Saving The Mission, page 11
part #1 of The Race to Space Series
“Are you OK young lady?”
She looked at the lady who had grey hair and big round glasses, Samantha looked up at her with tears in her eyes. “I’m fine thank you.” Samantha just wanted to be left alone to express her frustrations and emotions.
The old lady replied. “You don’t seem fine.” While holding her back, she slowly sat down next to Samantha. “We’ve all been there, talk to me. What has happened? You will feel better if you do.”
Samantha didn’t feel like she had the energy left to fight anymore, she didn’t want to upset this kind old lady by shouting at her to go away. She looked at the lady with tears in her eyes and just said the first few words that came into her head. “I just got fired.” Samantha looked down at her hands. She wasn’t sure if it was the gravity that caused the tears to fall but as she was looking down, the wet tears splashed in her lap. Saying those words had made it all feel real. The old lady put her hands in Samantha’s wet palms.
“It is OK dear, it happens to us all at one time or another. You will get back on your feet.”
She had grabbed the top of Samantha's hand and looped her fingers around hers. Samantha didn’t want to talk anymore, she just wanted to be alone. “I suppose so.” There was an awkward silence between them which lingered. The old woman slowly removed her hand and they sat next to each other, looking out to the sets of rail tracks in front of them.
The old lady broke the silence. “The train is coming.”
Samantha looked up through her blurred vision and could barely see through the glare from the sun. Samantha quickly gathered her bag and walked to the end of the platform hoping that the old woman did not follow her. She did not look back, not wanting to invite her to join her.
She boarded the train and found a window seat with no-one next to her. How the trains were different at this time Samantha thought, so much quieter and actually space to sit down. She put her bag on the seat next to her, she definitely did not want anyone sat next to her today no matter how much they wanted to help. She looked out of the windows and saw in her reflection the sadness that reflected in her eyes. She saw the glistening reflection of where her tears had been a couple of minutes before.
Samantha got out her phone and looked at how long she would get redundancy pay for. She looked on the Government’s website and uncovered that she would get twelve weeks pay. She thought that should be enough time to find something else, even in the difficult current climate. Samantha felt like she needed to talk to someone, but didn’t feel she had anyone she felt comfortable talking to about it. She couldn’t tell her dad, he would just shout at her and tell her it was her fault and she couldn't deal with that just now. She could call or message Ryan, but if he couldn’t speak because he was at home, it would only depress her further. In the end, she just sent him a text.
“Hi Ryan, having a really bad day today, let me know when you’re free to chat. X”
She put her phone down on the coffee stained tray in front of her and stared out of the window as the tall buildings of Sheffield disappeared out of sight.
Deep down, Samantha blamed herself but she blamed FriendFinder more. Samantha had decided that after today, she would not go on FriendFinder anymore, all it did was make her feel depressed and inadequate compared to everyone else. Samantha wondered what she had been thinking, risking her job on a competition when she didn’t even know the prize. She had risked it all on the unknown and lost. Samantha knew at some point she would have to consider what she would do for the rest of her life but right now she just wanted to get home, get into her pyjamas and cry.
3.
The minute Samantha got home, she immediately stripped off her work clothes, took her bra off and put on her pyjamas. She sat down on the grey sofa which matched the grey walls and decided to watch the television. An advert appeared for children to enter a competition for the best drawing of a rocket to win a chance to go around the Dayton Space centre. She thought about how she would have seen that advert as a child, full of optimism and ambition.
Samantha looked around at the walls of her house. It was a moderate house, a terraced house which was cheap to buy compared to other parts of the country and she had decorated it well to make it look modern, so much so it looked like every other house. However, no amount of paint could hide the fact that the neighbours were incredibly annoying with their kids at night. Samantha thought how nice it was to be home during the day and how quiet it was.
Samantha looked around her living room. Even though it was in fashion, everything seemed to be grey. Grey walls, grey sofa, silver ornaments. Samantha wondered if she had realised how her life had affected her choice of decor, pleasant but dull. She picked up her phone, still no message from Ryan. She thought that she would call at the gym later to see if he was there. She had always been so flexible for him and his situation, but right now, for once she needed him.
She got up off the sofa, walked upstairs and into the bedroom. She opened the mirrored wardrobe, Samantha had gone for the staple grey in this room too. She picked out Ryan’s hoodie which he wore when he was over and walked back into the living room and sat on the sofa. She hugged the hoodie and sat smelling it for a while until she closed her eyes and went into a deep sleep.
4.
Later that evening, Samantha left her house at around 5:30pm and made her way to her local gym. She had chosen her most tight-fitting gym wear to make herself feel better and try to appeal to Ryan’s sexual desires. She was wearing a crop top style bra which was bright orange and completely visible through the green thin gym top she was wearing together, with tight black lycra leggings.
She put her headphones on and walked through Chesterfield town centre across to the gym, avoiding eye contact with other people on the way. As she approached the gym, she had a walk around the car park looking for Ryan’s BMW. She noticed that she was attracting a few questionable looks but tried not to care. She could be looking for her car for all they knew. She spotted the black BMW across the car park and smiled. The revelation added a spring into her step as she crossed the car park to the gym. She scanned her pass on the turnstiles and headed across the gym to the designated rooms for classes.
