An Impossible Dilemma: A Psychological Thriller Novel, page 19
***
"You don't look too well, lass. Is something wrong?" Frank asked.
"Didn't sleep a wink. I'm okay though. Are you ready?"
Frank stood up from the table and folded his newspaper.
"Em, come on. We're going," I yelled.
Emily bounced down the stairs.
We piled into the car and headed to the hospital. We had to meet Doctor Wilson at his office again. My stomach gurgled and my head felt thick. I hoped I wasn't coming down with something.
***
Doctor Wilson called us in. I gestured to Diane to watch Emily and she nodded.
"Oh, Mrs Lyons, Could you bring Emily in with you this time?" Doctor Wilson said.
"Of course, come on, Em."
An Indian man sat behind the desk.
We sat opposite him and I returned his smile.
"This is Doctor Prajesh. He's come from Birmingham especially to meet Emily today," Doctor Wilson said as he sidled in behind the desk and pulled up a chair next to the Indian doctor.
"Hello, pleased to meet you. I've been looking forward to it," Doctor Prajesh said. His Brummy accent shocked me as I was expecting a sultry Indian lilt to his voice.
"You are very famous in our hospital, Emily," he continued.
Emily laughed nervously and looked at me, reaching for my arm.
I smiled, and nodded encouragement.
"We're all amazed at how well you've been, because you were very sick before, weren't you?"
Emily nodded.
Doctor Wilson cleared his throat. "We want to do a few more in depth tests this time,” he said. “Doctor Prajesh, has state-of-the-art equipment and will carry out these extra tests for us."
"What are the tests?" I asked. The familiar jittery feeling had returned.
“As far as Emily is concerned today, there will be little or no difference. The difference is in how we perform the tests and the information gathered. We will be taking a closer look into the cells, trying to work out what is going on at a deeper level," Doctor Wilson explained.
"Okay." I nodded, still none the wiser. I would have to allow them to go ahead with their tests. How would I explain otherwise? Plus, after a sleepless night, I'd come to the conclusion that even if they could go deep into the Proteum that's floating about in Emily's body, how would they know it wasn't hers? If Proteum was different from person to person, then not everybody's Proteum would work. They would have to match it, like bone marrow or blood. It was all pie in the sky anyway. They seemed clueless too, as if they were just hoping and praying for a breakthrough for this terrible illness.
"Did you complete the diary for me?"
"Oh yes." I dug out the notebook I'd completed from my bag and passed it to him.
"That's great. Okay, shall we get cracking?"
Back in Doctor Wilson's office later that day, both doctors were perusing a graph. We'd left Emily with Diane this time.
"I'm showing Doctor Prajesh all the test results from the very beginning. Showing him all the fluctuations, including today's.”
"So there are more fluctuations?" I asked.
"I'm afraid so. Have you noticed any signs with Emily at home?"
I shook my head. "No, not really."
"Her results aren't as bad as they have been but they are significantly decreased from two months ago. It's an absolute mystery. We've gone over the diary you did for us and at first glance we can't see any patterns with her food and behaviour. Which, to be honest, we didn't expect to find, yet we needed to rule that out. But we will have them properly analysed."
My stomach leapt to my mouth. I glanced at Frank and smiled. My hands knotted tightly in my lap, trying to control the tremors I felt.
"We've also had a report from Doctor Forbes. She agrees that the behaviour is likely due to the illness. She was quite taken with your daughter, by the way. She said Emily has higher than average intelligence."
I smiled and nodded.
"All these results will be compiled and added to the results from the tests Doctor Prajesh will do over the next couple of weeks. We don't know what will come of it, if anything. But Emily's got us all sitting up and paying attention, which can only be a good thing.”
After patting Emily down for unauthorised items, we left the hospital. Instead of going inside McDonalds we went via the drive-thru. Emily wasn’t happy about this but she didn't continue with her sulking once she had her Happy Meal.
