Just Date and See, page 23
‘What?’
‘My cousin had been staying with me, visiting friends at the uni before they go home for Christmas,’ he replies. ‘How old are you, that you can’t tell twenty-year-olds apart and not realise you’re seeing the same one?’
Oh, God, I feel mortified.
‘Hey, come on, don’t feel bad,’ Kenny insists. ‘Sometimes we see what we want to see, or what we really don’t want to see, but you know now. The only girl who isn’t related to me – because some of us prefer that – who has been here is Jess. I really like her, Billie. I’m not messing her around. If anyone is going to hurt anyone, it’s going to be her hurting me, when she leaves after Christmas.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I insist. ‘More sorry by the minute. I’ve had you all wrong, all this time.’
‘I’m sorry if you feel like Declan left you because of me,’ he says sincerely. ‘But if he saw me, miserable, drinking every night, and thought that seemed like a great life, then maybe I did you a favour. And at least he’s going to sign the house over to you.’
‘Yeah, we’ll – wait, how do you know that?’
‘Because I told him to,’ Kenny replies. ‘We had a heart-to-heart. I told him what I went through with Beth, when she left. The house was mine; I’d bought it before we got married, but I had to buy her out. I had to quite literally work overtime to do it. I told him not to be that guy, who put you through what I went through. He didn’t take much convincing, to be honest, he’s a crap boyfriend, but he’s not a total arsehole. Just a bit of one.’
Kenny smiles. I’m speechless.
‘Anyway, I told him I’d represent him, so you’re going to need to find your own conveyancer,’ he continues. ‘But it’s still my weird Christmas gift to you, in a way.’
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m throwing myself at Kenny, flinging my arms around him, squeezing him tightly.
‘Thank you,’ I tell him, my voice catching in my throat as tears prickle my eyes. ‘I can’t thank you enough.’
I think until this moment, just now, I had still been worried that Declan might not be being straight with me, or might not have been in a position to do what he said he would, but I feel like Kenny being on his side makes all the difference. It feels real. My house is going to be mine again.
How is it possible I’ve had Kenny so, so wrong all this time? I think he’s right. We see what we want to see, or, more accurately, don’t want to see, and what I didn’t want to see was a man doing to a woman what my dad did to my mum, and what Declan did to me. And what Rocco is doing to his wife too. But Kenny has shown me that they’re not all bad. Jess may have actually found herself a good one, for the first time.
‘Kenny, would you like to spend Christmas Day with us?’ I ask him.
He laughs.
‘I thought I already was?’
‘Yes, but I didn’t want you there before, now I do,’ I say with a smile.
‘I’d love to,’ he replies. ‘Fancy hanging out here for another fifteen minutes or so before we head back? Give things chance to calm down?’
‘That would be great,’ I reply. ‘Thanks for everything, you’re my knight in shining armour.’
‘Nah,’ he says with a casual bat of his hand. ‘I’m just the guy who is going to do the paperwork.’
I know it sounds kind of sad – more so because it’s my sister’s man – but Kenny has given me hope that there are still good guys out there, and maybe I can find one. Forget the ones in my house, eating my food, ruining my Christmas. There will be other guys, and plenty of time.
It’s just such a shame, though, because with Declan I knew things weren’t great, even when we were together, but I thought comfortable was as good as it got, and that expecting something closer to perfection just wasn’t realistic. But then I met Rocco and he seemed so right for me. I think that one’s going to take a bit longer to accept, but cheating repulses me to my core, and if that’s the kind of man he is, then he isn’t who I thought he was.
It’s so stupid, how I feel more upset over losing someone who I’ve known for days, versus Declan who I knew for years. Looking back, I think it was the hurt of being abandoned, the way it made me look at myself differently, wondering what was wrong with me – coupled with the logistics of breaking up with someone I owned a house with – that made it feel so spectacular. Somehow, with Rocco it hurts even more, because it really felt like we had the potential to have something truly great.
