The Call (Another Love Book 2), page 21
“I’m sorry. It’s just how I’ve always dealt with stuff.”
“Well, now we deal together, okay?”
“I’m just trying to keep our little bubble perfect.”
Sam snorted. “Perfect? Baby, it’s been far from perfect…but it doesn’t need to be.”
“But it should be.” Perhaps this was Luciana’s downfall. She’d never been in a real relationship before Sam. She was trying too hard, and Sam really didn’t need that. She just needed honesty and commitment. If she had those things, life was perfect.
“Look.” Sam sighed, running her hand through her hair. “What I’m saying is…I want to know everything, okay? If you’re upset or angry, come to me. I can’t be there for you if you walk around daily telling me you’re fine. Our future just became concrete. I’m going to be your wife, Luce. If we can’t talk about what’s bothering us or if we’re mad at one another, how is it ever supposed to work?”
“I’m not mad at you.” Luciana’s brows drew together.
“I know you’re not, but when you are…it’s okay to be.”
Luciana was shocked. She didn’t know where Sam’s little speech had come from, but it had clearly been affecting her to come up now. She exhaled. “Okay.”
“Promise me?”
“Yeah. I promise you.” Luciana squeezed Sam’s hand. “But I am okay. If something was troubling me, I’d talk to you.”
“Okay, I believe you.”
“Now, we should eat up so we can spend the day outside together. You’ll let me know if you’re not feeling up to it, though?”
“I’ll be fine. And while we’re out, I’d like to discuss something else with you.”
“Oh, God. What have I done now?” Luciana’s fork clanged on her plate.
“Nothing, except for be amazing.” Sam winked in Luciana’s direction. “This is about Lindsay and Cheryl.”
Luciana threw her hands in the air. “Finally. I thought you’d never have anything to say about it.”
“Trust me, I have a lot to say about it.”
Luciana got up from the table; she needed more bacon. Sam suddenly placed her hand on her wrist. “Hey, seriously. Stop being so strong around me. You’re putting me to shame.”
“You’re the strongest person I know, babe. You have nothing to worry about.”
Luciana shoved her hands in her pockets, taking the incline up the hill with ease. She followed behind Sam, worried that she was in some discomfort, her heart in her mouth as Sam stumbled towards the top of the hill. She caught her, reaching out swiftly to prevent Sam from falling face first into the soft ground. Things were certainly getting better, but not soon enough. Sam released a frustrated groan, offering Luciana a thankful squeeze of the hand as they reached the top of the peak they’d spent twenty minutes walking up.
“You good?”
“Yeah.” Sam straightened herself out, squinting as the sun caught her eyes.
“Maybe we walked too far,” Luciana said. “I know you like to do as much as you can, but this is supposed to be a relaxing break. You don’t look very relaxed to me.”
Sam ushered Luciana towards a rock, taking a seat on it as she looked out over the Yorkshire Dales. Deep green rolling hills calmed Sam, only the sound of the whoosh of the breeze around them. This really was the picture of a peaceful life, even if Sam didn’t feel peaceful inside.
What was changing about her? She’d always been used to running around—stressed—so why did she no longer want to feel that way? Why did she dread the thought of going home?
“Babe?”
“Mm?” Sam’s eyes fluttered open and closed as she turned her head.
“Are you okay?”
Sam chose to refrain from going deeper into how she felt. It may be hypocritical of her since just this morning she’d insisted that Luciana be more open about her own struggles, but Sam’s own issues could wait. She felt too anxious to discuss it right now. “Lindsay and Cheryl.”
“What about them?”
“We need to figure out how to get them back together, Luce.”
Luciana grimaced. “Do we?”
“I do, at least.”
“And why do you feel as though you have to do that?” Luciana lifted the hood on her jacket, preventing the chill that was about to roll down her spine. The sun was deceiving today. “I mean, don’t you think we’ve done enough meddling in Lindsay’s life lately?”
