Uncertain Fire, page 9
Kamil had already left when Bradley arrived home, which was somewhat unusual considering how reluctant he had been to go to the gigs recently. Bradley was just putting away the clean dishes when a knock sounded at the door. Opening the door, he was surprised to find Mel, Pandamonia's vocalist.
"Hey, Bradley. I thought I'd give Kamil a ride to the gig, is he ready to go?"
"Um, he already left. I figured you guys must have already picked him up." He gestured for Phil to come in.
"No, the other guys are out in the van. It's a late gig tonight, we don't go on until ten."
This was strange indeed. From not wanting to go to the gig at all, Kamil had now left early. A sudden thought occurred to Bradley "Hey, could I ride along to the gig with you guys?'
Mel shrugged. "Sure."
Bradley was tied in knots, letting the band's conversation flow around him as he wrestled with his thoughts. For the first time, he seriously considered the possibility that Kamil had been seeing someone behind his back. Could it be the girl he had been tutoring? No, the school was on summer break, the girl had most likely left the area until autumn. Kamil's old friend Phil, the band's bassist, had to nudge Bradley three times to get his attention.
"Hey, you all right there, mate?"
"Oh, uh, yeah. Ummmm.....have you noticed if Kamil has been acting a little....odd lately?"
A shadow passed Phil's eyes and it was a moment before he replied. Then instead of answering directly, he simply asked, "You care about him a lot, don't you?"
Bradley nodded without hesitation, his voice low. "He means everything to me."
Phil's expression softened and he lowered his voice so the others couldn't hear. "I've known Kamil for years, Bradley. Something is wrong, I just don't know what. It might have something to do with that James guy."
"James? Who is James?" Bradley had never heard Kamil mention anyone named James.
"Damned if I know who he is." Phil shrugged. "He started showing up at the gigs several weeks ago, hanging around after Kamil. At first Kamil avoided him, but one day I saw them talking and now they leave the gigs together all the time. If you ask me, the guys a creep."
"Are they....?" Bradley couldn't think of a way to ask, but Phil knew what he was trying to ask.
"I really don't know, Bradley, but I will say this. I've never seen Kamil so miserable as when he leaves with that guy."
That didn't make any sense to Bradley. Kamil was hanging around with this James guy but miserable doing it? They had arrived at the gig by then, a popular club at the edge of the city, and Bradley helped the band unload out of appreciation for letting him tag along. Kamil was nowhere to be seen but it was still over an hour until it was time to go on, and Bradley gathered the guys together quickly.
"Listen, guys, I don't want Kamil to know I'm here, okay? I.....I'm hoping to surprise him."
Phil had an idea that Bradley was hoping to see for himself what Kamil was up to and he had a momentary regret that he had said anything, but his gut instinct told him that Bradley had Kamil's best interests at heart. The other band members merely accepted Bradley's explanation and finished setting up as Bradley located an out-of-the-way seat at the darkened far end of the bar, seating himself with a beer to wait. Kamil showed up a few minutes later, looking listless and talking with the band members in monosyllables as he adjusted his own amps. He only seemed to come to life when the set began, visibly relaxing as the music took possession of him. As always, Bradley couldn't tear his eyes from him, completely enthralled by his talent and his performance. The band played a forty-minute set then took a fifteen-minute break and it was then that Bradley noticed a vaguely familiar man sitting at a table near the stage. The lighting was poor and he couldn't put his finger on where he had seen the man before, but even though Kamil stayed close to his band members, the man went over to him and ran his fingers lightly through Kamil's long, wavy hair.
Bradley saw red. He could scarcely stop himself from charging over there, especially as he saw Kamil flinch away from the man's touch. Everything about Kamil's body language showed tension but when the man tugged at Kamil's sleeve, Kamil obediently stood and followed him to join him at his table. Bradley watched with interest, the knowledge that he should recognize this man nagging at the back of his mind. Kamil's relief was obvious when the break was over and the band took the stage again, he threw himself completely into the rest of the performance but this time Bradley divided his attention between Kamil and the mysterious man who followed Kamil's every move just as Bradley had been doing. Kamil generally took the right side of the stage but that was where the man sat so Kamil switched with Phil and took the left stage.
As the show came to an end it was obvious to Bradley, who knew Kamil so well, that his spirits had fallen, and after hurriedly packing up his equipment he attempted to leave the pub with them, carrying the gear. Bradley watched with avid interest as the man James stood with an almost overdone air of resignation and followed the band out the back door to the alley where they had parked the van.
Bradley quickly paid his tab and exited the front door, entering the alley quietly. The other band members were loading the equipment but James had caught up with Kamil and was even now leading him away down the alley, fortunately in Bradley's direction. Bradley pressed himself into the shadows and waited until he could catch snatches of the conversation.
