A Tryst of Fate, page 1
A Tryst of Fate
A Xanth Novel
Piers Anthony
Chapter 1
Murder
Squid woke alone in her bed to a bright morning. She sat up as her awareness solidified.
For a good moment and a half, she froze in moderate horror. Had it all been an amazing dream? About her being the most important person in the universe, about finding the most awesome boyfriend ever?
No, it was real. But where was Chaos? The imprint of his host’s body remained beside hers; he had slept here. Well, Laurelai had slept here, but there must have been an hour of daylight when Chaos took over to join Squid on the bed. Chastely, as they were underage, unfortunately.
She had overslept. Chaos had elected not to disturb her when he was there. Not that anything he could do would disturb her as long as they remained a couple.
She got up, washed her tween-shaped body, swept her hair back into a ponytail—she did have real hair now, rather than a body painting of it—donned a decent dress, and considered herself in the mirror. She was distinctly ordinary, even for age twelve, with dull brown hair, gray eyes, and a turned-up nose. Of course, she could change her appearance, since it was not her natural one, but what was the point? Chaos liked her this way. That was all that really counted.
She left her room and went to the dining room. “Morning, sleepyhead!” It was the pet peeve, as dull for a bird as Squid was for a human.
“Morning, birdbrain,” she replied, relieved that at least this one remained on duty. “Where is everyone?”
“Outside enjoying the air, unwinding after the fine mess you got them into.”
“The fine mess I got them out of,” she said, knowing the bird was teasing her. It was the peeve’s custom to routinely insult everyone else.
“Eat your swill.” The peeve waved a wing at the table where a bowl of cereal awaited her.
She obeyed. Then it hit her: “Am I still the—”
“Yes, you are still the protagonist,” the peeve agreed. “I would have thought you’d be tired of it by now.”
“I am! I did my time. It is someone else’s turn. I just want to go find someone to hug and kiss, then sink into oblivion.”
“Lots of luck with that last, as long as you remain the story’s main character.”
“Grumble,” she muttered as she dissolved her teeth, rinsed out her mouth, and reformed them sparklingly clean.
She walked to the wall, gripped the inset ladder, and climbed up toward the upper deck. “Oooo! I can see your legs under that skirt, and your thighs,” the peeve called from below. “And that’s not all.”
“As if you cared, beak-nose,” she called back. “My panties wouldn’t freak you anyway, even if they had adult power.”
Now she stood on the deck. The boat was parked on a hammock, and the ground was actually closer down than the interior. The sail was furled vertically, with only faint wisps of fire around it. It would burst into full flame when spread and blown by wind. Fibot, the Fire Boat, was a marvel, far larger inside than outside, and one of the wonders of Xanth.
“There you are!” Chaos called, reaching up toward her from the ground.
“Here I am,” she agreed gladly, doing a little leap-step into his elevated grasp, her skirt flaring wickedly. “I trust you are seeing more than my legs.” She kicked her feet invitingly.
“Plaid panties,” he agreed as he held her over his head, looking up.
“If you were normal, you’d freak out,” she complained.
“I am not normal, and at eleven you are too young for full panty effect.”
That was the bleep of it. “Twelve.”
“Yesterday you were eleven,” he said as he swung her most of the way down.
“Yesterday was a different novel. We all age a year between books, regardless of the actual time passed,” she explained. “You are now officially thirteen.” Chaos had existed longer than the universe, but he was still learning the nuances of mortal interaction. She was glad to instruct him. “That is, the human body hosting you, Larry, is thirteen. If you use it, you need to honor its limitations.”
He nodded. “I am doing so. And we need to be nineteen and eighteen, to graduate from the dread Adult Conspiracy to Keep Interesting Things from Children.”
“More’s the pity. Now stop teasing me and kiss me. We can at least do that.”
He enfolded her and kissed her. Her feet would have floated off the ground had they not already been off. Oh yes, she loved him.
After a timeless moment they separated somewhat, and he set her all the way on the ground. “You have filled out some,” he said appreciatively.
“Yes, it’s that extra year. A hint of some padding on the hips, bottom and chest, and a little off the waist. Next novel, when I’m a teen, I’ll have more. Maybe some real handfuls.”
“But is it permissible to grope it yet?”
She considered briefly. He actually wanted to grope her? There had to be a way! “It’s against the rule, but we may manage to cheat a bit if we’re careful, just as we did when I innocently flashed my panties at you. The Adult Conspiracy has trouble policing every piddling little detail. Pretend you’re sniffing my lustrous hair, while virtuously holding my delicate hand. That’s two things to distract its snooping interest.”
He drew her close again and sniffed her far less than lustrous hair while holding one of her stubby hands in his.
“Meanwhile no attention is being paid to your other hand,” she murmured. “So—*Yipe!!* You got it!”
“I certainly did,” he agreed, laughing. “And a delightful bit it was.”
Bit or butt? She was careful not to say. “Thank you. More anon, when.”
“But if this is a story for a future book, what do the readers think?”
