As the train started to pull away, she heard her stomach grumble. Samantha thought she couldn’t be hungry yet, as it was hours to go until lunchtime. She picked out her sandwich from her bag and decided to eat it and hoped that there would be food provided when she arrived. As she opened her bag, the smell of chlorine was released. Samantha had used the bag only a couple of days earlier when she went swimming and the smell lingered for days. She ate her cheese sandwich in one hand, which tasted like she was eating the rubber dinghy in a swimming pool, and scrolled through her phone on the other. Samantha kept checking the next route she would need to take which involved a bus to Ilford. When she had finished her sandwich, she reached into her bag for her salt and vinegar crisps, such was Samantha's staple lunch when she was at work when her hand felt something rubbery. She hesitated, initially repelled by the sensation. At first, Samantha thought that it was perhaps her bag falling apart but when she pulled it out she recognised the blue rubber band with the two plastic screens. Samantha shook her head, rolled her eyes and put them back in her bag. In her hurry to pack her bag when she returned from swimming, she had left her swimming goggles in the bag.

  Half an hour later, Samantha left the train at Stratford and went across to the bus terminal to get her bus to Ilford. As she was running across to the bus station she saw a bus depart at the terminal, she ran with her bag beating her back with each stride repeating in a mantra “please not my bus, please not my bus”. As the bus turned she saw the word “Romford” and knew she had missed the bus. She slowed her run and shouted, “god damn it!” She got out her phone and looked for the next bus to Ilford, it left in ten minutes. She made her way across to that terminal and waited. The bus was already waiting and she boarded it. She looked anxiously at her watch, 7.35pm, she was already 5 minutes behind schedule which in theory was acceptable, if she was at the correct school that is. She impatiently looked at her watch every minute as time seemed to stand still and stared out of the window. Occasionally she would look at the driver as if her glare would make him go at that given time. Eventually, the bus left on time at 7.40am. Samantha looked around the bus there was a mixture of characters on board, some old, some young and some who looked out of place. The bus was almost full but people had avoided sitting next to Samantha so she was in one of the only places with a spare seat next to her. She smelled her armpits wondering if in her stress and running she had caused herself to emit a rather unfriendly odour. Samantha couldn’t smell anything but realised you never can when it is yourself and returned to looking out of the window. The sun had risen and was shining in some part of the world, but in Stratford, dark clouds loomed overhead and it looked like it would rain at any given moment.

  Samantha looked out at the bus nervously, she didn’t know where she was and had blindly followed Google Maps, which informed her she had three stops to go. After the second stop, an old man in a raincoat sat next to her. He was wearing a floppy brown hat and clearly was not from the upper end of society. Samantha suddenly felt very claustrophobic being squeezed towards the window of the bus, knowing she would need to get off soon. The man next to her was unshaven and his eyes were red. Samantha thought that he was either on drugs or still drunk from the night before. She continued to look out of the window and shifted her body in an angle towards it. Suddenly the smell of the man sitting next to her seemed to waft over her, she could smell a mixture of drink and wet damp rain, but yet it wasn’t raining outside.

  The man next to her started to shut his eyes and he made sudden grunts. Samantha panicked that she might not be able to get off at her stop and decided that she would rather stand. She said to the man, “excuse me, can I get out?” There was no response from the man in the coat. She nudged him “excuse me Mr, I would like to get out.” There was no response. She put her hand on his shoulder and lightly shook him “excuse me!”

  His eyes opened and he snapped. “What! What do you want?” He put his face directly in front of hers, so she could see the yellow of his teeth and the fact that a few had been removed either by force or circumstance. Samantha thought if she was any part of this man she would have wanted out too.

  “I need to get passed, I tried to tell you.”

  He mumbled “yeah whatever” and slid his body around so his legs were in the aisle. Samantha looked at the small gap he had left and realised that she would have to try and get past. She stood up and slid her legs past him one by one and felt his eyes on her as she left. She could even hear him taking a long sniff of her as he walked past.

