Uncertain Fire, page 5
Kamil looked at Bradley for a long minute. "You told that man that you were my boyfriend." he finally said softly.
Bradley had spoken without thinking at the time but he realized now that he very much wanted it to be true. "Would you be all right with that?"
Kamil smiled for the first time since the incident. "Boyfriend is kind of a silly word for it, but....yeah. I would really like that."
Bradley reached out and closed his arms around Kamil, hugging him close, enjoying the warmth of him, the scent of him, the solid feel of the lean body against his own. It was nothing more than a hug but when he felt Kamil's arms close around him in return, he felt a lump in his throat. "You're so special, Kamil" he whispered, burying his face in the silky golden-highlighted hair. "I'm so glad I found you."
Kamil giggled softly in his ear. "You make me feel special. I'm glad I found you, too."
Bradley drew back just enough to look into blue eyes darkened with emotion, then Kamil's eyes fluttered closed as his lips met Bradley's. This kiss was more ardent than their previous ones, there was a sense of urgency beneath it and Bradley moved his lips from Kamil's to kiss along his strong jawline and around his ear. He heard Kamil sigh softly and it sent a wave of passion through him, he tightened his arms around the slender body, pulling him close and running his hands up Kamil's back. He felt Kamil giving his neck soft, wet kisses, light at first but with growing confidence and he felt the slim fingers of the other man running up his spine, making him shiver. The kisses intensified and he slid his hand beneath the edge of Kamil's tee, feeling the firm, warm skin beneath his palm.
"Bradley..." After a few minutes of fervid making out, Kamil pulled away slightly. "Can we slow down a little?"
Bradley had difficulty finding his voice but with an effort, he drew back. "Of course, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to rush you."
"No, that's not it." Kamil was out of breath as well. "I...I want to go on, but I don't know what to do."
Bradley smiled and brushed a lock of hair from Kamil's face with his fingertips. "You don't have to do anything, it's all right."
"No, Bradley.....I want to." Kamil's eyes were dark and shining in the dim light of the one lamp. "I'm not sure how far I'm ready to go, but I don't want to stop."
Bradley felt his heart hammering and he felt his jeans uncomfortably constricting his arousal. "I want you so badly!" he admitted, "I've wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you, but anytime you tell me to stop, we'll stop. I promise."
Kamil smiled. "I know. I.......I want you, too."
Bradley slowly returned his arms around Kamil, meeting his lips again with deliberate pressure, his tongue probing into his mouth and swirling around Kamil's, tasting the unique and somewhat sweet taste he instinctively knew was Kamil's essence, just as the clean, somewhat herbal scent was Kamil's own. "I want to touch you, Kamil. Can you take off your shirt?"
Kamil moved back just long enough to pull his shirt over his head and toss it on the floor then he returned to Bradley's arms, pressing his body so close that Bradley could feel that he, too, was aroused. He was still wearing the skin-tight jeans he danced in and Bradley fancied he could feel the heat of him through the fabric. Their lips molded together and he felt Kamil's slim fingers creep beneath the hem of his shirt, so he tugged it off. Kamil let his fingers trail through Bradley's abundance of body hair and he couldn't hold back a low groan.
"Ah, God, you turn me on so much!" Then he drew back to look into Kamil's eyes. "But you know there's more to it than that, don't you?"
Kamil nodded. "I feel something for you too, Bradley. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't."
Bradley smiled and ran his hand down Kamil's smooth, hairless chest. "So beautiful," he murmured. "So perfect." He captured Kamil's lips again and lay back on the futon, pulling Kamil down on top of him. He felt Kamil's hardness against his thigh and he pressed his leg slightly against him, causing the blonde to catch his breath. "Can I.....?"
Kamil nodded."Yeah......"
Bradley slowly ran his hand down Kamil's chest again and across his stomach, then lightly down over the front of his jeans, cupping him gently. Kamil closed his eyes and leaned his head back, his lips slightly parted, his expression so sensual that Bradley pressed his own arousal against Kamil without thinking. Kamil's eyes opened again and he lowered his head to Bradley's chest, kissing him and then finding a nipple and lightly touching his tongue to it. Bradley instinctively moved his hips against Kamil again, his palm still on Kamil's groin, then he found the button to Kamil's jeans and popped it open. Kamil was lying half on top of him, still kissing and licking Bradley's chest, but when Bradley began to slide Kamil's zipper down Kamil made a low moaning sound deep in his throat that Bradley was afraid was going to make him come on the spot. Kamil wore no underwear, the jeans were so tight he couldn't, so tight Bradley couldn't fully slip his hand inside so without being prompted Kamil wiggled the jeans down his slim hips. When Bradley slowly closed his hand around Kamil's length, Kamil drew a shuddering breath and tentatively moved his hand down to Bradley's zipper.
Bradley closed his hand over Kamil's, stopping him. "Let me do something for you first, all right?" he asked softly.
