She swallowed hard, hearing the gulp in her ears, wondering if they heard it too. Releasing her purse with one hand, she grabbed her soda and took a long drink, needing the cold liquid to cool her off and give her time to steady her wildly racing pulse.

  Connor didn't let go of her other hand, though. Instead, his thumb began to trace slow but steady circles on the back of her hand.

  He might as well have been stroking her clit, for all the effect it had on her body. It was everything she could do to keep her hips from bucking on her barstool right there for everyone to see.

  Shit. She had to get out of there.

  Tearing her hand free, she jumped to her feet and hurried out of the bar, through the restaurant and out to the sidewalk, only to realize she had no ride. She was so used to riding with Kate everywhere and the car just being there at the curb.

  Hastily, she walked down the sidewalk while searching for the Uber app on her phone to call for a cab.

  But seconds later, two warm hands on her elbows brought her to a lurching stop. They hadn't even tugged on her. Her own traitorous feet had automatically stopped on their own volition.

  She closed her eyes and tried to breathe deeply, to regain control over her body.

  "Was last night good for you?" Connor demanded, showing the first real unraveling of his own control since she'd gotten here.

  Well, at least she wasn't the only one struggling for control.

  She hesitated then nodded.

  "Don't you want more? Aren't you curious to know what more there could be? Because I know I damn sure am," Connor growled.

  "Me too," Jaime said quietly from her other side.

  "Why not give it a chance, see where it goes?" Connor said. "What's the risk?"

  "What's the risk?" she said on a mirthless laugh. "Everything. My job. Jamie's. Your business and everything you've worked so hard to build—"

  "Fine. If you being my employee is the problem, then you're fired." She gasped and looked up at Connor in shock, only to find his emotion was completely unconcerned but impatient. "Now will you have a damn dinner with us?"

  "N-no!" she managed to stutter out, pulling her elbows free from their touch.

  "Then if it's not just about the job, then what the hell is it?" Connor burst out through clenched teeth.

  She realized for the first time how tense his body language was. Reading him as if he were a client, she saw his hands in fists at his sides, the way his shoulders were tight with tension and restraint, his back so ramrod straight it had to be uncomfortable.

  This really mattered to him. He wasn't just trying to seduce her into another fling with the two of them.

  He wanted more. More than just sex?

  She licked her dry lips. "People could get hurt. One of us, I mean. Maybe all of us. And I don't mean just physically. This could…it could be a disaster in the making."

  Her throat tightened painfully, making it a struggle to breathe. But she held his gaze, needing the both of them to understand her, to hear her clearly and back off. Because she wasn't sure how much longer she could resist what they were all but begging from her.

  It would have been so much easier to resist if all they had wanted was the sex.

  "Give us one more night," Jamie whispered, brushing a knuckle down her upper arm, making her shiver with need. "At the end of it, if this isn't what you want, we'll never bring it up again."

  She could feel herself teetering right on the edge. On one side, the cliff she stood on, was her normal life. Planned out. The path easy to see and follow. She knew where she would be in five years, ten years, twenty years, on that path.

  What they were offering was like stepping off that cliff. She had no idea how far the fall would be, or where she might land, or if she would survive whole and intact if she took that step. But it would be anything but boring or predictable. It would be exciting, unplanned. An adventure.

  Would her heart survive?

  She closed her eyes, nodded, and took that step over the edge.

  ***

  She thought they'd want to go by her apartment to pick up her "naughty librarian" outfit, as she was starting to think of it thanks to Connor. But Connor shook his head, his hands confident on the steering wheel of his car as he drove them to the edge of town, stopping in a parking garage beneath what she'd always thought was an industrial building. It turned out to be a former industrial building now being renovated into loft style apartments.

  Connor's was on the third floor. She could tell Jamie had been there more than a few times, judging by how he didn't look around much and was the first to punch the floor button in the elevator.

  They passed through a wide hall with bright white walls and slate gray flooring, quiet until they stopped at Connor's door. He flashed her a quick smile as he unlocked the door, then swung it open and allowed her to step in first.

  Jamie took her hand, eager to lead her around and give her the short tour, pointing out the view from the windows after he grabbed a remote to raise the pleated shades. Connor just stood back and watched them, his hands stuffed casually into his slacks as Jamie practically dragged her into the kitchen, where he swore Connor was an amazing cook. When she turned to look back at Connor with raised eyebrows, Connor just shrugged, his expression relaxed but unreadable.

  The floors were all gleaming black polished granite with a subtle sparkle, the walls paneled in gray washed wood. It looked like a Renovation Hardware photo shoot, polished and upscale but surprisingly comfortable and livable.

  When she said as much out loud, Connor grinned. "I might have checked out their site once or twice."

  He stepped closer to her, his gaze turning intense again, and she froze, wanting so many things so much and all at once that she couldn't even move.

  "What do you want, Madison?" he whispered, closing the distance between them with hunter-quiet steps.

  Then she felt Jamie come up behind her but not touch her, just letting her feel his nearness at her back. An offer, not a demand or even a challenge.

  It was completely up to her to decide.

  What did she want?

