Psycho, page 6
Fuck it. If August could go through Lucas’s medicine cabinet, he could go through August’s head. He gripped the cup in both hands, letting his eyes fall shut. He saw Cricket—the perky blonde cashier—heard her ask if Lucas was his boyfriend, and tried to ignore the warmth that bloomed in his chest. Heard August say his idea of a compliment was saying he liked the way Lucas’s atoms were put together. He would have found that far more charming than what had ended up on the cup. Even though Cricket was right. Lucas did have a nice ass. It was after the goodbyes that things took a turn for the…steamy.
The images were far less detailed, flashes really, but still enough to send fire shooting through his blood. Lucas holding August’s wrists above his head. August kneeling, hands bound, head bowed, with Lucas looming over him. August on all fours with Lucas behind him. Lucas on his back with August riding him. He sucked in a gasp as he forced his eyes open.
There were a couple of startled giggles from the front row, but most people just looked at him like they were afraid he was moments away from snapping, when, in truth, he was rock hard behind his desk. Lucas could not teach a group of budding criminologists with an obvious erection. He’d be tossed out on day one.
And yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about August wanting to submit…to Lucas. Fuck. He needed to maintain some objectivity, but having complete control over August—using him however he liked, knowing August craved that dominance—made him hot and shivery.
Lucas viewed sex with a certain amount of trepidation. It usually required laser focus for him because, if he slipped up, he might make the experience far more intimate than his partner wanted. Nothing ruined sex like accidentally letting his guard down and realizing the person he was with was thinking of somebody else, or had abhorrent sexual fantasies, or was actually a monstrous predator.
Lucas was hardly a blushing virgin but, with his clairvoyance, his sexual encounters often ended with hurt feelings or as a one night stand. He could count on one hand the amount of times he’d been intimate with another human being and it hadn’t ended poorly. Or awkwardly. And, in one case, catastrophically.
But what was there he could learn about August that he didn’t already know? While he had no interest in seeing what he’d seen the first time he’d touched August, last night, August’s touch had brought nothing but an unexpected pleasure that had shot heat through his core. The truth was, August and Lucas already knew the worst things about each other, and knowing that was almost hotter than the thought of August on his knees for him. Almost.
Fuck, he’d looked so hot on his knees for Lucas. Maybe Lucas had already crossed the line into insanity because the thought of controlling and dominating August—an unconscionable killer, a psychopath who lacked an ability to feel remorse—had him rock hard. He wanted that. Wanted August. On his knees. On all fours. Hell, anyway he could get him.
Shit.
He needed to stop this line of thought immediately. He had a job to do. He finished his muffin in two bites, put his shields back up, and downed his coffee in one go, clicking the remote to the overhead projector. “Okay, let's get started. Who read the chapter on aggression and violent behavior?”
Once morning classes ended, Lucas went back to his office, unsure whether August would make good on his lunch offer but knowing he had other things he needed to focus on. Like Kohn. He sat at his desk and pulled up the missing persons database, scrolling through an endless sea of faces. It was like looking for a needle in a stack of needles, searching for one face in a sea of thousands, and there was a good chance the needle wasn’t there at all.
Lucas wasn’t sure how long he sat there before knuckles rapped against his door, which swung open before he could issue an invitation. August. Lucas’s heart began to thud hard behind his ribs at the sight of him. Had any man ever made Lucas’s pulse flutter before?
He held up two bags. The smell of the food hit Lucas hard, making his stomach growl.
“I hope you like Chinese,” August said in lieu of a greeting.
“I do,” Lucas confirmed. “You know, most people wait for a person to invite them in before they just barge in.”
August gave him a sheepish look. “I didn’t want to give you the chance to think about it for too long.”
August’s honesty was annoyingly endearing. He gestured towards the worn leather sofa against the wall, and Lucas nodded in agreement. Once they were seated on opposite sides of the small couch, August set the bags between them and handed Lucas chopsticks. “There’s also a fork in the bag just in case you don’t know how to use them.”
It was said almost like a challenge, a wide grin spreading across his face before faltering and dying completely. Lucas split the cheap wooden utensils, rubbing them together as he contemplated August’s sudden lack of expression.
“Are you okay?” Lucas asked.
August’s eyes darted to his. “Yes. Why?”
Lucas grabbed the container of beef and broccoli.“Because you went from grinning like the Joker to looking like I kicked your puppy in the span of about fifteen seconds. It was a little disconcerting.”
August shrugged, gaze shifting to somewhere over Lucas’s shoulder. “My brother’s boyfriend said my smile freaks people out. I don’t want to freak you out.”
August’s admission made Lucas’s heartbeat fall off rhythm.
“I like your smile.”
“You don’t think I smile at the wrong things?”
“No. I one hundred percent think you smile at the wrong things. But I find it strangely charming.”
“Oh,” August said, as if he was chewing over that answer.
After that, they ate in relative silence, swapping containers and making occasional small talk. When they were finished, August asked, “Did you get my message?” Lucas frowned. Message? He reached for his phone. August reached out and touched his hand. “No, not that one. The one on your cup.”
