Frank leaned into the fridge, picking at a chicken carcass we'd had for lunch. He glanced around, a quizzical expression crossing his face. "What's wrong?"

  "We need a drink," I said, opening my eyes wide and raising my eyebrows at him.

  He jerked his head backwards, as if asking what the problem was.

  "Show him the leaflet, Alex."

  Frank read it. He didn't flinch at all. His self-control surprised me. "What about it?"

  "This guy is Sally-Ann's brother, and he's been missing for months."

  "And?"

  "Apparently Alex saw him around this house a couple of times. Once he told Jon, who warned him not to mention it to me. The next time was the night of Jonathan's funeral." I poured two stiff brandies and downed mine in one, handing the other to Alex.

  "Why would he be here?" Frank asked.

  "I have no idea."

  "Tell us what happened last time, Alex."

  He downed his drink and placed the glass back onto the bench top. I refilled it.

  "I was standing outside having a smoke after the funeral. It was late, around ten o'clock. I heard a sound but I didn't see him right away. Then I heard his bike spokes clicking. That's when I saw him standing on the path, looking at the house. All the lights were out except the hall light."

  "Go on," I said.

  "I didn't know what to do. Didn’t want to confront him but I couldn’t ignore him, so I cleared my throat and switched the garage light on. I pretended I hadn’t seen him because Jonathan said he was a nasty piece of work. Anyway, he didn't move at all for a few minutes, then he turned away and pushed his bike from the driveway."

  "I wish you'd told us."

  "I did think about it, but you'd just buried Jon and I thought you had enough to worry about. If something had happened I would have told you what I saw, but nothing did, and I never saw him again."

  He knocked back his drink again.

  "Slow down, Alex. You'll pass out." I laughed.

  “Sorry, I've never been able to drink in moderation. That's why I don't normally bother. I'm an old soak once I get the taste."

  "Oh well, you're not working tomorrow, so you'll be able to spend the day in bed." I poured him another, and a small one for myself. "Can I get you one, Frank?"

  He shook his head. "No, but I wouldn't mind a cuppa."

  "Go and sit yourself down and take Alex with you. Are you hungry?"

  "I'm peckish. I know I shouldn't be after all that lovely food, but I am."

  "Fancy a ham sandwich?"

  "Oh, I'd love one, lass."

  "How about you, Alex?"

  "Nah thanksh." His legs were like bendy rubber as he followed Frank to the lounge where he flopped down on the sofa.

  I picked up his drink and walked behind him, placing it on the coffee table. "There you go."

  "Thanksh," he said again.

  Frank sat in the armchair.

  Back in the kitchen I set about making a plate of sandwiches and a cup of tea for Frank. Frank and Alex were chatting but I couldn't hear what they were saying above the sound of the kettle boiling.

  Frank glanced my way a couple of times. He seemed a little agitated.

  I joined them a few minutes later, handing Frank the plate of sandwiches and placing his tea on the table.

  "Thanks, lass."

  "Okay, so what have I missed?"

  "Alex was just saying he thought he'd found that bloke's bike in the garage."

  "What bloke?" My heart froze in my chest. I felt the contents of my stomach turn to liquid.

  "The missing bloke," Alex said.

  "Impossible. Why would it be in our garage? You already said you saw him leave on it."

  "I know, but it's quite distinct. Part of it is silver and part of it pink, as though its two different bikes welded together. It also has two different coloured tyres. A white one of the front and a black one on the back.

  "And you saw it in our garage?" I kicked myself for not getting rid of the bike, how stupid I’d been to forget all about it. My eyes flashed at Frank.

  I walked back to the kitchen and brought back the brandy bottle, topped up my glass and then held the bottle out to Alex. He finished the dregs of his glass before holding it out for me to refill it.

  "That's strange," I said.

  "I know, then I found that tooth in the pigshty. I almost convinced myself something had gone on, until Frank told me it wash hish tooth."

  I laughed with him, but the tone sounded flat and empty. Alex didn't seem to notice.

