Volumes of the Vemreaux Complete Collection: A Dystopian Adventure Trilogy, page 121
Looking her over, Sam nodded. “Alright, adorata. You wait here while I pack us a bag.” He pressed a meaningful kiss into her forehead, willing the gesture to breathe some life into her darkness. “Here, sit down.” He held out his hand to help her to the bed, and was shocked when she took advantage of the offer, allowing him to support her weight. “Whoa. What’s going on?” Sam lowered her to the mattress, lifting her legs up to rest on the comforter.
“My ribs hurt, is all.”
“Let me see.” Sam lifted the hem of her shirt, concerned yet more when she did not protest at displaying her skin to him and the near stranger. What greeted him was angry purple and black that wrapped from her spine to just under her heart. He could see fluid building underneath the surface. Sam covered his mouth to stifle his gasp. “This can’t be good, Blue.” He let out a noise of frustration. “And we can’t call Doctor Victor or take you to the ER. Shit!”
Everest spoke up from the chair he was now sitting erect in. “Ice pack?” he suggested.
“Yeah. I’ll grab one. You just stay with her.” Sam smoothed her hair too quickly to be soothing. “I’ll be right back, baby.”
As soon as Sam left, Blue reached out and gripped Everest by his knee, which was the only thing she could reach without stretching and inflicting more pain on herself. “I need you to get me something to make me fall asleep,” she whispered.
“So soon you want to join your new siblings in corruption?” The prince tried to keep his tone teasing, but his discomfort was obvious.
“The prophecy’s true. I can’t sleep, Everest. Not since I was a kid. Give me something to knock me out. Something to make me forget. I need to forget.”
Everest loosened his collar. “Darling, I just escaped the noose for drugging Killian. I don’t think they’ll be so forgiving if I dose two of you in as many days. Even pacifists have their limits.”
“You’re here because I stuck up for you. I’m the reason you haven’t been tossed back out. I’ve been working on Liam, trying to make him forgive you. You owe me, Sinclair!”
Everest thought a moment, and then leaned back, one leg crossed over the other, finger to his mouth as he took in her vulnerability. “You’re right. I do owe you. However, I seem to have left my pharmacy in my other jacket, so I couldn’t help you if I wanted, which I don’t. I don’t think Pan would take kindly to me giving his girlfriend a date rape drug so soon after my marriage proposal was rejected.”
“So close.” She shifted on the bed and stifled a groan through the pain. “And you didn’t technically propose, so you weren’t rejected. Doesn’t count.”
“You are kind.”
“No, I’m not.” Blue closed her eyes, attempting to shut out the pain.
Everest took a deep breath. “One of the many conditions your father laid out for me staying here was that I was to take care of you.”
Blue blanched. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you say that.”
“Frederick said that I was being allowed to stay, in part, because you spoke up for me. That if I wanted to be a member of his family, I needed to start taking care of them.”
Blue tried to laugh, but did not have the heart for it. “I don’t need that. I don’t need anything. He probably meant Killian and Liam and Suzette.”
“Frederick was specific that you were the one I owed the debt to. Though, I’ve never been in charge of keeping alive so much as a goldfish before. I’d imagine, given your track record, you’re much more challenging to look after.” The prince paused, searching for wisdom. “So, other than drugs, what do you need?”
“Nothing,” Blue replied, her eyes sliding out of focus. “I don’t need anything. You’re off the hook. Look after the others. I…I can’t be here anymore. I don’t belong.”
Everest did not speak for several minutes, preferring to sit in companionable silence with the woman. He received precious little comfort through his suffering, so he was not sure how to go about it. Everest took a chance, reached out and held onto Blue’s hand. It was the most humanizing thing he had done in weeks, and he was surprised that both times, it had been with her. Though he could not force himself to be attracted to her, he could see why others were drawn her way.
“Don’t touch her!” Liam barked from the doorway, satisfied when Everest dropped Blue’s hand. “Blue, what’s all this about you leaving? Please tell me Sam’s been hallucinating.” He ignored Everest and stood by the bedside. “What’s going on?”