She found the room Ryan was in. Samantha thought that even after all the years they had been together, he still had the same effect on her. He had short brown hair and was wearing a tight sports top with baggy shorts. His muscles stood out through the top and his calf muscles were clearly defined. She felt the lurch in her stomach and her cheeks started to flush. As she was looking at him longingly, she noticed he was talking to a young girl with long brown hair tied into a ponytail, wearing clothes that would have been best suited on a beach. She wore a crop top and tiny shorts which showed all her long legs. Samantha noticed with envy how her long legs never met together despite the tiny shorts. Samantha caught herself in the reflection of the large mirrors they have in the exercise rooms. Her eyes looked tired and although she was trim, she didn’t have the six-pack and muscles like the girl Ryan was talking to. Samantha hovered near the door, her self esteem had plummeted. She no longer felt confident and sexy, just old and tired of life. She turned to walk out of the room. As she pulled the door handle, she heard Ryan’s familiar voice.
“Sam? What are you doing here? It’s circuit tonight, you don’t usually come to that.”
Samantha felt her head sink down and slowly lifted her head up and put on her best smile and turned around. “Hi Ryan, I didn’t know you were on tonight. I’ve had a rough day so thought I’d come down to try, and you know, pump it out.” She gave a fake half-hearted laugh. She felt Ryan eye her suspiciously. He walked over to her and lowered his voice.
“I got your text Sam, it’s just been mad here and at home. You know how it is. We can talk later, you didn’t need to come down.”
Samantha knew he had seen right through her plan and his judgemental look made her heart feel like it was breaking into tiny pieces. She was not going to cry, not here. She tried her best to stop her voice from wavering and make herself sound as indignant as she could. “I did not come for that Ryan. Jeez, I’m not desperate. I just needed to get out of the house. I, well, left my job today.”
Ryan’s face visibly relaxed. Samantha noted that he actually looked relieved. She considered that at one of the lowest points in her life, the person she was closest to actually looked relieved they hadn’t come to speak to them. She hoped she remembered this moment for when she felt strong enough to move on.
“I’m sorry Sam, sorry I’ve not been there. We can chat after class tonight. I’ll ask Nat to take the rest for me. That sound good?”
He looked into her eyes and stroked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. In that small moment of intimacy, she felt the love she had for him fill her like a glass being filled. It was as if the anger she had felt only moments before evaporated. “Sounds good.” She smiled back.
Ryan turned around and walked to the front of the class. During their exchange, more people had entered, walking past them with intrigued looks.
“Right guys, take your positions at each station and let's start!”
After fifteen minutes, Samantha had realised why she didn’t attend this class. It was hard work, her body ached already. She was determined to show Ryan that she was still young and tried her best to keep up with the seemingly ridiculous amount of press-ups, sit-ups and jogging on the spot. She was covered in sweat and was very red-faced. She lasted till the end of the class and pretended to do stretches until the last person went. Every female seemed to want to have a chat to Ryan and Samantha thought that they probably wanted to see him sweat in their bedroom. Samantha smiled and thought ‘well he is all mine’. It wasn’t strictly true but for Samantha, it was close enough.
When the last person had left, Samantha approached Ryan.
“Well, that was a bit intense!”
He laughed, she loved the sound of his laughter. Samantha recalled when she used to make him laugh all the time when they went on a date to the cinema or out for a meal. That was a rarity these days and as a result, the laughter seemed to die away.
“It is a bit, I was surprised you came to be honest. Come here.” He held her close so the top of her head was in the nave of his neck, she could smell his natural odour and it smelled sweet and at the same time musky. He smelled just like his hoodie. She held him close and felt his muscles against her chest. She felt safe and loved and wanted to never let go.
He eventually released his arms from behind her back and stood back to look at her. “Shall we grab a coffee?”
She smiled. “I could do with a gin, but sure!” As they were walking out, Ryan went to the main reception and stood talking to the receptionist. Samantha thought she saw him wink at her but dismissed the idea. He came striding over to her.
“All sorted. Now shall we get that drink?”
They walked across the gym car park, to the nearest local pub. It was dire inside. All the furniture was a murky brown so you couldn’t tell if it was stained or if that was its natural colour. On each table, there seemed to be middle-aged men staring into their pints with a solemn look. A faint noise of some chatter was all that filled the entire pub.
Ryan pointed over to the nearest TV. “Shall we sat there?”
She looked at him and nodded. Samantha knew in reality that he probably just wanted to sit near a TV so he could half-listen to her nightmare day, but half-listen to whatever sport was on the TV. At that moment she didn’t care, reassuring herself that at least he had made the effort.
They both sat down at a free table. Samantha put her hands on the table and instantly regretted it as it felt like she had to peel them off it. She muttered ‘delightful’ under her breath. She looked at Ryan who was walking across the bar to get their drinks. She looked around and wondered if she would be like the people in here soon enough. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind. Ryan returned with her favourite, a large glass of Pinot Grigio white wine which was so chilled the glass gave off a frosty glow.
