Rock Redemption #3: Rock Revenge Trilogy, page 11
“Oh, really? So, that’s why I hugged Simon and cried with him?”
“You didn’t.”
“I did. I think he was as shocked as you are right now. Probably more so. Hey, I only have one best friend. I’m also pretty sure she’s my only best friend ever, at least since I was making note of it.” Lila smiled and rubbed underneath her suddenly shiny eyes. “So, I get to cry when I’m scared for her.”
Margo sniffled. “Hell yes, you do. And you also get to hug me again.”
Lila rose and they clung to each other, laughing and crying and then laughing some more. They hung on even when the door opened.
“Margo? What’s wrong?” Simon rushed around the bed to her other side and forcibly pried her from Lila, who watched him with a mix of amusement and affection. “She’s crying,” he said to Lila, as if it was all her fault.
“Looks like they’re both crying.” Nicky came up behind Li and circled his arms around her waist. “I’m guessing they were just discussing how wonderful their husbands are and ways they can bring us untold pleasure. Serve your king, baby.”
Lila elbowed him so hard he coughed and laughed as he rubbed his ribs.
Margo had to laugh. Even Simon’s concerned expression tickled her funny bone, and that didn’t make sense. The poor guy had been through the wringer.
Crying with Lila. She still couldn’t wrap her head around that one.
“Nothing’s wrong.” Well, she couldn’t say that exactly, could she? But things right now were better than they’d been recently, that was for damn sure. “Just girl talk. Which, no, you are not privy to, either of you. Don’t you have someone else to hover around for a few minutes?”
Simon’s injured expression instantly made her feel about ten inches tall.
“I didn’t mean—”
“Actually, it’s my turn to hover. I barely got to see you.” Nicky stepped around Lila, giving her a sidelong look as if he expected her to strike out at him like a hissing cat.
Margo figured he was wise to be on guard. Lila did not look amused.
Nicky grabbed the stool and wheeled it closer to the head of the bed. “Be gone, people. Give us five.”
Simon frowned. “If Margo’s tired—”
“Margo can say so.” Margo reached up to tug Simon down to her by a handful of his hair. She rubbed at the tension lines between his brows. “I’m fine. I promise. Stop worrying.”
He nodded and gave her a quick kiss. “Okay. I’ll be right outside.”
Lila arched a brow. “Am I being dismissed too?”
“Yes. But with love.” Nicky grabbed her hand and kissed it, and though she tugged it away, she couldn’t hide her smile.
“Fine. You deal with him for five minutes and see what I put up with.” But she wrapped her arms around Nicky’s shoulders and kissed the side of his head. “Jerk.”
“See how she fawns over me? It’s amazing I can still function with my…ego so large.”
Simon slugged Nicky in the arm on his way out the door and held it open for Lila. “I should’ve warned you about him. Sorry.”
“Yes, a little late there. But I have my ways of evening the score.” Lila turned and smiled at Margo. “See you soon. We have to talk about the tour.”
Margo flipped her off. Lila laughed and shut the door behind them.
“She’s so Zen now compared to the old days.” Margo shook her head. “Love mellows us all, doesn’t it?” She tilted her head at Nicky. “You’re still a dick though.”
“I wear that compliment as a badge of pride.”
“You would. And you’re such a dick you came in here to make sure I’m okay with your own eyes. Because you know better than anyone, if something happened to me, Simon would be at your doorstep.” She tried to make her voice light, but that possibility felt realer now than it ever had before.
Talk about a mortality check.
“He’s my brother. That he has a real one now doesn’t change that.”
“Ian is no more his brother than you are,” she said gently. “You know just as I do that love is stronger than anything, even blood.”
“Yeah.” Nicky swiveled the stool and kicked out his legs. “I don’t have something pithy and meaningful to say.”
“Good. Me either. I kind of just want everything to go back to normal.”
“Jesus, me too. But I feel like I need to say something. Because nothing is normal. Nothing has been since the day that kid showed his face on TV.”
“Their mother is twisted. Did you know her at all?”
Nicky shook his head. “Nah. She was gone before I knew Simon that well. I mean, I knew of him, since we lived on the same block. But not like I knew him later.” Nicky rubbed the five o’clock shadow growing in on his jaw. “This whole thing is fucking crazy pants.”
Margo laughed and shimmied back down in the bed—carefully—so she could lay her head on the pillow. Turned out Simon was right to be concerned if she was tired. Her energy level was nonexistent. “That’s a nice way of putting it.”
“My dad was a waste of space after my mom split. Completely zoned out and on drugs most of the time. Useless. When he wasn’t zoned out, he was fucking with our heads or getting my sister to smoke weed with him. A real piece of work. But this is next level shit.”
“Accurate.” She couldn’t have put it any better herself. “She asked me not to keep her from the baby.”
Nick shifted to stare at her. “You’re fucking joking. She kidnaps you, binds you, and asks for grandchild visitation?”
It sounded so ridiculous she wanted to laugh. Or cry. “Yes.”
“Did you tell her to go fuck herself with a spoon?”