Sam wrinkled her nose. “Is that what you think?”
Luciana exhaled slowly. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m just worried that Lindsay doesn’t want us to get involved. I would also understand completely if she felt that way.”
“She broke things off with Cheryl because of me, Luce. The least I can do is try to get them back together.”
“I still can’t believe you didn’t believe me the other month when I told you something was going on between them.”
Sam’s shoulders slumped. “I’ve been busy.”
“Hey, that wasn’t a criticism.” Luciana wrapped her arm around Sam’s shoulder, pulling her closer. Sam appeared to be off today; she clearly had things on her mind. “Is everything okay with you?”
“Of course, why?”
“You seem…different. Distant.”
Sam suddenly felt light-headed, an unease rising from deep within her. “Sorry.”
Luciana’s heart suddenly sunk. Last night had been emotionally taxing before they took things to the bedroom. In the cold light of day, was Sam having second thoughts? Surely not. Luciana also didn’t quite know how Sam felt about her going to Lucia’s grave. Sam hadn’t really spoken much about it at all, but Luciana had noted the look on Sam’s face when she told her. One of uncertainty. Had she completely stepped out of line?
“Sam?”
“Yeah?” Sam rubbed her hands up and down her thighs, breathing through the tingle that coursed through her body.
“About last night,” Luciana started. “The proposal.”
Sam’s lips twitched upward, relaxing Luciana momentarily.
“Did I overstep? You know, going to visit Lucia’s grave. Saying the things I did?”
“No, beautiful.” Sam lay her head against Luciana’s chest. “No, you didn’t.”
“So, what’s on your mind?”
“Just everything.”
Luciana’s phone pinged. As she removed it from the inside pocket of her jacket, she found a voicemail waiting. “That’s odd.”
“What?”
“I have a voicemail, but I don’t remember my phone ringing.”
“Poor reception in some parts…”
Luciana listened to her mailbox. She had one new message.
Sam studied Luciana’s face, an apparent relief washing over her features. Something in her eyes had changed; something had happened. Luciana appeared to be smiling on the inside, her intense blue eyes shining against the bright sunlight, but Sam had no idea what was going on.
Luciana released a deep breath as she ended the message.
“It’s over.”
Sam swallowed hard. “What is?”
“Janet. She will be serving at least the remainder of her sentence behind bars.”
“Thank God.” Sam hadn’t expected to feel such a weight lift from her. It wasn’t exactly her story. But it had; it had lifted and now she felt as though life could settle down. Janet wouldn’t be around for the foreseeable and Luciana was safe. So was Lindsay.
But then Sam’s chest suddenly began to heave, her breathing compromised.
“Babe?”
“O-oh, God.” Sam’s chest tightened, her hand clutching at her zipper. She needed her coat off. She needed everything off. “L-Luce.”
“Babe, it’s okay.” Luciana got down on her knees in front of Sam, helping her lower the zipper. Sam was having a panic attack—one Luciana hadn’t expected. She took Sam’s hand, placing it against her own chest, directly over her heart. “Concentrate.”
“I-I can’t.” Sam gasped for breath.
“You can.” Luciana had Sam focus on her eyes, the sensation of her heart beating beneath the palm of Sam’s hand. “Feel that? Breathe slowly, Sam. Feel my heartbeat and focus on that.”
Sam closed her eyes, her entire body shaking. This was new for her. She couldn’t say she’d ever had a panic attack before, and she definitely didn’t want to experience one ever again.
“Breathe.” Luciana’s soft voice was helping. Sam didn’t know why, or how this had happened, but having Luciana here was helping. “I’ve got you, Sam. Just breathe.”
Sam felt her body relaxing slightly, the sudden coolness in the air causing her to shake excessively. Whatever was currently going on with her body, Sam wasn’t here for it.
