FavoriteObsession, page 10
“That’s good.” Josh sighed. “What’s wrong then? You look worried.” His heart skipped a beat as the next thought took hold. He forced his mouth to work. “Is it Mira?”
“She’s with Jazz. They’re both fine too.” Rafe ran a hand through his hair and blurted, “I like you, Josh. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Josh groaned. He rubbed the back of his hand over his face and turned away. “Don’t bother with the lecture. Your twin already delivered my warning.”
“Warning?”
The confusion in his voice caught Josh’s attention. He glanced over his shoulder. “That once Mira’s suitors are announced they’ll have the right to ensure her attentions aren’t diverted by the insignificant human using whatever means they see fit. Short of killing me, that is.”
One golden brow rose. “And you’re okay with that.”
“No, I’m not okay with it.”
He prowled the office, pacing from one end to the other. The itch had returned. He shoved away the worry about why before his heart started racing. Keep it together, dammit. He stopped and pivoted on his heel to face the predator. “I want Mira. Hell, I have since the moment I set eyes on her. That’s no secret.”
Rafe pointedly glanced at the empty bottle of whiskey on the desk. He slowly raised his gaze and stared at him. “So why were you passed out drunk and not getting ready for tonight’s meeting?”
He stopped and leaned against the empty bookshelf. “Why? So I can torture myself?”
“Jazz and Lena cornered me today. They think they’ve found a loophole in the Council’s order. It states Mira must choose a mate but doesn’t specify it has to be a shifter mate.”
Josh’s pulse kicked up. It was what he’d tried suggesting to Mira. He too had thought it the perfect solution until he’d found out about the prophecy.
“What does Mira say about it?”
“She admitted to them she can’t stay away from you. Kissing you in the bar triggered her instincts. You’ve seen what happens when our males’ mating instincts are triggered. For a female, it’s not as focused but no less powerful. She might fight the pull but she’ll fail.” Rafe sighed. “They hope a marriage to you will override the order to take a mate. They don’t want to see her hurt when she’s forced to mate another male and frankly, neither do I.”
The word ‘marriage’ didn’t even faze him. Hell, he’d take her to the courthouse today if that was what it took to lock her to his side, but nothing in his life worked so easily. Josh stepped back, the defeat forcing more bile into his throat. “But the prophecy?”
“Exactly.” Rafe studied him carefully. “But the prophecy never came with a time limit. Being with you does.”
“Being with me will hurt her.” It already had.
“Jazz and Lena think not being with you even for a little while will hurt worse. They had a phrase that convinced me to come out here and talk to you—better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all.”
Zoe said the same thing. She treasured the memories she’d made before she lost her lover. Still, Zoe’s situation wasn’t as fucked-up as his with Mira. The species difference became the deal-breaker.
“Just come.” Rafe tossed him the t-shirt Josh had taken off before he’d lain down. “Mira will need you. Just having you close strengthens her. She smells calmer when you’re around.”
Josh nodded. He didn’t have to ponder his answer. If Mira needed him, he’d go, even if it freaking killed him. His wants came second.
* * * * *
Josh sipped his third cup of strong black coffee. A jackhammer pounded behind his eyes and each smack seemed to echo in his head. With the visor down in the car, he squinted against the late-afternoon sunset. Relief from the shooting pain piercing his brain came with each little bit the sun slipped below the horizon. He breathed a sigh as darkness blanketed the countryside.
The ache in his bones had worsened since the disaster this morning when he’d bitten Mira. His earlier thought came back to him. He was getting old. No escaping it. It was part of life, for humans at least. The shifter driving didn’t have to worry about arthritis or gray hair. He’d forever look the same, exactly as he had the day he’d matured. Only thing he had to worry about was his hair. Why that grew while nothing else on his body changed, including his facial hair or lack of, Josh didn’t know nor did he bother asking. What was the point?
He sighed inwardly. No matter how much it angered him, he couldn’t ignore the facts. A mortal man could only keep up with the predators for so long before the limitations of his body held him back.