His outraged response made her laugh despite the tears lurking yet again. “Since she had me in chains at the time, I didn’t think that would be prudent.”
“Jesus Christ. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But if anyone had to, I’m glad it was you.”
She wasn’t drifting off, not exactly. But that remark certainly woke her all the way back up. “Excuse me?”
“You’re so strong. You can handle it.”
“No, I’m not that strong.” Her voice wavered. “Completely the opposite.”
“No? Look at you. You’re just as tough as I’ve ever seen you. Crying doesn’t have a damn bit to do with it. There’s nothing fucking wrong with crying. But this woman didn’t break you. She couldn’t. You’ve lived with Simon for years. She is not that skilled.”
She laughed weakly through her tears. “Are you saying this stuff to try to get me angry at you, so I don’t think about the rest?”
“Maybe. Is it working?” His smile came and went. “You’re going to think about it, and that fucking sucks. There’s nothing I can do, or Li can do, or Simon can do to take away those awful memories. But we can help you build new ones that make those fade. And we can love you and support you and throw you one hell of a baby shower. Not me,” he added quickly when Margo smiled and reached for his hand. “Because I surely don’t do that shit. But I’m sure Li will be all over it.”
“Going to be a bit for that. It’s early days yet. Can I have a hug?”
She’d never seen his face soften that way. At least not toward her. He nodded and stood to lean over the bed, doing the heavy lifting of the hug so she could just lie there and absorb. She needed every ounce of love she could get right now, and she wasn’t ashamed to admit it.
“Thanks. You give good hug.”
“I give good other things too, but I’m sure you’ve already heard.” He eased back with a grin. Again, it was fleeting, so she knew he was struggling with this conversation just as much as she was.
They’d been in a band together for years, and the fact that Li was her best friend and Simon was his had given them lots of opportunities to spend time together. But they’d never been buddies. Not exactly. This was probably the longest conversation they’d had in years, if not ever. Definitely the most personal.
And it was about to get way worse.
“Sit for another second. Please.”
“What, I can’t run out of here before things get too emotional?”
She smiled and didn’t say anything as he took a seat.
“I know you and Simon have had your rough patches over the years. I also know how hard they were on you. But I want you to know they were hard on him too. He just shows things differently than you do. Or doesn’t show them at all, sometimes not even to me.”
Nicky waved a hand. “Water under the bridge. All good now.”
“Yeah, I know that. You guys came through it and the band came through it and we’re all so much stronger. But something may happen again.”
“You have insider information that I don’t?”
“No. I’m just saying. That’s life,” she said, echoing Lila. “People fight over dumb stuff and egos and pride get involved and relationships get messed up. We all lose so much time.”
Which reminded her—she needed to talk to her sister. Soon. Just not quite yet.
When she’d been more lucid, she realized that Jules had been through so much in the past year, and with the baby, the last thing her sister needed was more to worry about. Margo was back, and she and her baby were safe. Though she’d gone through a horrific event, thankfully it had been brief.
Someday she’d tell Jules what had happened. But now now. There was too much living for her little sister to do to burden her with one more thing to make her scared and uncertain. She’d only just begun to get her footing back after last fall’s tragedy. She had a baby to think about now.
Margo cupped her belly. As did she.
“We do. I lost years with my sister I’ll never get back. But if I think about all that shit, I’ll go crazy.” Nicky leaned forward and loosely linked his hands. “If this is about Simon and Ian—”
“No. Not directly anyway. Simon’s figuring out his way there. It’s going to take time for him, but he’s his brother and he’s going to have to live with that one way or another.” As Nicky started to speak, she held up a hand. “I know you hate the guy. I wasn’t a fan of him myself.”
“But now that he helped to have you kidnapped, you’re embracing him?”
“Hardly. I just have a different perspective after meeting his—their—mother. And after talking to Ian himself. If he’s lying about being filled with remorse, then I must have no bullshit-detecting skills at all. And I know that isn’t true.”
“He’s a con artist. Con artists are skilled at what they do. He may be running a com still.”
“If he is a con artist, he had little choice. He was dealt a rough hand. His mother compared him and Simon for years, and he never came out on the winning side. Then he was dragged into going after Simon. Not saying he wasn’t an idiot and didn’t make a ton of mistakes. But he was a boy. He’s barely more than that now.”
“I think impending motherhood has made you go soft.”
“Maybe. If I’m wrong, it’ll become apparent, won’t it? How many people are watching Ian like a hawk now? He won’t get to jaywalk without being caught. Besides, do you really think anyone is going to get through Simon’s wall of guards? Our house is going to be rigged like freaking Buckingham Palace.”
It made her sad to think of the place she already loved with that sweet swing turning into a fortress, but for now—until she and Simon made it all the way through to the other side of this—it was necessary. She couldn’t deny liking the idea of a few extra layers of protection between her and Mrs. Kagan, just in case. Even if she was locked away.
“True. I’m thinking Simon is going to add some guards disguised as session musicians when we go back on stage.”
