Alpha's Obedience, page 9
Sivney found a spot in the shade of a large tree, where the sunlight filtered through the thick leaves in thin rays that warmed his skin enough to be able to sit still and not get cold. It wasn’t far enough in the season yet for them to fall off the branches, though judging by the color, it wouldn’t be long now. He was glad he’d brought another blanket, and he spread that one out on the grass. With effort, he lowered himself and found a spot leaning against the trunk of the tree so he had back support and could still keep an eye on Naran.
He was so proud, the alpha, and Sivney could understand that. It had to be hard for him to be dependent and helpless, when he was supposed to be this big, strapping alpha. Naran had been that man, Sivney figured, that big alpha, his build still showing the definition he’d once had, the muscles now wilting away.
He had to find a way to get him to take better care of himself. Staying inside in bed all day wasn’t doing Naran any favors. If he couldn’t do anything about his legs, then at least he could work on his upper body. He’d need to get much stronger if he ever wanted to become more independent. But he wasn’t there yet. Sivney wasn’t sure what the alpha needed to get there, but he would find it.
He heard a gasp behind him and turned his head. Lev stood behind him, eyes wide open, his body frozen as he stared at Naran. “Lev?” Sivney asked when Lev didn’t say anything but just stood there, his chest rippling with his fast breaths.
Finally, Lev tore his eyes away from Naran and stepped up next to Sivney. “He looks bad.”
Sivney nodded. “I know.” He wasn’t willing to divulge more, especially to Lev.
“Good.”
Sivney’s breath caught in his lungs at that forceful statement. “You don’t mean that.”
Lev crossed his arms, and yet he looked fragile to Sivney. A hurting soul hidden in that alpha body. Lev was an alpha in his prime, all toned, strong muscles, and he moved with an innate grace. He was on the small side for an alpha, though, a bit shorter and less bulky than most alphas were. In fact, if you saw him from a distance, you could mistake him for a beta. Not that Sivney would ever tell him that. Alphas were proud, and he’d never hurt Lev like that.
“I do. He deserves it after what he did to me.”
Sivney wanted to push himself up but discovered that he couldn’t. His center of gravity had changed with his pregnant belly, and he kept forgetting that. The only way to get up was to do an inelegant roll onto all fours and then push himself up while careful not to topple over. Yeah, what could possibly go wrong there?
“Help me up?” he asked Lev, who stepped close right away.
Sivney held out both hands, and the alpha took them, then pulled him up, holding on until he had made sure Sivney was stable. He was so kind, so gentle and soft inside. How could he harbor this much hate for Naran? Then Sivney thought of William. Was he really that much better? If he heard right now that William had befallen some misfortune, wouldn’t he celebrate, even a little on the inside? God, yes, he so would.
“I know he hurt you,” he said softly, placing a hand against Lev’s cheek. The alpha’s eyes widened, but he allowed it, and Sivney cupped his cheek with a tenderness that seemed to seep from his soul. He hurt for them both, Naran and Lev, and it was impossible to say who was the victim here.
“I’m…He didn’t…” Lev stuttered, but then he sighed, and Sivney felt his surrender to the inevitable. “He did,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust anyone ever again.”
“I know.”
“You don’t understand…” Lev said, and Sivney removed his hand but maintained eye contact.
“I do understand.” Sivney took a deep breath as he put both hands on his belly. “Do you see an alpha anywhere with me? No? Then you know that I, too, was betrayed by one.”
Lev’s face showed shock. Then sadness washed over him. “What happened?”
“William, my boyfriend, was relieved when my heat was so late, because it meant we could have sex without the risk of pregnancy. Then it came, and it was…” He closed his eyes for a second, swallowing back the nausea that always welled up in him as he thought of those days. A lot of it was a haze, but he still remembered enough. Too much. “It wasn’t good. After, he bought meds on the black market that were supposed to prevent pregnancy, but I became pregnant anyway. He dumped me instantly, said he wasn’t ready to settle down and have a family.”
Lev’s face distorted with anger, and that somehow comforted Sivney, even if he hadn’t shared the whole story with him. Some things hurt too much to talk about.
“Your parents?” the alpha asked.
Sivney shrugged, fighting hard to stay as non-emotional as possible. “They kicked me out. They had high hopes for me that didn’t include me raising a bastard child, or so I was told.”
The sound Lev made was one of pure distress, and rarely had Sivney met an alpha who had such a compassionate heart. “I’m so sorry,” Lev said, his voice even breaking a little, and Sivney understood that they shared this, too. Lev knew what it was like to be rejected by his parents, his family. No wonder Naran had been able to wound him so deeply; he’d already been so vulnerable. He wouldn’t ask. Not now, not when Lev was so emotional. One day they’d talk and share their pain, but for now, it was enough to know.
“Do you want a hug?” he asked, and the sheer look of wonder on Lev’s face warmed his heart.
Sivney held his arms open and Lev stepped in without a second hesitation. He wrapped his arms around Sivney, carefully avoiding putting too much pressure on his belly. Even though he was so much smaller, Sivney felt like he was holding Lev, and he pulled him close, rubbing his back and resisting the urge to whisper comforting words in his ear. This alpha evoked strange feelings of protectiveness in him.