  "I'll tell the policshe tomorrow. Look at the date he went mishing. I'm shure thatsh the date of Jon's funeral. Poor Shally-Ann," he said.

  I also felt sorry for Sally-Ann. She'd never better herself while she was hanging around her deadbeat family,. I felt somewhat responsible for that. If Shane hadn't gone missing, she'd have moved on by now. Instead she stayed out of some sense of loyalty to her alcoholic waster of a mother. The same mother who'd given her away in the first place.

  "Do you have any brothers or sisters, Alex?"

  His eyes were almost closed as I spoke and he sat up quickly.

  "No," he said.

  "What about your mum and dad?"

  "Dead. I have no one left."

  "Wow! That's hard on a young guy like you. I was the same at your age. Luckily I met Jonathan, and he and Frank became my family."

  "I don't mind. I'm okay alone. Beshides, I have you guys." He necked the rest of his brandy and settled back onto the sofa.

  We sat staring at him for a few minutes until he began to snore.

  I got up and nodded my head towards the kitchen, eyeballing Frank.

  He stood up slowly, his eyes not leaving Alex as he followed me to the kitchen.

  "Oh fuck, Frank. What are we gonna do? We've had it now. They'll investigate, and once he tells them about the bike and the tooth that'll be it."

  "Calm down, Victoria." His voice was harsh, so unlike him.

  My mouth snapped shut, as I looked at him, shocked.

  "There's no point getting hysterical. We need to stay calm."

  I nodded, my mind racing. I began pacing backwards and forwards.

  "We need to get rid of him," Frank said, calm.

  "How?" I spun round to face him.

  "How do you think?"

  I shook my head. Opened and closed my mouth, but no words would form. "No."

  "What choice do we have? He's the only one who saw Shane here. He saw the bike. He found the tooth. Without him, we're back to square one."

  "But this time it’s different—this would be murder."

  "What were the others if not murder? Don't be so bloody naïve."

  "One was self-defence, the other suicide. You said it yourself."

  Frank laughed. "The court won't see it that way."

  "But not Alex, Frank. He's lovely. We're all he's got."

  "Exactly. All the more reason to do it. No one will be looking for him."

  "No, Frank. No!"

  "Okay, it's up to you. I don't mind. My needs will be met in prison. I'll be fed, have a TV and a toilet. That's as important as things get for me. You, on the other hand, won't find it that easy. And where does that leave Emily?"

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "We have no choice, Frank. We've done wrong and we need to suffer the consequences. We should have known we'd get caught—no one gets away with murder—not really, not forever."

  "But what could go wrong, this one last time?"

  "Everything. Everything, don't you see? What if Stephanie comes home? Do we knock her on the head too? What if another tooth is found by the new farmhand? Because we can't manage the farm on our own. Do we just keep bumping people off as they get in our way? Where will it end?"

  "Make a choice then. I'll go whichever way you decide. But it needs to be tonight if we're doing it. As soon as Alex wakes up in the morning, he'll go straight to the police, and that will be end of the story."

  "Don't put it all on me. That's not fair," I said.

  "How's it not fair? I told you what I want to do."

  Loud snores came from the sofa.

  My senses were wired, and my eyes felt as though they were sticking out on stalks.

  "We could use his Proteum," Frank said, his voice soft. "He's not a thief or a bully. He's a lovely lad, so there’d be no problems with him giving Emily any badness."

  It was too much. I ran to the sink and brought up the contents of my stomach. I could smell the brandy, which made me retch even more. I splashed my face with water and used a spoon in the plughole to mash up the vomit lumps, which made me woozy once again.

  I needed to think. Frank was right—it would need to be tonight if we were to do it at all. Tomorrow would be too late.

  I couldn't believe I was actually considering it. This wasn't me. I was a kind, honest woman. A vet, a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law, a neighbour, a friend—I had enough labels. I didn't want to add serial killer to the list.

  I looked at Frank, who was still leaning against the bench, scrutinising me.

  "No, Frank—it's over. I can't do it. We're so much better than this.

