The Yoga Zapper--A Novel, page 20
“And what if you have children?” continued the rishi. “The real question is this—are you ready to make a commitment when you have these unanswered questions in your life?”
Steve sat silently. He felt as if the bottom had dropped out from under him. “I haven’t thought about it like that,” he blurted.
“You both understand that marriage is a big step. A major commitment?”
“Of course,” replied Steve and Shanti simultaneously.
The rishi addressed his young daughter “My dear, I’m not here to tell you what to do or to come in the way of your love. I just want the best for both of you.”
Shanti nodded her head.
“Therefore I will not tell you what decision to take. The future is yours to decide. But both of you need to be sure that you are ready. The choices you make now will have consequences throughout your lives. So think through this seriously.”
Steve had to admit that Parvata Rishi, as usual, understood the situation clearly. The questions that had haunted him at his arrival in Mahavan returned in full force. How could he marry Shanti when his dilemma remained unresolved? Maybe he was not ready for marriage. He needed to be completely honest and fully committed. Anything less would not be fair.
“You have given me a lot to think about,” he admitted. He smiled at Shanti hesitantly but also reassuringly. “We need to discuss all things.”
The old man got up and touched him on the shoulder. “Yes, you do. A marriage begins with a million words. You both need to talk about this and all other things thoroughly. I cannot do this for you.”
Steve nodded his head. Things didn’t go as expected, but a lot of reflection lay ahead. They got up and walked to their tents to attend to their daily chores.
Chapter Twenty Five
Kallin’s Country Estate, End of Kali Yuga
Jack and Maya didn’t return to the estate until well past midnight. They entered his room and she climbed into the bed, pillows propping her up. They both fell into dire straits, having shelter neither in Kallin’s society nor with the rebels. The Rak slum appeared to be their likely destination.
He paced back and forth. He hit the bottom of his palm against his forehead. He had stupidly alienated the rebels. Even if he proved them wrong, they were his only shelter. Foolish and reckless again. This time, he risked not just his life.
Maya yawned. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing. Just thinking.”
“Walking around isn’t going to help. Just come to bed.” He ignored her and continued pacing.
“What’s gotten into you?” she questioned. “You’ve been in such a bad mood all day.”
He stopped. He couldn’t tell her that he wanted to get out; that he wanted to leave her; that he lost the connection. Another bit of memory returned. Of course! He felt like this several times before! At first he experienced passion but, after establishing a relationship, he would quickly lose interest. Crying, anger and insults followed and, finally, an ex-girlfriend rushing out the door. He hated to be a jerk, but he couldn’t help his feelings. He started walking yet again.
“Okay,” sighed Maya. “I’m tired of this. You can’t sleep and neither can I.” She got out of bed and sat on one of the two chairs next to the nightstand. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing,” he replied glumly. She trusted him, literally, with her life.
Her eyebrows knotted and frustration showed on her face. “I’m not stupid. Since yesterday, your attitude’s changed. It’s not the ruins or Kallin or the rebels. It’s you. You’re different, as if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
“It’s not like that.”
Maya’s eyes flashed. “No! It’s exactly like that! You think I can’t tell? When you’re nice, you’re charming, you’re funny, you’re cute. Now you’re as cold as snow. I deserve an answer!” She slammed her hand on the night table. “I demand an answer!”
Jack nodded. Yes, she required an answer. But where could he start? “It…It’s happened before.”
“What’s happened before?”
“With girlfriends.”
Maya observed him keenly. “What do you mean?”
Jack sighed. “I don’t know. After a while, I just lose the connection, the attachment.”
“And that’s how you feel about me?”
He always found this hard, where he hurt others. But nothing could be done. “I’m sorry,” he stated stoically. “I don’t love you anymore.”
She met his declaration with deep laughter. “We never had love. I won’t flatter either you or me to say so. We both know what it was, and love it wasn’t.”
Jack’s eyes widened, bewildered.
Maya pointed to the chair next to her. “Come sit down. I’ve been around men all my life. Nothing you say or do can surprise me. You asked me to take you to the ruins and I did. I trusted you, not out of naïveté, but because I had no other option.”
He tried again. “I’m sorry, it’s not you. I just get bored quickly. It’s not just girlfriends, it’s my whole life. I lose interest and move on.”
Maya laughed sarcastically. “You get bored huh? Did you think that maybe it’s something other than boredom?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, maybe, fear of commitment?”
He thought for a second. “I guess you could say that. But it comes to the same thing.”
“No, it doesn’t. If it is boredom, then maybe I’m boring. But if it’s fear of commitment, then it’s your fault.”
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s my fault.”
“And if it is an inability to commit, it makes sense that it is not just women, but other areas of your life, whatever they may be.”
Jack had to agree. She hit the nail on the head, but he couldn’t stick to one place, do the same thing, all the time.
“What did your family say?”
“I got the same lecture from my mom and my brother. Be responsible. Go to college. Get a job. Get married.” He paused. “But that’s just not me.”
“So you’re saying that they’re wrong?”
“Listen,” he protested. “It’s my life. I can do what I want.”
“Even if you keep hurting everyone?”