And now I have to go back home and face all of it, but at least I have Kenny on my side, and Jess, and Mum – even Dad. I might have lost Gail, briefly, but I’ve won her over before, I’ll do it again.
Okay, here we go, time to face the music. Wish me luck.
34
Back in my living room, the tension is unbearable. Dinner has been cleared from the table but, instead of Christmas pudding, the only thing on offer is an intervention. Well, that’s what Jess and I keep calling it but Gail, our resident therapist, keeps correcting us.
‘This isn’t an intervention, this is a circle of truth,’ Gail explains. ‘And this is a truth stick. This family needs to heal.’
‘That’s not a truth stick, it’s a wooden spoon,’ Declan says with a snort. ‘Do I need to be here?’
‘He probably doesn’t need to be here,’ I chime in.
‘He’s your boyfriend,’ Gail reasons. ‘It might be good for him to be here.’
‘Declan’s not my boyfriend.’
‘Declan’s not her boyfriend.’
Jess and I both speak at the same time. I love that she always has my back.
‘Your dad said he was your boyfriend?’ Gail replies.
‘Yeah, that was a mistake,’ he tells her. ‘Ex-boyfriend.’
‘You said they owned the house together?’
‘Not for long,’ Declan adds. ‘Can I go? This happy-clappy stuff isn’t for me.’
‘You can go,’ I tell him. ‘Honestly, things like this just go so much easier without him.’
I wait until he’s left the room before I say the second part.
‘Wait, he isn’t your boyfriend?’ Rocco asks.
‘No,’ I reply. ‘We broke up over a year ago. Wait, did you think he was my boyfriend? Is that why you were mad at me?’
‘Wait, wait,’ Gail insists. ‘Hold the stick of truth. No one apart from me is allowed to talk without it. Who wants it?’
I grab it, before Rocco can.
‘Did you think I had a boyfriend?’ I ask him, then I turn to Gail. ‘Can he nod?’
‘Yes, okay, he can nod,’ she replies.
Rocco nods.
‘And that’s why you’ve been so mad at me today?’
He nods again.
‘Well, that’s highly hypocritical of you,’ I point out. ‘Considering you’re married.’
Mum gasps.
Gail reaches out to take the stick from me.
‘Rocco and I had a chat, while you were gone,’ she tells me. ‘I think he has something he needs to tell you.’
Rocco pulls a face at his mum.
‘Is this really the way to do this?’ he asks her.
‘This family needs to heal,’ she reminds him. ‘It all needs to come out, to everyone, right now.’
Rocco sighs as he takes the stick of truth.
‘I’m divorced,’ he says directly to me. ‘I’ve been divorced for a while, but I didn’t tell my mum because, well…’
Rocco gestures as if to say, ‘something like this would happen’.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Billie, but it felt weird to tell you when we’d just met, and before I’d told anyone in my family,’ he explains.
‘I was only mad at you because I thought you were still married,’ I point out. ‘I don’t care if you’re divorced. We’ve all got our baggage, look around the room.’
He smiles at me.
‘Stick me,’ I say to him, reaching out to take the spoon.
‘Again?’ Jess jokes.
Oof, too soon.
‘I’m also sorry for saying I didn’t get on with your mum,’ I tell him. ‘We had a heart-to-heart last night and we realised we were both being a little bit hostile.’
‘Give the stick to Dad,’ Jess insists. ‘Or Mum. We need answers.’
The only real question left on everyone’s lips is what on earth is going on with my mum and my dad.
‘Yeah, give it to me,’ Dad demands. ‘I’ll go first.’
I hand over the stick before glancing back over at Rocco.
‘Sorry,’ he mouths to me.
‘Me too,’ I reply.
‘Look, I know I’ve not been a great dad,’ he starts – we didn’t need a stick of truth for that. ‘I thought this Christmas could be a new start for us, to try and get back to being something like a family. The insurance did offer us a hotel room. I just thought it might be nice to stay here. I just want to build bridges.’