Kamil removed his hand, placing it back on Bradley's chest, and Bradley began to kiss his way down Kamil's torso. Kamil lay back at Bradley's side, impossibly close on the narrow cushion, giving Bradley full access to his body. Bradley found the small, pink nubs of Kamil's nipples and flicked his tongue over one while plucking the other gently with his fingers, making Kamil writhe against him. Kamil was moaning low and Bradley continued slowly working his way down the smooth skin of his stomach, swirling his tongue around his navel, deliberately teasing both of them by going slow even though he wanted Kamil so badly he thought he would go insane.
After an agonizingly long few minutes he reached Kamil's groin. By now Kamil had put his hands on Bradley's head, fingers threaded in his hair, and he couldn't lie still. At the first touch of Bradley's tongue on his member, Kamil cried out loud, his hips jerking involuntarily. Bradley was more experienced with this, but his experience was limited to hurried trysts with men he had no feelings for. This was completely different and he wanted to be certain Kamil enjoyed it, so he allowed himself to act instinctively, doing with Kamil what he knew felt good on himself, and within a few minutes Kamil was throwing his head from side to side, his hair whipping across his face, a long, low moan escaping his lips. Suddenly he stiffened, gasped, and spent himself in Bradley's mouth. Bradley swallowed greedily, not stopping, cleaning Kamil completely before he released him and rested his head against his stomach.
He could feel Kamil's heart pounding and felt his long fingers stroking through his hair. It was a moment before Kamil spoke.
"That was.......I don't know what to say." His voice was low and breathy, and Bradley raised up to look him in the face. He wanted to kiss him but was uneasy about having Kamil taste himself on his lips. Kamil didn't mind, though. He took Bradley's face in his hands and kissed him deeply, and Bradley was sharply aware that he was still agonizingly, almost painfully, turned on.
"I want to do something for you," Kamil whispered, "but I don't know how to do.....what you did."
"It's okay, I just wanted to make you feel good."
"No, I want to.....," Kamil's fingers returned to Bradley's zipper and this time he didn't stop him. When Kamil opened his jeans and released Bradley, he let out a sigh of relief, he was so hard the jeans had been very uncomfortable. Kamil's fingers closed around Bradley, moving hesitantly at first but when Bradley groaned, circling his arm around Kamil's shoulders, Kamil's grip tightened and his movements became firm and sure. It was over quickly, Bradley arched his back and heard himself moan Kamil's name in a strangled voice as white lights flashed behind his eyes, his orgasm one of the most intense he had ever experienced. Kamil didn't stop stroking him until Bradley fell back against the cushion, then he lay his head on Bradley's shoulder.
"Stay here with me tonight, Bradley."
Bradley pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "I'm not going anywhere."
They dozed for a few minutes, then Kamil got up to release the catch turning the futon into a bed and pulling some pillows and a blanket out of the old steamer trunk he used as a coffee table. Meanwhile, Bradley cleaned up in the bathroom and when he returned they settled down more comfortably, nude beneath a soft blanket, falling asleep holding one another close.
Chapter Five
The smell of coffee and fried eggs awakened Bradley. He opened his eyes and smiled to himself, seeing Kamil at the stove across the room, barefoot in camo pants and a tee. The night before had been better than the countless fantasies he'd had about Kamil and the love he felt for the other man was undeniable now, it was an all-encompassing warmth and contentment that he felt in every fiber of his being that he had never imagined experiencing. He sat up and retrieved his jeans from the floor, pulling them on then going over behind Kamil and wrapping his arms around him from behind.
Kamil laughed softly, moving the pan from the burner then turning into Bradley's arms. "I made us some breakfast. It isn't much but I don't have much food on hand."
"It smells great, thanks." He sat at the small table and Kamil put plates of eggs, toast, and marmalade out, pouring them each some coffee. They ate on contented silence, taking their coffee over to the futon which Kamil once again straightened into the form of a couch. "How do you feel this morning?" he finally asked Kamil. "You're okay with what happened last night?" Bradley knew how new this all was to Kamil and was concerned that he might have some regrets.
"I feel really good, actually." Kamil smiled. "Everything just feels....., right, if you know what I mean."
"I know exactly what you mean." Bradley laid his cup down and looked at Kamil. "It's probably too soon to say this, Kamil, but I......,"
Kamil interrupted him by touching his cheek, his thumb tracing Bradley's lips. "I love you too, Bradley. " His soft voice was low, almost a whisper, and Bradley seized his hand, kissing his fingertips. He could scarcely accept his good fortune.
The two of them spent the rest of the day together, and that evening Bradley brought Kamil to his flat for the first time. His place was slightly larger than Kamil's, with a separate kitchen and bedroom, but it had never seemed like a real home to Bradley until he and Kamil were there sitting on the couch with a beer eating delivery pizza with a football match turned low on the TV. They weren't really paying attention to the show, talking and laughing together instead. Kamil sat tucked in the circle of Bradley's arms, his head on Bradley's shoulder as they gradually relaxed and grew quieter.
"Can you stay here tonight?" Bradley finally asked.