“If I hurt you. I’m sorry. But I’d rather be truthful.”
“I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about your mother and your brother. In fact,” she continued, “I don’t think there’s anyone you haven’t hurt.”
“I haven’t hurt my family!” he exclaimed.
“Are you serious? If you can do this to me, I’m sure you could do the same or worse to them.”
Jack sat dumbfounded. How could she say something like that?
“So I have commitment issues,” he admitted finally. “So what?”
“You’re missing the big question.”
“What’s that?”
“What happened to you that makes you this way?”
Jack straightened. “I…I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it like that.”
“Look in your life,” continued Maya. “The answers are there.”
Her approach startled him. She wasn‘t one of college girls he had dated. She saw through him, but the darkness still remained. He didn’t want to be with her. “Okay. But it doesn’t change the situation between us.”
“Well then,” shouted Maya, “how different are you from Kallin?”
Jack winced. “I can’t believe you are comparing me to him.”
“Really? Both of you used me for what you wanted. And you both got rid of me when you didn’t need me anymore.”
“It’s not like that at all!” he protested.
“It’s exactly like that! I’ve had enough. I can’t stand you!” She jumped up. “I hate you. I’m going back to my room.” She walked out the door and slammed it behind her.
Jack shook his head. The memory of Laura, his last girlfriend, came to mind. He vividly saw her doing the same thing. He went to bed and lay down, wondering about what Maya said. That he hurt everyone he knew? How could she say that? To look in his life? That’s something he’d never done, being too busy moving from one thing to another. He stopped. A feeling of not remembering something overcame him. Something in his gut told him she was right about hurting his family, but the memory lay hidden.
The rawness of Maya’s situation became clear; caught in a bind, she had no escape. Everyone in her life had abandoned her. He felt bad, guilty. She didn’t lead an ideal life, in fact, she became the mistress of a man she felt no love for but, despite that, she wasn’t jaded at all. A sudden tenderness toward her overwhelmed him and touched his heart. He turned the light off, covered himself with a blanket and lay awake, thinking.
* * * * *
He knocked on her door. The day just dawned. Maya opened the door.
“What do you want?” she asked icily.
“I…I want to talk to you. Can I come in?”
“You can tell me what you want from right here,” she stated, not budging. He understood her hostility.
“I came to apologize,” he ventured, “and to talk with you.”
She hesitated for a moment before letting him in. She wrapped her robe tightly around her and sat on a chair.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said last night. Maya, I owe you an apology. I’ve done some very stupid things and behaved like a complete jerk. I’m really, really sorry.”
She looked at him with startled eyes. “Okay, this is different.”
“You have the right to be angry at me but, in fact, you gave me the best advice—to look for answers in my life. I thought about it all night. For that, I sincerely want to thank you and hope you can forgive me.”
Maya’s jaw dropped. “This is the first time you have shown some sincerity.”
“I want to make it up to you.”
“How?”
“Let’s go back to the rebels. Right now, that’s the only option.”
“But the rebels hate you!”
“Yes, but they don’t hate you. I may have spoiled everything for myself, but you might still find a place with them. At least you can save your life, even if I can’t save mine.”
Her eyes widened. “You would do that for me?”
“Of course. I don’t like who I am; how I dealt with you. I want to be better than that. Let’s leave this morning right after breakfast.”
“You know, this is the first time you’ve been considerate of me, of my feelings. Actually, this is the first time any man has shown me some consideration. I really appreciate that.”
She got up, smiled, embraced and kissed him, a deep closed-eyes kiss. No sense of separation but just sweet union. Is this bliss? Is this love? Jack felt these questions but did not ask them. Consciousness returned, and for the first time, he made a true connection with her, something not fleeting, but real. He breathed deeply and beamed. He wanted to be with her again.
She ran her index finger over the cuts on his face. “Does it still hurt?” she questioned. Jack grimaced. His wounds still pained, but the discoveries of the previous day caused more agony. He visited the ruins to learn the truth of his antecedents and what he discovered left many questions unanswered. Could he go back? And did ‘back’ still remain? Let me try, he thought, let me share my secret with her.
“Maya, I need to tell you something.”
She sat on her bed. “Go ahead.”
He joined her and held her hands. “I don’t know if you will believe me, but I come from the place of the ruins. I lived in that country before the Throne of Abraham, the circular dome, and all the buildings were destroyed, maybe thousands of years ago. I lived there when the images of those beautiful people—those billboards—still stood.”
Maya’s eyes widened. “You’re from paradise?” she probed, her eyes dancing.
Jack rolled his eyes. “If you want to call it paradise, go ahead, I don’t care. I want to leave this place and go back to where I came from. I can’t explain it but, believe me, I came here by traveling through time.” He looked her in the eyes. “I’ll find a way back. And when I do, I want you to come with me.”
The thought of paradise brought her hope again. She smiled. “I know that some of the things you’re telling me contradict the rebels’ beliefs, but both of you agree that paradise once existed. The rebels want to bring it to the present and you want to go back to it. That’s the only difference.”
Jack nodded his head. “That’s pretty much it.” Even though Maya couched the statements in her own frame of reference, she captured its essence.