“Thank you,” Lev whispered as he let go. “It’s been too long since someone held me.”
He surprised Sivney by pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. Judging by the flash of color on his face right after, he’d shocked himself as well, and Sivney watched him take off, mumbling some excuse about needing to get back to work.
When he turned around to check on Naran, the man’s position had changed. “How long have you been awake?”
Naran opened his eyes. “Long enough to see your burgeoning friendship is developing into more.”
Sivney opened his mouth, then closed it again. He cocked his head as he studied Naran. The man had sounded anything but casual and yet his face was a carefully held mask of indifference.
“You sound jealous,” he finally said, because that was the only conclusion he could come to.
Naran huffed. “Why the fuck would I be jealous? He’s nothing to me…and neither are you.”
Oh, he knew how to hurt, this man. But Sivney wasn’t fooled. “You know what’s so interesting?” he said, stepping closer.
Naran frowned. “I can’t think of anything about this whole topic that could possibly interest me, but please, do continue boring me to death.”
Out came the sarcasm again. No wonder no one had managed to get close to him. He’d kept them all at bay with these nasty barbs. “If you insist on being rude, I’ll let you get back to your room on your own,” Sivney said as he stepped back. He was tired of taking hit after hit. It was time to fight back.
“You wouldn’t!”
Naran’s eyes darkened, but they showed something else as well. A sliver of doubt, and Sivney jumped on it, crossing his arms and stating, “Try me.”
“You’re a fucking nurse. You can’t leave a patient on his own!”
Sivney shrugged. “I’m a volunteer and as far as I know, the only one willing to put up with your shitty attitude. But that ends here and now. If you can’t fucking respect me, I’ll walk away and you can get back to your damn room on your own. You always insist you don’t need help, so prove it.”
He held his eyes that changed from furious to something else. Fear. Then respect. “For an omega, you sure have a potty mouth.”
Sivney scoffed. “Potty mouth? What are we, fucking kindergartners?”
Naran grinned, and Sivney could barely keep his mouth from dropping open. The man’s whole face changed as he smiled. Gone was that sour expression, the hardness and defensive walls wiped away. It was like he was a different man…one who was a hell of a lot more attractive.
Naran’s expression sobered. “What?” he snapped as Sivney stared at him. That smile made Sivney’s stomach dance, which confused the hell out of him. Pregnancy hormones. That’s what that was.
“You’re beautiful when you smile.”
“I have little reason to smile.”
“Then why did you just now?”
“Because you were hilarious. There’s something unreal about you looking all sweet and small and pregnant and then these words coming out of your mouth. It was funny.”
“Glad you found something to smile about in someone who by your admission bores you to death. Doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about your rudeness.”
Naran stared at him for a few seconds, and then he smiled again. It was a faint smile, but it was there, and Sivney took it as a personal victory. Even more when Naran said, “Okay, I’ll humor you. What was so interesting that you felt the need to tell me?”
It was as close to an apology as he was gonna get, and he’d take it. He walked over to him, took his spot behind the wheelchair, and then bent over, bringing his mouth close to Naran’s ear. “You and Lev, you both miss being touched…and you were both the last person to touch the other.”
Naran didn’t say a word the rest of the way.
13
Lev wiped his clammy hands on his pants, then straightened and took a fortifying breath. He didn't know why Palani wanted to talk to him, and it had him worried. Terrified, more accurately, and as he'd walked the perimeter that morning, he had gone over the last few days in his head. Had he messed up somehow without realizing?
Bray hadn't said anything about his performance. If his boss had issues with him, he would've said something, right? Then again, he hadn't shared any compliments with Lev either, so maybe something was wrong? Lev couldn't figure out what, but there had to be a reason why the second-in-command of the pack had requested a meeting. It wasn't like he'd invited Lev for a cup of coffee to chat.
Maybe it was about what he’d said to Sivney about Watkins the day before? Had the omega reported back to Palani that Lev wished Watkins harm? It didn’t seem like him. Plus, he’d hugged Lev, for crying out loud. And it had been a perfect hug too, one that had made Lev feel seen and accepted. Sivney had shown he understood. That wasn’t the action of someone who would report him.
In fact, discovering they had something in common and that hug had given Lev hope that maybe he could make Sivney like him after all. It was a start, right? So no, that couldn’t be the reason why Palani had asked to see him. But what had he done wrong, then?
After another failed attempt to get his racing heartbeat under control, he walked into Jawon's House. There was no sense in postponing the inevitable. If they were going to kick him out of the pack, he might as well face it as soon as possible.
Once inside, he made sure to stop and listen for a few seconds before continuing on to the kitchen. He was not going to interrupt another live porn show, as everyone called it. He still had the memory of the last one burned on his mind, and every time he thought about it, he got hard all over again.
But everything was clear, and the only sounds were people chatting, so he walked into the kitchen, his legs unsteady. Vieno and Gia were busy cooking, while Sven and Ruari were sitting at the massive kitchen table, cutting the ends of green beans. They must've just harvested them, and the pile in front of them was enormous.