“He’ll probably try.” She shifted toward Nicky and tried to hide her grimace. Yes, judging from her achy body, she needed another nap. Soon. “I haven’t discussed this with Simon yet, so I’m taking a leap. He’ll want this though, I’m almost sure. I should probably wait until we can do it together, but I don’t like waiting for anything anymore. For obvious reasons.”
“Spit it out, Kagan.”
Hearing him call her that made her smile. “Will you and Li be our baby’s godparents?”
Nicky blinked. Blinked again. “Well, duh.”
Her smile widened before she took a breath and pressed on. “This is the harder part. And might seem weird, but I have to ask. Just in case. I know you’d do it anyway—”
“Margo.”
“If anything ever happens to me, you’ll take care of Simon, right?” She didn’t expect her voice to give way. Not just break, but completely falter so that she had to clutch her blanket and haul in air to get it back. “I know you would, I know it, but please. Just promise me. You won’t let him be alone.”
Nicky didn’t answer so she finally gave in and looked at him. His eyes were red and he cleared his throat before he reached out to grip her hand. “Not while there’s breath in my body.”
She shut her eyes to hold in her tears as she squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”
“And same goes. If something happens to me, you’ll take care of Li. You promise.”
“I promise.” She made herself open her eyes and focus on his. “While there’s breath in my body.”
“So, it’s a deal.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a rough laugh. “Okay, I’m going to go now, before your husband comes in here and drags me out for upsetting his wife.” He rose and cupped her shoulders, pressing a kiss on top of her head. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to him. Even better than me, and that’s saying a lot.”
Margo laughed and pushed him away. A moment later, the door closed behind him.
The door opened again immediately and Simon poked his head inside. “Can I come in?”
She laughed again. He must’ve paid off everyone to get such open-ended visitation times. “Yes. I missed you.” She wiggled over in bed and whisked back the blanket and sheet. “Lower that guard and make room for yourself in here.”
He grinned for the first time since she’d been back. “Consider it done, Violin Girl.”
Twelve
“Let us out here, please.” I sounded as if I’d smoked five packs of Winstons a day for the past year.
Swallowing hurt. Speaking hurt.
I hurt.
My driver Frank didn’t balk, nor did he joke, which was rare for him. We weren’t buddies yet, but we weren’t enemies either. With my current track record, anything other than physical violence or threats of death felt like a hug.
Not that I didn’t deserve what was coming to me. It was just harder to accept the coldness from all directions than I’d even guessed.
Especially when it came to the woman sitting beside me in the back seat of the car, her gaze fixated out the window and her hands tightly clasped in her lap.
“Whatever you say, boss. You need a pickup?”
I started to say no—wishful thinking, really, since the graffiti on the wall said all I needed to know—when Zoe interrupted.
“Give him two hours,” she said quietly, not looking at me.
“There you have it.” I tried to sound cheerful, for no reason I could discern.
Just another mask I wore. Anyone could see the marks on my throat or hear the rasp in my voice. I couldn’t hide those realities any more than I could pretend Zoe was shooing me out because she was tired and wanted some sleep.
She wanted a rest, all right, but it wouldn’t be improved with eight hours of shuteye.
Frank flashed me a glance in the rearview mirror. It was rife with pity. “I’ll be back.” His soft promise was nearly enough to make me bow my head in gratitude.
I’d be riding back to my motel, but at least I wouldn’t be alone.
Not entirely.
I trailed Zoe inside without making any of my usual comments about security or the nearness of the beach or anything else. None of that was appropriate.
What was appropriate between us now, other than goodbye?
She tapped her code into the keypad and we walked up the hallway in the same silence we’d entered the building with. She unlocked her door and stepped inside, almost immediately undoing her hair from its braids. Thick rivulets of blond and purple hair spilled down her back as she moved toward her small kitchenette. She opened the refrigerator and took out a jug of sweet tea before pouring some into a glass. Then she reached into a cupboard for a bottle of Crystal Head vodka.
Since she’d never before served me alcohol, I could tell this conversation was going to be a doozy.
“I saw you holding a bottle of this in one of the many pictures of you that surfaced online.” She traced the glass skull with an odd sort of detachment. “I wanted to try it, to see what it tastes like. That’s been a problem for me with you since the start. Glass?”
“Please.” I would’ve preferred to swig it straight from the bottle, but I feared I wouldn’t be able to swallow—and not just because of my brother’s penchant for trying to kill me.
She took a glass down for me and set it down without pouring my drink. Instead of doing the honors myself, I just clutched the skull against my belly, probably looking as if I was a boy in search of comfort. It wasn’t far from the truth.
“I’m sorry. You’ll never know how sorry I am.”
She didn’t speak for a while, just stood and sipped and stared off into the distance. “I believe you,” she said finally. “You didn’t want to hurt me.”
The slight question in her statement nearly broke me. “No. God, no. I would hurt myself a million times over rather than even risk hurting you.”
“Which you did. You could have come clean to me and alleviated your burden at the very least. But that’s what you do, right? Drown in the pain, make the guilt part of your DNA.”
“It was my burden,” I corrected. “And I wouldn’t have come clean to you and made you complicit in what I was involved in. You’re too good to be sullied by the likes of me.”