  Connor stood just inches away in front of her now. He slowly reached out to caress her cheek, cupping its curve and brushing her skin with the pad of his thumb.

  She closed her eyes. "I want…"

  Fingertips ghosted over her other shoulder, down the length of her arm, then laced with her fingers. She closed her hand, tightening her hold on those warm, strong fingers, wanting to hold on as tightly as she could and never let go, and simultaneously feel them everywhere on her body at once.

  And then it hit her. If she were really in control here, if she could script out this moment any way she wanted, she would want music. It had been the perfect move when Connor had plugged in his phone into the playroom's sound system last night. Ending the silence with sexy music was the perfect first step.

  "Music," she whispered. "Something slow and sexy, like last night."

  "On it," Jamie whispered, robbing her of all that heat at her back as he went to a nearby wall. She didn't follow his movements visually, letting the start of the music surprise her when it began to pour sensuously through the air all around them from hidden speakers.

  "What else?" Jamie asked as he returned to them. "Dancing?"

  A smile tugged at her mouth. "Yes, actually." She let the smile have its way with her face as he took her hands and spun her into his arms, making her laugh. He dipped her like some old-fashioned movie star, and she let her head fall back for a second, before he pulled her upright then spun her out and into Connor's waiting arms.

  She pressed her palms against Connor's chest, her smile fading at the intense look on his face. But then his lips curved into a smile, and she found herself smiling again in return as he rocked them from side to side, his style simpler but no less deadly to her nerve endings. He surprised a gasp from her as he suddenly swiveled their hips together into a figure eight while bending their knees. Instantly she could feel her nipples pebbling inside her bra, aching for freedom and his mouth on them.

  He reached up, took her wrists and raised them up into the air while doing that hip swivel move again to lower their bodies. As they rose back up, Jamie's hands slid into place at her hips then slipped up her sides, just brushing the sides of her breasts. When they all stood straight again, Jamie pressed close against her back, letting her feel his growing erection against her ass as his palms slid around to rest on her stomach.

  She let her head drop back onto Jamie's shoulder, her eyelids lowered but still open so she could watch their hands and Connor's broad shoulders and the look on his face, so determined, thinking so hard.

  She raised her head, leaned forward on tiptoe, wrapped her arms around Connor's neck and whispered against his cheek near his ear, "Stop thinking so loudly. Your brain's practically shouting right now."

  He let out a single chuckle and kissed her cheek, then kissed his way down the side of her neck. "I want you to be happy with us. I want us to give you heaven, everything you could ever dream of, and more."

  "Is that all?" she said with a soft laugh as his lips tickled her skin beneath her ear.

  Jamie brushed her hair to the side, baring more of her neck and shoulder so he could kiss the back of her neck and down her spine, making her shiver again.

  Fingertips brushed the tops of her shoulders, and suddenly her dress was free and slithering down her body like a caress all its own, puddling at her feet. Four hands at her hips and elbows kept her perfectly balanced while she stepped out of it in nothing but her bra and panties and naughty librarian shoes. She would never be able to think of them in any other way now.

  Then Connor took her hand and led her up the stairs, Jamie holding her other hand and following closely behind with his free hand on her hip as if he had to feel the sway of her body with each step she took.

  The loft bedroom had a full view to the rest of the apartment below over a frosted glass and metal railing banister. The king-sized bed was huge but elegant, a simple wrought iron tester frame draped in long swaths of sheer white fabric panels.

  And then she realized why she was so surprised.

  She had yet to see a single hint of BDSM or bondage. Where were all the toys and equipment? Surely the Connor of a bondage club would have an apartment full of that stuff.

  Jamie caught her looking around and snickered. "Looking for the bondage gear, aren't you?" He pointed at a wooden pedestal in one corner, the wooden chest at the foot of the bed, and an armoire against the far-left wall.

  She grinned, busted but strangely not embarrassed by it. After all, bondage was what they did for a living.

  She couldn't believe how comfortable and casual she was becoming with the lifestyle.

  But then they were kissing her and their hands were gliding all over her body, and she forgot everything but them and the pleasure they could bring each other without a single toy needed.

  CHAPTER 8

  Two Months Later…

  "Madison, you need to come home right now," her stepmother's voicemail message stated.

  Dropping her head back, Madison glared at the navy-blue playroom's ceiling and debated deleting the voicemail. With her free hand, she spritzed the spreader bars with disinfectant, then moved over to the Saint Andrew's Cross. After having another successful session, this time with a repeat client, she should have known better than to check her phone. Everything had been going so well…her new job at the club, her new relationships with Connor and Jamie.

  In fact, the relationships had been going so well that she was seldom at her own apartment lately. Most of the time, she just rode with Connor and Jamie from work straight to Connor’s apartment, where Connor had calmly suggested she and Jamie could both start keeping a few extra outfits in the closets for those unexpected morning-afters. Which seemed to happen all the time now.

  But now there was this voicemail from her mom.

  When the message was finished, Madison deleted it then blew out a long breath through pursed lips.

  "Problems?" Connor murmured from the doorway, making her jump and nearly drop her phone.