“They didn’t have anything spectacular, I’m afraid. It was a case of drink this or dry gin!”
She cupped her hand around the stem of the glass and looked at him. “It’s great.”
He sat down opposite her. “So what’s happened, Sam?”
Samantha started to recall her day to Ryan and how it ended. She omitted to tell Ryan the part where she pushed what turned out to be her boss and the CEO.
Ryan listened carefully and said “Shit Sam, that is a rough day.” She nodded and took a long gulp of her wine. There was a silence between them but Samatha did not feel awkward,
“Drink up and let’s go back to yours.” He winked at her. “If you're up for it of course.”
She licked her lips, licking up the residue of wine that had rested there. “Oh god yes!”
Samantha gulped the rest of her drink down and instantly felt the wine go to her head. Her head was starting to feel like it was swimming, she recalled she hadn’t eaten since she was on the train. They walked back to her place. Once inside, she walked across her kitchen and got a bottle of wine out of the fridge. She poured them a glass each and walked back to the living room. They sat on the sofa and drunk the wine until he leant over and kissed her deeply. She felt his tongue inside her mouth and felt herself get warmer all over. Her head was swimming but it made her more aroused and more eager for the pleasure that was awaiting her. He felt her breast and caressed it at first over her shirt and then under it. He took off her t-shirt and bra exposing her small but perfectly rounded breasts underneath. He leaned down and sucked her nipples making her moan with pleasure. Samantha could feel herself getting wetter and wanted more. She tilted his head back up to her and kissed him deeply while pulling his joggers down. She could feel how hard and erect he was under his boxer shorts and proceeded to grind herself against him to arouse him further.
Ryan then pulled away from her and took his joggers and boxers off and proceeded to remove Samantha's joggers and green thong. He then returned to kissing her and she started to move her body to the rhythm that they will later adopt. Ryan lifted her pelvis up and put one of her legs on the top of the sofa and the others around him. He then guided his erect penis inside of her gently at first but then harder and quicker. Samantha moaned in pleasure and could feel all the tension from the day escaping her as she lived in this moment of ecstasy. Ryan quickened his pace and his moans increase as he breathed “I’m going to come.” She then felt herself climaxing with him as they moved their bodies in unison until he let out a loud moan.
Ryan collapsed on her, and they both retained their normal breathing rates. Ryan slid out of her and made his way to the bathroom to clean up. They had sex twice more that night and emotionally spent, Samantha fell into a deep sleep.
5.
By the time Samantha woke up at 7am, she had patted the empty space in the bed next to her and realised that Ryan had already left. Her alarm that she had set for work had gone off. She was so used to her normal routine, that she had got out of bed and began to get her breakfast ready. She was halfway through eating her cardboard tasting cereal when it suddenly dawned on her that she didn’t need to get ready. She finished eating her cereal and got her phone from the bedroom and sent a text.
“Enjoyed last night, just what the doctor ordered ;) see you soon. X”
She put down her phone and went back to bed. Samantha awoke at around 10am and wondered what to do with her day. She decided to watch a bit of TV and then would start the hunt for a new job. She picked up her phone, no new messages. She put on her dressing gown and went to sit on the sofa and turned on whatever trash was on TV. She scrolled through and in the end decided to stick with a recap of the night's events on ‘The Group’. Samantha realised it was trash TV but she found that in its mindless entertainment she could lose herself in the fake world they lived in. The fact that it always made her feel a bit better about herself to have not stooped that low like these people was probably another reason it enticed.
She carried on watching until she felt her phone vibrate. She picked it up in haste, hoping it was Ryan. It wasn’t, it was Ruby.
“Hi hun, sorry to hear about what happened yesterday. Missing you. XXX”
She felt an emotion she hadn’t expected to feel, regret. It wasn’t the job she missed but the commoradary and the socialising more than anything else. She typed back.
“Yeah it's a shame but everything happens for a reason, right? I’m sure we will catch up soon. X”
She thought to herself that she probably would never catch up with Ruby unless she was completely desperate. Ruby just wanted all the gossip to pass back to the firm and she was not about to give her ammunition.
While the phone was in her hand, Samantha decided to scroll through jobs in the area. Her mind was intrigued by a few advertising for an administrator, a receptionist and a PA. She created them in a new tab on her phone and made a mental note to study them later. Samantha sunk into the sofa and thought that maybe, just maybe, this was a good thing to happen to her in the circumstances. She put the phone on the corner of the sofa and as soon as she did, she felt it vibrate again. She picked it up and saw on the screen it was a message from Ryan. Her heart leapt and she sat up straight as she read the text.
“Yeah, it was great, glad you’re feeling better. Can we meet later?”
Samantha felt so happy she felt like doing an awkward jig. She had not seen Ryan in consecutive days since they first started dating. She wondered if he had felt how passionate last night was and maybe realised how good they were together. She instantly replied, so quick that her fingers could barely keep up with what she wanted to type.
