Rock Redemption #3: Rock Revenge Trilogy, page 10
“You’re right, I don’t know everything yet. I’m sure Simon is holding back what he thinks I can’t handle right now. But I know enough. I know things even he doesn’t. I saw that woman, Ian. She touched me and she scared the living fucking hell out of me. You endured that all alone for so many years, didn’t you?”
I shut my eyes. “She’s my mum.”
“She’s your mother, but you aren’t what she told you that you were. She’s obsessed with Simon.” Even with my eyes closed, I felt her tremor shift the bed. “In a very unhealthy way.”
“Yes. She always has been. He’s far better than me—”
“Ian.”
I opened my eyes and nearly broke from the compassion in hers.
“She doesn’t know the real Simon any more than she knows you. He’s a piece of fiction for her. I know you can’t get that because you spent every day with her, but I saw it for myself.”
“She had to leave him and then she had to raise me. I was always the thorn in her side. The other son. The one she would’ve swapped for him in a heartbeat.” I bowed my head. “At the end, she didn’t want me even as a trading piece.”
“It’s not reality. You’re not seeing that. The Simon she’s created—that’s not the real man.” Margo exhaled. “I love my husband. Love him more than I have words to say. But she’s not seeing the Simon who exists. The very flawed man who I love for his faults as much as his strengths.”
I swallowed hard and leaned forward, gripping the rail on the side of the bed. “He’s right to be angry at me. To wish me dead. If you’d seen him when you were gone... He was broken. Lost without you and your wee one.” I looked at her stomach, covered in a soft white blanket. “The baby is okay?”
She nodded and for the first time, her composure wavered. “Tough Reece and Kagan genes.”
“I’m so glad. I was so worried for you and the baby. I never knew. I swear, I didn’t. I would never have allowed it to go as far as it did if I had.”
“Simon hasn’t told me much, but I gathered that you’re the one who stopped it.”
“Far too late.”
“You didn’t know what they had in mind, but you tried to end your involvement.”
“Yes. It just wasn’t enough. She threatened Zoe. I never guessed she’d go for you. I thought Simon and you were safe. But she would hurt Zoe just to get back at me.”
“She didn’t hurt me. Well, beyond the initial crash. And her goons tossing me around and having me shackled and creeping me the fuck out more than once.” Margo picked at her blanket. “Guess you aren’t the only one who’s in denial, huh?”
I reached for her hand. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to take your place. I would have in an instant. You didn’t deserve—”
“Get your hands off her. Now.” My brother’s voice was like ice.
If ice had a form and was sharp enough to kill.
I let her go and sat back. The cocky smile came to my face automatically though the tears still hovered too close. “I had longer than I expected.”
“Simon, don’t. Don’t make a scene. It’s not what you think.”
Simon came around the bed to Margo’s other side, and he reached for her hand. “You have until the count of three before I call security in here and get your punk ass thrown out of this hospital. I was being charitable even letting you stay. And the minute I turn my back, you do this?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to cause upset. I just wanted—”
“You wanted. Do you understand this isn’t about you?”
I rose. “That’s where you’re wrong. It’s always been about you. I’m just finally taking my place at the table.” I moved to the door, then turned back to look at Margo. “Thank you for speaking with me. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. Take care of yourself and your little one.”
I stepped into the hall and bumped into Roth’s men, who stared down at me as if they’d seen more impressive bugs. “I’ll be leaving now.” I tipped my hand toward them and pushed past them, half expecting them to grab my arm and strip-search me for God knows what reason.
But they let me go.
After stopping off for a piss and to make sure my eyes didn’t look as ravaged as they felt, I returned to the waiting room. Margo and Simon’s family and friends shifted toward me, their expressions accusing.
What did you do now, Ian?
It wasn’t voiced aloud, but I heard the question just the same.
In the center of it all was Zoe.
My Zoe.
I went to her, gripping her hands to tug her to her feet. “Are you hungry?”
She shook her head. “Where did you go?”