  She went to the front of the bus. “Is this the nearest stop for Kings Hill School?”

  The driver grunted at her, “next one after.” She smiled and said thanks. She glanced at her watch, 7:50am. She was running out of time. Samantha turned back to the bus and saw the man in the hat smile. She could not see his eyes because of the rim of his hat and for some reason that made his smile all the more frightening. Samantha hoped this would be the last time in a long while that she would need to come to London, only now had she realised how much she hated the place.

  Samantha departed at the second stop. She started to see a huddle of people going in a certain direction. She realised that they were heading the same way as her and she followed them. As Samantha approached the school, she saw there was now a crowd of people, young and old approaching with her. Some had struck up a conversation on the way and others kept to themselves. Samantha suddenly felt very self-conscious at her choice of clothes as she saw many people in clothes that looked smart. She approached the huddle of people gathered outside the gates and knew it was a bad sign. There was a rumble of people muttering to themselves. She saw one woman turn and walk away. She could hear her exclaim “I knew it was the other one.” Many still stood around in confusion staring at the gates as if they were to magically open.

  Samantha stopped in her tracks and looked at her phone. The white time icon glared at her showing her it was 7:57am. She knew that she barely had time to make it to the other school. She turned around and started to make her way through the crowd. As she did and was pushing past, the man behind her said, “damn it! It was always going to be the one I didn’t choose. Looks like you made the same mistake too.”

  She lifted her gaze from her phone. The man in front of her was taller than her by a couple of inches and was around 6 foot. He had some stubble around his jawline in a dark nature. He had dark brown short hair which was styled upwards at a slight angle. He smiled at her and she smiled back. “Yeah me too, luck doesn’t really run in the family. I need to dash otherwise I’ll miss the bus. See you there.” She started to push her way past him again but he grabbed her shoulder. She spun around and glared at him. She shrugged his hand away and continued to push past the crowds. As she left the huddle, she heard him shouted after her. “Hey, come back!” She stopped, turned and saw he was jogging up to her. She sighed with relief, he was at least dressed in more casual clothes like her. He was wearing black trousers which on first appearance looked like smart trousers but Samantha saw the light material and realised they were actually jogging trousers, with smart trainers and a dark grey smart jacket over the top. “If you need a lift, you can come with me?”

  Samantha was about to leap at the opportunity but then recalled the experience she had with the man on the bus this morning. Samantha didn’t trust strangers. She smiled and said, “I’m fine, thanks.” He grabbed her arm and said “look you can do what you want, but you will miss the start if you go on public transport. You know it as well as I do.”

  Samantha shook her arm free and looked at her watch. He was right. With London traffic as it was, even on a Sunday, she would never make it. She looked him up and down and weighed up her options. “OK. Thanks.”

  They both ran to his car which was a blue Vauxhall Corsa and parked just around the corner. He got in and started the engine, he turned and said, “It’s nothing flash but its reliable.” They started on the journey to Watford and drove towards the M1.

  Samantha looked out of the window. “Better than what I’ve got!”

  He laughed and said “oh yeah and what’s that? Wait let me guess? A Fiat 500?”

  She laughed “Nope nothing, I haven’t got a car.” She heard him say “oh.” An awkward silence enveloped the car. That is when the tension in the car filled and Samantha felt a growing hate of him. She decided that he gave off an obnoxious air and was trying too hard to gain friends.

  “I’m Mike, by the way, Mike Aston.” Samantha turned to face him. The only thing she wanted to do was get out of the car and away from this pretentious man but she needed him. If he was malicious enough, he could leave her and she would be out of the competition for good.

  “Samantha” she replied. She turned back to the window.

  “Great. Where are you from Samantha?” Samantha just wanted the small talk to come to an end but they had reached the usual traffic on the A1 and we're not going anywhere anytime soon. She looked at her watch, 8:27am, it was going to be tight.