Kamil didn't answer. Instead, he sat up, looking at the mindless show now playing on the muted television screen. Bradley sensed tenseness in Kamil and he waited for him to speak.
"You've done these things before, I know. I......I don't want to disappoint you and I know you might want to do things I'm not sure I'm ready for." Kamil was obviously uncomfortable talking about this. Bradley knew exactly what he was talking about and was anxious to put him at ease.
"I'm not as experienced as you probably think," Bradley admitted quietly. "I've only tried to.......go all the way with a man once, and I backed out at the last minute. So as far as that goes, I'm no more experienced than you are. I will never be disappointed with you, Kamil. If you stay tonight we don't have to do anything at all, I just want to hold you."
Kamil looked over at him, smiling slowly. "Then I'll stay. I want to be with, you too. I'm just a little nervous."
Bradley stroked the soft hair back from Kamil's face. "Me too." he smiled, leaning in for a kiss. That night the two of them grew more at ease with each other's bodies, touching, kissing, learning what the other liked. They didn't go any further than they had the previous evening but Bradley was more than happy with that. He found the mere closeness of the blonde intoxicating, every touch of his hands and his lips exhilarating, and they eventually fell asleep curled together in Bradley's bed.
Bradley gave Kamil a lift to his classes the next morning and was at work early, only remembering at the last minute that this was the day he was expecting Harry Howell for their scheduled meeting to go over the books. He felt so buoyant, so alive and content, that even that prospect failed to dampen his mood. He never knew what time Howell would show up on these appointed days so he was in his office going over a flight manifest with Norm when he heard a ruckus out in the main hangar, raised angry voices causing them to exchange a 'what the fuck' look. Bradley hurried out to find a livid Harry Howell shouting at Aaron and Denny near the open hangar door. Evidently rather than coming in through the side door, as usual, Howell had entered the building that way.
"What the hell is going on out here?" He strode over to where the three stood, they had stopped shouting when Bradley appeared but Howell was glaring at the other two who stood close to each other, anger mixing with what seemed to be embarrassment on their faces.
"These....these two are just as bad as you, Dutton! We should rename this company Faggot Air Freight!" Howell sputtered out.
"That's enough! Come in my office, Howell, and explain what you're going on about." Without waiting to see if Howell was following, Bradley turned on his heel and marched back into his office. He was almost sorry to see that Howell had followed him in. Before the other man could even get a word out, Bradley turned on him.
"You push your boundaries a lot around here, Harry, but you have no authority over my staff! If you have a problem with anyone here, you come to me with it. I will not have you shouting at my employees!"
"They....they......." Howell was so upset he couldn't form a coherent sentence, and he stopped to take a deep breath. "I caught them kissing! Smith and the new guy, the general manager. I walked in and they were in a .....a clinch behind the plane!"
This was news to Bradley, but a few things he noticed suddenly made sense. Outwardly he didn't show his surprise. "As long as they do their job and follow regulations, so what?"
"So what!?" Howell raised his voice again. "I've already talked to you about this sort of thing, and now they're doing it! It's like a fucking epidemic!"
Bradley calmly took his seat behind his desk rather than letting Howell take it, as he usually did. "They're my employees, Howell. It's none of your goddamn business."
Howell was beside himself, pacing across the small office, and Bradley had a momentary concern for the other man. Softened perhaps by his newfound love with Kamil, he found his anger dissipating.
"Howell.....Harry, I'm sorry you feel the way you do, I'm sorry your wife left you, I'm sorry you're now a single father, but I will not let you interfere with my personnel. Pull my backing if you must, but you have no right to ask me or my staff to pay for your misery with our happiness."
To Bradley's complete and utter astonishment, Howell suddenly seemed to collapse in upon himself, sinking into the chair. An expression came across his face that Bradley never thought he would see. Vulnerability. His usually snapping brown eyes lowered and when he raised them again to meet Bradley's gaze, Bradley thought he must be imagining the moisture he saw glistening in them. He waited, and after what seemed like an interminable silence he spoke, his voice so low Bradley had to strain to hear him.
"You're right." Harry swallowed and spoke a little louder. "You're right." He sighed, a ragged sigh as though he was struggling to keep tears in check. "I....overreacted. I apologize. It's just so damned hard to see people happy and in love when I'm so fucking lonely!"
Bradley felt compassion he never imagined he would feel for the other man. "Open up a bit, Harry. You don't have to be lonely, you know."
Howell shook his head. "I can't afford to, I'll only get hurt again."
"Maybe," Bradley admitted. "But maybe not. It's worth the risk, believe me."
Howell merely shook his head and stood. "I'd better go. We'll reschedule our meeting. I'll.....I'll apologize to Smith and Mitchell on my way out,"
"Wait," Bradley called impulsively, standing as well. "We're all going to go to lunch in a moment. You can join us."
Harry hesitated on his way to the door and looked back at Bradley questioningly.
"I mean it. We're only going to the fast food place up the road, but you're more than welcome."