"...got to get home, I have an exam to study for." Kamil was saying. That wasn't true, Bradley knew, as Kamil's summer classes had only begun and there were no exams scheduled this early in the term.
"All right, we'll make it quick, then. If you didn't always get sloshed first it would be quicker every time."
Kamil merely hung his head, letting James lead him blindly until they came to a darkened area away from the lit back windows, then he suddenly swung Kamil around by the arm and pushed him roughly to his knees. He was unfastening his pants when a fist exploded in his face. Bradley had moved without conscious thought, he was upon them before he was even aware he had moved, and he was fury incarnate. James fell back at the first blow but Bradley didn't relent; in fact, he increased the attack, pounding the man's face until blood flowed freely from his nose and mouth.
Kamil still knelt on the bricks, stunned. Bradley had appeared so suddenly and unexpectedly that he couldn't comprehend what was happening. When he realized it was Bradley, he stood and grabbed his lover's arm, trying to pull him off the other man. By this time Bradley realized who James was, he was the man who had accosted Kamil twice outside Rod's. James was now semi-conscious, half lying against the wall and Bradley drew back his booted foot for a vicious kick.
"Bradley, no!"
Bradley turned on Kamil, still furious. "No?! You're telling me not to beat the fuck out of this asshole? Why, Kamil? Why shouldn't I kill him, tell me that?" He suddenly felt drained, defeated, all the fight leaving him. "Do you want to be with him? Would.....would you rather be with him than with me?"
"No!" Kamil shouted. "God, no, of course not! But you don't understand!"
"What's there to understand? You were going to.... to," Bradley ran his hand, moist with James blood, over his face, his emotions so torn he couldn't even speak. He found he was crying, though he hadn't realized it.
"Bradley, please! Let me explain." Kamil implored, taking Bradley by the arm and steering him out of the alley to the broad steps of a nearby bank, away from the crowded sidewalk. They left the barely conscious James lying there without a backward glance. The other members of Pandamonia wisely finished loading their gear and left, knowing that the two had a great deal to work out.
Bradley let himself be sat down but he was still like a coiled spring, actually shaking with pent up excitement and unresolved furor. He sat, not looking at Kamil, waiting to hear what the other man had to say. But when Kamil spoke, his words were completely unexpected.
"I had to, Bradley. I had to, because of how much I love you."
Bradley spun, incredulous. "What the fuck does that mean?! You were going to suck some guy off in an alley because you love me? That's insane!"
Kamil was crying silently, his voice almost inaudible. "I know how that sounds, but you don't know who that man is! He's James Kendall. Does that name sound familiar?" It did, but Bradley wasn't thinking clearly enough to place it.
Kamil went on. "He is the top attorney in town, Bradley. His word carries a great deal of influence. He told me.....he said he would destroy you if I didn't do what he asked! He said he would see to it that you lost your business, and he could do it! He's done it before, the other dancers at Rod's told me he had tried it with some of them but none of them had anything of value to lose. You have; you've poured your life into your business, and he knew I would do anything to keep you from losing it! Bradley, I didn't have a choice!" Kamil broke down then, sobs wracking his body. "I know I've lost you, I know you can't forgive me. But you'll get over it, and at least you still have your company!"
Bradley sat stunned, Kamil's words gradually sinking in. He recognized the name James Kendall now; the man had an unscrupulous reputation. There had been unspecified rumors for years that he was mysteriously acquiring businesses that had suddenly gone insolvent through blackmail and threats.
Kamil sat with his arms clutching his knees to his chest, his head bowed and his shoulders shaking though he was trying to be quiet. There was no doubt or hesitation in Bradley's mind. He gently laid his hand on Kamil's slim shoulder. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't form words. Kamil didn't move, didn't acknowledge his touch at all, so he moved closer and slipped both arms around him.
"You should have told me." It was all he could think to say. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
Kamil shook his head slightly, still not raising his head. "What would you have done? I know what you would have done." He raised his head then, his face a mask of misery. "You would have beat the fuck out of him and he would have taken everything you've worked so hard for!"
Bradley opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. Kamil was right and they both knew it.
"And now that's going to happen anyway! I'm sorry, Bradley, I'm so sorry!" Kamil lowered his head again, his fingers clutched in his hair so tightly his knuckles were white.
"It doesn't matter." Bradley heard himself say, and he knew it was the truth. "None of that matters, I don't care. I only care about you! Don't ever keep anything from me again, Kamil. Please, promise me you'll never keep anything from me again!"