He peered into the visor mirror and groaned at the sight he made. He looked like death warmed over. Bloodshot eyes stared back at him. The stubble darkening his cheeks gave him an unkempt, gruff appearance. On top of that, he had the chalky look of someone who’d overindulged. The dark circles marring his face added to the overall image.
He dropped his head back against the seat. “I look like shit.”
“At least you no longer smell like day-old beer. Plus the cold shower cleared the dazed look from your eyes.” Rafe chuckled. “What were you trying to do? Drink yourself into oblivion?”
“Something like that.”
Quiet descended. The engine’s rumble and their breaths were the only sounds. The radio had gotten turned off within the first five minutes. Even on low, it had hurt his head. The handful of aspirin he downed hadn’t touched the pain. Not surprising really. With the amount of shifter blood he’d consumed over the past couple of months, human medicine didn’t work well for him. Actually without all the donations he’d gotten from the felines and the wolves, he probably would’ve died before Sara found him or at the very least, still been in the hospital recovering.
If Kade had known how many times he’d skirted death or serious injury, he’d have ordered him to stop participating in the popular brawls the shifters engaged in for fun. That wasn’t happening. He needed the outlet. At first, it had been to build his stamina so he could protect Megan. Then it had become necessary to deal with his sexual frustration.
From the moment he’d laid eyes on Mira, he’d become obsessed with her. Every day proved worse than the last. It’d gotten to the point he’d started carrying her picture around so he had some connection to her. The wrinkled print showed how often he took it out simply to look at her image. The nights were the worst. He dreamt of her. Woke up aching and stiff. His hand in the spray of cold water and the fights had been his only relief. But now?
“Do you think the Council will actually allow this?”
Rafe pulled the car onto the shoulder. With his gaze on the empty road, he slid his fisted grip from the bottom of the steering wheel to the top. “With the pressure from Shifter Affairs…maybe but I can’t guarantee it. Don’t forget they tagged on the qualifier. They want her kids.”
His elation fell with those words. The reality of their situation came rushing back.
“But I can never give Mira children.”
“No, you can’t.” Rafe turned in his seat and faced him. “I’m going to be completely honest with you, Josh. If you commit to this, you’re damning Mira to an eternity of heartache. She’ll have you for fifty or sixty years if she’s lucky. That’s it. When you die, all she’ll have are her memories—no children to love and no hope of reuniting with you in the afterlife.”
Josh swallowed around the lump in his throat. He’d been told the same thing dozens of times. It never got easier to hear. It also didn’t stop his longing. He needed her, but it was selfish to pursue her. Rafe was right. Once he died, Mira would be alone.
Or would she?
He cleared his throat. “She’ll be able to choose a shifter mate after I die, right?”
“Sure but with the way she looks at you, he’ll never be more than a breeding partner to her. Love isn’t an emotion many shifters understand until it hits them. When it does, our chosen one becomes our existence. It’s…mystical.” Rafe sighed. “I’ve known Mira a long time, Josh. She’s nothing if not stubborn. If she commits to you, no male will take your place in her heart. She won’t allow it.”
Josh stared out the window. The honorable choice would be to let her go. If he was out of the picture, Mira might find some happiness. Maybe fall in love with Aron. Have his babies, the ones their goddess predicted would change the world.
The tips of his fingers burned as rage rose. He squeezed his eyes shut against the haze turning everything red.
No. Fucking. Way.
“Drive, Rafe. I don’t want to be late.”
Chapter Ten
Mira paced from one end of the library in Kade’s house to the other. The built-in shelves sat empty and the walls remained unadorned, not a surprise. The home technically wasn’t finished. Only a handful of bedrooms, one bathroom and the kitchen were in working order. She took in all the details and without anything else to distract her, her strides quickened.