Blue shook her head, knowing her voice might break if she opened her mouth. She could feel his sympathetic eyes on her, and it made her want to either scream or cry; she could not decide which. Liam tried over and over to get an answer from her, but she remained silent. It was when Sam came down the hall with Killian that she turned her head in his direction.
“I didn’t want to wake Freddy, but yeah, she wants to leave for a few days,” Sam told Killian.
Blue could hear the distaste with which Killian answered. “That’s probably for the best.”
The depression gave way to agony, and her mouth opened in a silent scream of gut-wrenching pain that scared Liam. “Blue, what? What’s wrong?”
Sam set a suitcase and a backpack on the ground before pressing the ice pack to her side. She squirmed away from it, letting him know the pressure was hurting more than helping. He gave Liam a peek at her massive hematoma, causing Liam and Killian to gasp.
Killian stammered from the hallway, “She should go, Sam. Whatever she wants. I’ll tell Dad in the morning before he leaves. Get her out of here!”
Sam was surprised when Everest batted Liam out of the way. “She’s my responsibility!” Everest shouted. He wrapped his arms around Blue in the gentlest hug, lifting her to sitting so delicately, she barely registered the discomfort. “Are you blind? Her rib’s broken!” He whispered apologies to her over and over as he helped her out of the room to the garage. “Which car?” Everest asked, and then headed in the direction of Sam’s silver vehicle. Wordlessly, Everest assisted Blue into the car, registering the dead eyes that had danced with life and love and fight mere hours ago. He wanted his father’s tyranny to stop, not to put out the Light.
Everest pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and pressed it into Blue’s slack hand as Sam loaded the baggage into the trunk. The prince looked meaningfully into her eyes, willing his spark to ignite hers again. So rare was his cool façade lowered; he was grateful the illumination in the massive garage provided little light to uncover his indiscretion. “Rest well, little bird,” he whispered, tracing her tired face with his thumb. Everest pulled out of the vehicle and held his hand up to Sam. “Let my car lead the way out. They’ll think I’m going off somewhere, and it’ll draw away a fair amount of paparazzi.”
“That’d be great. Would have taken us at least an hour to lose them. Thanks.”
He held out his hand and shook Sam’s, looking at his friend in earnest. “Should you two need anything, all of my resources are at your disposal. Please don’t hesitate to call.”
“Thanks, E.”
Sam started the car and pulled behind Everest’s limo, waiting for it to leave the garage. “You alright back there, dolcezza?”
Blue did not answer. She had run out of lies. She stared out the tinted window, not even blinking at the dozens of flashes that bombarded the night as the journalists all tried to get a glimpse of the royal family.
They drove in silence, taking wrong turns a few times to be sure they were not followed. Half an hour later, they pulled into Sam’s garage, alerting a sleepy Elle to their arrival. She met them at the door, excited to not spend yet another night alone in the big house. When she caught wind of Sam’s anxiety, she sobered and moved to be of some use. She unloaded the trunk at Sam’s request while he carried Blue’s limp body into the house. Elle’s alarm at her friend’s compliance to be babied in such an obvious way only grew when she took in Blue’s face. Dull eyes haunted with too much grief stayed Elle’s many questions.
Laying her down on his bed, Sam’s heart sank, thinking of the fantasy he treasured for so long. Now it was dashed to pieces with her lifelessness. In his imagination, they made passionate love for hours, tangled in each other with need and want. Seeing her so devoid of everything he loved about her broke his heart. He took off her shoes and tucked the covers up to her chin. Ignoring Elle’s questioning stare, he grabbed up a pair of shorts and went to the bathroom to change.
“Blue,” Elle pleaded. “What’s wrong, baby doll?” When her friend did not give any indication she had heard, Elle prodded further. “Idahlia Jane, talk to me.” Even the use of her despised name did not evoke a reaction. “Is it Baird? What’d he do? Is it Liam? Killian? Liam told me that Everest prince proposed marriage. Is that it?” Her voice lowered. “Did…did you go dark? Do you need me to clean something up? It’s okay, sweetie. I’ll take care of it. Just tell me what to do.”