Luciana moved closer when Sam’s body started to slump against her. Her fiancée was worn out, mentally and physically. This had been too much for her today, even if it was just a quiet walk with some fresh air thrown in for good measure.
Sam sobbed into the side of Luciana’s neck, uncontrollably. She didn’t want to be out in the countryside any longer; she needed to be locked away. Until when she didn’t know, but she had an overwhelming sense of anxiety rushing through her. “W-we have to go.”
“Okay. Just give yourself another couple of minutes to calm down. Then we will leave.”
“Okay.” Sam spoke barely above a whisper, Luciana’s body almost taking her full weight. “Another minute and then we’ll go.”
19
Luciana draped a thick blanket over Sam, the sound playing low on the TV in front of them. She should prepare dinner, clean up their mess from this morning, but she struggled to leave Sam’s side. Today had worried Luciana, truly frightened her, but she couldn’t show Sam that. She couldn’t confess that she was worried about her.
Sam was proud, strong. Sam was usually everything that she didn’t appear to be today. Instead of leaving her alone, Luciana sunk to her knees at the side of the couch, placing a kiss to Sam’s temple. She was sleeping, her breathing even and sound, but it didn’t quash the worry inside Luciana. In this moment, she wasn’t sure anything could.
She lifted her phone from the coffee table, a message from Lindsay displayed on the screen.
L: You two enjoying your break together?
Luciana chose to ignore it for the time being. She should speak directly to Lindsay, not via text message, but doing so would likely wake Sam. As they’d walked back this afternoon, Luciana felt the heaviness inside Sam. She also felt it in the way she carried herself. Tired. Shattered. Lifeless, in some way. Luciana didn’t know why Sam had reacted the way she did to the news of Janet, but she had been under a lot of stress lately. In some way, it was foolish to even consider that a break away would solve everything. After the last couple of weeks, it would take a lot more than a cottage in the countryside to fix anything.
“I don’t think you realise how much it means to me having you by my side.” Sam’s voice was barely audible, her eyes closed. “But it does. It means the world.”
“Try to sleep, babe.” Luciana fixed the blanket over Sam’s feet, covering her hands and bringing it up to her neck. “You don’t need to explain anything right now. I just want you to rest.”
“I thought I was over the worry of being outside.”
“Sam…”
“When I was out with Lindsay at the office, we went into town.”
“I know.”
“But we didn’t stay long. I couldn’t bear to be outside any longer. I started to panic, but nothing like what I experienced today.”
Luciana sighed. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“You had stuff going on. Janet had just been to the house. You didn’t need to know.”
“I did need to know.”
“I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I was in the middle of nowhere. Nothing was going to hurt me.”
Luciana watched Sam’s eyes flutter open, a little more life in them than earlier. “Maybe it had nothing to do with being outside.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You had that attack when I got off my voicemail,” Luciana explained. “Maybe it was something to do with everything that’s been going on lately, I don’t know.”
“I didn’t feel so good before you took that call.”
“Oh.”
“It wasn’t anything I thought I needed to worry about. Clearly, I was wrong.”
“We shouldn’t have gone out today. I just thought some fresh air would do you good. You’ve been cooped up for a while and I know that’s not you. I’m sorry; I thought it would help.”
“Hey…” Sam lifted up, resting on her elbow as she drew Luciana closer, their lips caressing. “I wanted to go out with you today. I’ll always want to be with you.”
“Okay, but no more until you’re feeling better.”
“Yes, darling.” Sam’s fingers curled beneath Luciana’s chin, smiling against her lips. Her episode today had truly worn her out but being back in the comfort and safety of the cottage had lessened that anxiety. “Why don’t we call Lindsay and Cheryl? Invite them here.”
“Mm, I don’t know if that will work.”
“Cheryl is my assistant. If I ask her to join me, she will.”
Luciana raised an eyebrow. “And Lindsay?”
“You can call her. Invite her over. I’m sure she could use something like this to take her mind off Janet.”
“Crafty.”