  “Chesterfield. You?”

  He laughed. “From up t’North are ya?” Samantha rolled her eyes and wished for the time to just go quickly but each minute seemed like an hour. “I’m from Milton Keynes. So not far. You’ve come a treck on the bus then!”

  She had had enough of him and just replied “yeah” and hoped that was the end of it but clearly all Mike wanted to do was chat.

  “So Sammy...”

  “Don’t call me that!” She snapped. The only person who had called her that was her dad when she was small and it always made her feel that way. She turned and glared at him so fast that her hair whipped the side of her face.

  He lifted both hands off the wheel as they had come to a halt. “Woah no offence. Someone is tetchy. OK, Samantha.” He enunciated the end letter so it was three syllables longer than necessary. “What do you do for a living?”

  Samantha sighed and dreaded the falsely sympathetic response that would follow. “I’ve just left my job.” There was a long pause, just what Samantha had expected.

  Finally, there was a reply. “Oh, well good for you. Living the dream. I’m a strategic analyst.”

  She sarcastically replied, “well good for you.” They were approaching the turn for the M1. When they were on the M1 and driving at a decent pace, Mike said “Have I said something to offend you? I’m sorry if I did.”

  She turned to him, which was easier for Samatha to do now that his eyes were now firmly on the road. “It’s not you. It’s everything you stand for. The upper-middle-class who think they are better than everyone else.”

  He replied. “Well look who is Miss Judgemental! I had to work hard to get where I am thank you. I’m sorry things haven't worked out for you but you should have worked harder in school.”

  Samantha had finally had enough and raised her voice. “Well some of us don’t get spoon-fed. I had to leave school at sixteen to earn money for my family and to make a life for myself. I bet you sure as hell didn’t have to do that.”

  There was a silence that descended that lasted until they approached Watford. Samantha thought that the last twenty minutes of the car journey felt like quite possibly the longest car journey she had ever had.

  12.

  As they approached the north of Watford, they turned off and made their way across an area near Chandlers Cross. They descended down some country lanes and appeared to be going to the middle of nowhere. On the approach, they passed some houses that looked like mini-mansion houses, each was set in their own grounds. They finally saw a sign for “Kings Hill School” and turned left when indicated. They descended down another country lane for around a quarter of a mile. Then approached the school. It was a grand school that looked more like an old Manor House with big black gates guarding the entrance. The brown exterior gave off the air of great wealth with large glass windows and a couple of turrets at the very top of the building. Samantha looked around and could see that the school had grounds as far as the eye could see. In the grounds were: several playing fields, an outdoor pool and even its own stable yard. They approached the gates which were made of thick iron and were already open. Samantha could not stop the word “wow” escaping from her mouth. It was the first word she had said for twenty minutes.

  “A bit different from my school!” Mike replied.

  Samantha snorted. “No stable yard at yours?”

  Mike turned and glared. “Not that you would believe it Samantha, but I went to a school like you.” The only noise that followed was the noise of the tyres on the gravel. They could see the car park, which looked full of rows and rows of different vehicles, she looked across and could see out of the corner of her eye that Mike was doing the same. There were cars behind them already pipping their horns impatiently. Mike said “look, Samantha, I know you don’t think I’m like you, but I want to prove it to you. Jump out. If we both waited to park up we wouldn’t make it in time and I’ve got a feeling that these people don’t have patience. You go. I’ll see you inside.”

  She looked at the clock on the dash of the car, which showed a time of 8:56am and then looked at him. She felt a feeling of guilt for her judgement. “I can’t do that, it’s not fair.” They had stopped near the entrance. Cars were pipping their horns loudly and in unison like a one instrument band. Some had even gone over the stone edging and driven onto the grass, gesticulating to them as they passed. Samantha looked around, to her horror of her own selfishness she found that she already had one hand on the handle as if her head had made her mind up for her.