“Readers like a little bit of naughtiness. It perks up the dull text.” She sighed. “But this business of being the protagonist again is unfair. I deserve some time off. For one thing, we could get away with a lot more if the critical eye of the reader were not on us.”
“I could remonstrate with the Demons.” He frowned, and for a moment his aspect changed alarmingly as part of a hint of his monstrous power manifested.
Squid suffered a vision of galaxies blinking out of existence as the War of Demons resumed. “No!” Then, seeing his slightly hurt look, “Please?”
He relented. “For you I would do it, but not if you don’t want it. I want only to please you.”
“And I want to please you, too. It smells like love to me.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not that I really know what that smells like. I wish we could suddenly be over eighteen so we could—never mind, we’re not supposed to even know the options at our age. I’ll just have to find someone else to give the Protagonist Role to.”
“Will anyone else take it?”
“Not if they have a choice. Nobody likes being constantly snooped on. So it’s a problem.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. You told me that today we would visit your family.”
Squid clapped her hand to her forehead. “That’s right! That’s why the boat anchored here overnight, near where my folks live. How I dread it!”
Chaos looked confused. “Perhaps I misunderstood. I thought you wanted to see your family again.”
“Oh, I do. But now I must introduce you to them, and that is what I dread. They are halfway conventional. They will not understand about my dating a Demon. But I have to tell them.”
“I could stay clear and let you visit them alone. That way you could avoid telling them about me.”
“No way, Chaos! I love you. It just may be awkward.”
“Whatever you decide.”
“Let me ponder half a moment.” She was briefly silent. In exactly half a moment she spoke again. “Maybe it would help if you gave them something. A token gift that would distract them slightly.”
“A planet? A nebula? A burgeoning hamper of Dark Matter?”
She laughed. “No, no, nothing like that. Something token, maybe amusing, a mere trinket, maybe useful in some simple way, but typical of you.” She paused again, this time only half an instant. “Maybe a mini ball of chaos.”
“A mini ball?”
“A mini ball. A trifling token. Like a mini spell that has only minimal effect. A cute toy. To amuse them for half a moment.”
“Maybe a mini chaos bomb? One that makes only close things chaotic?”
“Yes! They should like that. Let’s go there now, before I change my foolish female mind.”
“As you wish.”
They stood before the little house that Kandy and Ease used. Squid made a mental note to try to become less impulsive when with Chaos: she kept forgetting he could take things literally, and make them happen before she thought them through. Still, they could walk away.
Squid heard a buzz. There was a bee. No, it was a floating eyeball. She reached out to catch it, somehow knowing it wouldn’t sting her. What was it doing here? She examined it closely.
“Eye of the bee-holder,” Chaos murmured.
“Why is it buzzing around here instead of looking at more important things?” she asked.
“Maybe it’s lost.”
“Well, I can’t help it.” Then she got an idea. “But maybe I know who can.”
The door opened. Kandy stood there, a completely lovely creature with luxu riant midnight hair dropping down to her slender waist: everything that Squid was not. “Squid!” she cried, sweeping the girl into her embrace. So much for walking away. “Whatever brings you here? We thought you were in a dancing troupe aboard the Fire Boat.”
Squid stuffed the eye into a pocket. “I, uh—”
Then Ease was there, too, strong, handsome, smart, with short curly blond hair and a bit of a matching blond beard. Her wonderful parents. “But great to see you, kid,” he said. “We missed you.”
Squid realized she had better get on with introductions before too much could go wrong. “Uh, I came to have you meet my boyfriend, who—”
“Boyfriend!” Kandy exclaimed, taken aback. “Squid, you’re way too young to get into that kind of relationship. You’re a child!”
Just so. If dating was left up to parents, their children would be in their forties before they started, if then. That was just part of the awkwardness.
“Come in and we’ll get to know each other,” Ease said, always the easygoing one. That was his talent: to make things seem easy, even when they weren’t.
In most of another moment they were inside, seated facing each other. “Uh,” Squid repeated, casting about for the right words when she suspected there were none. “His name is Chaos, and he’s—” She broke off to take a nervous breath, then plowed on. “A Demon.”
Kandy was still on her original track. “Squid, you’re only twelve years old! Way too young to have a—” She broke off. “A . . . What?”
“A demon,” Ease said.
“Demon, dear,” Kandy murmured. “Capital D. But this is impossible!”
“They do mix with mortals on occasion, sometimes quite compatibly,” he said. “I remember a demoness who—” Kandy’s glare had cut him off at the knees, so he changed the subject. “Squid, big or little D, does he know your nature?”
Squid was glad to follow this diversion. “Yes, he knows that I am an alien cuttlefish emulating a human girl, a tourist who got trapped in a future Xanth when it ended. That Fornax and Astrid Basilisk rescued me and four other children and brought them here to this reality track of Xanth, and arranged local adoptions for us, for which we are forever grateful. They saved our lives! He doesn’t mind.”
“She even changed for me,” Chaos said. “She became the cuttlefish, with its marvelous mimicking ability, and swam in a lake. She’s not human at all. But neither am I. Regardless, it’s her mind that interests me.”