“But a good idea, wouldn’t you agree?” Sam smirked.
“Of course. Anything you say.”
Luciana monitored Sam for a moment. Was she truly feeling better now that they were back here? Luciana couldn’t be sure of that but having company could only keep Sam’s mind occupied. That in itself was good enough to settle Luciana’s own mind.
“So…”
Sam’s voice shocked Luciana from her thoughts.
“What?”
“Are you going to call Lindsay?”
“Whatever you desire.” Luciana exhaled, climbing from the floor beside the couch and taking Sam’s phone from the kitchen counter. “You should call Cheryl first. If she’s not available at short notice, it’s a waste of time.”
“She’s here.” Luciana pulled back the curtain and watched Cheryl’s car slow to a stop on the driveway. “I can’t believe she just agreed to drive up here.”
“I pay her a good wage. Cheryl would show up in the middle of the night if I asked her to.”
“I still can’t get over the fact that her and Lindsay thought you would fire her. Do they really think you would do something like that?”
Sam sighed. “Clearly, they did. But I’m going to put that right. Would you mind if I had five minutes alone with her? You can keep an eye out for Lindsay.”
“Can do. She texted me a while ago. She should be here soon.”
A loud knock on the thick oak door startled Sam, alerting her to Cheryl’s presence. Cheryl believed she was here to update Sam on the comings and goings of the business, but Sam couldn’t care any less about the office lately. If she pushed the place from her mind, she felt better for it.
Sam opened the door, instantly enveloped by Cheryl’s arms. “Oh, my God. It’s so good to see you, Sam.”
“Whoa.” Sam laughed, wrapping her own arms around Cheryl. This wasn’t their usual relationship, but it was nice seeing her assistant. “Come in. It’s getting a bit chilly out there this evening.”
“How are you? Feeling better?” Cheryl asked, moving into the living room. Her eyes scanned the space, landing on Luciana who was curled up on the brown, leather couch. “Hi, Luciana.”
“Hey. How was the drive?”
Cheryl slung her satchel to the floor, dropping down into a seat. “Quiet.”
“We got stuck behind an accident on the way up here. Didn’t look too serious when we drove past.”
“That’s the M6 for you.”
“Hate it. Nothing but trouble on that stretch of motorway.” Luciana eyed Sam; she was chewing her bottom lip. “Everything okay, babe?”
“Yep. Perfect.” Sam rubbed at her forearm, a crooked smile on her mouth. “Cheryl, should we go through into the kitchen?”
“Whatever works for you, boss.”
Sam shook her head, laughing. Cheryl always was overenthusiastic when she believed she needed to be. “Did you want coffee or something stronger?”
“Oh, I’m driving.”
“We have plenty of space here if it turns into a drinking session. Unless you had somewhere to be?” Sam studied Cheryl as she pulled herself up onto a stool. She was trying to place the name of the woman she usually dated, but it escaped her. “You and thingy still dating?”
“Bex?”
“That’s the one.” Sam uncorked a bottle of red wine, setting it on the island and allowing it to breathe. Cheryl didn’t appear to care for Bex at the mention of her name; that could only work in Lindsay’s favour.
“No. It was just a casual thing anyway, but she’s been seeing someone else. They’re exclusive now.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Honestly, it was always going to happen. I wasn’t all in with her…I had other things on my mind.”
“Other things, or other people?”
“Well, the business more so than anything else.” Cheryl toyed with a stack of Post-it notes on the counter, lifting her head and finding Sam’s eyes. “How are you?”
“Feeling much better. Still aching when I wake up but compared to last week, I’m feeling like myself again.”
“It must be nice having Luciana by your side. Losing your hearing can’t have been pleasant.”
“My anger was what bothered me more than anything. God, I was a bitch.”
“Sam Phillips, a bitch?” Cheryl smirked, quirking an eyebrow. “I’ve never heard the two in the same sentence.”