With her racing pulse and her rapid breaths, she hovered on the verge of an anxiety attack, a leftover from her teen years. For a long time after Edmund had raped her, the sight of any stranger sent her running for cover. She no longer feared being overpowered by a male. Long, hard hours of training with her brothers had ensured she could hold her own, but the automatic reaction to any threat still lingered. It embarrassed her. Unfortunately, as much as she tried to stop it, tense situations or strong emotions set her off.
She forced herself to stop pacing and peered out the big window overlooking what would eventually be the gardens. At the moment, the yard consisted of a lumpy dirt pile. Stacks of wood, tarp-covered stone and other building supplies sat neatly arranged near the far wall.
Thankfully, no construction workers roamed the grounds today. Although necessary, she hated hiding her inhuman traits. The survival of their species depended on it. For that reason, she did her part to keep their secret, except she’d made the biggest mistake of all today. She’d shifted and frightened a human, maybe even injured her. Not actually remembering what she did showed just how far gone she’d been.
She pressed her palms to her eyes and groaned. She still didn’t know who the woman was to Josh. When she’d asked Kade, he’d told her he took care of it. She was to meet him here to discuss her act of indiscretion. In other words, receive her punishment.
Mira tensed as the soft footfalls in the hallway announced her leader’s arrival. The door closed with a soft click. She waited another moment before she turned around. Her brows pinched at the sight that met her.
A shirtless Kade strode to the room’s only piece of furniture, a large oak desk. Deep claw marks bisected his chest. The wounds were healing before her eyes, but the shock came from seeing the evidence of whatever tussle he’d been involved in. Royals healed quickly so he’d either been injured badly or came straight from a fight.
“What happened?”
Kade didn’t answer. He opened the bottom drawer of the desk, removed a thick black towel and wiped the blood from his skin. With slow, controlled movements, he balled it and dropped the bundle to the floor. Arms crossed over his chest, he studied her with feline eyes—full, golden orbs. His intense stare pierced her. Knowing better than to challenge him, she dropped her gaze.
“I took your punishment.”
She glanced at him. “But why?”
“Because it is my right to shoulder my family’s pain.” Kade stormed toward her. Using a single finger, he tipped her chin up. “Why Mira? An inch more and you would’ve sliced her femoral artery.”
“I hurt her?” She tried to remember what had happened. Only her jaguar’s rage lingered in her memory. “How badly?”
He released her with a shove. She stumbled. Kade strode across the room. He pivoted on his heel once he reached the door. His chest rose and fell roughly. Claws slid from his fingertips, his hands enlarging to his werecat form with tawny hair sprouting over knuckles. Her inner animals responded to the threat, pushing to be set free. She forced them back. She deserved her pride leader’s wrath.
“The female needed stitches. Since she couldn’t go to the hospital, I had to intervene.”
Her stomach churned with the revelation of her sin. She swallowed the rising bile. “I am sorry you had to give her blood.”
Kade hissed and leapt the expanse of the room to land in front of her.
“She refused my gift!”
He panted hard. Fangs filled his mouth and the warmth emanating from his skin warned her he barely had control of his cats. Fear slithered into her belly, heaving the contents. She held her breath and waited.
Kade leaned closer so his hot breath washed over her face. “I was forced to lick them shut.”
She gasped.
Kade stormed away, his angry steps betraying his conflicting emotions.
“I am sorry, Kade.” She forced herself to respond. “Is Josh’s lover well?”
Kade stopped mid-step, jerked his head to glare at her. “The human is not Josh’s lover. Had you not given into your ridiculous jealousy, you’d have realized that.”
Trepidation settled over her, chilling her soul. “Then who is she?”
“His baby sister, Zoe.”
She covered her eyes and slid down the wall on a garbled moan. The sweet way Josh had spoken to her should’ve clued her in. There’d been tenderness in his voice, not lust. She’d written it off. In light of Kade’s revelation, it made perfect sense.
“Gods, I’m so sorry.” She dropped her hands and met Kade’s derisive glare. “I’m in your debt. I’ll take over the female’s protection.”