‘Bridges to our hot mum,’ Jess says under her breath.
Dad hands Mum the stick of truth.
‘Tell them, Katie,’ he says to Mum with an encouraging smile.
She smiles back at him as she takes the stick.
‘Girls, there’s no easy way to say this,’ she starts before taking a deep breath. ‘I have a boyfriend.’
‘You have a boyfriend?’ Jess squeaks back at her.
‘Bloody hell, Mum, I thought you were dying,’ I chime in. ‘A boyfriend is fine.’
‘And who is this boy?’ Jess asks, snapping into mum mode, which is cute.
‘Well, he’s not a boy, he’s a fifty-two-year-old man,’ Mum replies. ‘His name is Dennis, he’s a dentist.’
‘Dennis the dentist,’ I say.
‘Drilling our mum,’ Jess jokes.
‘Jess!’ Mum ticks her off. She gets serious again. ‘I really like him. I love him, actually. I hadn’t known how on earth I was going to tell you about him, but your dad encouraged me to, telling me that it would be fine, that you were both wonderful young ladies.’
‘Eggs and all,’ Dad jokes. That’s actually pretty funny.
‘We’ll meet him,’ Jess says. ‘Kick his tyres. Not in a keeping it in the family way, not like Billie and our brother.’
‘I’m taking back your Christmas present,’ I tell her. I dare to laugh, though, just a bit.
‘Is that everything out in the open now?’ Gail asks. No one says anything.
‘Oh, actually, I have one more thing,’ I say, taking the spoon. ‘Jess, I had Kenny all wrong, you were right, he is a good guy.’
‘Ha! I told you so,’ she replies.
We all fall silent again.
‘So, what now?’ Jess asks.
A few more seconds of silence.
‘Cuppa tea?’ Mum eventually says. ‘Bit of Christmas pudding?’
‘I’ll have a cup of tea,’ I reply.
‘Me too,’ Jess says. ‘I’ll call Kenny, see if he wants some pudding.’
‘I could definitely go for some Christmas pudding, I am starving,’ Rocco adds. ‘Someone ruined my dinner with my least favourite food.’
‘Sorry,’ I say again.
As everyone springs to life again, getting back to something close to a Christmas Day, I think we all feel lighter, after airing our dirty laundry at the dinner table, and straightening everything out.
As for the future, well, I’m not quite sure what any of this means for anyone, but I’m hopeful. For now, though, it’s Christmas. We can worry about all that in the new year.
35
20TH DECEMBER 2023
Quiet-ish Christmas 2023 has finally begun.
After a crazy Christmas last year, when all I wanted was to be left alone, all hell broke loose. This year, things are going to be different. This year, I’m going to get the nice, quiet Christmas I wanted last year. Well, sort of.
I can’t help but admire my Christmas tree. Like last year, I’ve chosen a theme for the decorations, but the main difference this year is that I’ve added in a few sentimental ornaments, which Mum distributed between herself, me and Jess, so we could all have a bit of nostalgia on our trees. And, after moving into her house in January, Mum used the bonus money from her house sale to go travelling with Dennis. They picked me up a Christmas decoration almost everywhere they went, so my tree is looking like a real adventure. It’s making me excited to have my own adventures someday, but not yet, I want to enjoy my house for a bit longer first.
I’ve spent some of the past year refreshing my décor, not because it needed it, just because I find it fun. Another reason why living here is suddenly much better is because last month, Jess moved in next door, with Kenny, who managed to graduate from being my least favourite neighbour to my favourite, with just one act of kindness.
Quiet Christmas 2023 starts today but it ends on the 24th, because I’ll be hosting Christmas dinner again – although intentionally this time, and I’ve invited Jess and Kenny to join us. Mum and Dennis will be joining us too, as will Dad and Gail. It’s been a better year with Dad. Any events we’ve celebrated, we’ve invited him over, so we’re spending more time together at least. And Gail is great. There’s a lot to be said for having a therapist in the family, although thankfully the stick of truth has stayed in the drawer over the past twelve months.