Lucas snickered, doing his best to ignore the heat of August’s fingers still gripping his fingers. “About my ass? Yes. I also know it was Cricket who liked my ass, not you.”
August shook his head, voice earnest. “Cricket isn’t the only one who likes your ass. I like it very much. I like it so much I’d like to take it out to dinner, but you keep saying no. But that’s not what I meant. I… Did you pick up any thoughts when you touched the cup?”
Understanding dawned. “Are you saying you deliberately left impressions on my cup hoping I’d snoop around in your head?”
August grinned. “Yes. It seemed a shame to waste an opportunity. It was just an experiment. I figured if you can pick up thoughts and feelings from objects, then, it stands to reason, I can leave those impressions there for you to find.”
Lucas could feel color creeping up his neck to his face. “You left those thoughts…deliberately?”
August nodded. “I wanted you to see I was trying.”
“Trying?” Lucas echoed.
“Yeah, to romance you.”
Lucas’s eyes widened. The things he saw…had nothing to do with romantic gestures. Well, maybe in the loosest sense of the words. Supplication could be seen as romantic, but Lucas didn’t think that was what he meant. He leaned in close. “What exactly is it you tried to show me?”
“The coffee shop conversation.”
Lucas studied August’s face. “What about after the coffee shop conversation?”
“After?” August enquired.
“Yeah, what I saw had nothing to do with coffee.”
August tilted his head, his tongue darting out to wet his lip. “What did you see?”
Lucas almost lied but then decided he didn’t want any lies between them. “You. On your knees. For me.”
August swallowed hard. “Like last night?”
Lucas shook his head. “Definitely not.”
“Oh.” August didn’t sound embarrassed when he asked, “Did you like it? Me on my knees…for you?”
“Yes,” Lucas said, his cock once more hardening behind his zipper. “Too much.”
August moved closer until their knees slotted together. “Can I kiss you?” he whispered.
Lucas shook his head, though he didn’t know why.
“Why not?”
“Because this is a bad idea. I just got out of a mental health facility. I’m being stalked by a maniac. I’ve lost everything. I can’t think of a worse time to try to have a relationship.”
“Oh,” August said, seemingly running that through his big brain. “Then will you kiss me?” he asked, his voice low.
“You’re not going away, are you?” Lucas pressed.
August met his gaze. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because some part of me chose you and now, I can’t let you go. Don’t ask me to explain the way my brain works.”
Lucas should have been horrified. A psychopath had just told him he’d claimed him as his own. Instead, Lucas reached up and cupped August’s face. “This doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship,” he said.
“What doesn—”
Lucas crashed their mouths together, lightning exploding in his veins as August yielded instantly, melting against him. His submission made Lucas bolder, his tongue darting inside to explore. August’s hands flailed, then caught in Lucas’s shirt. He did catch flashes of August’s thoughts, but there was nothing distasteful about them. Just more of what he’d seen earlier. Flashes of naked flesh and panting breaths and August saying his name like a plea.
“Fuck.”
He ripped his mouth from August’s and gripped his knees, yanking hard enough to get him beneath him, blanketing his weight on top before delving back in to kiss him once more. August spread his legs, letting Lucas settle between his thighs, both groaning when their bodies collided, both of them hard.
This wasn’t at all what Lucas had intended. Hell, he hadn’t intended anything but he couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. He’d thought August might be a fling. A dangerous impulse thing he could look back on and marvel at, but he’d never imagined somebody like August would want anything long term. Lucas wasn’t even sure he’d be alive in six months.
Still, he didn’t stop. He couldn’t. He liked August beneath him, the way he was rolling his hips against Lucas’s, the tiny hitched breaths he expelled every time Lucas did something he liked.
Lucas had never just made out with somebody before. Not ever. Not even in high school. And he was suddenly realizing what he’d been missing. He tore his lips away to explore August’s jaw, his earlobe, the corded tendon of his neck.
“We should stop,” he said, even as his hands untucked August’s shirt, pushing it up so he could thread his fingers through the springy curls that covered his chest and belly.
“Okay,” August panted, catching Lucas’s mouth in another dirty kiss.
Lucas ground himself against August’s rocking hips, almost positive he could come just from the heat and friction and the feel of August’s lips beneath his. But they couldn’t. This was Lucas’s second day of work. August was a stranger…and a co-worker…and a psychopath, who wanted to mate with Lucas for life.
Lucas launched himself off August, forcing himself all the way back against the far end of the couch. “Seriously. We’re at school. We both have classes starting in fifteen minutes.”
August crawled closer, his hand going for Lucas’s zipper. “I can get you off in less than fifteen minutes.”
The confidence in August’s words threw Lucas’s train of thought far off its track. “What?”
August’s eyes raked over him, gaze hot enough to melt steel. “I can make you come in fifteen minutes or less.”
Lucas’s cock throbbed at his offer. He glanced at the door, then at August. He wanted to let him. Nobody would ever know. But he shook his head. “Not here. My place. Later. After work. Where we have some privacy. I have another class and then I’m working on a…research project.”
It wasn’t a lie.
“Kohn?”
Lucas’s erection instantly flagged at the name. “How do you know that?”