A shudder ran through him. He closed his eyes and groaned, the sound reminding her of a wounded animal. “You know I cannot allow that. She’s my burden now.”
She knew all too well the instinctual drive to watch over a beloved human. “She is well?”
Kade nodded. “She will carry your scar, but she’s fine.” He tilted his head. “Please tell me you you’re not actually considering mating him.”
Mira wasn’t sure how to answer that. She had thought about it but feared offering her response in the face of Kade’s anger. She must’ve debated too long. He slammed his fist onto the desk.
“Dammit, Mira. Why can’t you follow the rules? You cannot take a human male as your mate.”
“Not in truth, I know that.” She wasn’t about to admit how often she contemplated trying to tie Josh to her anyway. It’d be a death sentence…for both of them. The gods’ words were law. Unbreakable. She knew that. Still, desperation fed her doubt.
“Good.” he leaned across the desk separating them. “Keeping him as a lover would only label you as a damn fool too. Don’t even think about it.”
Her irritation got the better of her. She straightened her spine. “Why not? Josh is the first male who ever wanted me as a person, not as a breeder or something to use to get off.”
“Want you as a person?” Kade smirked. “Are you sure about that? Humans, especially males, will fuck anyone that gives them the time of day. You are not special to Josh.” Kade stepped closer. He took the chin he’d roughly held a minute ago and ran his thumb along her jaw, the soft touch at odds with the hard glint in his eyes. “Your beautiful, Mira. Sensual and sexy. You’re a goddamn walking wet dream. That’s what Josh sees when he looks at you—a damn fantasy. You are not someone he wants to marry.”
“So, you’re saying Josh doesn’t want me,” she swallowed and forced herself to add, “for more than a tumble.”
Kade smiled at her as if she were a child who’d finally figured out a basic concept of life. He patted her cheek. “Exactly.”
She clamped her teeth together to resist snapping at his fingers.
“I’ve given this much thought and blame myself for this situation. He’s been told over and over that he can’t have you. That makes the unattainable prize seem sweeter. While he didn’t get full sex, you gave him what many human males beg their females for. I imagine it’ll satisfy his curiosity. And honestly, after the stunt you pulled, I doubt he’ll feel anything toward you besides disgust. He’ll be glad he didn’t fuck you.”
The tremor in her limbs betrayed her anxiety. She feared the same. Kade wrapped his arms around her, tucking her smaller frame into the shelter of his. She buried her face in his shirt, needing the comfort he offered. Shifters were a touchy-feely bunch. At the moment, she hurt.
“I didn’t mean to upset you. You know I care about you,” Kade murmured into her hair.
He did. She’d been a member of his family’s pride since her thirtieth winter. Although fully mature, she’d been skittish. She’d needed constant reassurance. Kade had given it to her. He was the first male she’d trusted enough to have sex with but like all the other encounters she’d had over the years, it meant nothing more than the physical act. Actually, he was the last male she’d been intimate with too. They’d gone full circle and remained friends throughout the centuries.
Tears burning her eyes, she tightened her grip around his waist. “If you care about me, then why not fight the Council’s order? If you use the goddess’s prophecy as an excuse, we might be able to stop them.”
He sighed and stepped away from her. Stiffness tightened his shoulders. “I can’t. This has to play out. You must be mated. Sooner rather than later.”
Her cats picked up on Kade’s agitation. Each big predator focused on him through her eyes. “Why?”
Kade rubbed at the back of his neck, a nervous gesture many feline males shared. “I don’t want to be in charge, Mira. Rafe should head this family, not me. I don’t have the patience he does.”
Every muscle in her body tensed. It wasn’t like Kade not to answer her questions. Usually, he told the truth as bluntly as possible. Sensitivity, not his strongest suit. Dancing around the issue worried her. It bothered her inner spirits too. Each big cat began to prowl their metaphysical enclosure.
“The prophecy never came with a time limit.” She stated the fact hoping he’d elaborate on why he insisted her mating must happen now.