  "Fair enough, come on—let's get to bed. You may as well throw a blanket over him—he's out for the count.” He placed his arm around my shoulders and we walked to the hallway. Frank headed for the stairs while I got a blanket from the airing cupboard.

  "Goodnight, lass."

  "Goodnight, Frank." I walked back into the lounge and pulled Alex's shoes off and swung his legs onto the sofa, before covering him up. He was out of it, and didn't feel a thing. I could do anything and he wouldn't even know about it, but how could we do what Frank suggested? This young man had been a part of our household for months now, for the best part of a year. He was lovely, no harm in him at all. I stroked his mousy brown hair, and then quietly left the room.

  Chapter 31

  Climbing the stairs I realised that this would possibly be the last time my life had some kind of normality. In Emily's room, I bent to kiss her curly head. My nose filled with her scent and I inhaled deeply.

  "I love you, my baby," I whispered, then walked to the door.

  "I love you too, Mummy," she whispered, and it almost broke my heart.

  I staggered down the hall into my room, sat on the edge of the bed, and cried. And cried. I leaned forward and picked up the photograph of Jon, Em and me together, taken at the beginning of the year. We looked so happy.

  So much had happened since then; I found it hard to comprehend. My darling Jonathan was gone, taken so suddenly and cruelly. I placed my fingers over his face. Then, for the first time, I noticed how tight he held on to Emily. He would have done anything for her. But would he have committed murder? I didn't think so.

  How would he feel if not doing it meant I would get locked up for years, leaving Emily to face the ravages of this awful illness alone, to die without any of us by her side?

  I placed the photo face down on the dresser and jumped up, ripping off my clothes and replacing them with jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt.

  I raced down the hall and tapped on Frank's door.

  He opened it right away, still fully dressed. I pushed in and shut the door behind me, leaning against it.

  "This has got to be the last time," I said. "The very last time."

  He nodded, "Okay, lass."

  "Promise me, that no matter what comes our way, we can’t go through this again. I don't even think we should take his Proteum. We should just get rid of him and make Emily comfortable and let her die in peace."

  "Why do it at all, if that's how you feel?"

  "Because once Alex opens his big trap, we'll be hauled off, leaving Emily alone. I can't allow that, Frank. If Emily was already dead, I'd have no qualms paying for the crimes we've committed, but not yet. And for all that I do love Alex, he's threatening my family, albeit unknowingly. Emily may have to go through this, but she deserves to have us around."

  "I can't allow you to waste his Proteum. If we're doing this we need to go the whole hog. What if they find a cure in the next few months?"

  I knew he was right, but it felt much worse this time. "Whatever, but we need to get it sorted out tonight—the whole lot. I won't have the energy to get up tomorrow and go about getting rid of him."

  Frank nodded. "Let's do it then. Have you thought of how?"

  "Yeah, I'll go to the clinic and get some anaesthetic. I'll inject him where he lies and move him after that."

  "Okay."

  "I'll do that now—meet you downstairs in ten."

  I raced off to the clinic. I didn't know how much he weighed, but I guessed he was approximately the same size as Shane. I made up the same amount and ran back to the house.

  Steve's Aston Martin was parked up on the drive outside the house.

  "Oh, fuck," I said under my breath, and slid the syringe up my sleeve. I smiled and waved at them both, trying to act normally before pushing the front door open and closing it behind me.

  Frank was standing in the hallway with his coat on.

  "Get that off," I said. "Steph's here. I'll put the kettle on."

  He shrugged out of his coat and hung it over the banister.

  "I have a bad feeling about this, Frank. Both other times, things went like clockwork but they were god-awful people and deserved everything they got. This time, it's me and you that are in the wrong."

  "Calm down, We've done nothing yet."

  I took a deep breath. "You're right." I filled the kettle then walked back into the hall and peeped through the window at Stephanie and Steve. They were still sitting in the car.

  I walked back into the lounge. "If they come in, stall them—I'm gonna inject this now."

  Frank stood in the lounge doorway, ready to head anybody off, if needed.