“Her mind?” Ease asked. “No boy is interested in a girl’s mind, even if she is said to be the most important person in the universe.”
But now Kandy was reorienting. She eyed Chaos in the way only a protective mother could, and that was a warning even a Demon dared not ignore. “Let me introduce myself further,” she said with deadly deceptive calm. “Then I will expect similar candor in return.”
Squid knew this was mischief. Chaos needed to avoid this poisonous exchange. Squid opened her mouth.
“Of course,” Chaos agreed.
Bleep.
“I was a rather ordinary breathtakingly lovely young woman who wanted more than the ordinary,” Kandy said. “I was nicknamed I Kandy, and I thought the I stood for Irrelevant. I didn’t realize at first that it was actually Eye Candy, no respect intended. I was tired of being constantly eyed by boys who wanted only one thing, which was not my mind. So I made a wish at a wishing well, explaining that I was bored stiff and wanted Adventure, Excitement, and Romance. My wish was granted, but not quite the way I intended. I had misspelled ‘bored’ in my mind, and got changed into a stiff board.”
“And a great board she was,” Ease added. He reached toward Kandy and took hold of her ankle. Suddenly, she was a big wooden board, which he wielded like a club. Then he brought it to his face and kissed it, and abruptly Kandy was back and completing the kiss. They clearly understood each other and were hardly bored.
“So we did not have the usual kind of relationship, at first,” Kandy concluded. “But we worked it out. So we understand unusual associations. Then we made a home for Squid, a remarkable girl in her own right.” Her eyes came to resemble the mouths of Mundane machine guns as they focused on Chaos. “How did you come to make Squid’s acquaintance, and what are your intentions toward her?”
Squid opened her mouth again to try desperately to head this off, as the Demon’s own candor could permanently alienate her folks. But Chaos was already answering.
“In my time, the universe was without form and void, and darkness covered the firmament. Then other Demons came on the scene and introduced concepts like light and gravity and electromotive force. I was appalled, so I confronted them. But they had been too long entrenched, so I could not immediately destroy them. So we arranged a compromise: a dialogue between representatives of our powers. Three spot contests, and the winner of the majority would govern. If I won, the universe would end. Their selected representative was Squid. We talked and she showed me that without the other Demons and their artifacts I was just a space without definition. That I actually needed them to have any apparent reality myself. I was also curious about this mysterious concept of Love, as nothing of that nature exists in the void. I asked her to explain it to me.”
What was there to do except finish it? “I couldn’t answer with any authority,” Squid said, suppressing her despair of ever getting parental understanding, let alone approval. A twelve-year-old pseudo-girl dating a capital D Demon? Talking of love? She was hardly supposed to know the meaning of the word. “I was too young to comprehend the secrets of the Adult Conspiracy, and I wasn’t even human. So I kissed him.”
“It was some kiss,” Chaos admitted. “After that I was her captive. It was as if without her I was nothing physically, and without her love, I am nothing emotionally.”
Ease looked thoughtful. “You spared the universe because you liked Squid?”
“Yes.”
Ease spoke to Squid. “And everything might end if you break up with Chaos?”
That was the literal truth, but could she say it? “Uh . . .”
Ease spoke to Kandy. “Is that a good enough reason for you to accept him as her boyfriend?”
She considered dubiously. “Uh . . .”
She was pondering letting the universe end, rather than allow her daughter such a relationship? “Mother, I love him! I know you don’t think I’m old enough, but I know how I feel. That was a two-way kiss.”
Then both parents laughed. “We’re teasing you, dear,” Kandy said. “Of course you can date him if that’s what you really want.”
They were accepting it? This suddenly seemed too easy. “Even though, well—”
“We knew, dear,” Ease said.
Squid was shocked. “You knew?!” She actually managed both punctuation marks.
“The peeve told us,” Kandy said.
“The peeve! I should have known that ill bird couldn’t keep its beak shut!”
“At ease, girl,” Kandy said. “All five families have been regularly briefed by the peeve. It was a condition of allowing the children to serve for an extended time on the Fire Boat.”
Squid was appalled. “You mean the bird has been ratting on us all along?”
“You’re children,” Kandy said. “We care about you. But we know your judgment isn’t always perfect. So we try to stay informed.”
“We trust Grania,” Ease said. “We know she won’t let you stray too far. But we didn’t adopt you only to pass you on to someone else. We prefer to know.”
It did seem to make sense. What would have been the point of adopting the children from the future if they didn’t try to take care of them? Squid realized she had no real grounds for complaint.
“It also serves as a relevant example for Chaos,” Ease said. “A practical demonstration of what family unity is all about.”
“So you’ll know when your turn comes,” Kandy concluded.
Squid had not thought of it that way—her turn to have children, to become a family. When she was grown and adult. She was awed. But of course a cuttlefish and a Demon could never—
Chaos touched her hand, and she felt a tiny ripple of his immense power.
A cuttlefish and a Demon could. If they wanted to.
But that was a matter for another day, far away from now. Time to change the subject. “Um, Chaos, the bomb,” she murmured.