Blue did not respond. She did not even blink out a coded message for her friend. She was lost. Language, feeling, warmth, hearing and hope all left her as she stared motionlessly at the ceiling, pondering Baird’s true feelings about her. She was a monster, and he was right. It had not been him doing the bulk of the killing, it was her. He was not the first monster. He mutated to match her. How horrible it must have been to be stuck with her to watch over. She went over the lengthy list of Baird’s character flaws, concluding that none of them would be there, were it not for her. He hardened himself to take care of her, to make sure she stayed safe and under control. All the dreadful things he had done, Blue began to take responsibility for. The way he treated Griffin would never have happened if he had not had to use dozens of other people to keep their secret. He had grown desensitized to his own calluses – the calluses he built up from the strain of raising her.
Her ribs hurt, that was certain. Baird shoved his fingers deep into her wound, and now each breath was like sucking air through a coffee stirrer. Everything was painful. She just wanted it to stop.
“Do you think I can die?” she asked, interrupting Elle’s stream of queries and concerns.
Elle stopped short. “Of course. That’s why it’s such a miracle you’re still alive after the island.”
“I mean, apart from the tyranny. Do you think I can be stopped?”
Elle’s brows furrowed together. “I think so. Sure. Just like anyone else.”
Blue’s hand launched out from under the covers and gripped Elle’s arm. With all the sincerity she could muster, she looked deep into her friend’s eyes and begged her for the one thing she knew would stop the torment. “Then kill me. Please, Elle.”
Fear like Blue had never seen in her best friend washed up Elle’s body and terrified her senses. “Blue, what are you talking about? Don’t…why would you say something like that?”
Blue rasped, trying without success to speak normally. “You’re the only one who could do it. I don’t want Baird to do it. Plus, he still needs me for the tyranny. Sam wouldn’t do this for me. You know the damage I can cause. Please, Elle.”
“Sam!” Elle called, frightened. “Stop this, Blue. I don’t know what’s gotten into you or why you think I’d ever be able to…but you’re wrong. Whatever you’re trying to run from, this isn’t the way.”
Sam appeared next to the blonde in his comfortable shorts and t-shirt. “What’s going on?”
Elle pulled Sam away from the bed and whispered her alarm to him.
Blue groaned. “No, Elle! Now he won’t let you alone with me!”
Anger, frustration and fear flooded his face, but Sam finally learned to control his tongue and temper. He said nothing, assured that Elle had no intention of obeying the absurd demand. “We’ll see you in the morning, Elle. Thanks.” Sam watched as Elle reluctantly retired to a sleepless night in the spare bedroom.
Once they were alone, Sam did not bother asking questions he knew Blue would not answer. Sam laid next to her, stroking her hair and occasionally pressing his lips to her nose or forehead. He would not tell her what to do or how to be; he was resolved to simply hold her through the worst of it, no matter how long it took.
Hours later, the silence and stillness got to him and pulled him down to a fitful sleep. It was the first night terror he had with her in the bed. He clawed at the sheets and screamed obscenities in Italian. Dread and anger manipulated his body as it arched against the mattress.
Blue was barely lucid herself, so she did not react with the approach Brody taught her.
Elle stomped into the room and dumped a glass of cold water on the man, a trick she learned when Sam banished himself to his house during his fight with Blue. “I swear, it’s like sleeping next to the whipping post with this one here,” she commented groggily. She turned to her best friend and saw that Blue was hardly in her own body. “Blue, snap out of it. Honey, you need to tell me what’s wrong. You can’t keep on like this.”
Blue said nothing, even as Sam tore off his drenched shirt and mopped his face with it. She stared blankly at the ceiling, lost in the list of things that would be different about Baird were she not around to ruin his life.
Sam lit up one of his sweet-smelling cigarettes next to her, his anxiety palpable. Elle left, disgusted at the dirty habit, but Blue drank it in. The scent filled her, pulling her marginally out of her haze and into Sam’s. Without a word, she reached up and took the cigarette from him.