August shrugged. “I told you, I went through your apartment. Who is he? Other than a special agent that is?”
Lucas sighed. “He’s a field agent with the FBI. Big shot, started at Quantico the same time I did.”
“And you think he killed all those women in your file?”
Lucas shook his head. “Not all of them, no. But some of them. Not that anybody will believe me.”
“I believe you.”
Lucas gave him a smile. “Thanks, but that won’t help me put him in prison.”
August ran a hand through his dark hair. “Maybe prison isn’t what he needs.”
Lucas’s eyebrows ran for his hairline. “You mean kill him?”
August nodded. “Sure. If he murdered those women, he meets the code.”
Lucas’s mind reeled. Life would be so much easier if he could just let August do what he did. “That’s the thing. I don’t think he did it alone. I think he has a partner. And I think they keep these women for a long time and then, when they’re done, they get rid of them somehow. I just don’t know how or where or even who. I just know they’re out there hurting people and I can’t do a thing about it.”
“Let me help. I have resources.”
“You have better resources than the FBI?” Lucas said, incredulous.
“Yes, I have a Calliope.”
“A what?”
“Not a what. A who. Calliope. Let me help you.”
Lucas thought about it. August wasn’t going anywhere. Lucas could pretend the thought bothered him, that it scared him or worried him. That was what he should feel when in a situation like that. But he wanted him there, wanted his touch and his obsession. And his help. Lucas wanted his help.
“Okay, but not here. My place. Tonight. Dinner.”
August blinked in surprise. “Like a date?”
His voice was so adorably hopeful there was no way Lucas was going to say no, even if he was being manipulated. “Yes. Like a date.”
August taught his remaining classes on auto-pilot. Luckily, he was only teaching level one physics classes that afternoon. He could talk about time evolution and the Schrödinger equation in his sleep. But he wasn’t sleeping. He spent the whole lecture remembering the feel of Lucas’s tongue sliding into his mouth, the hard length of him pressed against August’s hip, how Lucas had to physically tear himself away from August.
He ended his last class early by twenty minutes, shoving his earbuds in his ears before heading out into the drizzling rain. He pulled the collar of his jacket up but didn’t bother with his umbrella as he cut through the quad on his way to the parking lot, thoughts still firmly on Lucas.
August had never had anybody truly lust after him before. Sex was purely transactional. He’d needed it that way. If there was an exchange of goods and services, August didn’t have to worry about being creepy or weird. He was paying them to overlook all of his off-putting idiosyncrasies, of which he had many.
He didn’t have that luxury with Lucas. He had to somehow want August as he was. Their kiss had seemed to suggest he was open to at least a physical relationship with him, if not an emotional one. August lacked the necessary requirements for a love match, but he needed Lucas to understand that his brain had already decided their fate. There was no way to say that without sounding like a psycho.
Except, he was a psycho.
He was a psycho and Lucas was crazy. Maybe that made them perfect for each other? Still, he didn’t want to fuck this up before it even got started. And if anybody was going to fuck it up before it started, it would be August.
He was almost to the parking lot when a hand tapped him on the arm. Bianca.
He pulled his headphones from his ears. “What’s up?”
She pushed a lock of dark hair behind her ear, her tone conspiratorial. “Did I see you leaving Special Agent Crazy-Pants’ office at lunch looking a little mussed?”
August raised a brow, a strange rush of adrenaline filling him at Bianca’s casual insult of Lucas. “I don’t know. Did you?”
“I’m serious,” Bianca said, smiling and nudging him.
August didn’t smile back but did his best to not let the real him bleed through. “So am I.”
Bianca rolled her eyes and laughed. “Seriously? Spill. What’s he like? Is he really as out there as people say? Are you trying to hook up with him? Is that your type? Hot and crazy?”
Yes.
“Hook up?” August said, closing his now shaking hands into fists. She remained oblivious to the heat rising under his skin.
“Yes, you automaton,” she teased. “Are you trying to hook up with him?”
“Why do you care, exactly?” August asked, making no attempt to hide his growing annoyance, even though his father would have cautioned him against it.
Bianca shrugged. “We kind of just assumed you were asexual, but you and Captain Crazy actually makes sense.”
“Don’t. Call. Him. That.”
Bianca’s eyes went wide at the icy warning in his tone. “I-I didn’t realize you were so…close. I apologize.”
August needed to pull himself together. If his father thought he couldn’t handle being in a relationship with Lucas, he wouldn’t let him keep him. He took a deep breath, forcing his face into a serene expression. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I was looking over a student’s dissertation and, clearly, I didn’t realize how tired I was until now. I’ll see you around, okay?”
He didn’t wait for Bianca to say goodbye, just turned and walked the few steps to his Mercedes G-class, clicking the alarm off and throwing open the door. Only once he was locked inside the cab alone did he finally let himself go, gripping the steering wheel and shaking it hard, a raw scream falling from his lips.
The fucking audacity. She had no right to talk about Lucas that way. He wasn’t crazy. He was perfect. He was sweet and sexy and strong. They were the ones who were gossips, constantly looking down their noses at others, feeling they were entitled to make snide comments because of some sense of superiority.