***
Things had calmed down into a steady routine. Frank was amazing with Emily, and the old-school way he taught seemed to have her mesmerized. She even looked forward to her lesson times.
"Might have to make this a permanent solution." I laughed.
"I enjoy it, and in fact, I'm good at it. It's nice to be able to do something well for the first time in ages."
"You've definitely got the magic touch."
He smiled. "I don't know about going that far, but at least I have a reason to get up in the morning."
"Suits everyone, then." I hugged his neck.
The phone rang. It was Doctor Wilson.
"I have the lumbar puncture results and it's as I thought, Emily's figures have dropped again, quite considerably."
"Oh no …"
"I wouldn't worry too much. The way these results have been yo-yoing it's just as likely they'll have skyrocketed by your next appointment."
My stomach dropped. It was easy for him to be excited and hopeful. I knew the truth. The only way she'd get better results would be for some other poor person to die, and that wasn't going to happen again. We only had the decline of Emily's health to look forward to, and then …
Doctor Wilson interrupted my thoughts. "Doctor Prajesh is in the middle of his tests and we will hopefully hear from him by the beginning of next week."
"Okay, thank you."
As I replaced the receiver, the clinic mobile phone rang. "What the …" Stephanie hadn’t made an appearance yet this morning. I had a feeling it would be one of those days, even though it was barely eight o'clock.
I answered the phone.
"Victoria, Angela here. Sam asked me to call. We've got a heifer that's been caught in a barbed wire fence, and she's a mess. Can one of you come out soon?"
"Yeah, no problem. We won't be long."
"Steph," I called from the bottom of the stairs.
Stephanie appeared on the landing with a large white towel wrapped around her body and a pink one on her head.
"We've got a call-out. Anderson's farm. A heifer has had a fight with some barbed wire."
"Give me ten minutes and I'll be right with you."
"Are there any bookings this morning?"
"Not till eleven—do you wanna come along for the ride?"
"Why not?"
The Anderson farm was only a couple of miles down the road. A dairy farm with two hundred head of cattle. They always used us because our call-out charges were cheaper than using the vet in town, plus they were good friends with Frank.
Samuel Anderson was a white-haired, white-bearded Cumbrian whose farm had been passed down through the generations. Farming was all he'd ever known.
"Nice to see you, lass. I didn't expect to see two of you."
"Don't worry, Sam, we won't charge you twice." I winked.
He laughed. "That's not what I meant. How's Frank? Been a while since I've seen ’im."
"He's doing great, actually. Thanks for asking."
"Do you want a cuppa while Stephanie looks at the heifer? I know Angie would love to see you, and I know you ain’t too fond o’ cattle." Not many people knew of my fear of cows but Sam did, and he found it hysterical.
I pushed the door of the farmhouse open. "Have you got the kettle on?" I said.
"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Come in, come in, lass. I love your new hair-do." Angela Anderson jumped up from her armchair by the fire and hugged me tight.
"Thanks. It's probably due to be cut again by now." I patted at my hair, as if I could tell what it looked like by the touch.
"Oh, it is nice to see you, lass."
"You too."
She poured the tea from a huge teapot that sat on the range and placed the two cups between us on the table, as well as a plate of biscuits.
"Thanks, Angie."
She nodded and sat down opposite me, wiping her hands on her blue apron. "How are things since—you know—Jonathan?"
I nodded. "Surprisingly okay. Frank's been amazing, to be honest. A real rock. And Stephanie, well I'm lucky, that's all I can say. Without them, I'd be up shit creek."
"We all need ’elp. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to Sam. But I guess it's inevitable—none of us are getting any younger."
"Do you employ anyone?"
"Sam gets the odd guy in every now and then, but on the whole he does the lot ’imself. Works ’imself into the ground, he does, and fer what? I'd prefer to sell up now while we're still capable of enjoying what time we ’ave left. Do a bit of travelling and stuff. I've always wanted to go to Canada."