I darted a glance at Lila and Nick, who were by far the two most dangerous to my safety among the assembled group. I couldn’t even be sure which would be first to strike.
“Let’s talk elsewhere.”
“I just bet you want to talk elsewhere. Afraid you’ll be overheard?” Lila shook her head. “You never quit, do you?”
“I’m not afraid of being overheard. I’ll take out a billboard if it suits you. I spoke to my sister-in-law.”
Lila clenched her jaw. “You’re not to go near Margo. Haven’t you done enough?”
“Luckily for me, she’s far more kind than you are.” I glanced at Zoe. “I need some air.”
For a moment, I almost expected her to tell me to just go.
I’d been waiting for those words to come. Yet she was still with me. But I wasn’t fool enough to believe that meant she’d stick.
Zoe turned her back on her cousin. “Me too.”
She didn’t balk when I took her hand as we walked out of the waiting room. She held on even as we stepped into the lift and I pressed the button for the lobby.
When we stepped off, she let go.
And I knew this awful night wasn’t done with me yet.
Eleven
Margo turned her head on the pillow, expecting to see Simon. He’d been a fixture at her side since the moment he’d laid eyes on her again. She didn’t know how long it had been since she’d talked to Ian, but she’d drifted in and out for hours.
Maybe longer. Time had no relevance now.
Every time, Simon had been with her, murmuring softly. Once or twice, she’d awakened to him singing.
God, she couldn’t wait until she heard happiness or amusement or anything other than worry and sorrow in his voice. Her heart broke a little with every crack and rasp.
They’d talked a little bit. He’d answered her questions—most of them anyway. And he’d tried to make her smile. To not hurt with every breath.
She was getting there physically. Emotionally would come too. It would just be a process.
All of this was.
But he wasn’t there this time. Instead, Lila sat on the stool beside her bed.
The moment their gazes locked, both started to sniffle.
But rather than Lila starting off the way Margo assumed, she pointed an accusing finger. “You’re pregnant.”
Margo swallowed. “Yes.”
She still was. Thank God. Her baby was a fierce little thing.
How could he or she be anything else with her and Simon for parents?
“The baby is okay?”
Margo nodded. “As far as they can tell, he or she is just fine.” She rubbed her belly and fought to keep the tears in her eyes from falling. She’d cried so much lately and she was tired of it. “My kid is a fighter.”
“Just like her mama. Or just like his mama. You don’t know which yet? Or is that a secret too?”
Margo bit her lip at the slight hint of censure in her best friend’s voice. “I didn’t tell you.”
“No. And that’s why I pointed at you, because I’ve never really had a best friend before as an adult, but I’d swear that’s in the fine print of the contract.”
Margo had to laugh. “I’ve never had a best friend before either. Probably not even as a kid. It seemed like a big commitment.”
“It is. A huge one.” Lila’s normally even voice cracked. “Because when your best friend gets kidnapped, you feel like your heart is breaking while simultaneously wanting to strangle anyone who could have hurt her.”
It was Margo’s turn to point at Lila, sniffling all the while. “Do not get me started again, all right? I’ve shed enough tears for a lifetime since that accident.”
“It wasn’t an accident.”
“No. Not even close.”
Lila reached over and took her hand. “I’m not going to ask you to relive any of it. No promises you won’t be asked by others though. That’s for the Roth team and their men to try to put the pieces together for the police regarding Simon’s mother.”
Margo couldn’t stop her shudder. “Li, she’s seriously unbalanced.”
“Since she helped organize this whole thing, yes, I have to agree.”
“No, even beyond the whole mastermind thing. People do crazy stuff for money, and that’s bad enough. And this was really nuts, I know. But I spoke to her and she’s completely batshit.” She gripped Li’s cold fingers to give herself something to focus on. “I’ve only told Simon bits and pieces so far.”
“Because he can’t handle it,” Lila said gently.
