Delphi Collected Works of Marie Corelli, page 110
part #22 of Delphi Series Series
For instance, she had once imagined that all the men and women of culture who followed the higher professions must perforce be a sort of “Joyous Fraternity,” superior to other mortals not so gifted, — and, under this erroneous impression, she was at first eager to know some of the so-called “great” people who had distinguished themselves in literature or the fine arts. She had fancied that they must of necessity be all refined, sympathetic, large-hearted, and noble-minded — alas! how grievously was she disappointed! She found, to her sorrow, that the tree of modern Art bore but few wholesome roses and many cankered buds — that the “Joyous Fraternity” were not joyous at all — but, on the contrary, inclined to dyspepsia and discontentment. She found that even poets, whom she had fondly deemed were the angel-guides among the children of this earth, — were most of them painfully conceited, selfish in aim and limited in thought, — moreover, that they were often so empty of all true inspiration, that they were actually able to hate and envy one another with a sort of womanish spite and temper, — that novelists, professing to be in sympathy with the heart of humanity, were no sooner brought into contact one with another, than they plainly showed by look, voice, and manner, the contempt they entertained for each other’s work, — that men of science were never so happy as when trying to upset each other’s theories; — that men of religious combativeness were always on the alert to destroy each other’s creeds, — and that, in short, there was a very general tendency to mean jealousies, miserable heart-burnings and utter weariness all round.
On one occasion, she, in the sweetest simplicity, invited two lady authoresses of note to meet at one of her “at homes,”. . . she welcomed both the masculine-looking ladies with a radiant smile, and introduced them, saying gently,— “You will be so pleased to know each other!” But the stony stare, stiff nod, portentous sniff, and scornful smile with which these two eminent females exchanged cold greetings, were enough to daunt the most sympathetic hostess that ever lived — and when they at once retired to different corners of the room and sat apart with their backs turned to one another for the remainder of the evening, their attitude was so uncompromising that it was no wonder the gentle Thelma felt quite dismayed and wretched at the utter failure of the rencontre.
“They would not be sociable!” she afterwards complained to Lady Winsleigh. “They tried to be as rude to each other as they could!”
Lady Winsleigh laughed. “Of course!” she said. “What else did you expect! But if you want some fun, ask a young, pretty, and brilliant authoress (there are a few such) to meet an old, ugly and dowdy one (and there are many such), and watch the dowdy one’s face! It will be a delicious study of expression, I assure you!”
But Thelma would not try this delicate experiment, — in fact, she began rather to avoid literary people, with the exception of Beau Lovelace. His was a genial, sympathetic nature, and, moreover, he had a winning charm of manner which few could resist. He was not a bookworm, — he was not, strictly speaking, a literary man, — and he was entirely indifferent to public praise or blame. He was, as he himself expressed it, “a servant and worshipper of literature,” and there is a wide gulf of difference between one who serves literature for its own sake and one who uses it basely as a tool to serve himself.
But in all her new and varied experiences, perhaps Thelma was most completely bewildered by the women she met. Her simple Norse beliefs in the purity and gentleness of womanhood were startled and outraged, — she could not understand London ladies at all. Some of them seemed to have no idea beyond dress and show, — others looked upon their husbands, the lawful protectors of their name and fame, with easy indifference, as though they were mere bits of household furniture, — others, having nothing better to do, “went in” for spiritualism, — the low spiritualism that manifests itself in the turning of tables and moving of side-boards — not the higher spiritualism of an improved, perfected, and saint-like way of life — and these argued wildly on the theory of matter passing through matter, to the extent of declaring themselves able to send a letter or box through the wall without making a hole in it, — and this with such obstinate gravity as made Thelma fear for their reason. Then there were the women-atheists, — creatures who had voluntarily crushed all the sweetness of the sex within them — foolish human flowers without fragrance, that persistently turned away their faces from the sunlight and denied its existence, preferring to wither, profitless, on the dry stalk of their own theory; — there were the “platform-women,” unnatural products of an unnatural age, — there were the great ladies of the aristocracy who turned with scorn from a case of real necessity, and yet spent hundreds of pounds on private theatricals wherein they might have the chance of displaying themselves in extravagant costumes, — and there were the “professional” beauties, who, if suddenly deprived of elegant attire and face-cosmetics, turned out to be no beauties at all, but very ordinary, unintelligent persons.
“What is the exact meaning of the term, ‘professional beauty’?” Thelma had asked Beau Lovelace on one occasion. “I suppose it is some very poor beautiful woman, who takes money for showing herself to the public, and having her portraits sold in the shops? And who is it that pays her?”
Lovelace broke into a laugh. “Upon my word, Lady Errington, — you have put the matter in a most original but indubitably correct light! Who pays the ‘professional beauty,’ you ask? Well, in the case of Mrs. Smith-Gresham, whom you met the other day, it is a certain Duke who pays her to the tune of several thousands a year. When he gets tired of her, or she of him, she’ll find somebody else — or perhaps she’ll go on the stage and swell the list of bad amateurs. She’ll get on somehow, as long as she can find a fool ready to settle her dressmaker’s bill.”