"I definitely would if I were you. Life's so short. Look at Frank. Never a day's sickness in his life and then, wham! A stroke. It's taken nearly seven years to get where he is now. He's doing great and able to fend for himself again, within reason, but was all the hard work worth it? He almost killed himself and what for? To leave all his hard-earned money to his only son, who beat him to the grave."
"No, but you will. And God knows you deserve it. Are you thinking of selling up?"
"To be honest, it never crossed my mind. Not a bad idea, though."
The farm still belonged to Frank, and although we’d discussed it when he first had his stroke, Jonathan refused to take ownership. Since Jon died we’d just got on with it, but for what? It didn't make sense.
Stephanie and Sam came into the kitchen like a couple of whirlwinds. "Get this lass a nice hot cuppa. She has the most nimble fingers," Sam said.
"Oh, aye. Do I have to worry about you two?" Angela laughed, raising her eyebrows.
"Don't be silly, woman. Everybody knows you're the love of me life." He turned his back to her, grinned and shrugged at us.
"Nice save, Sam," she said, and we all laughed.
***
Later on at home, I sat next to Frank on the sofa. "Have you ever considered selling up, Frank?"
"I've been thinking of nothing else since Jonathan died, but you've been managing okay and I didn't want to upset you.”
"It wouldn't upset me. I must admit, it never crossed my mind until today. Something Angela Anderson said when I was over there this morning."
"Do you think we should?"
"I don't know. It's up to you."
"Don't be daft, lass. It's up to us."
"It's your farm," I said.
"One that I haven't done a stroke of work on for over six years. It's our farm. Our farm. Our clinic. Our home."
"What would you want to do if we did?" I sat on the sofa beside him.
"I couldn't move into town into one of them shoeboxes. I've loved living in this house. It would be hard to leave but I guess we have to be realistic, lass."
"I'd have to find work and juggle Emily—for now at least." The weight of that sentence hung between us.
"Would you move back to Manchester?" Frank asked.
"Would you want to?"
"No, but you don't have to worry about me."
"Frank, behave. If the farm sold, all it would mean is we would find somewhere else to live. It would make absolutely no difference to us."
"I have no hold on you, lass. It's not fair. You shouldn't have to tie yourself to me now Jonathan's gone. You have your own life to live."
"Would you listen to yourself. Aren't we family?"
"Of course we are."
"Well, nothing is set in concrete. We just need to think things through. The farm is hard without Jonathan. Alex is amazing, but what about when he wants to move on? We'll be in a mess."
"Should be worth quite a bit. We own it outright, so wouldn't have to worry about an income."
"That's your money though, Frank. I'd still need an income."
"Now who's being daft? What will I do with it? Leave it in the bank until I die, and then you'll get the lot anyway."
"Don't talk like that."
"We have to be honest. You need to know your future will be set financially, whatever happens."
"What if, and it's a big if, because I don't know the legalities. But couldn't we just sell off the land? Keep the house and clinic and sell the farm buildings, stock and land?"
"I don't see why not. It's been done before. It wouldn't hurt to look into it and I'd love to stay here. This house has a lot of memories for me."
"Me too. I'll find out what I can tomorrow."
The next few days were hectic. I made an appointment with the council and had a couple of estate agents round to give us an idea of price if we were able to split off the land. There were some restrictions, but it looked as though it would be possible.
The other alternative would be to rent the land out, which might be a good idea in the interim; at least we'd get rid of the work and get an income for it as well.
***
On Sunday evening, while Emily bathed I changed the sheets on her bed. As I removed the fitted bottom sheet, I heard a clunk as something fell down the back of the bed. I shoved my arm down the gap and pulled out a red-jewelled pillbox. I unclasped the tiny latch on the lid and found two rings inside, a diamond engagement ring and a wedding ring.
"Emily!" I marched through to the bathroom.
Emily lay on her back, her head under the water, blowing bubbles. When she saw me standing over her she sat up quickly, coughing and spluttering, and sending water cascading all over the floor.