  She turned with a laugh while putting her phone back into sleep mode. "It's fine. Just…parent issues. You know how it goes. They're always calling wanting to know when I'll make a trip back to see them. Especially now that Christmas is coming up." Rolling her eyes, she tucked the phone into her cleavage under her tight leather blouse, the only place this crazy outfit afforded for keeping a phone.

  Then again, probably the whole point of bondage was to escape the real world, not keep a digital link to that world right there in your pocket.

  "Actually, I wouldn't know."

  "Wouldn't know about…?"

  "Parents wanting their grown kids to visit."

  "Are yours still alive or…" She hesitated. "Never mind. I'm being nosy."

  "No big deal. We just don't get along. They're hardcore Christian Republicans. My lifestyle preferences don't exactly please them." He shrugged one shoulder while watching her finish the cleaning.

  When she was done and had stored all the keys and cleaning bottles, she turned and gave him a smile as she walked towards him.

  Instinctively, her hand rose up to touch his cheek. But then she remembered where they were and started to lower it.

  He grabbed her hand mid-air and brought it to his mouth for a lingering kiss on her palm, shocking her and making her pulse skip then race. Because her lips ached to kiss him, she pressed them together.

  His eyelids flicked up, his gaze meeting hers, and she had to fight not to close the distance between them even more. Her body longed to press up against his, to feel all those muscles moving against her skin.

  She drew in a long breath and held it.

  Sighing, he released her hand and stepped back to allow her to exit the room. He pulled the door shut behind them. "So…are you going to go?"

  "No." She knew her answer was probably sharper than necessary. She swallowed hard to clear her throat. "It's just my mom using my dad's old illness to try and guilt me into visiting them."

  "What's he sick with?"

  "He's got a tumor between his heart and left lung. Because of where it's at, they can't operate without risking killing him. So year after year it just keeps growing. It's not affecting his heart so much as his lungs. He keeps getting pneumonia because the pressure on his lung won't let him fully expel the moisture inside it. And then the pneumonia creates scar tissue build up, so now both his lungs are damaged. But he's too stubborn to ever die. The doctors gave him six months to live when they discovered the tumor. That was twelve years ago."

  "Don't you miss them and want to see them for the holidays anyway?"

  "Yes and no. It's…complicated."

  "You don't like your parents?"

  Now that he'd opened up a bit about his family, she felt like she owed him the same. But how to explain it best? "You know how your life doesn't meet with your parents' expectations? Well, my parents' lives don't meet with mine."

  His eyebrows rose in silent question.

  She chewed on her lips for a few seconds as her stomach churned. But then she realized if anyone could understand, it would be Connor. "My mom, well, stepmom really, she's what you'd probably call a natural submissive. And my dad's a natural Dom, but without the toys or bondage equipment or rope. And they tend to do a lot of humiliation play. Except it's not play. And they never turn the humiliation part off."

  "He's abusive?"

  "Verbally, yes. Not all the time. But enough to piss me off. He only got physical with her once or twice when he was drunk, and she left him for a few weeks. So he never physically hurt her again. But…"

  He was watching her too closely, seeing every little thing she did in that too observant way that he had that made her feel naked and vulnerable before him even while fully clothed.

  They walked over to the black playroom's viewing room and quietly took chairs inside, the only viewers tonight for Jamie's session with a Dom client, which appeared to be well underway already. Jamie hung on the Saint Andrew's Cross facing away from them toward the wall, a gag of some kind strapped around his head. His entire body was nude, save for a four-inch-wide red satin ribbon tied up between his ass cheeks, knotted at the small of his back, then forking like suspenders over his shoulders and down his front side. The ribbon was Madison's idea, inspired by the Christmas season.

  The client appeared to have stepped out for a moment, possibly to use the restroom. So it was just Jamie all alone in the black playroom on the cross, his head hanging forward in apparent exhaustion.

  Then Madison noticed the blood pouring down Jamie's back and gasped. She grabbed Connor's forearm. "Jamie…his back…"

  "Fuck!" Grabbing his phone, Connor called the bouncer to look for and stop the client while they rushed out of the viewing room and over to Jamie.

  The bouncer reported that the client was long gone already, even as they raced through the black playroom's obstacle course of equipment to Jamie's side.

  ***

  The ER doctor promised that Jamie would be all right. He'd been severely beaten on his back, chest, stomach, and head and cut with what Jamie said was a knife on his legs.

  "Did he just get carried away or…" Connor asked as they helped Jamie out of the emergency room and into Connor's car. Madison knew from the phone calls Connor had made in the waiting room that Connor’s mind was already racing with all the new security measures they would be implementing at the club to make sure this never happened again. Video cameras, a security room to feed the digital video data to, someone to keep an eye on each playroom session’s video feed…

  Jamie miserably shrugged then winced at the pain the movement caused him.

  Connor didn't even ask where to take him; they headed straight for Connor's apartment. There was no question of Jamie being alone right now, even if the doctors had promised he would be okay with the slight concussion, and all his cuts bandaged and a few sutured shut as well.

  Madison's phone had rang several times during the hospital trip, so much so that she'd had to turn it off once she saw it was her stepmom.

 

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