“I do not understand!” said Thelma, — and her fair brows drew together in that pained grave look that was becoming rather frequent with her now.
And she began to ask fewer questions concerning the various strange phases of social life that puzzled her, — why, for instance, religious theorists made so little practical use of their theories, — why there were cloudy-eyed eccentrics who admired the faulty drawing of Watts, and the common-place sentence-writing of Walt Whitman, — why members of Parliament talked so much and did so little, — why new poets, however nobly inspired, were never accepted unless they had influential friends on the press, — why painters always married their models or their cooks, and got heartily ashamed of them afterwards, — and why people all round said so many things they did not mean. And confused by the general insincerity, she clung, — poor child! — to Lady Winsleigh, who had the tact to seem what she was not, — and the cleverness to probe into Thelma’s nature and find out how translucently clear and pure it was — a perfect well of sweet water, into which one drop of poison, or better still, several drops, gradually and insidiously instilled, might in time taint its flavor and darken its brightness. For if a woman have an innocent, unsuspecting soul as delicate as the curled cup of a Nile lily, the more easily will it droop and wither in the heated grasp of a careless, cruel hand. And to this flower-crushing task Lady Winsleigh set herself, — partly for malice pretense against Errington, whose coldness to herself in past days had wounded her vanity, and partly for private jealousy of Thelma’s beauty and attractiveness.
Within a short time she had completely won the girl’s confidence and affection, — Sir Philip, forgetting his former suspicions of her, was touched and disarmed by the attachment and admiration she openly displayed towards his young wife, — she and Thelma were constantly seen together, and Mrs. Rush-Marvelle, far-sighted as she generally was, often sighed doubtfully and rubbed her nose in perplexity as she confessed she “couldn’t quite understand Clara.” But Mrs. Rush-Marvelle had her hands full of other matters, — she was aiding and abetting Marcia Van Clupp to set traps for that mild mouse Lord Masherville, — and she was too much absorbed in this difficult and delicate business to attend to anything else just then. Otherwise, it is possible she might have scented danger for Thelma’s peace of mind, and being good-natured, might have warded it off before it approached too closely, — but, like policeman who are never within call when wanted, so friends are seldom at hand when their influence might be of real benefit.
The Van Clupps were people Thelma could not get on with at all — she tried to do so because Mrs. Rush-Marvelle had assured her they were “charming” — and she liked Mrs. Marvelle sufficiently well to be willing to please her. But, in truth, these rich and vulgar Yankees seemed to her mind less to be esteemed than the peasants of the Altenfjord, who in many instances possessed finer tact and breeding than old Van Clupp, the man of many dollars, whose father had been nothing but a low navvy, but of whom he spoke now with smirking pride as a real descendant of the Pilgrim Fathers. An odd thing it is, by the way, how fond some Americans are of tracing back their ancestry to these virtuous old gentlemen! The Van Clupps were of course not the best types of their country — they were of that class who, because they have money, measure everything by the money-standard, and hold even a noble poverty in utter contempt. Poor Van Clupp! It was sometimes pitiable to see him trying to be a gentleman— “going in” for “style” — to an excess that was ludicrous, — cramming his house with expensive furniture like an upholsterer’s show-room, — drinking his tea out of pure Sevres, with a lofty ignorance of its beauty and value, — dressing his wife and daughter like shilling fashion-plates, and having his portrait taken in precisely the same attitude as that assumed by the Duke of Wrigglesbury when his Grace sat to the same photographer! It was delicious to hear him bragging of his pilgrim ancestor, — while in the same breath he would blandly sneer at certain “poor gentry” who could trace back their lineage to Coeur de Lion! But because the Erringtons were rich as well as titled persons, Van Clupp and his belongings bent the servile knee before them, flattering Thelma with that ill-judged eagerness and zealous persistency which distinguish inborn vulgarity, and which, far from pleasing her, annoyed and embarrassed her because she could not respond sincerely to such attentions.
There were many others too, not dollar-crusted Americans, whose excessive adulation and ceaseless compliment vexed the sincere, frank spirit of the girl, — a spirit fresh and pure as the wind blowing over her own Norse mountains. One of these was Sir Francis Lennox, that fashionable young man of leisure, — and she had for him an instinctive, though quite unreasonable aversion. He was courtesy itself — he spared no pains to please her. Yet she felt as if his basilisk brown eyes were always upon her, — he seemed to be ever at hand, ready to watch over her in trifles, such as the passing of a cup of tea, the offering of her wrap, — the finding of a chair, — the holding of a fan, — he was always on the alert, like a remarkably well-trained upper servant. She could not, without rudeness, reject such unobtrusive, humble services, — and yet — they rendered her uncomfortable, though she did not quite know why. She ventured to mention her feeling concerning him to her friend Lady Winsleigh, who heard her timid remarks with a look on her face that was not quite pleasant.
“Poor Sir Francis!” her ladyship said with a slight, mocking laugh. “He’s never happy unless he plays puppy-dog! Don’t mind him, Thelma! He won’t bite, I assure you, — he means no harm. It’s only his little way of making himself agreeable!”