Once she'd calmed down, I held out the box. "Where did this come from?"
"Dunno?"
"Don't start that again, Emily. Where did it come from? If you don't tell me, we're not meeting your friends tomorrow."
"Aw, Mummy.” She began crying.
"Enough!"
She stopped, her beautiful eyes wide open. "From Auntie Lyn's."
Auntie Lyn was the next-door neighbour, Lynette Woods. She and her husband had been Frank and Barbara's best friends for years. Emily had gone over there with Frank a few days ago, and she must have taken it then.
"This looks expensive, Emily. Lyn must be very upset to have lost it."
"I'm sorry."
"Come on. Out.” I unplugged the bath and wrapped my thieving little daughter in a fluffy white towel. I dried her and she dressed herself in her pyjamas while I finished off making the bed.
"Tell Auntie Lyn I'm shorry."
“Pardon?"
“Tell Auntie Lyn I'm shorry."
It was starting again. The slurring was the first thing I noticed every time.
"I will, my baby. You get to sleep now."
It had been four months. The same length of time as before. I'd noticed her slurring when she was tired for a few weeks before the pub party.
I walked down the stairs and sat on the bottom step, my head in my hands. I missed Jonathan with an intensity I’d never known, but I felt angry at the same time. Angry with him for leaving me like this, and for being so careless on that fucking digger.
Tears poured from my eyes and my chest constricted, as invisible fingers squeezed every last bit of air from my lungs. I had to fight to inhale. A few minutes later, I wiped my eyes and walked through to the snug.
Frank was watching Antiques Roadshow.
"Are you okay, lass?"
"Yeah, but I just found this in Emily's bed." I showed him the pretty, red box. "It's Lyn's. I'm going to take it back there now. Will you listen out for Em? Steph's reading in her room."
"Of course I will, lass."
***
I knocked at the door and the hall light came on almost immediately.
Dave opened the door and seemed pleased to see me. "Come in, lass."
"Thanks, Dave. Sorry it's so late."
"It's not too late, we're just having a cheeky gin. Do you fancy a snifter?"
"It's been ages since I drank gin—it's all I used to drink when I first met Jonathan."
"Go through to the lounge and I'll get you one. Tonic and a slice of lemon?"
"Lovely."
Lynette sat on the sofa with her feet tucked underneath her. She beckoned me into the room and patted the cushion next to her. "What a nice surprise. Is this a social call?" Her eyebrows furrowed. "Is something wrong?"
"Not wrong. Well …" I took a deep breath before pulling the pillbox from my pocket. "I found this."
"Oh, Emily?"
I nodded. "I'm sorry."
"She's quick, I'll give her that. I hadn't even noticed it was missing. Are the rings still inside?"
"Yeah, they are. I found it in her bed."
"They were my grandmother's rings. I've had them for years." She opened the lid and smiled.
"She doesn't mean it. The specialist say's it's definitely her illness. She can't help it."
"It's hard on you."
"What is?" David said, handing me a glass.
"Emily, she's been stealing again." Lyn passed him the pillbox. "The doctor says it's her illness."
"Aye, lass. It's a terrible shame, so it is."
"We're coping. Frank’s been amazing. He's found his calling, helping Emily with her schoolwork."
"Aye, every cloud they say. We've noticed he's bucked up a wee bit."
"Did I see Jason Reid at your place this afternoon?" Lyn said.
I nodded.
"Thinking of selling then?" She raised her eyebrows.
"Just weighing up our options. It's difficult."
"I bet it is. You only have to ask if you need some help though. You know that, don't you?"
"I do, thanks, Lyn, and we appreciate it, but you have your own things to keep on top of."
"Did I tell you our Michael's coming home from Ireland next week?"
I shook my head. "No, how come?"
"He and Maria have finally broken up, for good this time. And although it's not a very nice thing to admit, I'm glad. They've not been happy for years."