"Hi, Lev," Vieno said friendly. "Palani is in the living room."
"Alone?" Lev asked, then blushed.
Vieno merely grinned. "You didn't like the last show?"
Around him, the others chuckled, and Lev's cheeks heated up even more. "What show did he catch?" Ruari asked.
Vieno winked at Lev, who didn't know where to look. "Oh, he walked into the kitchen when Lidon was balls deep inside Enar."
"I didn't walk in," Lev protested. "I…" He stopped talking because if he admitted he had watched from the hallway, it would only make things worse, no?
"Stop teasing the poor boy," Palani called out from the living room. "Not everyone is into exhibitionism."
"Really?" Gia said. "I thought that was more or less a requirement if you wanted to join the pack."
That earned him a round of laughs from everyone else, and Lev fled into the living room. How he would ever be able to snag himself an omega when he couldn't even have a normal conversation with one was beyond him, but that was a problem for another day.
"Does it bother you, the teasing?" Palani said by way of opening, and that had Lev's stomach even more in twists.
How the hell did you answer a question like that? First of all, he'd have to bring up the embarrassing fact that after Palani had already caught him listening to Grayson and Sven having sex, he'd also watched Lidon and Enar. And second, one of the omegas teasing him was Palani's mate. Really, there was no good answer here, and that was not even taking into consideration that he probably was here to get scolded anyway. No need to add more fuel to that particular fire, right?
So he shrugged, trying to be as casual as he could pull off. "I don't mind."
Palani narrowed his eyes slightly, but he pointed to the couch. "Grab a seat. Thanks so much for meeting me."
"No problem," Lev said, his voice shaking.
Palani's eyes, which were usually razor-sharp and focused, softened. "You're not in trouble, Lev."
"I'm not?" Then why the hell had Palani invited him here?
"What did you think you were here for?"
Lev firmly shook his head. "No, that's not a fair question. Because if I start listing everything I think I may have done wrong, I will only give you more ammunition against me. So please, tell me what I did wrong. I promise I will fix it, whatever it is. But please, give me another chance. I know I messed up by working for—"
"I wanted to apologize to you," Palani interrupted him.
Lev blinked a few times, certain he must've misheard. "What?"
Palani leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "We owe you an apology."
"For what?"
Palani blew out a soft breath. "We originally hired Naran to look into Melloni's disappearance. He could find no trace, and we asked him to look into the false evidence that cost Lidon his job. Months later, he contacted us that he was working for someone and that he'd found evidence that Melloni was still alive."
Lev swallowed. This was not going in the direction he had expected. He had a feeling things were about to get uncomfortable for him.
"Naran mentioned he'd gotten close to one of the guards there and that he'd learned about him guarding some top scientist. He concluded it had to be Melloni."
Lev couldn't look at him anymore. He'd known in the back of his head that Palani had heard about his past, about his role in Melloni's kidnapping and subsequent liberation. But having the man lay out the facts like this, listening to him as he put Lev's incredible stupidity into words, it cut him like a knife.
He hadn't even realized he'd gotten up from the couch, but suddenly, he found himself standing, his eyes blurry with tears. "I have to go," he managed, then stumbled as he turned to walk away.
"Lev, no," Palani said. "We were in the wrong here."
Lev stopped, his back still toward Palani. "What do you mean? You said it yourself, Watkins got the information from me. Not only that, but I actually bragged to him about it. It wasn't like he had to try hard to get it out of me, you know?"
He jumped when Palani's hand landed on his shoulder since he hadn't heard him move. "We're sorry for the pain we caused you."
He shook his head. "I don't understand."
"We were so focused on getting news about Melloni that we never stopped to consider the potential ramifications for this guard. That's on us."
Lev blinked the tears away, but one escaped, rolling down his cheek. He wiped it off with a frustrated move, then dabbed at his other eye. God, if his father or brothers could see him now, they would tear him a new one. Crying in itself was a punishable offense to them, but crying in front of a beta? That was deep humiliation in their books.
He straightened his shoulders, then turned around. "You have nothing to apologize for. We both know where the blame lies. You didn't tell Watkins to seduce anyone. That was all on him. And I was the idiot who fell for it and who couldn't keep his mouth shut. Besides, did you forget who I worked for? I'm not the innocent party in all this. I knew Big Bennett was dangerous when I started working for him. Okay, I'll admit that I didn't know how vast his criminal empire was, what the man was involved in, and how dirty his hands were, but even when I found out, I didn't leave. I bragged to Watkins about guarding Melloni rather than refusing to work for a man who would kidnap people in the first place. And when they caught Watkins, I was happy. Not at first, because I couldn't figure out how the man who was supposed to be my boyfriend had been caught snooping around the building, but once I found out how he had betrayed me, I was glad he got caught. And all those days they held him, when they tortured him, I didn't do a damn thing to get him out of there."
His voice broke, and his cheeks were wet with tears now. "I should have stopped them," he whispered, nausea welling up inside him all over again. "I should have done something. Quit working for him, alert the authorities. Anything. Instead, I was complicit to his crimes."
"Why?" Palani asked, but there was no accusation in his voice. "Why did you make that choice? Were you that angry with Naran?"