“It’s all so raw. For him. For me.” Margo released a long breath. “We’ve been through a lot, and we’ve always come through it stronger. I don’t know how, but we have. But this—”
“You’ve already started the process of coming through it. That his mother is one of the people who harmed you makes it harder, but not impossible.”
“That’s just it. She didn’t harm me.” Margo tipped back her head on the pillow. The lights were bothering her eyes, so she closed them.
She also didn’t want to see the empathy reflected in her best friend’s expression. It was hard enough remembering what she’d gone through without dealing with Lila’s sympathy.
Probably because she was drowning in so much emotion of her own.
“I woke up shackled to a bed.”
“Oh, Margo.”
“It was as awful as you think. Wrists, ankles. Not painfully, if I didn’t move much. But it was hard staying still and the room was pitch black. I didn’t feel good from the accident and I was hungry and scared shitless. But somehow it was almost worse when Simon’s mother came. She looks just like him.” Margo swallowed hard. “Just like Ian. All three of them are like creepy dolls manufactured in the same perfect image.”
Lila’s soft laughter surprised Margo into opening her eyes. And somehow she managed to laugh too.
“Don’t let your husband hear you say that. I think Mr. Narcissist Rockstar Model might get offended.”
Margo brushed her hair away from her face, the line from the IV a tactile reminder of exactly where she was. And why. “Simon is far from creepy. He’s the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen. And Ian’s right behind him. It’s just they’re spitting images of her. I’ve never seen such close reproductions from a parent to her children in all my life.”
“Wait until you see what your baby looks like. You may discover the line continues. Strong DNA.” Lila’s eyes were still wet, but mirth sparkled underneath the tears.
“Now I’m thinking about those nesting dolls and getting the heebie-jeebies.” She shuddered again. “Simon and Ian may not be creepy, but their mother? Jesus. I don’t have words enough to describe her. She’s obsessed with Simon.”
Lila nodded gravely. “From what I’ve heard, that is probably what saved your life.”
Margo bit her lip. Part of her wanted to demand answers. The rest had deduced enough on her own. Simon had answered a few of her questions. The most important ones, like was his mother still alive.
She was. Others were not, like the men who’d wanted to hurt her.
To hurt them.
But she didn’t want to think any more about her brush with death. Not now. Not today.
She wanted to think about living.
“Simon and I didn’t want children. You know that. It wasn’t in our plans. We have no clue how to raise a baby. I mean, Simon himself was pretty much a child until I came along. That he was fully grown doesn’t change facts.”
“Most adult males are still children. Adult male rockstars are even worse.”
“True enough. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t know what to think. I was scared he wouldn’t want it. Not because he wouldn’t try. But his past was so fucked up. As fucked up as mine was, his made it look like a parade every single day with ponies and balloons.”
“Yes. You know Nick was the same. Part of why they bonded so strongly. That horrible background they endured shaped them, but it didn’t define them. Somehow they still grew into the men we love.”
“Yes.” Margo smiled until the wetness in her eyes dissipated. “But he does want the baby. He wants it so much. Just as I do. And when I thought I might lose him or her—”
“Shh.” Lila stood and wrapped her arms around Margo. “You know you don’t have to explain anything to me. I had the same worries about Nick. And shock of all shocks, he ended up not even only wanting our girls, but wanting more. Ones I may not be able to have.” Lila eased back and smiled, but there was no missing the tightness around her eyes. “So, you never know. Simon may want a houseful.”
“No, on that score, we’re agreed. This is our one. We’re so happy about the baby, but just…one.” Margo squeezed Li’s hand. “What do you mean you may not be able to have them?”
“This isn’t about me.”
“Right, because I haven’t talked about myself for a lifetime and a half lately. God forbid I’m distracted for even a second.”
Lila sighed and sat back on the stool, her fingers still laced with Margo’s. “I’m probably just worrying for nothing. Actually, I wondered if you already knew. If that’s why you didn’t tell me you were pregnant.”