‘Quiet Christmas is great,’ Rocco starts. ‘But I’m pretty sure disco bowling is on tonight.’
I cuddle up closer to him on the sofa as I laugh at his joke.
‘Get Leila and Tobias on the phone, let’s do it,’ I kid.
‘I still can’t believe they’re getting married,’ Rocco says as he changes the channel.
‘Oh, I can believe it,’ I reply. ‘The day I saw her scream at him for knocking the scones on the floor, I knew they were destined to be wed.’
‘I was thinking of mentioning the scones – the truth about the scones – in my best man speech,’ he says. I’m sure he’s kidding.
‘Don’t you dare,’ I warn him.
‘Yeah, maybe you’re right,’ he says. ‘And maybe quiet Christmas is better than disco bowling. It’s nice, just the two of us.’
‘It’s our first Christmas in our home,’ I say. ‘I don’t want to share you with anyone. Christmas Day is my one exception.’
‘Well, that’s what my girl is going to get then,’ he replies. ‘Although I might need to give you your present the night before, if that’s the case.’
‘I can handle that,’ I tell him with a smile.
We kiss, but only for a few seconds, interrupted by a knock on the door.
‘Who is that?’ Rocco says as he heads for the door.
I jump to my feet and run after him.
‘Ooh, I hope it’s carol singers,’ I say excitedly. Rocco looks back at me for a moment.
‘What? I want a quiet Christmas, not a silent one,’ I inform him.
I cuddle up to Rocco as he opens the door but instead of carol singers, it’s a couple in their forties and four kids. The eldest kid has a dog on a lead, the smallest kid has a rabbit in his arms. The dog seems to really want to eat the rabbit for some reason. The only other thing I notice is the suitcases piled up behind them.
‘Hello, bro,’ the man says.
‘Michael, what are you doing here?’ Rocco asks him.
‘We thought we’d surprise Mum for Christmas, but she’s been decorating, so there’s no room for us,’ he replies. ‘She said she was spending Christmas here, so… any room at the inn for six small ones and a couple of pets?’
Rocco and I just stare at each other.
Well, here we go again…
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Huge thanks, as always to my wonderful editor, Nia, and to everyone at Boldwood Books for all of their continued hard work on my books. I can’t believe this is book number eleven!
Thank you so much (and a very merry Christmas) to all of the wonderful people who read and review my books. It means the world to me.
Massive thanks to my family – who I loved having at my house last Christmas, so please don’t read anything into this story, it’s not a hint. Thanks so much to the wonderful Kim – the reason you can never buy my paperbacks in my hometown – and to Pino for all their support. Thanks to the amazing Aud for always being so loving and supportive – I’m sure everyone says this, but I do actually have the best gran in the world. Super thanks to James and Joey, who always have my back, and help me endlessly. The same goes for Darcy, who helps me more than she realises.
Finally, thank you to my husband, Joe, for the endless love (and the endless DIY) and for putting up with me while I wrote not one but two Christmas books this year. I promise to get you a good present.
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Chapter One
You can’t put a price on finding love. If you could, it wouldn’t be £10.
I’ve been playing the dating game for a while now but I just can’t seem to complete it – and I’m usually so good at games. No matter which level I try, there’s always a hole to fall down or a monster to eat me – metaphorically speaking, of course, although with dating apps you only ever feel a few bad decisions away from ending up in someone’s freezer.
Recently I have been using an app called Matcher. You know the drill, swipe left or right on singles in your area, all the while hoping not to get connected with a murderer or, worse, someone who doesn’t know what punctuation is. All of my dates so far have ranged from pretty rubbish to monumentally awful. It’s safe to say that the date I’m on right now is one of the worst ones.