  He turned to her, looked into her eyes with a hard stare and raised his voice. “Just do it!”

  To the echoes of the beeping horns behind, Samantha grabbed her bag, pulled the handle towards her and ran out of the car. She ran across to the main entrance dodging between the cars and nearly getting run over twice as people frantically tried to make it in time. She checked her watch, it was 8:58am. She knew there was no way Mike was going to make it in time. As she ran up the marble stairs and through the large wooden doors, she turned back. Through the huddle of people rushing past her, she saw his car speed off to the car park. She turned and ran inside. The entrance hall was all in mahogany, with a stunning glass chandelier hanging down in the centre. The entrance hall alone would have made a grand hall wall. Samantha joined the queue and looked to the front. She could see the main reception desk where people appeared to be signing in and to the side a large foldaway table where bags were being rummaged through.

  Samantha could hear the constant chatter of excited people. There must have been at least fifty people in the queue in front of her. She could hear in the background exclaims of “that’s not fair, I need that!” and realised items were being confiscated. As she slowly progressed in the queue, she saw a man in a green jacket and trousers approach the door with a large key looking at his watch. Her eyes followed him as he stared at his watch as several frantic people piled in through the door and pushing the queue forward with a jolt. Samantha turned and saw the man put the key in the lock as some young people ran up the stairs to the hall. She looked at the many faces piling inside and could not see Mike. Then the man in the green jacket shut the big doors as people still squeezed through. As the doors shut with a loud bang and Samantha heard the key lock the door, she could still hear people outside banging on the door shouting, “Let us in, it's only just turned nine! We went to the wrong school, it wasn’t made clear! I’ve driven 100 miles to get here!” The man in the green jacket was oblivious to the noise. He pulled the key out of the door and walked away. Samantha tried to look at his face but there was a green cap covering his eyes, so she could not see him fully. It was clinical and brutal, Mike was right, they would not wait. She felt the guilt creep over her when she thought of him. She shook her head to dismiss the thought. She wondered if she was wrong about him but something about him seemed strange, too confident. She tried to forget Mike by rationalising that she probably would never see him again. The thought comforted her as she would never have to apologise for being a bitch to him. She turned her mind to the queue ahead. Samantha considered that if they were as brutal and efficient regarding the assessments as they were for the start, then she was in for a hell of a day.

  13.

  As she approached the front of the queue, having shuffled forward like sheep being huddled into a pen, Samantha could still hear the echoes of “I’m glad I’m not them.”, “Did they not see the nugget on the website?” and “They must have got stuck on the M25, I only just made it.” Samantha kept to herself as she approached the desk. A man in a green jacket with a green cap said “Name?” She paused, trying to peer underneath the rim of the cap. Trying to see a person under the facade. She wondered why Channel 3 had needed to put on the charade of making it so impersonal. Why did it matter if they knew who they were dealing with? Unless Samantha wondered, they were not dealing with Channel 3 at all but some other entity behind the scenes. Either way, it made her feel uneasy. Samantha wondered if that was the point.

  “Samantha Harrington.” He handed her a badge with her name on it. She stuck it on the front of her jacket.

  “Make your way across to the main hall, it is on the left and you have 5 minutes before the introduction starts. Your bag will be searched next. Please move to the left and have your bag ready.”

  She was just about to ask if lunch would be provided and how long the day would last when she saw his lips move and he shouted “next!” She mumbled her thanks and made her way across the table, just passed the desk and waited in another queue. Her bag was opened in front of her and each item emptied on the desk, for everyone around her to see. They removed her chocolate bar and put the packet in the bin next to them which was stacked high with unopened sandwiches, wraps and pasta lunches. Samantha was relieved she had eaten her sandwich on the train. “You are what you eat ey?” she said trying to feel a bit more human. There was no response. She watched as her: notepad, pen, penknife, book and goggles were presented on the bench. They packed the items back in her bag.

 

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