Kamil was silent, he'd raised his head but was looking straight ahead at the dark buildings across the street. "I was going to go home tonight. Home to Durham. I was at the train station." His voice was so low Bradley had to strain to hear him. "But I owed it to the guys, I couldn't leave them without a guitarist."
"You were going to leave me," Bradley stated flatly.
"It would have been best."
"No, Goddamn it, it wouldn't!" Bradley's voice raised again and some people passing on the sidewalk glanced up at where they sat in the darkness. He made an effort to lower it. "Okay, so maybe this Kendall asshole will cause trouble. We'll deal with that, I don't know how but I'm not worried about that now. But I can't lose you, Kamil! I can't!"
There was a note of desperate pleading in Bradley's voice that made Kamil finally turn to look at him. "You....you still want me, even though......?"
"Of course I want you! I'll always want you!" Bradley grasped both of Kamil's arms so tightly it must have hurt but neither seemed to care. "I love you, you idiot!"
Kamil collapsed then, falling into Bradley's arms and Bradley cradled him close, though he was crying as well. He was so attuned to Kamil that he understood completely how cornered Kamil had felt, how Kendall had manipulated him into feeling trapped and without any choice but to capitulate. Neither of them knew how long they sat there. The sidewalks below them became more deserted and a light mist began to fall, but still they sat there, wrapped together, unwilling to let go.
Finally, Bradley pulled out his phone and called a taxi. They hadn't spoken for quite some time but in the cab, Bradley had to ask. "How many times did it happen, Kamil?"
Kamil's voice was dull. "At first it was just....just with my hands, you know. I was stupid enough to think he would settle for that. Then right after we got back from my parents....."
He didn't have to finish. That had been three weeks before. He squeezed Kamil's hand. "It's okay," he whispered, unwilling to let the driver overhear. "It's over. You're mine. Only mine."
Once they arrived home Bradley put Kamil to bed. Kamil was on autopilot, so mentally and emotionally drained he was beyond exhaustion. He fell asleep as soon as Bradley pulled the covers up to his neck, but Bradley sat for a long time just watching him. He knew they were in for a world of trouble from Kendall, but all he could think of now was how much he loved this man at his side. Even in sleep, Kamil's face showed the strain of the past few weeks and Bradley cursed himself for not having done something sooner. He had known something was wrong but he had pushed it aside in his mind, unwilling to deal with it. Never again, he promised himself. Kamil would be his first priority from this moment on. Ahead of his business, ahead of himself, ahead of everything. None of it mattered without Kamil. Eventually, he lay down next to Kamil, holding him lightly so as not to wake him but unwilling to break physical contact even as he was falling asleep.
Chapter Eight
In the morning Bradley awakened first and leaned to kiss Kamil's cheek. The gray eyes fluttered open and Kamil reached up to touch Bradley's face.
"Morning, love," Bradley whispered. "You don't have to get up, I just wanted to let you know I have to go to the airfield for a couple of hours. Will you be okay?"
"I'll be all right. I know you have a delivery on Saturday. Go do what you have to do, don't worry about me."
"Promise me you'll be here when I get back?" Bradley couldn't stop himself from asking.
"I'll be here as long as you want me here, Bradley. I promise."
Bradley smiled. "Then you're going to be here for a very long time!"
As soon as he pulled away from the curb, Bradley went into action. There was a great deal to be done. First, he called Aaron, offering him double the usual rate to take the Saturday flight in his place. Aaron had been puzzled but something in Bradley's voice convinced him something very important had come up and he agreed to do it. Then Bradley took a deep breath and dialed a number he had never had to use before. The private number of Harry Howell.
"Howell? It's Bradley Dutton. I need to meet with you urgently, it's very important."
After a moment of stunned silence, the other man replied. "Do you know where I live?"
Bradley did. He had never been there but the location of Howell's estate just outside of the city was fairly well known.
"I'll be home all day. Just buzz at the gate and I'll let you in." Howell hung up.
Bradley didn't know what to expect, a mansion or a manor house of some kind perhaps, but Harry Howell's home was a large old farmhouse set in open fields at the end of a long lane. The gate opened silently when he pressed the buzzer and he drove up, parking in front of the double front door next to Howell's familiar Mercedes. Howell himself opened the door and silently gestured for him to enter.
Bradley looked around curiously. The house was large but furnished simply and comfortably with children's toys strewn about here and there. Girls laughter sounded from some room in the depths of the house as Bradley followed Howell into a room lined by floor to ceiling bookshelves. Howell was dressed simply, wearing a tee shirt and cargo shorts, his long auburn hair hanging loosely down his back. He seated himself behind a highly polished antique desk and offered an overstuffed chair to Bradley.