  I carefully slid the syringe from my sleeve and removed the lid. I squirted a small amount out of the needle. I then bent over Alex and took his hand in mine, stroking it for a couple of seconds before turning it over, popping the buttons on the cuff of his yellow shirt. He didn't even flinch as the needle pierced his skin.

  I pulled down his sleeve and covered him back up with the blanket, nodding at Frank.

  I made us a drink. Strong black coffee for me—I could still feel the effects of the brandy, although I'd thrown most of it up. Frank had tea. We sat at the dining table waiting for Steph.

  "I wish she'd bloody hurry up, or else I'm going to have a heart attack," I said. My hands were a twisted mass of fingers in front of me. "What could they possibly have left to say?"

  Frank chuckled. "I'm not an expert, but as far as I know, the first few hours of a relationship is the only time a man enjoys talking. Don't begrudge her this time."

  I laughed at him. "I've so underestimated you over the years."

  "In what way?"

  "I thought you were a simple man, no disrespect meant by that, but not complex—what you see is what you get. But I couldn't have been more wrong."

  "No—you were right, but needs must, lass. If your family needs you, then you dig deep and find the strength and the way forward, regardless of what hurdles life throws in your path. You just have to jump as high as you can to miss them."

  "What if we can't miss them? What if we fall flat on our face?"

  "Then we stand up, walk around and take a running jump at the next, and the next."

  "I wish I was as calm as you."

  "You're doing just fine, lass. Jon would be so proud of you."

  "Would he? I'm not sure—he'd probably report us to the police himself."

  "No way—he'd have done the same as you. Don't kid yourself about that. He loved that little girl with every ounce of him. If the choice was her life or that nasty Shane's, I know he wouldn't have hesitated."

  "I hope so."

  "Every parent would, lass. It's human nature to nurture and protect your own."

  "But Shane was somebody's son—that poor woman in the pub tonight."

  "She left it a bit late for her maternal instinct to kick in. She had her chance to protect him and steer him on the right path years ago, but she failed him."

  "What about Hector then?"

  "He took an overdose, lass. His mother will be spared the knowledge of that. There's nothing more cruel on a family than suicide."

  "Apart from not knowing—both of those parents will go to the grave not knowing what happened to their sons. Thank God Alex's parents aren't alive."

  He shrugged. "I can't help that, lass. All I know is we did what we did for our Em."

  The front door opened and Steph crept in, her shoes in her hands and her handbag hung from the crook of her elbow.

  "Hello, you dirty stop-out," I said.

  "Hi—sorry. You're not waiting up for me, are you? I had my key."

  "No. We sat up talking with Alex, and as you can see, he left the party early."

  She glanced around and laughed when she saw Alex under the blanket.

  "Did you have a nice night?" I asked.

  "I did—it was great."

  "And?"

  "And what?”

  "Are you seeing him again?"

  "Tomorrow. He's taking me to see the classic car he's just bought."

  "He's filthy rich, Steph. But a player—be careful."

  "I'm under no illusions. Does he own a decent amount of property then?"

  "An indecent amount, more like. Just watch out, that's all."

  "Don't worry, I'll play it by ear. Was Sally-Ann upset? I felt a bit awful."

  "She didn't seem bothered. She's only a kid anyway, much too young for him."

  "That's what he said. I still feel bad for her though."

  "She'll get over it," I said.

  "Right, I'm off to bed. Are you going up soon?"

  "Yeah, I'll just finish off the dishes and then I'll follow you up. Goodnight, Steph."

  "Night-night. Oh, by the way, what were you doing outside?"

  "I thought I heard a noise and I went to check if I'd locked up the clinic. I had."

  "Well, goodnight."

  We waited for another half an hour before doing anything. Then we got the wheelchair from under the stairs and manoeuvred Alex into it quite easily. He was completely unconscious.

  I ran to the clinic ahead of Frank once again. Frank arrived and helped lift Alex onto the operating table. He was much lighter than Hector but still quite heavy.

 

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