that my fight or flight instinct is jangling away and this time, I’m not interested in running. Not at all.
Becca opens her palms towards me and I flinch away from the movement. “Now that all the cards are out on the table and you know what you are, and what I am … well … as much as anyone can know what I am, I guess … I want to be your friend.”
“Cause you were so good at it the last time.” I can’t help it. I know I should stay quiet, but I’m tired of staying quiet. Her betrayal hurt. Why should I sweep it all under the rug just because she’s sorry now?
“I deserve that,” she says.
“Ya you do.”
Becca’s eyes widen and for a split second I’m afraid I went too far. Angered the beast. Poked the hungry vampire. But then I realize that she’s looking behind me.
Shit.
Is Ty here? I whirl and recognize the sound of snow crunching under tires. Call up my magic and get ready to blast that crazy bastard within half an inch of his life if he dares to get out of his truck.
And all the wind falls out of my sails and I swear I actually sag when I recognize Noah’s shiny new car. When I turn back to say something to Becca, she’s already gone.
Chapter Fourteen
Noah practically jumps out of his car and manages to race towards me without slipping on the frozen driveway. His face is stricken and his eyes are wide and his pulse is pounding and I’m not sure how much else I can handle. If something has him this upset, it might just crush me given how crazy the last five minutes of my life were.
“What’s wrong,” we ask at the same time, both equally frantic.
He looks as confused as I feel. “I’m fine,” he says. “Or I was, until I saw you. You look awful.”
I can’t help it. I start laughing. An awful out of control laugh that threatens to erode all the points I scored by keeping it so cool talking to Becca. “I thought,” I begin and lose my words to a high pitched snickering that so doesn’t sound like me. “I thought there was something wrong with you,” I manage. “And I didn’t think I was gonna be able to handle you having something wrong because I’m really freaked out right now.” Those last words sober me right up. I stop laughing and stare blankly at Noah.
“Let’s get inside before you freeze.” He doesn’t say what I know he’s thinking. Let’s get inside before something else happens. And I’m really glad he doesn’t say that. I don’t need any reminders of how many bad things could have happened to me just now. He takes the keys from me, opens the door, and ushers us inside.
Twinks bounces towards us, tail shaking happily and I distract myself by going to check his food bowl in the kitchen. I have no idea if I fed him this morning or not. He follows me, more like a puppy then a kitten and I sigh in relief to find he’s still got food. “I’m a terrible momma, aren’t I?” I say as I swoop him up and nuzzle his neck. His purr box switches into high gear and he nuzzles his face into my shoulder. “But you love me anyway, don’t you?” I can’t help but smile, the kitty love and the safety of my own home helping to erase all the scary stuff that happened just outside the door only moments ago.
Noah helps me take off my coat while I juggle Twinks and then leads me to the couch. “What happened?” he asks as we sit down together.
I explain seeing the truck in my rearview. Watching it as I checked to see if it was Ty. As I became certain it was Ty. How he tried to ram me and I lost control but managed to make it into the driveway as he sped past. How Becca was waiting for me when I made it to the front porch.
Noah’s listening with a slack jaw. “What did she want?” he asks, shock transitioning to anger when I mention her name.
“I think she wants to be friends.”
He laughs. A short, barking sound that makes it clear how he feels on that topic. “Oh ya? Friends, huh? ‘Cause she did such a good job last time?”
I smile and sigh. “I said the same thing.”
“Out loud? So she could hear?”
“Yes, actually, I said it right to her face. You’d be proud of me.”
“Of course I’m proud of you.” He squeezes my thigh and I put Twinks down into my lap so I can grab his hand. “I’m always proud of you.”
It’s ridiculous how those words affect me. Something warm and wonderful and happy swells inside me. I realize I’m beaming, the strength of the emotions buzzing around inside me too strong to be contained.
“Really?” I ask, because I’d kind of like to hear it again.
“Yes. Really. Why do you look so surprised?”
I tell him all about how silly I felt, driving back to my house, nervously checking my rearview mirror when I’m supposed to be some kind of badass witch. Scared of the big bad wolf behind me when I’ve got more power in my pinky finger than most women have in their whole bodies. “And there’s one guy following me in his truck and what do I do? Freak out,” I finish, shaking my head in disgust.
“Ya, but, you’d be foolish to use even a fraction of all that power in your pinky finger without Ty doing something to actually provoke you. Can you imagine the inquisition that’d be brought down on your head if you hurt him without proof that he wants to hurt you? With all the rumors and shenanigans going around about you and all the dead vampires?”
“The rumors and shenanigans that are totally well founded.”
“Exactly. All the more reason to keep yourself out of the spotlight, don’t you think?”
I sigh again and Twinks hops off my lap and I watch as his little kitten feet carry him into the kitchen. Smile at the cracks and crunches that mean he’s chomping into his dinner.
“It’s normal to be scared, Zo. Just because you’re a witch doesn’t mean you’re immune to fear. Doesn’t mean your emotions get cut off. It’s not like TV. You’re a real person.”
“It feels like TV,” I say, cracking a smile. “Zoe Tate, Vampire Slayer.”
Noah laughs and I tuck my feet up under me, lean into him. I love that he basically said all the things that I’d already told myself to help me feel better. Makes me feel like maybe I’m learning. Like maybe I’m on my way to figuring out how to navigate this supernatural world after all.
“You know what,” he says after a while. “Maybe it’d be a good idea to get Daya involved. I don’t know, file a complaint or something? Just so there’s a record in case things escalate.”
Ty’s face flashes through my mind. The gleeful smile as his truck came barreling right towards me. “I’m pretty sure things will escalate.”