“Will you come with me?” he requested again.
She arched her right eyebrow. “You want me to live with you?”
“Yes,” he laughed. “We can have a nice home with a garden in front.”
“Okay, I’ll go with you to your paradise.” Maya chuckled. “How do we get there?” she asked, as if the key lay in the drawer next to them, waiting to be picked up.
“I will take you to paradise right now.” He pulled her down into the bed and kissed her deeply, tightly holding her body.
* * * * *
The doors flew open and in strode Kallin, Jini, General Contog, the national security advisor and two soldiers.
“Well, well. What do we have here?” mocked Kallin. “Our two love birds.”
Jack jumped up, his face pale and body shaking. Maya screamed and covered herself with a blanket.
“Oh, Hand of God,” shouted Jini. “What did I tell you? How can you trust this woman?” She ran over to the bed and pulled Maya to the floor. Maya sobbed.
“Get up,” yelled Kallin, stroking his beard angrily. Maya jumped up and stood next Jack, keeping her eyes on the floor.
Kallin walked over to Jack. “You fool, do you think I would stupidly trust you? I know where you’ve been and who you’ve talked to.”
Jack’s color drained from his face.
“Our spy satellites tracked you. We know everything you did and who you spoke to. You’re like a rat caught in our maze and you never had a chance.” He beckoned Maya to come closer. She shuffled over.
He grabbed her hair, pulled it over her head and examined the back of her neck. “Just as I suspected. She’s removed her DNA implant.” He hit her hard on the face. Maya gasped. Jack’s eyes burned and the hair on the back of his neck stood up. “Look around here for it,” Kallin commanded.
It didn’t take long to locate it, still sitting in the dresser drawer. Jack quickly glanced at Maya. They had been extremely careless.
“Shoot her,” Kallin ordered.
Jack grabbed Maya. “Leave her alone.”
Kallin laughed in obvious delight. “How touching! Our golden boy fell in love with the slut.”
Jack’s face reddened. An electric surge of anger washed over him and his breath came shallow and fast. “Whatever she is, she’s better than you.”
They all stood still, shocked. No one had ever addressed the Hand of God so boldly.
“What are you doing?” asked Maya quietly. “Forget about me. Save yourself.” Jack peered into her eyes. They shocked him. Her pupils looked lifeless, as if nothing existed behind them. Death wrote itself all over her body and the soul seemed already departed.
“No,” stammered Jack, “I’m going to protect you. I’m sorry, I caused all this. It’s my fault.”
Maya shook her head. “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it? The way you behaved, it was bound to happen sooner or later.”
A shiver of self-disgust shook Jack. Maya spoke the truth. He hated himself.
“The fact is, the Hand of God has won, as he always does.”
Kallin nodded his head, smiling, enjoying himself.
“And the only reason he isn’t getting rid of you is because you have something he wants.”
Jack managed only a peek at the Hand of God. Kallin’s face hardened. “I haven’t proved it yet, but I suspect that you must be the mole. The rebels attacked me the first day we spent together and I also know that it was your idea to visit the ruins.”
“But I fought with the rebels,” exclaimed Jack.
“I know. But there’s something strange about you. A mystery to get to the bottom of.”
Kallin pointed at Maya. “Get her.”
The two soldiers jumped forward. Jack pushed Maya behind him, shielding her. He swung hard, catching the first soldier flat on his chin. The man slumped to the floor. The second soldier’s rifle butt smashed on Jack’s forehead. Jack grunted and fell. Blood spurted and flowed down his face. The soldier re-positioned his rifle, ready to shoot. Jack jumped up and grabbed the weapon just before it went off. He kicked hard, hitting the guard right in the face. The man crumpled like a rag doll. Kallin and the others jumped back.
“I’m going to get you,” shouted Jack rushing at Kallin.
The chief of police immediately drew a weapon from his belt, as did the national security advisor. Kallin screamed in fear, but just as Jack reached him, a shot of purple energy hit him right in the gut. He dropped to the ground shaking, his breathing coming in gasps, and after a few moments, lay stiff as a board, teeth gritted with pain.
Kallin, shaking, scratching his beard in fear and anger, his eyes twitching uncontrollably, kicked Jack’s inert body right in the ribs. “You stupid dog,” he growled. He looked at Maya. “Arrest her!”
The national security advisor ran over and slapped a pair of handcuffs on her. Kallin reached into his pant pocket and handed him a small golden handgun, about five inches long, with several notches on its stock. The advisor dragged the pale, shaking woman into the garden. A moment later a blast echoed into the room.
* * * * *
Central Prison, End of Kali Yuga
“Get up,” commanded a voice. A switch turned on, filling the prison cell with cold, harsh light. Jack rubbed his face, compelling his eyelids to open. They remained shut.
“Get up,” ordered the voice again. Jack forced his eyes to open. A fluorescent bulb burned into his pupils. Jack lay on a cot jutting out of a white-tiled wall. The cell measured about ten by fifteen feet with a steel-barred gate in front and, at the other end, a small bathroom. He placed his bare feet gingerly on the gray cement floor and stood up. A shooting pain seared up his left leg and into his thigh.