“Knew what? I didn’t know anything. We didn’t tell anyone about the baby yet because we had the tour and—”
“And that’s even worse. Seriously, do you think I put the band over a child?”
Margo couldn’t help laughing. “At times, I’ve been sure you’d put the band over your own life, never mind a child.”
Lila shook her head, but she laughed too. “Okay, yes, I’m rather militant when it comes to the band. I admit it. But I’d never put a tour schedule above your pregnancy. Things can always be renegotiated. Besides, it’s not like I don’t have plenty of practice juggling schedules around babies when it comes to this band. Hell, all of my bands. That’s just life, isn’t it?” Her laughter subsided. “I wish I had the same problem myself right now. Just not six months of twin-induced bedrest, please. But one lovely baby? That would be perfect.”
Margo shifted toward her best friend and winced as pain shot up her hip. Overall, she felt mostly okay, minus a few random aches and pains. Except every now and then that random one slashed through her like a blade.
Right now, that mattered not at all.
“I didn’t know anything, I swear. I didn’t not tell you to spare your feelings, though I have to admit it would have occurred to me if I had known. I’m so sorry, Li. I had no idea you were even trying.”
“Yes, and I can’t blame you for keeping secrets when I do the same.” Lila picked at a thread on Margo’s blanket. “It hasn’t even been all that long really.”
“How long?”
“Just since Christmas. It’s not as if it’s a daily practice either. Just every other daily usually.”
“Um, that much isn’t necessary for procreation. Also, I’m jealous.”
“It is still Nick we’re talking about. He likes his practice time too. And you have nothing to be jealous about, and we both know it.” Lila grinned. “Probably half of southern LA knows it too. That penthouse of yours isn’t soundproofed, is it?”
“Oh my God. The house.” Margo lifted her free hand to her mouth. “I was going to the house the day of the accident. We were—are going to buy it. But he hasn’t even mentioned it, and with everything going on, I didn’t even think about it since I’ve been here.”
“A house? You two?” Lila let out a low whistle. “Okay, you definitely win in the keeping secrets category. Spill.”
“It was Simon’s idea. Once he knew I was pregnant, he started going all out. Buying the books and the nursery furniture and the whole nine yards. I think he stole one of Nick’s books though first.”
“Nicholas has plenty. He’s had on the job training for years now, so he can share. Aww, that’s so sweet. So much for him not wanting the baby, huh?”
“I know. He surprised me in all the best ways. Then he mentioned wanting a house. A real house for her to grow up in and—” Margo stopped and shook her head. “We both keep slipping and calling the baby her. I don’t know if it’s wishful thinking or a Freudian slip or what.”
“Sure there aren’t two hers in there? Absolutely positive?”
“You sound as if you’re channeling Nick now. That’s his kind of statement.”
“He does rub off.”
“Uh huh. No. There’s just one. I’m quite certain. Anyway, we did some looking around and this one place in Santa Monica stood out. It’s so perfect, Li. Not some cold and sterile place like my parents would pick out. It feels like a home. Like it could be our home.”
Saying nothing, Lila gripped her hand that much harder.
“It has a tree swing in back. Somehow I think that was one of the biggest selling points for both of us. Good school district, nice amenities, seems like decent neighbors, yadda, yadda. But that swing represented everything we didn’t have in our childhoods and want to give our kid.” Margo let out a long breath. “Sounds hokey, doesn’t it?”
“No, it sounds wonderful. It sounds as if your baby is so very loved, as he or she should be. And it sounds as if you both willed that baby to survive, no matter what was thrown at the two of you. You and the baby in this case, though it applies to you and Simon as well.”
Margo swallowed hard. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being there. For calling me right before the accident—when I was on the way to look at our house one more time. As if I thought it’d disappear like a mirage. Along with thinking of Simon, I thought of you too. Imagined you being so utterly annoyed at this whole situation for getting everything off track, but ultimately, so cool and collected that you’d keep everything running smoothly. You’d always be level-headed, no matter what.”