George Lorimer, during this particular “London season,” fled the field of action, and went to Paris to stay with Pierre Duprèz. He felt that it was dangerous to confront the fair enemy too often, for he knew in his own honest heart that his passion for Thelma increased each time he saw her — so, he avoided her. She missed him very much from her circle of intimates, and often went to see his mother, Mrs. Lorimer, one of the sweetest old ladies in the world, — who had at once guessed her son’s secret, but, like a prudent dame, kept it to herself. There were few young women as pretty and charming as old Mrs. Lorimer, with her snow-white parted hair and mild blue eyes, and voice as cheery as the note of a thrush in spring-time. After Lady Winsleigh, Thelma liked her best of all her new friends, and was fond of visiting her quiet little house in Kensington, — for it was very quiet, and seemed like a sheltered haven of rest from the great rush of frivolity and folly in which the fashionable world delighted.
And Thelma was often now in need of rest. As the season drew towards its close, she found herself strangely tired and dispirited. The life she was compelled to lead was all unsuited to her nature — it was artificial and constrained, — and she was often unhappy. Why? Why, indeed! She did her best, — but she made enemies everywhere. Again, why? Because she had a most pernicious, — most unpleasant habit of telling the truth. Like Socrates, she seemed to say— “If any man should appear to me not to possess virtue, but to pretend that he does, I shall reproach him.” This she expressed silently in face, voice, and manner, — and, like Socrates, she might have added that she went about “perceiving, indeed, and grieving and alarmed that she was making herself odious.” For she discovered, by degrees, that many people looked strangely upon her — that others seemed afraid of her — and she continually heard that she was considered “eccentric.” So she became more reserved — even cold, — she was content to let others argue about trifles, and air their whims and follies without offering an opinion on any side.
And by-and-by the first shadow began to sweep over the fairness of her married life. It happened at a time when she and her husband were not quite so much together, — society and its various claims had naturally separated them a little, but now a question of political ambition separated them still more. Some well-intentioned friends had persuaded Sir Philip to stand for Parliament — and this idea no sooner entered his head, than he decided with impulsive ardor that he had been too long without a “career,” — and a “career” he must have in order to win distinction for his wife’s sake. Therefore, summoning his secretary, Neville to his aid, he plunged headlong into the seething, turgid waters of English politics, and shut himself up in his library day after day, studying blue-books, writing and answering letters, and drawing up addresses, — and with the general proneness of the masculine mind to attend to one thing only at a time, he grew so absorbed in his work that his love for Thelma, though all unchanged and deep as ever, fell slightly into the background of his thoughts. Not that he neglected her, — he simply concerned himself more with other things. So it happened that a certain indefinable sense of loss weighed upon her, — a vague, uncomprehended solitude began to encompass her, — a solitude even more keenly felt when she was surrounded by friends than when she was quite alone, — and as the sweet English June drew to its end, she grew languid and listless, and her blue eyes often filled with sudden tears. Her little watch-dog, Britta, began to notice this, and to wonder concerning the reason of her mistress’s altered looks.
“It is this dreadful London,” thought Britta. “So hot and stifling — there’s no fresh air for her. And all this going about to balls and parties and shows — no wonder she is tired out!”
But it was something more than mere fatigue that made Thelma’s eyes look sometimes so anxious, so gravely meditative and earnest. One day she seemed so much abstracted and lost in painful musings that Britta’s loving heart ached, and she watched her for some moments without venturing to say a word. At last she spoke out bravely —
“Fröken!” — she paused, — Thelma seemed not to hear her. “Fröken! — has anything vexed or grieved you today?”
Thelma started nervously. “Vexed me — grieved me?” she repeated. “No, Britta — why do you ask?”
“You look very tired, dear Fröken,” continued Britta gently. “You are not as bright as you were when we first came to London.”
Thelma’s lips quivered. “I — I am not well, Britta,” she murmured, and suddenly her self-control gave way, and she broke into tears. In an instant Britta was kneeling by her, coaxing and caressing her, and calling her by every endearing name she could think of, while she wisely forbore from asking any more questions. Presently her sobs grew calmer, — she rested her fair head against Britta’s shoulder and smiled faintly. At that moment a light tap was heard outside, and a voice called —
“Thelma! Are you there?”
Britta opened the door, and Sir Philip entered hurriedly and smiling — but stopped short to survey his wife in dismay.
“Why, my darling!” he exclaimed distressfully. “Have you been crying?”
Here the discreet Britta retired.
Thelma sprang to her husband and nestled in his arms.
“Philip, do not mind it,” she murmured. “I felt a little sad — it is nothing! But tell me — you do love me? You will never tire of me? You have always loved me, I am sure?”
He raised her face gently with one hand, and looked at her in surprise.
“Thelma — what strange questions from you! Love you? Is not every beat of my heart for you? Are you not my life, my joy — my everything in this world?” And he pressed her passionately in his arms and kissed her.
“You have never loved any one else so much?” she whispered, half abashed.
“Never!” he answered readily. “What makes you ask such a thing?”