“I know. I’m sorry. Haven’t had one in a while, but it’s been…it’s been a rough night.”
Instead of scolding him or throwing it out, she brought it to her lips and took a long puff. The smoke filled her lungs, and despite her constant fight for control, she coughed several times, grabbing her ribs to fend off the searing rip that all but crippled her.
Sam snatched it back from her, indignant. “What do you think you’re doing?” he questioned, brow furrowed. “This isn’t for unchanged Vemreaux, and certainly not for you.” He made to put it out, but Blue grabbed it from him, a small bit of fight surfacing. “No, Blue!” he protested, but to no avail.
She took another drag, willing it to unwind her as it did Sam. To calm her and chase away the demons that tormented her. She could feel things far stronger than she was used to entering her, and she welcomed the numbing they provided.
“You want it?” Sam asked, snatching it from her. “Then you need to start talking. What’s got you like this?”
Without answering, she grabbed it back, sucking down another lungful. Blue inhaled the poison deeply, coughing and crying out in her whisper this time as she held her side. “Ow! It hurts!”
Elle wandered in, and Sam sent her back out with a request for some tea for Blue’s sore throat. The admission of pain was the first his girlfriend had spoken in quite some time, so he tended to her side with an ice pack until she quieted, having smoked her way to the nub of the cigarette.
Whether it was the late hour, the high-inducing smoke or the constant physical and emotional agony, Blue began to sob. Tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks, streaking lines that made odd patterns with the scratches on her face. “It’s my fault!” she wailed in her raspy voice.
The confession caught Sam off-guard, but he scrambled to hold her. He had never seen tears on her before, and the sight both alarmed and softened him. He murmured comforting words in Italian as she blubbered into his naked chest, clutching his skin to keep from crawling out of hers.
“My fault! My fault.”
“What’s your fault, baby?”
She could not put words to the crux of her misery. The unbearable beast Baird had become was because of her. Baird had to be tougher to rein in her homicidal tendencies and keep the messy family together.
Instead of answering, she held tighter to Sam, digging her fingers into his muscles and using him as an anchor to sanity. He tried again and again to get her to speak, but her mouth remained shut.
When Elle came in with two cups of tea, Sam intercepted them and reached under his bed, pulling out a bottle of vodka. “You want to sleep? This might help.” Reluctantly, he splashed a meager amount of the alcohol into her teacup, ignoring Elle’s uncertainty.
Blue yanked the bottle from his hand and tipped it to her lips, making it through three chugs before Sam ripped it from her, introducing her to the harsh burn.
“What are you doing? That’s way too much!” objected Sam, dismayed.
Blue reached for the bottle in lieu of an answer. Her ribs limited her movement somewhat, but she adjusted so she could snatch it back from him. “I want to sleep!” she objected belligerently, moving off the bed and taking several long glugs before the fire in her aching throat could not be ignored. “Ack! This tastes terrible!” She took a breath, dodging his reach as she poured yet more into her system, hoping to dilute the agony and alertness she could not escape. More and more she drank, ignoring their shouts of protest. Finally, Elle grabbed her from behind, pressing her hand to the bruised ribs so Blue would release the contraband.
“Elle!” Blue was shocked at the betrayal.
“I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry! But you can’t drink anymore. You’ve had enough for a changed Vemreaux, so give it a minute to kick in. You’ll make yourself sick if you drink much more.”
“It’s my fault, Elle!” Blue slumped to the ground at her friend’s feet, pleading for a pardon. “If I hadn’t…If I wasn’t, then he wouldn’t be…and Griffin’s hurt, and it’s because of me!”
Elle dropped to her knees and held her friend fast. “I know all about what happened to Griffin, and you had nothing to do with it. It was Baird’s idea, and though it wasn’t the best, it got the job done. Let him deal with the guilt, not you.”
“Killian!” she moaned. “My best Killian hates me, and I need him! And Brody!” Blue agonized. “Brody and Ariel! They died, and it’s my fault!”
